Finding guys online for relationship

[ellentonboy]

It's a shame, because the situation has gotten worse over the years. When someone asks within the first several messages if I could help with gas money, I shut it down. I would never ask a stranger for anything like that.  It's an immediate red flag.  I do think these guys are somewhat professional, they think they're smarter than someone in their 40s or 50s (or older) which is usually not the case.

I hate to be cynical, but I find it surprising that someone who claims to be about 2 miles from my place would need gas money.  When they become frustrated after I say  "Well I can come pick you up, I can be there in 10 minutes" you know they probably aren't even in your state.

I just move along, I have been pleasantly surprised, but I was not anywhere near as skeptical as I am today, say ten years ago.  I'm willing to give a guy a chance - but only just so much.   When the conversation becomes financial in nature, I say "no thanks" and that's it.

It's really sad that it has come to this....
 

[norefusal]

spam and scammers are annoying but i find them relatively easy to spot and avoid. 

im more triggered by how unapologetically rude some regular folk are. there will be guys who are openly racist, ageist, body shammers, etc and then try to hide behind the excuse of "it's how all gays are, you should be used to it" 

um, no. it's just how YOU are. 

in a lot of ways, going online helped exposed the hidden ugly underbelly of the community - grindr is like a 60 Minutes  expose 😜

 

[RawNYTop]

22 hours ago, tallslenderguy said:

Hey thanks, It had an AI vibe to me, how did you know it was Chat GPT?  

I use Chat GPT everyday. It's a life saver when you have a ton of work emails and you want to send them out clear, with proper grammar and flow. (I'm not the best writer).

I use it for a variety of reasons. Best invention ever.

[Leather69]

As norefusal said above. I automatically ignore all profiles on all sites with just one photo. Is it them.. probably no .. more than 75% it is.

Just be careful..

 

[SugarCaneDaddy]

Sorry that happened to you. I'm also looking for something more than just a hookup nowadays and even though I did find some good online buddies (haven't met none yet cause of visa problems) also almost get scammed twice. The funny thing about scammers is that they always lack gayness. Iykyk

[tallslenderguy]

23 hours ago, norefusal said:

spam and scammers are annoying but i find them relatively easy to spot and avoid. 

im more triggered by how unapologetically rude some regular folk are. there will be guys who are openly racist, ageist, body shammers, etc and then try to hide behind the excuse of "it's how all gays are, you should be used to it" 

um, no. it's just how YOU are. 

in a lot of ways, going online helped exposed the hidden ugly underbelly of the community - grindr is like a 60 Minutes  expose 😜

 

For better or worse, i suffer from extreme optimism and am forever giving people the benefit of the doubt. i want to believe people are basically good and most only inadvertently evil. Cognitively, i know better... especially when i comes to scammers, eh? They're making a focused effort to exploit a persons intimate needs/desires.  Really, i feel i've gotten pretty good a spotting scammers too. They all seem to work off the same script, which if many are using AI is pretty accurate, eh?  Anymore, i'm naturally suspicious of anyone i meet online.

Though discussion forums like BZ are different because you do get to know regular contributors. i wish there were gay meeting sites that had discussion forums like BZ (not talking the cursed chat rooms that are often more cacophony than intelligent, in depth exchange between people.