Partying and play

[Ptown66]

I want to preface this by saying that I do NOT have a problem with people playing on T, etc if it’s not fucking up their life. Unfortunately it did a fuck ton of damage to mine in a short time. So, I’m sober. But I haven’t been that long. I’ve not used a condom in almost 20 years, but only recently started bottoming raw. As I work sites like BBRT I’m finding that I am really outside the scene by wanting to get into more intense stuff sober. Does anyone have anything they’ve lived out in this sphere and can give me suggestions? I’d been chatting this really hot dude for a bit today and we were making plans to play, when he told me we’d be slamming. Fucking crushed me. 

[NWUSHorny]

I've never been into the party scene, so other than some occasional drinking and having sex, I've always been stone cold sober in my sexuality. A couple of observations:

1) It's easier to find the more intense sexual situations at a RT sex venue/cruising spot than it is online. It's also easier to just walk away if someone insists on going beyond your comfort zone insisting that you participate, or even when they are simply too out of it to be an active participant in intense sexual play.

2) Most of not all of the apps have guys who delve deeper into the partying aspect all the time, and in many cases have completely abandoned the actual sex for drug induced fantasies. This is only partially because the partying puts them in a state where they can't perform sexually, a lot of them actually appear like they can perform sexually but still don't have the courage even after partying.

3) Those of us who can be sexually intense without partying are out there, but in some areas are fairly rare.

[partying.hard]

@Ptown66, you know I party.  And most of the guys who play like us also Party.
 

From my experience, there are few guys who play like us who *never* have gotten high.  And many of the guys who play like us used to party and that’s where they got their experience, even if they are in recovery and sober today.

[Ptown66]

18 minutes ago, partying.hard said:

@Ptown66, you know I party.  And most of the guys who play like us also Party.
 

From my experience, there are few guys who play like us who *never* have gotten high.  And many of the guys who play like us used to party and that’s where they got their experience, even if they are in recovery and sober today.

Yeah. As I said, I think people who can party and handle it, it’s great. Unfortunately I’m not one. I stopped after putting myself in the hospital with an OD. Yeah. I miss getting fucked for 16 hours straight, but I can live without that. I think, from the sense I’ve gotten of you, you’d be fully able to play and engage. Party or not. But that’s rare. So people just get higher. 
 

I’m thinking of going to a venue in PS when I’m there, putting on a blindfold and getting on a fuck bench, and just seeing what happens. 

[Ptown66]

44 minutes ago, NWUSHorny said:

I've never been into the party scene, so other than some occasional drinking and having sex, I've always been stone cold sober in my sexuality. A couple of observations:

1) It's easier to find the more intense sexual situations at a RT sex venue/cruising spot than it is online. It's also easier to just walk away if someone insists on going beyond your comfort zone insisting that you participate, or even when they are simply too out of it to be an active participant in intense sexual play.

2) Most of not all of the apps have guys who delve deeper into the partying aspect all the time, and in many cases have completely abandoned the actual sex for drug induced fantasies. This is only partially because the partying puts them in a state where they can't perform sexually, a lot of them actually appear like they can perform sexually but still don't have the courage even after partying.

3) Those of us who can be sexually intense without partying are out there, but in some areas are fairly rare.

Yeah. Next week I’m going to try some really wild stuff at a public venue. That ought to weed out some trouble you get from going to a guy’s house. 

[NWUSHorny]

2 minutes ago, Ptown66 said:

Yeah. Next week I’m going to try some really wild stuff at a public venue. That ought to weed out some trouble you get from going to a guy’s house. 

I saw your post about going to PS soon, I highly recommend Club 541, no private rooms so it is fairly difficult for them to use and pressure you to use with them. When I've been, even the nights with small crowds are pretty sexually intense, and you will be able to get fucked by or fuck multiple men in a short period of time as long as you aren't sexually inhibited or overly picky.

[BootmanLA]

2 hours ago, partying.hard said:

@Ptown66, you know I party.  And most of the guys who play like us also Party.
 

From my experience, there are few guys who play like us who *never* have gotten high.  And many of the guys who play like us used to party and that’s where they got their experience, even if they are in recovery and sober today.

Define "play like us".

[partying.hard]

8 minutes ago, BootmanLA said:

Define "play like us".

lol….he knows our definition.  We have chatted extensively about our mutual proclivities!

[BootmanLA]

On 2/20/2025 at 5:12 PM, partying.hard said:

lol….he knows our definition.  We have chatted extensively about our mutual proclivities!

Which is fine for a private conversation; ones carried out in public on public forums perhaps should be explained a bit more, for the benefit of the rest of us.

That said, I think there's kind of a navel-gazing effect; when you hang around a bunch of drug users whenever you have "play like us", naturally you're going to think that "play like us" means drug users. People whose only experience with "eating out" is McDonald's are unlikely to be able to envision that there's an entire mass of people whose tastes are, shall we say, substantially different.

