The psychology of erections

[tallslenderguy]

i've always identified as a "total bottom" when it comes to sex with guys.  i was married to a woman for much of my life and had to play the top role in that relationship, and that pretty much solidified my bottom identity for me. 

The last 5 years i've had a FB who started out Total Top, but is turning out to be more versatile this last year or so. Started with him sucking me, then morphed to me eating his ass, and more and more recently, him wanting to get fucked by me. He's a young Latino muscle guy, say's He's been lifting since He was 12, and it shows. He identifies as Bi, but i don't think he has had a girlfriend for quite some time now, maybe 2 years? He breeds me 3-4 times a week, and i'm pretty sure i'm the only guy He has sex with. Which surprises me. He's only 27 and i'd think He'd want to explore more? I've even encouraged him to do so when he started wanting me to fuck him. But he just sort of glazes over when i say those things, even though he has bragged in the past about the women he fucks, for some reason, he's not that way with guys? 

So, i like this guy, even love him in a sense.  We have little in common except our mutual sexual desire for each other, which has never wavered for either of us... another surprise. i've kind of broken a code i have by fucking him, but since it's just FB relationship, somehow it's 'okay' with me to do something i'm not particularly interested in simply because it brings him pleasure.  Relationally, i don't think that is sustainable, but somehow it works so far. I should add, i just fuck him, i don't come in him, and our sex always ends with Him breeding me, i probably have 1000 of His orgasm's in me. 

Here's the thing though, getting it up for him.  my equipment works fine. i get hard as a rock when a Top shows desire to penetrate and breed me. Show interest in my penis? Nada. Totally flaccid. But His pleasure turns me  on, so when i'm giving Him oral and He is so expressive, i get hard. The few times i have penetrated and fucked him, i managed to psych myself into it enough to penetrate and fuck a bit, but my erection didn't last. 

Several years back, i bought some azithromycin from India and they sent me a free sample of sildenafil (Viagra) along with it. i've had it for probable 8 years and never did anything with it, but popped a half pill (50mg) prior to Him coming over and got the magical erection that sustained. 

i'm curious what other guys experience is like? Not sure if i'm just getting a placebo effect since my psychology hasn't really changed.  It seems the only way i can give him what he wants though, and i've done it 4 times now, and can go as long as He wants (usually about 20-30 minutes).  It feels sort of mechanical to me, but the sounds and comments he makes... well, it sort of appeals to the sub side of my personality to give him pleasure. 

[RobertBottomSlut]

I struggled for years with a wife not getting hard and trying to create a fantasy of men fucking me while I tried. But the minute I even pass by a bathhouse I would be busting out of my zipper. 
Even viagra doesn’t do the trick if I’m with a woman, because I’m just not turned on (unless watching some other guy fuck her).