Rejected for wuh????

[PozToxVersPig]

There's plenty to be said on the "more bottoms than tops" thread here (enter the fucking rabbit hole), and the many EXCUSES we find NOT to fuck each other, but I encountered two different situations recently that both had me in my thoughts.

ALL THINGS EQUAL in terms of our sexual wants and preferences, what we were looking for, etc. two things were called out by the other person "in case it makes a difference" (which it does not):

1. One dude is missing limbs (legs).  Had I just gotten there I don't think I would have even remarked on it (maybe after cumming would have asked what happened if he was willing to share).  He has two prosthetic legs.  He is sexy as fuck, nice, dominant, etc.
2. One person lives in subsidized housing.  Again, I don't know that I would have thought about it or known it was subsidized housing had I just got there and hooked up.

I imagine the revelation of these things prior to hooking up had to do with past rejection or some asshole arriving in the situation and the running screaming like a bitch.  When I asked both said something along the lines of "...I tell people because I am insecure."  

WOOF!  None of those things are in a profile field on a site.

And to me, though very different things, neither matters at all.

So I guess my question is - all things equal, what could disqualify a person from being fuckable/worth a hookup?  GODDAMN if FICO scores and physical differences start showing up on profiles, I'm jumping ship.  If they have those felt paintings all over their walls?  If they are a furry?  If they have a Care Bear comforter on their bed?  What's next.  AGH!

 

[Guest]

Well, @PozToxVersPig the second revelation (subsidized housing) is more of an artificial social construct rather than anything to do with that person. But, many people are class-conscious and they'd rather be caught naked in Bev hills than being seen driving a 'hatchback' in the wrong area of the village. (remember Niles? 🙂 )

The first one is certainly more personal and it does address a physical trait which may be important to some. I know I am very much into feet and legs so a prosthetic would be a bone killer for me. Of course, it is a shitty situation for the guy, as he has to disclose to any potential hookup his situation. I just think that in a physical setting - a bar or a club, he would be more at ease since people can focus on what's important for them. Just my thought. 

However, I think most of us have a preference when it comes to sex. Sometimes the bar is lowered with help of a beer, or six, and sometimes the bar is kept high if the preferences are very strong. 

Both situations you describe are unfortunate as once you meet the person they'd be totally fuckable. But as we rely on apps to build up the image of the potential hookup we tend to attach constraints. And sometimes people are just looking for an excuse not to hookup: body fat of 4% when I want 2% (stupid, yes, but I met these strongly opinionated men IRL), or brown eyes and I prefer green, no body hair on the back when I really want a hairy one, etc. etc.

 At the end of the day, I wouldn't turn down a fuck just because they live in a subsidized housing or drive a domestic car instead of an Arctic White BMW. But I would turn down a fuck if the guy wants to top me with his giant 2" micropenis, or if I have to hire a team of scientists to expertly unfold the layers of fat covering a cutesy little pee-pee. 

And that's why being a cumdump in a fuckbox has the advantage of removing all those whom I would turn down anyway. If a dick is big and hard enough to make it inside me, we're game. 

[bareback-flipflop]

I think it’s a very complex thing. It’s rather psychological than biological. And the socialisation also has a huge impact on it. There are plenty of research articles about the effects of the influence of the environment around us, which overemphasise the artificial beauty. Women with long legs, blond hair, flat stomach or men with muscles, huge dick, etc. 

People suppose that a person with this above described body is a guarantee of good sex. 
 

As time goes on people can understand that it’s not true. On the other hand, there are some factors of appearance that can affect biologically. If someone is out of the limit somehow the dick wont be hard and work. 
 

Let me add a personal experience. 
A guy texted me. He visited Budapest with his husband. They were in an open relationship without sex. The guy was sexy and horny and needed a breeding. I was horny and needed a hole. Somehow I didn’t check his additional photos, I focused only on his face, ass and dick pics. 
 

We couldn’t meet in the hotel because of his husband. I offered to take him with my car to my apartment. It was a bit weird how he sat in. In my apartment he asked if he could undress in the bedroom. Including his shoes. It was weirder but I was polite and he was my guest. 

He already sat on my bed when I realised that he had an artificial left leg. I can’t say that it wasn’t a bit confused when he took off his leg. Not his condition made me confused but I had never have sex with guys like him. I didn’t know how to behave naturally but not that naturally which seemed artificially natural. Furthermore I didn’t know which positions would work. 
Finally I decided to focus on his ass and just had sex with anybody. I supposed he would know what was comfortable for him. It was a great duck and I bred him. 
It was embarrassing only not to inform me beforehand. Later I checked his profile again and there was an obvious photo. 
 

However I can imagine that people want to avoid situations where they don’t know how to behave and the inconvenience which can appear with this. 

[NordicBtm]

I consider myself an equal opportunity slut. Now that being said I have a few times opted out of a hookup for the following reasons:

- Overall vibe. Just something “off” and not feeling right. Usually it wasn’t even anything that had to do with the guy or his physical features.

- I arrived to a guys place and I don’t judge but his room was absolutely disgusting with so much trash on the floor.

- I arrived at this guys place who told me he was 35 and it turns out he was like 55. I left and he was quite offended. 🙄

So I guess my no-nos is absolute messiness and lying in your pics (you turn out to not look like your pics because you are way older / fatter / different).

[anonCUMtainer]

Is it complicated? Maybe for some yes. We all tend to get in our own way at some point about something...

I also love and appreciate all the previous comments and posts, very thoughtful stuff men, and I love this community for illustrating that IF we fall into the trap of subscribing to labels it becomes super easy to have or find reasons to dismiss our fellow man. My personal struggle is that my "filter" tends to be pretty basic like my brothers who previously commented; If you want to breed me, I want you to!! If you don't want to empty your seed inside me, then I pass.

The way I reconcile this, is by choosing to remain focused on compassion. I have read about other members own personal experiences and have had my own experiences where I was genuinely surprised by many of the truly great fucks I have had with men who were "not my type" etc.

The disadvantage to these apps is being taken advantage of by people who will exploit your compassion. Sadly, this is part of the world we live in and I try to have empathy for those who have to be assholes or shit bags to their fellow man to get what they need or want.

[YourNoLimitsBottom]

I've turned down guys because of various flavors of the situation: "Yes I said I was a top but now that we are together I'm REALLY looking to bottom"

There were guys that thought I would be horny enough to just throw my hands in the air and fuck them after they pull this. Nope, I walk.