Men with sexual hangups

[yoursinmine]

One of the problems with straight sex is women most often are repulsed by cum, at least one hole is off limits, they're not interested often enough and/or aren't adventurous. 

What do you do with gay men who share some of those qualities? Do you even bother? My ex refused everything except receiving blowjobs, I've read about gays who hate cum, and others who won't do anything without a condom. 

Is it still something you'd put up with or would you rather jerk off/wait?

[phillygwm]

  On 3/14/2025 at 8:25 PM, yoursinmine said:

One of the problems with straight sex is women most often are repulsed by cum, at least one hole is off limits, they're not interested often enough and/or aren't adventurous. 

What do you do with gay men who share some of those qualities? Do you even bother? My ex refused everything except receiving blowjobs, I've read about gays who hate cum, and others who won't do anything without a condom. 

Is it still something you'd put up with or would you rather jerk off/wait?

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Depends on the guy.  I could personally live without anal but he'd better give good head.  But I have friends who only bottom so that would be a dealbreaker for them.  Likewise, if I AM fucking, I'd prefer not to use a condom but I might, if I was really into a guy and those were the rules.

I usually love swallowing cum but some guys taste nasty, for various reasons so I'll pull up at the end.  And there was one guy whom I swear I was allergic to.  I had a huge crush on him but everytime I swallowed him I had violent diarrhea not long after.  I know that sounds crazy and maybe it was a coincidence (we didn't last long so sample size was limited.)  Had we lasted, I would have kept swallowing him but would have planned not to venture too far those evenings 🙂

Edited March 14 by phillygwm

[NWUSHorny]

After nearly 2 decades in the PNW, I just give up. Even at cruising spots and fuck venues a majority of guys have so many hangups and inhibitions that it is almost impossible to find someone who is into anything I recognize as sex. The worst are guys that are determined to convince you that they know a 1001 ways to have the best sex ever without any kind of penile penetration. I simply tell them that the only way I can have satisfying sex is that at least one of us will get fucked in the ass, and if they aren't interested move on so we can both find what we are looking for.

[WorkJack]

  On 3/15/2025 at 7:42 PM, NWUSHorny said:

....I simply tell them that the only way I can have satisfying sex is that at least one of us will get fucked in the ass...

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I agree. If I am on the apps, and they ask what are you into, I message: Taking or giving a cum load in the ass. It is a binary for me. They either cut off or reply to meet right away.

[NWUSHorny]

  On 3/15/2025 at 7:49 PM, WorkJack said:

I agree. If I am on the apps, and they ask what are you into, I message: Taking or giving a cum load in the ass. It is a binary for me. They either cut off or reply to meet right away.

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We have an abundance of gay romantic asexuals here, unfortunately quite a few of them are convinced everyone loves to cuddle and not have sex, if they would just try it.

[jd13]

I think everyone has their boundaries in one way or another. For me, real sex will involve penetration: your cock is either going down my throat or in my ass, or both. I will do my best to make you cum. There will not be condoms involved.

You could argue that these are my boundaries. Certainly I don't much like the whole 'Raw Is Law' thing. Raw is definitely Law for me, but I wouldn't dream of imposing that on anyone else, or denigrating someone else for using condoms. They just won't be fucking me, is all. We all have our boundaries.

My partner is on the asexual scale but he loves body contact. We don't have sex (he doesn't want to catch anything from me ha ha - his joke, not mine, but one I agree with!) but what we do on the body contact side of things is wonderful and emotional. So, with the man I love, all those 'real sex' demands go out the window. So much for my own alleged boundaries therefore!

[PozBearWI]

Similar here JD.  But condoms are not going on me or in me.  I am happy to deepthroat a guy to bliss if he is a hard no on raw anal.  

[ktopper]

  On 3/15/2025 at 7:42 PM, NWUSHorny said:

After nearly 2 decades in the PNW, I just give up. Even at cruising spots and fuck venues a majority of guys have so many hangups and inhibitions that it is almost impossible to find someone who is into anything I recognize as sex. The worst are guys that are determined to convince you that they know a 1001 ways to have the best sex ever without any kind of penile penetration. I simply tell them that the only way I can have satisfying sex is that at least one of us will get fucked in the ass, and if they aren't interested move on so we can both find what we are looking for.

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Damn! I would think the PNW would be more open about good sex (which by my definition means gay sex). I live kind of on the fringes of the PNW in a more rural and working class area. These ol' country boys like to fuck and/or get fucked. Many of them are married to women but still like gay sex, which also describes me except for me gay sex isn't something additional to straight sex, it is my preference. Maybe being in hetero relationships causes them to just naturally think of sex as penetrative.

You have mentioned this before about the PNW. I believe you but find it really puzzling. I haven't noticed it here but then I'm an older guy with a well established circle of guys to play with. I'm old enough to remember when the idea of two guys fucking was considered weird, now it has came full circle and the idea of two gay dudes NOT fucking seems weird.

Edited March 15 by ktopper

[Poz50something]

  On 3/15/2025 at 8:12 PM, PozBearWI said:

 But condoms are not going on me or in me.  I am happy to deepthroat a guy to bliss if he is a hard no on raw anal.  

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HIV bug chasing I understand. There’s a fatalistic or inevitable quality to wanting to wanting to be  HIV Poz.  Is there the same inevitability with other stds? They can largely be prevented by Doxyprep and cured with a strong dosage  of antibiotics. 

[PozBearWI]

@Poz50something part of what makes HIV so interesting to me is that it is wicked difficult to get infected.  Many of the stories make it seem "easy peasy", but for most these days it just doesn't happen.  And from a social health perspective we might celebrate this.  

[Poz50something]

  On 3/16/2025 at 5:11 PM, PozBearWI said:

@Poz50something part of what makes HIV so interesting to me is that it is wicked difficult to get infected.  Many of the stories make it seem "easy peasy", but for most these days it just doesn't happen.  And from a social health perspective we might celebrate this.  

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I  get the feeling it’s mighty difficult because so many people are on tritherapy or PREP. The one time I was detectable was because the blood tests now are so incredibly advanced in counting viral copies. It went from 50 or less copies to 20 or less per millilitre. Mine was about 40 copies….but that would have been considered undetectable in the past. But, it’s the so-called negative guys who haven’t tested in a while. I also tend to choose Poz guys as fuck buds…so, serosorting actually works. 

[PozBearWI]

It is largely the "neg guys", in particular those who are towards the end of their window period.  Back when we had tests but no treatment, there were considerably more in that window period.  Or those whose HIV had advanced; which back then was more often than not "when" we found out we were poz.  

PrEP, ARVs though have done a hell of a lot to reduce infections.  I think ARVs mostly.  TasP preceded PrEP.  With HIV often coming back from the edge of AIDS back to better functioning immune systems; new infections are reduced.  It also seems that guys aren't fucking as much as they used to.  Or perhaps that's my own aging reducing my options....

[YourNoLimitsBottom]

I keep in mind that I have my likes and dislikes, and I can't begrudge someone else's preferences. I try to talk to a guy to see what he is into and comfortable with so I know what bare minimum I can reasonably expect from an encounter. If there is enough common ground I'll meet. If not, we shake hands (physically or an online version of it) and move on. I've met guys in neutral places for drinks and we have decided we weren't a match and parted amicably. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE sex, but if we both know the encounter is going to be awkward with not enough common likes, it isn't worth it.

[yoursinmine]

I guess I just underestimated how difficult it would be to hook up. I just want to meet a guy who wants to drop a load without endlessly talking or flaking.