[Trainingwheels]

On 2/20/2025 at 12:48 PM, Ptown66 said:

Yeah. As I said, I think people who can party and handle it, it’s great. Unfortunately I’m not one. I stopped after putting myself in the hospital with an OD. Yeah. I miss getting fucked for 16 hours straight, but I can live without that. I think, from the sense I’ve gotten of you, you’d be fully able to play and engage. Party or not. But that’s rare. So people just get higher. 
 

I’m thinking of going to a venue in PS when I’m there, putting on a blindfold and getting on a fuck bench, and just seeing what happens. 

Hi - PTown 66

first of all congratulations on recognizing your need to be sober and maintaining it for the length of time that you have. I know how hard it can be to even make it through a day without using. I jumping in here even though we don’t know each other because I have a whole bunch  of experience  dealing with addiction to meth, both mine and other peoples. I’m not medical professional and I have no sobriety agenda to push. I understand the seriousness of the question your asking and in my experience it’s one of the biggest ones I’ve faced on this yellow brick road. 
I’ve written and deleted this message about ten times now because I know through painful experience how destructive it is to talk about addiction and sobriety in mixed company, especially well meaning mixed company. 
Cliff notes: you CAN do anything you did high sober. You can’t do it the same way you did it before and stay sober.  I live in Palm Springs. DM me if you’d like to talk. I think I can answer your questions with actual suggestions based on real experience but in order to really be of help to you I would like to make sure I fully understand your situation, because this is actually a very complicated, nuanced, and personal topic that is easily over simplified ( See Nancy Regan), misunderstood ( see any number of comments on this topic right here in our own little bareback Uptopia) and I have way too much respect for your sobriety and my sanity to try and have that discussion in a public comments section. And if the idea of connecting with me feels like fucking with a condom I respect that 100%. Seriously. I suspect there are a few other guys on here that can really help. The fact that Raw Top offers to block chemsex stories for anyone in sobriety so they aren’t triggered is so amazing because at the very least one person in this community real understands addiction. And where there’s smoke  there’s fire. Shit. I just triggered myself with yhat bumer sticker. Forgot I said anything about smoking. Or fire. See this is why I didn’t want to do this publicly. Nobody use because of my poorly chosen words. Unless you’re not an addict or trying to stay sober. In which case do want. You will anyway. Because you can. And that’s totally cool. For you. 🙏❤️😉
 

[norefusal]

i've learned to sharpen my spidey senses a bit as there are a lot of closeted T users. 

many have a habit of never mentioning it once but surprise, guess what comes out halfway thru the hook up. some actually keep in under wraps and only spring it on you on the 2nd or 3rd hook up. 

i've manager to stay sober while they use on a number of occasions but worse than the temptation is the knowledge how crap the sex can be on T if you're not also spun to paper over the cracks. 

but yes Virginia, sober kinky sex does exist so don't give up the hunt 

[ellentonboy]

It's amazing how many judgmental individuals there are on this Forum.  You'd think they were Trumpsters........

There are plenty of guys out there who don't care one way or another if someone is partying, because they are attracted to the guy, who can meet expectations and provide a fun and SATISFYING experience.  What amazes me is the number of bottoms and versatile bottoms who have this "holier than thou" attitude when in fact no one really cares what their opinion is, they are merely a place for the top to deposit his seed.  They can shake their heads and say, "no, I can't be with someone who parties",  what they don't realize is that time is running out and their options will diminish as they age. I wonder how they will feel on the subject in five or ten years, or if they will be scrolling through the "for pay" profiles on various hook up sites.  So sad.....

[theplayerking]

I’ve never done a substance harder than whisky. I clearly state that I don’t “party” in any profile I have and it’s never been an issue finding sober bareback fun. Personally I don’t like playing with guys that are partying because they tend to be so inward-focused that I feel more like a human dildo than a sex partner. I’m not judging their lifestyle choices, but I just think they are less fun to be around. 

[Erik62]

8 hours ago, ellentonboy said:

It's amazing how many judgmental individuals there are on this Forum.  You'd think they were Trumpsters........

There are plenty of guys out there who don't care one way or another if someone is partying, because they are attracted to the guy, who can meet expectations and provide a fun and SATISFYING experience.  What amazes me is the number of bottoms and versatile bottoms who have this "holier than thou" attitude when in fact no one really cares what their opinion is, they are merely a place for the top to deposit his seed.  They can shake their heads and say, "no, I can't be with someone who parties",  what they don't realize is that time is running out and their options will diminish as they age. I wonder how they will feel on the subject in five or ten years, or if they will be scrolling through the "for pay" profiles on various hook up sites.  So sad.....

Unfortuneately, us bottoms as young men, who give of ourselves to MOST TOPS (party goers & angels😇 LoL) freely & without judgement are usually NOT ACCORDED the same consideration / or entitlement to gratification as WE age.

    Despite the years of experience that keeps a cock cumming again & again & again, we seem to become less desirable, the farther we get past 50. 

    The majority of us "old fuckers" have got all our shit together: respect, awareness of limits, risks, in & outs of enhancement usage, administration, nutrition, partner welfare & knowing when to stop. 

    Next time, consider 🤔picking up that, "Old Fart" & you might actually experience:

MIND BLOWING SEX 😅😅.