random vs ongoing play partners, which satiates the deepest parts of desire

[serviceunityyc]

I suggest we all have a notions of ideal sex play; our desires, kinks and fantasies creating our own hot story to live out.  It seems (to me) very hard to find someone that connects on all those levels and chemistry of what really awakens my base desires.  I mean, any interaction has to be give and take (even D/s has its roles)  but all of the desires have to have mutual interest, or else someone is faking a good time.  Really, its like any other relationship, and how many really good ones are out there.  I often wonder, is that why hook ups are so hot?  There is no pressure of what happens next because your not expecting it - your at your most honest because who cares you will never see that person again,  most selfish and at the same time most willing to do something that you ever will be, because there is no commitment beyond that moment or recriminations to follow

So my ask is, is that all bullshit? Does partnered or occasional partners lead to deeper experiences, or do those bonds alter the base desire on the alter of nurturing a relationship?

 

 

 

[Bearhole]

Both forms of experience — the fleeting, pressure-free hookup and the deep, evolving connection — can be genuinely erotic and real. They just draw from different parts of our sexual selves.

The key is awareness - knowing which experience you’re seeking at a given time, being honest with partners about that, and recognizing that desire is dynamic. For some, deep bonds amplify arousal; for others, novelty or distance does. For most, it’s a shifting balance between the two.

[verbalBTTM]

From my own personal experiences, I would say that a regular partner offers a deeper connection and exploration. The first time with anyone is always a tad awkward, and things can be a little clumsy, especially if your sex goes beyond tab A into slob B. I'm a BDSM and ass play/FF guy, and for that type of play I get into, I need to know my partner well enough to gauge where he is at. Pushing a limit is hot, but it must be done at his pace. Rushing things can be dangerous, especially when my hand is up his ass.

 

Breathing, moans, and muscle twitches are all signals from his body that indicate where he is at and how much more he can take. Paying attention to these subtle cues is crucial for a safe and satisfying experience. For instance, if his breathing becomes shallower or more erratic, it might signal that he's approaching his limit. Similarly, a sudden tension in his muscles or a change in the pitch of his moans can indicate discomfort or a need to slow down.

 

Communication is key, both verbal and non-verbal. Before engaging in any play, it's essential to establish safe words and signals. This ensures that both partners feel comfortable and secure, knowing that they can stop or slow down the action at any time. Trust is built over time, and with a regular partner, you can explore each other's boundaries more freely, knowing that you have a shared understanding and respect for each other's limits.

 

In BDSM and ass play, the art of reading your partner's body language is as important as any technique. It's about being present, attentive, and responsive to his needs and signals. For example, if he pushes his ass back against your hand or finger, it's a clear sign that he wants more. Conversely, if he pulls away or tenses up, it's a signal to ease off or stop altogether.

 

The beauty of a regular partner in this context is the ability to build on previous experiences, to learn from each other, and to grow together. Each session becomes an opportunity to delve deeper, to push boundaries gently, and to discover new heights of pleasure and submission. It's a journey of trust, exploration, and mutual satisfaction, where the connection between partners is as important as the physical acts themselves.

In conclusion, while the initial encounters might be awkward or clumsy, a regular partner provides the foundation for a deeper, more fulfilling exploration of BDSM and Assplay. It's about respect, communication, and a shared journey of discovery, where both partners can safely and confidently push their limits.

[RubberAustria]

Regular for longer sessions and random to unload quickly. I wish I had more regulars but on the other hand it is hot to know that my DNA is spread.

[BBBxCumDumpster]

I decided at the age of 50 that I was done with relationships. I didn't look back. Until now. Kind of. Like many extreme declarations, mine was premature. It was well thought out seemingly, but it didn't take into account, couldn't take into account, future feelings and needs, shifting circumstances.

I still feel exhausted at the thought of a relationship. I still crave sexual variety, getting bored quickly with my regulars. I live alone and have friends, including my ex , someone I was with for 20 years , on and off, mostly on.  We play together, that is, in the same room, but the physical thrill is long dead and buried.  But he knew that when I woke up one morning recently that I would be eager to take this young stud's fat dick and monster load. I still think of his roar as he unloaded in my happy hole. My ex  has delivered shockingly good fucks for me for years now. 

With his effort, and no patience for apps, I still manage to get laid enough, but some days, living alone is tough.  I have regulars that drop by unannounced and they don't do it often enough to annoy me. I'm usually happy to see and accommodate them . The longing to be with someone, a certain someone, a doesn't last long and isn't particularly intense.  I have friends, a dog, my writing, work and a spirituality that make it all difficult to really feel alone.  I also have a voracious appetite for taking loads. My regulars though tend to become more friends than friends with benefits. I'm okay with that. 

I guess I'm saying what I want and need keeps evolving, but it seems that passing up relationships has allowed me a growth I still embrace. I'd love a regular- a regular supply of random loads, but I think right now seems just right. And that's all I can ask for it.  In other words, who the knows what my real preference is? Is it at odds with what I have? With what I actually need? Can't see that far ahead or behind me.

[pighole2breed]

Randoms are great but regulars to explore kinks with and be fully uninhibited are preferred

[allrise]

I like both. Random hookups are more interesting and gives one variety. 
other times you know what you get with a regular FB, but not looking to nurture a relationship.

[serviceunityyc]

very impressed with all the replies , more to think about...

[Slutifly]

16 hours ago, pighole2breed said:

Randoms are great but regulars to explore kinks with and be fully uninhibited are preferred

Agreed.

For me, the ultimate satisfaction lies in the balance between the comfort of regular play partners and the thrilling allure of new, random encounters. I often find myself longing for the days when my regular partners were a constant in my life, but distance and time have separated us. There's something incredibly intimate about the way regular partners understand your deepest desires, as they've been uncovered and explored together over time. The fact that we maintained a connection for so long speaks to the trust, tolerance, and respect we had for each other's needs, always striving to please one another. Not all randoms can become regulars.

On the other hand, the excitement of exploring new, random partners is undeniably seductive. There's a raw energy that comes from the novelty of a fresh encounter, a chance to discover hidden passions and test untried fantasies.

Both experiences feed into different aspects of my desires. It's about embracing the diverse ways in which we can explore and satisfy our most intimate desires. 🐷😈

[Hole4u]

I like both but I really go for the random encounter. There’s a lot of duds but when they hit it’s powerful to one’s body and psyche