Coming to Terms with his Desire

[nppf69]

Doug's fingers hovered over the keyboard, his eyes locked on the screen where Jay's profile glowed back at him. He had seen this face before, many times, on a different site—one where the intentions were raw, unfiltered, and dripping with the kind of hunger that made Doug's stomach tighten. But that was the other Jay, the one with the biohazard tattoo above his cock, the versatile top who didn't shy away from the words "poz undetectable" or "bareback." This Jay, the one on the dating site, was softer somehow, though the silver hair and beard were the same, and the confident smirk played at the edges of his lips in just the same way.

Doug exhaled slowly, his fingers finally moving. You're thinking of trying dating again? he typed, then deleted it. Too eager. He tried again. I noticed you're open to whatever. That's... refreshing. He hit send before he could second-guess himself.

The reply came faster than he expected. Open to whatever is putting it mildly. But yes, dating. Maybe. If the right person asks.

Doug's pulse quickened. He could practically hear Jay's voice, low and rough, like gravel under boots. He typed back, Dinner? Tomorrow? and then added, Somewhere quiet.

Jay's response was immediate. Perfect. There's a place on 9th. Small, dim lighting. Good wine.

Doug's cock twitched in his jeans at the thought of that voice murmuring over a glass of red wine. He sent the address of the restaurant and the time, then leaned back in his chair, already imagining the way Jay's beard would brush against his clean-shaven jaw when they kissed.

The restaurant was exactly as Jay had described it—small, intimate, with low lighting that cast shadows across the tables. Doug arrived early, his hands wrapped around a glass of water he didn't really want. He had dressed carefully, in dark jeans and a fitted black shirt that clung to his lean frame, the fabric just tight enough to hint at the definition beneath. He wanted Jay to look at him and see something worth touching.

When Jay walked in, Doug's breath caught. The man was even more striking in person—tall, broad-shouldered, his silver hair catching the dim light. His beard was neatly trimmed, and his eyes, sharp and assessing, locked onto Doug immediately. Doug stood, his chair scraping slightly against the floor, and Jay's lips curved into a smile as he approached.

"You're taller than I expected," Jay said, his voice a low rumble as he extended a hand.

Doug took it, the grip firm and warm. "You're not."

Jay's laugh was rich, deep. "Fair enough." He sat down, his movements fluid, confident. The waiter appeared, and Jay ordered a bottle of wine without glancing at the menu, his fingers tapping lightly against the table as he spoke.

Doug watched those fingers, imagining them tracing down his chest, lower, wrapping around his cock. He shifted slightly in his seat, his jeans suddenly too tight.

"So," Jay said, leaning back as the waiter poured the wine. "Tell me something about you that isn't on your profile."

Doug swallowed, his throat dry. "I run. Marathons, usually."

Jay's eyes flicked over him, appreciative. "Explains the body."

Doug felt his face heat. "And you?"

"I lift." Jay's hand moved to his glass, his bicep flexing slightly beneath the sleeve of his shirt. "And I'm good with my hands."

Doug's cock throbbed at the innuendo, at the way Jay's gaze held his, unflinching. He took a sip of wine, the liquid burning slightly as it went down. "I bet you are."

Jay's smile widened, and he reached across the table, his fingers brushing against Doug's wrist. "I think we're going to get along just fine."

The conversation flowed easier after that, though Doug's skin remained warm everywhere Jay's eyes lingered. They talked about books, about travel, about the way the city had changed over the years. Jay's phone buzzed a few times, and each time he glanced at it, his fingers moving quickly over the screen as he responded. Doug tried not to let it bother him, but the third time it happened, his jaw tightened slightly.

Jay noticed, of course. He set his phone down, his expression apologetic. "Work. I'm sorry."

Doug waved a hand. "It's fine."

Jay's fingers curled around his wrist again, his thumb rubbing lightly over Doug's pulse point. "It's not. But I promise, I'm here now."

Doug's irritation melted under the touch, under the intensity of Jay's gaze. "Okay."

Jay's smile returned, slow and deliberate. "Good boy."

