"Side" Status on Profiles

[KindaBasic]

11 hours ago, drscorpio said:

The hookup apps (and the dating ones too) are all about finding someone who wants to do the things you enjoy doing. I don't mind guys who don't do anal having a term to make it clear where they stand. I would rather the sides find one another; that sounds like less frustration for them and for those of us who think fucking is the most important part. 

If one does not already exist, I have little doubt that a side focused site and/or app will soon be a thing. Over the years I have known guys not into anal, so no surprise someone has labeled it. I am curious to how that word ended up being “side”, but only because I find language development interesting. 

[TownTravellerMan]

13 hours ago, Iker80 said:

It's like that, they ask to hug without asking for other things. It's a recent thing for me. I haven't taken a guy up on the idea, I'm not sure what to think about it. But I do think wanting to be hugged can make bigger guys seem better because they fit easier around you. Some I see are gay or bi, others unknown. My only hugging with a known straight guy is my stepbrother. It happened first when we were at the cabin and it was very cold and he was ill. We had clothes on because it was cold, even with the blankets, and we wouldn't hug naked anyway. Sometimes when we're out there and it's cold we still do. He likes it, it just is something that sometimes happens. I know it's nice to feel safe and that's all for him, and that's all I want it to be. I don't think that feeling would happen with a random guy though, but also I think maybe to feel safe is what the guys online want? However, the difference is we know each other properly and I always look after him. So it's different when I hug him vs. a guy you don't know from online. But of course people will have to accept what they can get when they have needs.

Cis is the opposite of trans, it means you're born the gender you are. It actually has no connection with sexuality. I'm a cis man and bi.

Being hugged by a big guy is definitely nice. I think that's pretty common with bears as well i think. A hug can be like a greeting but it can be also be warm and comforting. I thought about it some more a hug can be very sexual. But whether a hug is sexual or not can determine on the two people involved. Example when I get hugged by a man i think is hot my dick gets hard and leaky. And generally so does the man I'm hugging. 

I've discovered recently that some guys will grind their dick against you when they are hard and that's very sexual as well. And this is with clothes on. At the same time though I've hugged females and friends and no hard on or wetspot. But I think that's also a lot to do with the chemistry between people whether that's sexual or not. 

So I kinda did know that. However on an app let's call it grindr for the sake of the example 😭 They let you classify as man or cis man. This is apparently outside of pronouns which i believe is a completely separate thing. 

There is not really a gay/straight indicator on there. Which is kinda weird even for grindr but I'm new to it so maybe I missed it? But looking for it now. There are tags though and bi is one of them. But there isn't a straight tag??

So from what I've seen from several profiles it's almost like straight/bi guys are using cis man to indicate straight i generally see gay guys just put man. Just my experience and in my area doesn't mean the same for everyone. Shows how kinda fucking weird grindr is lol

 

Also reading what someone else posted after cuddling parties is actually insane at the bath house. I can see that being a not bad concept in general but not at a bath house damn. 

[drscorpio]

10 hours ago, KindaBasic said:

If one does not already exist, I have little doubt that a side focused site and/or app will soon be a thing. Over the years I have known guys not into anal, so no surprise someone has labeled it. I am curious to how that word ended up being “side”, but only because I find language development interesting. 

I would suppose it was as opposed to "bottom" or "top." Saying I am not either. 

[ellentonboy]

Wait....I thought "side" meant I was the guy he fucked on the "side", as he had a partner.  His straight neighbor would say   "I saw your "side" coming out of your apartment"  they shared a common wall in their building.  From what I understand straight guys refer to women they sleep with on occasion as "sides" if they are married or in a relationship as well.

I am reading all of these posts, and I am like,  wow I really missed this one.  I thought it was just a term that all the 20 somethings used.  Apparently I was totally wrong, glad I read this thread.  Amazing what you can learn on BZ.

[badubydo]

I’ve put in my profile across all the hookups apps I’m on. I’m there to get fucked. 
 

It’s beyond annoying when a “side” messages me asking to “hook up” there is no “hooking up” if I don’t have a dick in my hole. 
 

I’ve put “no sides” in all my profiles and I’ll still get some who think they are something special and will message me. I look, see in their profile that they are a side and either delete the message or block them. 
 

im not on a hookup app to play games. I’m not on a hookup app to suck some dudes nipples so he can get off

[NWUSHorny]

3 hours ago, ellentonboy said:

Wait....I thought "side" meant I was the guy he fucked on the "side", as he had a partner.  His straight neighbor would say   "I saw your "side" coming out of your apartment"  they shared a common wall in their building.  From what I understand straight guys refer to women they sleep with on occasion as "sides" if they are married or in a relationship as well.

