Attraction vs Fetishism: Racial Preference

[KindaBasic]

I have bottomed for and topped just about every race imaginable over the decades, and imagine I will continue to do so. That said, when it comes to being a bottom, over the past few years I gravitated more towards strong willed (and thick dick) Black and Latin men. I mentioned this to a friend the recently, who in turn accused me of “racially fetishizing”. I argued it was attraction, but he said it was the same thing. So I suppose this is a bit of a philosophical question, but is there a difference between attraction and fetishism?

[ffabbian]

Attraction is polar opposite to fetishism.   If your  attraction to black and Latin men is mutually received I  doubt that you're fetishising them.

[Hungryforbbc]

exactly. I have spent my life in service of black kings and they are as into it as I am. I have asked many times and always get the same answer: “shut up and suck this dick” lol

[KindaBasic]

On 4/8/2025 at 11:45 PM, Hungryforbbc said:

exactly. I have spent my life in service of black kings and they are as into it as I am. I have asked many times and always get the same answer: “shut up and suck this dick” lol

I recently got together with a BBC/BWC couple. Both were pretty aggressive and verbal. It was a turn on for sure. 

[YourNoLimitsBottom]

I have a friend who is a black top and I am attracted to him because he checks a lot of key boxes: older, taller, heavier, gay, and is a lot of fun outside of the bedroom. And I will also admit that I fetishize the contrast in our skin when his hands are on me. Just one more thing that gets my engine running.

He hasn't brought it up and I don't push, but I'd love a video from his POV when he is fucking me doggy and his fingers are gripping my hips. Just a little something to get me through those lonely nights.

[SugarCaneDaddy]

Black latino here. If you wanna fuck someone based on their race but not willing to date their kind its fetishization and if you keep bringing up that you're attracted to them because of their race its also fetishization

[norefusal]

2 hours ago, SugarCaneDaddy said:

Black latino here. If you wanna fuck someone based on their race but not willing to date their kind its fetishization and if you keep bringing up that you're attracted to them because of their race its also fetishization

this!

i've both slept with and dated men of all races. but here's the rub: 

i live in usa which per last census is roughly 51%white, 33%latino,11%black, 3%asian and 2%other. you would think that scewers the odds. i have both dated and slept w more white guys than anyone but that's just because there's so many more of them.

but, just by chance: i've had several LTRs w asians despite not having very many nsa hook ups w them. but i rarely go on dates w black and latin guys despite having nsa hookups w countless ones. in my experience they tend to be more on the DL, str8 or "str8" etc. and that's not me profiling them, that's just the facts of the stats how they coincidentally worked out for me. i know several who are out and date, just not me 😜

considering how many of my recent hook ups verbalize how they're into me being a thick-bottomed daddy, you could argue i'm the one being fetishized lol but i'm not complaining. being stereotyped is also getting me laid on the reg, so.... 

[NWUSHorny]

I've fucked and been fucked by men of all races. I don't really have a fetish or attraction for any race in particular for a one time hookup. I do have a strong attraction for versatile, tall, hung black men who are into flip fucking and have had more fuck buds that met that description than any other, going back to the 2nd guy to ever shove his pole up my hole and 1st guy I ever flipped with.

[BB4fking]

I too have fucked or been fucked of guys of all manner of ethnicities and will continue to do so. However, I noticed a few years ago that I had, quite unconsciously at that time, been gravitating towards Asian men. Since I realised that I have tended to consciously seek out Asian guys on the apps and  by the choice of some of the cities I visit for sex. I still fuck with other guys whenever the opportunity arises but I always gravitate back. Some of my Asian friends have nicknames for me like rice queen or say that I have yellow fever. All that said I still fantasise about sex with black guys and Latino guys but I have very little opportunity. I don’t see my preference as a fetish and I don’t mention it on app profiles as I wouldn’t want guys to see it as either exclusionary or a fetish. I might add that Asian is a very broad category and there are lots of variations between ethnicities, regions and countries and I enjoy the diversity enormously.

[phillygwm]

A fetish is objectifying.   if you were ONLY interested in someone because of [whatever] to the exclusion of other traits, including personality, for instance.   They're not a person, they're a giant black dildo, in the case you describe.  And you might have a whole unique "scene" built around those guys, like race play in this case.

Personally, I tend toward Latino guys but I can be attracted to others (and obviously I find some Latino guys unattractive.)  I don't consider that a fetish. But if I sought out uncut guys solely because they were uncut, that IS a fetish.

But ultimately, it's semantics.  I know "fetish" has negative connotations but if you're with someone consensually and you both enjoy it, does it really matter?

Edited 12 hours ago by phillygwm

[Poz50something]

On 5/7/2025 at 11:28 AM, SugarCaneDaddy said:

Black latino here. If you wanna fuck someone based on their race but not willing to date their kind its fetishization and if you keep bringing up that you're attracted to them because of their race its also fetishization

My take on this is as follows: I have, despite my very Zen appearance, a choking/breathplay thing that I do to older guys who love feeling my thumbs pressing on their carotid and my fingers grabbing the upper neck. It makes me hard, and choking keeps me steel hard, shoving my cock into a warm hole as I strangle my bareback bottom. I get aggressive as a top. I find I don’t precum as much if I am not engaging in breathplay.   THAT is a FETISH.

I f you gain an understanding of your partner in all his facets,  what are the issues in the community he inhabits, you get to know his culture, THAT is APPRECIATION. You get to know the foods his mother makes, and you learn his language. It goes beyond dick size and sperm volume. Yea, it’s difficult to find minority partners in rural areas.