The words sent a shiver down Doug's spine, his cock hardening further. He wanted to be good for Jay. He wanted to be anything Jay wanted.

The walk back to Jay's place was quiet, the night air cool against Doug's heated skin. They walked close, their shoulders brushing, and every so often, Jay's hand would graze against his, sending sparks through his body.

When they reached Jay's building, Doug turned to face him, his heart pounding. Jay stepped into his space, his hand cupping Doug's jaw, his thumb brushing over his bottom lip.

"You're beautiful," Jay murmured, his voice rough.

Doug's lips parted slightly, his breath hitching as Jay's thumb pressed lightly against them. "I want—"

"I know what you want," Jay interrupted, his voice low, commanding. He leaned in, his lips capturing Doug's in a kiss that was slow at first, then deepened, his tongue sliding against Doug's, tasting him.

Doug moaned softly, his hands gripping Jay's hips, pulling him closer. Jay's hand slid down, his fingers digging into Doug's ass, squeezing hard enough to make him gasp.

Jay pulled back slightly, his breath warm against Doug's lips. "I want to see you again."

Doug's fingers flexed against Jay's hips, his body aching for more. "When?"

"Soon." Jay's lips quirked, and he leaned in again.

Doug's cock jerked, his body trembling slightly at the promise. "Yes, please."

Jay chuckled, low and dark, and stepped back, his hand lingering on Doug's ass for a moment longer before he turned and walked into his building, leaving Doug standing there, his lips swollen and his cock painfully hard, already counting the hours until he could see Jay again.

[Gaybttmguy]

Great start.  Looking forward to next installment. 

[cman54]

Very good start. 

[kitpig]

Great start - I hope this desire turns utterly dark and dastardly 😉

[Fulltim]

Mmmmm very nice, got my cock hard reading this. Ready for the next chapter. 

[nppf69]

The night air was cool as Doug walked with Jay towards his apartment his heart pounding with anticipation. He had been looking forward to this moment since their last encounter. Now after another very pleasant dinner date (less interrupted by texting than before), Doug was hoping this time he would be invited inside, the memory of their last kiss still fresh on his lips. 

"Hey, come on in," Jay said, stepping aside to let Doug enter the building. He then led Doug by the hand into the elevator and up to his floor. He opened the door to to his apartment and ushered Doug inside.

The apartment was dimly lit, the soft glow of the lamps casting a warm light over the room. The scent of Jay's musk was intoxicating. Like Doug, Jay obviously did not use any scent besides his own. Doug felt a shiver run through him as he took in the familiar yet exciting surroundings.

"Thanks for having me over," Doug said, his voice slightly trembling. He could feel the tension building between them, the unspoken desire hanging heavy in the air.

Jay poured them both a drink, the clink of the glasses breaking the silence. They chatted for a while. "So, here we are" he said, handing Doug a glass.

They chatted for a while about this and that, after which Jay asked how the week since they met had been for him. "It was good," Doug replied, taking a sip. The alcohol burned slightly, grounding him. "Just been thinking about our last date a lot."

Jay smirked, his eyes darkening with desire. "Oh yeah? What about it?"

Doug felt his cheeks heat up, but he held Jay's gaze. "Just how much I enjoyed it. How much I enjoyed... you."

Jay's smirk widened, and he took a step closer to Doug. "I enjoyed you too, Doug. A lot." He reached out, his fingers brushing against Doug's cheek. "I think we both know where this is headed, don't we?"

Doug nodded, his breath hitching as Jay's fingers trailed down his neck, sending a jolt of electricity through him. "Yeah, I think we do."

Jay's expression softened, and he took a deep breath. "Before we do, there's something you should know. I'm HIV positive."

Doug's heart skipped a beat, but he nodded, understanding the weight of Jay's words. "I'm not, but it's cool with me that you are."

Jay's eyes searched Doug's, looking for any hint of hesitation or fear. Finding none, he smiled softly. "Okay then..."

Doug leaned in, his lips meeting Jay's in a soft, tender kiss. It was a promise, a seal of their mutual understanding and desire. Jay responded eagerly, his hands tangling in Doug's hair as he deepened the kiss. Doug moaned softly, his body pressing against Jay's, feeling the hard planes of his muscles.