I am reading all of these posts, and I am like,  wow I really missed this one.  I thought it was just a term that all the 20 somethings used.  Apparently I was totally wrong, glad I read this thread.  Amazing what you can learn on BZ.

I like your definition of "side".

I can assure you it isn't just 20 somethings. GenX and Boomers in PDX waited their entire lives to find a descriptor for their sexual position, and now they are arguing about whether it includes guys who do oral or just guys who don't do either oral or anal. Where do fisters fit in? A lot of fisters and toy users, a lot of them are into penetrating or being penetrated as long as no one even touches an "icky dick". 

[SomewhereonNeptune]

12 hours ago, ellentonboy said:

Wait....I thought "side" meant I was the guy he fucked on the "side", as he had a partner.  

I thought it was just a term that all the 20 somethings used.  

Like "Side piece". I thought about that once too, then I consulted I think Urban Dictionary after a brief web search and got corrected. 

And I wish it was only 20-somethings. In my own experience, it gets defined as "a noob who thinks he wants to be with a guy, but dislikes most of the things that guys might do together, including oral and penetration". If it did mean side dish, at least someone's salad might be getting tossed. 🤣

[TownTravellerMan]

So I did kinda dabble with a side the other week. Someone mentioned sides being like side orders or sides comparing them to meals or food is very much right. He was a nice guy and I had fun hanging out with him.

He had a nice cock in the bedroom too. At least he did suck me and I sucked him. But he played with my hole a little bit and that was turning me on. But he stopped then and didn't even want me sucking his load. He just wanted to cum on his belly. So at least he wasn't opposed to oral but it did feel kinda disappointing. I've had other sides kinda message me wanting to get together too but after this I think probably nah. I have one too that just wants to jack off but said they might be open to more.

I just don't see a common standard with side profile guy's I've talked to. Some say no oral, some say no fucking, some say oral only but fucking and I've seen some that say top but side or bottom but side. What? It's just pretty confusing. I guess it's just best to assume with a side if they are being coy or won't tell you directly that they are either 100% oral/Jack off only or a combination of both. 

I would almost also group the married/bi/curious guys as sides even if they don't list they are a side. I've had some of those message me and also coy about stating if they do anal, bottom, or top. That I can sort of give a little more leeway too if they are discreet, just coming out, closeted etc. I'm sure one of these days I'll end up hooking up with a top or verse guy that actually fucks and says side. And then i'll ask them what they meant by their profile.

I would honestly not be surprised if guys who don't know what side means select it for their profile thinking "Oh side that means I like to lay on my side during sex or during fucking"

[Versholefun]

I am very much in favor and somewhat thankful of potential tricks disclosing they are “side only.”   There are so many men out there desirous of fucking a hot ass or taking a monster cock up their well used pussy why would anyone want to waste time talking to someone who does not match what they’re looking for?  

[NWUSHorny]

While labeling themselves as "sides" helps those of us who see fucking as the main event know we aren't going to be compatible. I'm not at all sure it is descriptive enough to help the "sides" themselves find what the are looking for, most of them seem to be into things that range from light to heavy petting, but the number of non-sexual acts that encompasses is astounding. For those of us who aren't "sides" it's pretty simple, we want the sexual encounter with one or both of us getting a cock up the ass and cumming.

[TownTravellerMan]

3 hours ago, Versholefun said:

I am very much in favor and somewhat thankful of potential tricks disclosing they are “side only.”   There are so many men out there desirous of fucking a hot ass or taking a monster cock up their well used pussy why would anyone want to waste time talking to someone who does not match what they’re looking for?  

The side status on profiles is good if they have it on the app or website you are using and let's them only select side. The issue is some websites app let them select top/bottom/oral with side selected as well. Or a side might message you and sort of be coy, misleading or vague about what they are into and if they will fuck or get fucked. 

And you might think just ignore them or don't deal with them. But if they are cute,  sexy or you are attracted to them or anything about their profile it makes a little harder to just dismiss. 

I guess just being more direct in asking and if they don't answer or are vague then I guess it's a no. I don't like the answer of "depends" or "maybe" for fucking anymore.

Saying that I don't like to laundry list every single sexual act or kink I'm into. But I list the more common ones and that it also depends on who I'm with. But I always list my role. And if I'm hooking up with someone it's 100% my intention to either fuck or get fucked or both. Only reason I wouldn't is if the chemistry isn't right and that's yet to happen so far.