Jay pulled back slightly, his breath ragged. "Let's take this to the bedroom," he said, his voice husky with desire.

Doug nodded, his body throbbing with need. He followed Jay into the bedroom, the anticipation building with each step. The room was bathed in soft light, the bed inviting and promising pleasure. Jay turned to Doug, his eyes dark with lust. He reached out, his fingers deftly unbuttoning Doug's shirt, revealing the lean muscles underneath.

Doug's hands trembled slightly as he reached for Jay's shirt, pulling it over his head. His breath caught in his throat as he saw the biohazard tattoo under Jay's navel, a symbol of his status and his openness about it. It was a turn-on, a testament to Jay's confidence and comfort in his own skin.

Jay smirked, noticing Doug's gaze. He chuckled, his hands moving to Doug's pants, unbuttoning them and pushing them down. Doug stepped out of them, his cock already hard and straining against his underwear. Jay hooked his fingers into the waistband, pulling them down as well, freeing Doug's cock. It sprang out, thick and long, the tip already glistening with pre-cum.

Jay's eyes darkened with desire, and he dropped to his knees, his lips wrapping around the head of Doug's cock. Doug gasped, his fingers tangling in Jay's silver hair as he was enveloped in the warm, wet heat of Jay's mouth. Jay's tongue swirled around the tip, teasing and tasting, before he took more of Doug's length into his mouth.

Doug moaned, his hips bucking slightly as Jay's mouth worked magic on his cock. He could feel the pleasure building, the tension coiling in his stomach. But Jay pulled back, his lips leaving Doug's cock with a soft pop.

"I want to see your ass," Jay said, his voice rough with desire. He stood up, his fingers tracing down Doug's chest, his stomach, before hooking into the waistband of his underwear and pulling them all the way down.

Doug stepped out of them, his ass bare and exposed to Jay's hungry gaze. Jay's fingers traced the curve of Doug's ass, teasing and tantalizing. He leaned in, his tongue swiping over Doug's hole, making him gasp and shudder.

Jay chuckled, the vibration sending a jolt of pleasure through Doug. He reached into his nightstand, pulling out a small vial of poppers. "Here, take this," he said, handing it to Doug.

Doug took it, his fingers trembling slightly as he opened it and took a deep inhale. The rush hit him almost immediately, his body relaxing, his hole loosening. Jay's tongue swiped over his hole again, and Doug moaned, the pleasure intensified by the poppers.

Jay stood up, his fingers tracing down Doug's back, making him shiver. He leaned in, his lips brushing against Doug's ear. "I'm going to fuck you now," he whispered, his voice rough with desire.

Doug nodded, his body throbbing with need. He turned around, his hands gripping the edge of the bed as he bent over, presenting his ass to Jay. He heard the sounds of Jay applying lube to his cock and then to Doug's hole. He could feel Jay's cock, hard and thick, pressing against his hole. He was grateful there had been no discussion of condoms. Jay pushed in slowly, his cock stretching Doug's hole, filling him inch by inch.

Doug gasped, the pleasure and pain mixing into a heady sensation. Jay's cock was thick, stretching him in a way that made his toes curl. Jay's hands gripped Doug's hips, pulling him back as he pushed in, his cock sliding deeper into Doug's ass.

"Fuck, you feel amazing," Jay groaned, his hips starting to move, his cock sliding in and out of Doug's ass. Doug moaned, the pleasure building with each thrust. He could feel Jay's cock hitting that sweet spot inside him, sending sparks of pleasure through his body.

Jay moved Doug through a number of different positions. While on his back, Doug couldn't help staring at Jay's biohazard tat as he thrust into him. Doug had been fucked by poz undetectable guys before, in fact that's mostly who he got fucked by these days however infrequently that was. But he hadn't been fucked by a guy with an overt poz themed tat. It definitely added to the arousal.

Their ultimate position was back to doggie style. Jay's hands gripped Doug's hips tighter, his thrusts becoming harder, faster. Doug could feel the pleasure building, his cock throbbing with need. He reached down, his fingers wrapping around his cock, stroking it in time with Jay's thrusts.

Jay's breath was ragged, his hips slamming into Doug's ass, his cock pounding into him. Doug could feel the pleasure coiling tighter, his body trembling with the need to cum. Jay's cock was hitting that sweet spot over and over, sending waves of pleasure through him.

Jay's hands gripped Doug's hips, pulling him back as he pushed in, his cock head sliding into Doug's second ring. Doug gasped, Jay's cock was stretching him in a way that made him see stars, the pleasure building to a crescendo.

Jay's breath was ragged, his hips slamming into Doug's ass, his cock pounding into him. "I'm getting close," he groaned, his voice rough with desire. "Where should I cum?"

Doug moaned, his body trembling with need. "Inside me, if you want" he gasped, his fingers stroking his cock faster, his body throbbing with need.

"Oh, I want" Jay groaned, his hips slamming into Doug's ass, his cock pounding into him. Doug could feel Jay's cock throbbing, his cum filling him, sending waves of pleasure through him. 

Jay's breath was ragged, his hips slowing as he emptied himself into Doug's ass. Doug then started jerking himself, turned on by the raw cock still in his hole and the cum it had deposited there. He gasped, his own cum spilling over his fingers, his body shuddering with the force of his orgasm.

Jay pulled out slowly, his cum dripping from Doug's hole. 

Jay's fingers traced down Doug's chest, his stomach. "That was hot," he said, his voice soft and tender.

Doug nodded, his body still trembling with the aftershocks of his orgasm. "Yeah, it was."

They lay there in silence, the weight of what they had just shared hanging heavy in the air. Doug could feel Jay's cum dripping from his ass, a reminder of their intimate connection. He felt a sense of contentment, a sense of rightness that he hadn't felt in a long time.

But as he lay there, he couldn't help but feel a sense of anticipation, a sense of longing for more. 

He turned to Jay, his eyes soft and tender. "I should probably get going," he said, his voice reluctant.

Jay nodded, his fingers tracing down Doug's cheek. "Yeah, I guess so."

Doug stood up, his body still trembling slightly as he pulled on his clothes. He turned to Jay, his eyes soft and tender. "Thank you for tonight," he said, his voice sincere.

Jay smiled, his eyes warm and affectionate. "Thank you," he replied, his voice soft and tender.

Doug walked out of the apartment, his body still trembling with the aftershocks of his orgasm. He could feel the night air on his skin, the cool breeze sending shivers down his spine. He made his way home, walked into his apartment and collapsed onto his bed, his body still trembling, his body spent and satisfied, but his mind filled with thoughts of Jay and particularly sex with Jay.

[floodedslut]

he needs more 🥵

[cman54]

Yes he definitely needs more. Needs to stay with Jay a few days and loaded many times.

[kitpig]

WOW - I agree, they need many many more times!

[nppf69]

Jay stood in front of the bathroom mirror, the morning light filtering through the half-drawn blinds, casting a soft glow on his bare chest. He had spent the night at Doug's place, and the intimacy they had shared still lingered in his mind. He needed to freshen up, but first, he wanted to brush his teeth. He opened the medicine cabinet, the small mirror on the inside reflecting his face back at him. As he rummaged through the shelves, he noticed the usual array of toiletries: toothpaste, mouthwash, painkillers. But something was missing. There was no PrEP.

Jay frowned slightly, his mind racing. Seing its absence here, in Doug's bathroom, sent a ripple of curiosity through him. He closed the cabinet and brushed his teeth, the minty foam filling his mouth as he tried to push the thought aside. But it nagged at him, a small seed of intrigue that he couldn't ignore.

He found Doug in the kitchen, the scent of freshly brewed coffee filling the air. Doug was leaning against the counter, a mug in his hand, his hair still tousled from sleep. They were both still naked. He looked up as Jay entered, a small smile playing on his lips. "Morning," Doug said, his voice rough with sleep.

"Morning," Jay replied, leaning against the doorway. He hesitated for a moment, then decided to ask. "Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Sure ..." Doug said.

After a short pause, Jay went on, "I was looking for a toothbrush and noticed you don't have any PrEP in your medicine cabinet. Are you not on it?"

Doug took a sip of his coffee, adrenaline surging through his body. "No, I'm not."

Jay raised an eyebrow, his curiosity piqued. "Are you chasing?" He asked, his tone casual, non-judgmental. "I mean, no judgment. That's how I converted."

Doug shook his head, setting his mug down on the counter. "No, it's not that. I just... I don't know. Rationally I know I should. But it's never felt right. I think because it's not 100% effective. I'm going to get fucked bare, I'm driven to that. And so there would still be the anxiety. If I did convert, I'd be taking pills anyway. It doesn't feel worth it to me for the lower risk, I guess."

Jay studied Doug for a moment, his eyes tracing the lines of Doug's body. He stared visibly at Doug's full erection, the way his breath hitched just a little. "But you're turned on by the chance of converting...." Jay said, his voice low, a hint of a smirk playing on his lips.

Doug saw that Jay was judging him by his boner. His gaze dropped to Jay's crotch, his own breath hitching as he noticed Jay was hard too. "By that standard, it would seem to turn you on too," Doug countered, his voice barely above a whisper.

Jay chuckled, stepping closer to Doug. "Erections are a great lie detector for certain things. Okay, I'll go first. Yeah, I have a POZ fetish," he admitted, his voice a low growl. "It's why I chased. It still turns me on. I love fucking POZ sluts. I love getting POZ cum fucked into my hole from time to time. And especially I'm turned on by the thought of shooting my virus into a willing unprotected hole. Now that I know I've been shooting my cum in your unprotected ass,  it's been driving me wild." He reached out, his hand brushing against Doug's, the touch sending a spark between them. 

"But you're undetectable," Doug said.

"How would you know?" Jay cocked an eybrow. "We've never discussed it."

Doug paused and said, "from looking at your BBRTS profile".

Jay smirked, feeling he was getting to know a lot more about what made Doug tick. "Not everything guys put on there is accurate you know. But yeah, I am. Still, it doesn't mean there's no virus in my cum. Just less than an infectious dose. And so it still turns me on knowing I've shot some of my HIV in your unprotected hole. So now you know why I'm hard. Your turn."

Doug hesitated, his fingers curling around his mug. "I... I fantasize about it," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "About converting, about being a POZ pig. I fantasize about those things a lot. But I feel ashamed of these fantasies. I fear I could regret acting on them."

Jay's hand cupped Doug's cheek, his thumb brushing against Doug's skin. "You have to do what feels right to you," he said softly. "But for what it's worth I don't think you would regret it. I think you'd love it. For sure there are downsides of being POZ. And for sure there are guys who regret converting, but in my experience those guys either never wanted it and just got carried away or wanted it but had some unrealistic fantasy about what it would be like. But I've never come across anyone who regretted converting who had a fetish for the real thing. Like me. And I think like you."

He leaned in, his lips brushing against Doug's ear. "Anyway we have these erections. It seems a waste not to do something about them."

Doug shivered, his body responding to Jay's touch, his words. He set his mug down on the counter, his hands gripping the edge as Jay's lips found his neck, kissing, nibbling, sending shivers down his spine. "Fuck," he breathed, his cock straining.

Jay's hands slid down Doug's chest, his fingers tracing the lines of Doug's muscles. He dropped to his knees, his hands gripping Doug's hips, pulling him closer. He could see Doug's cock, hard and ready, and he licked his lips, his own cock throbbing in anticipation.

He took Doug's cock in his hand, stroking it slowly, his thumb brushing against the tip. He looked up at Doug, his eyes dark with desire. "You want this," he said, his voice a low growl. "You want me to fuck you raw, to fill you with my POZ cum."

Doug moaned, his head falling back, his hips bucking into Jay's hand. "Yes," he breathed, his voice barely a whisper. "Fuck, yes."

Jay stood up, his lips crashing against Doug's, his tongue pushing into Doug's mouth, claiming him, possessing him. He spun Doug around, pushing him against the counter, his hands gripping Doug's hips, pulling him back against him. He could feel Doug's ass against his cock, the heat, the need, the desire.

He reached around, his hand gripping Doug's cock, stroking it in time with his own thrusts. "I'm going to fill you with my cum, going to make you mine."

Doug moaned, his body responding to Jay's words, his touch, his cock. He pushed back against Jay, his ass grinding against Jay's cock, the friction sending sparks through him. "Yes," he breathed, his voice barely a whisper. "Fuck, yes. Please, Jay. Please."

Jay's hands gripped Doug's hips, pulling him back against him, his cock sliding between Doug's cheeks, the heat, the need, the desire. He spat on his fingers and on Doug's ass, knowing it was still full of his cum from last night. He reached around, his fingers finding Doug's hole, pushing in, stretching him, preparing him. Doug moaned, his body responding, his hole clenching around Jay's fingers, the sensation sending sparks through him.

Jay's fingers slid out, and he positioned his cock at Doug's entrance, pushing in, the heat, the tightness, the sensation sending sparks through him. He gripped Doug's hips, pulling him back against him, his cock sliding in, filling him, claiming him, possessing him. Doug moaned, his body responding, his hole clenching around Jay's cock, the sensation sending sparks through him.

Jay's thrusts were slow at first, his cock sliding in and out of Doug's hole, the heat, the tightness, the sensation sending sparks through him. He leaned down, his lips finding Doug's neck, kissing, nibbling, sending shivers down his spine. "You're mine," he growled in Doug's ear, his voice low, possessive. "My slut for POZ cum. Mine."

Doug moaned, his body responding to Jay's words, his touch, his cock. He pushed back against Jay, his ass grinding against Jay's cock, the friction sending sparks through him. "Yes," he breathed, his voice barely a whisper. "Fuck, yes. Yours, Jay. Yours."

Jay's thrusts grew harder, faster, his cock sliding in and out of Doug's hole, the heat, the tightness, the sensation sending sparks through him. He gripped Doug's hips, pulling him back against him, his cock sliding in, filling him, claiming him, possessing him. Doug moaned, his body responding, his hole clenching around Jay's cock, the sensation sending sparks through him.

Jay's hand slid around, gripping Doug's cock, stroking it in time with his thrusts. "Cum for me," he growled in Doug's ear, his voice low, possessive. "Cum for me, My slut for POZ cum. Mine."

Doug moaned, his body responding to Jay's words, his touch, his cock. He came with a cry, his cum spilling over Jay's hand, his body shuddering, his hole clenching around Jay's cock. Jay groaned, his own release crashing over him, his cum filling Doug's hole, marking him, claiming him, possessing him.

They stood there for a moment, their breaths ragged, their bodies trembling. Jay pulled out slowly, his cum dripping from Doug's hole, marking him, claiming him, possessing him. He spun Doug around, his lips crashing against Doug's, his tongue pushing into Doug's mouth, claiming him, possessing him.

When they finally pulled apart, Doug's eyes were dark with desire, his body trembling, his hole still clenching, still feeling Jay's cum dripping from him. Jay's eyes were dark with satisfaction, his body trembling, his cock still hard, still ready.

Doug looked at the clock on the wall, his eyes widening. "Fuck, I have to go to work," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

Jay chuckled, his lips brushing against Doug's. "Go," he said, his voice low, possessive. "But remember, you're mine. I've marked you."

Doug shivered, his body responding to Jay's words, his touch, his cock. He pulled away, his body trembling, his hole still clenching, still feeling Jay's cum dripping from him. He grabbed his clothes, dressing quickly, his mind racing, his body still trembling, still feeling Jay's touch, his words, his cum.

As he left the apartment, his mind was a whirlwind of thoughts, of desires, of fears. He could still feel Jay's cum dripping from him, marking him, claiming him, possessing him. He could still hear Jay's words in his ear, his voice low, possessive. "You're mine. I've marked you."

He walked to work, his body trembling, his mind racing, his heart pounding. He didn't know what the future held, what this meant for him, for Jay, for them. But he knew one thing. He wanted more. He wanted Jay. He wanted to be Jay's POZ pig, his slut, his. What he still didn't know was whether he had the guts.