Changing sexuality

[SensualM]

So I my 20s I experimented with guys and ultimately wasn’t that drawn to it even though i tried topping and bottoming.  However now I’m my 40s I have been think about bottoming for a man quite a bit. Even playing with chastity some.  Any guys here find their orientation changing later in life?

[Upfourall]

Mine did. I was straight as a stick all through my 20s/early 30s. In my mid-30's I started experimenting with guys, usually when playing with mf couples or mixed groups. By my mid-40s I was fully invested in mm sex, to the point that now in my mid-60s I'm almost exclusively sexual with men. I started as a total top, soon became fully vers, and now I'm bottoming as much or more than I'm topping.

[phillygwm]

A bit.  I'm a Gold Star Gay.  As I've gotten older, I find myself becoming more open to FTMs or even groups involving women (I haven't done either to this point.)  I'm still much more gay than straight.  I doubt I'd ever be interested in a woman 1:1, and even in a group, were I to do it, it would need to be a very specific "type":  Younger and tomboyish, primarily. 

But I've recently had this fantasy involving watching a guy fuck his female partner, no birth control, and me eating her out when he finished, knowing that if I wasn't thorough, she could get pregnant.  It's something of a corollary of another longtime (very gay) turn-on:  Swallowing a guy who has fathered children and hasn't had a vasectomy.  There's just something hot about swallowing someone who I know is potent.  I've even had a fantasy about impregnating someone myself but unless I was 1000% sure she'd abort I'd never take that chance.

[Phallarchist]

On 1/15/2026 at 12:52 AM, SensualM said:

Any guys here find their orientation changing later in life?

No, I'm still exclusively attracted to males. They arouse me and females don't. However, I've never had any objection to vaginas whatsoever. I was always an enthusiastic observer of normal sexual intercourse and over time have come to the firm conclusion that all males should engage in it, without regard to sexual orientation. It's not a change in my patterns of desire, it's the natural consequence of a thoroughgoing devotion to the phallus that arises from my basic sexual orientation.

Similarly, I think what you describe is a change in behaviour. You were clearly attracted to men before, or you would not have tried it with them back then. You are now exploring a potential that you have had all along.

[Phallarchist]

12 hours ago, phillygwm said:

eating her out when he finished

Yes! It's really about him. She is just the lucky object of his lust and the vessel of his seed.

Edited January 18 by Phallarchist

[hungry_hole]

On 1/14/2026 at 6:52 PM, SensualM said:

However now I’m my 40s I have been think about bottoming for a man quite a bit.

Laud Humphreys documents this phenomenon in his landmark book "Tearoom Trade: Impersonal Sex in Public Places" (1970). He calls the "Insertee role" to be the "base role", where most men end with time (Insertee=Bottom, Insertor=Top). He comes to this conclusion after following men at a cruising park in 1965. 

[hungry_hole]

I had a very close friend who was openly gay and also open about liking to get fucked. In the 1970's I don't remember guys calling themselves bottoms, at least he didn't. But after listening to his stories in saunas and back rooms, and talking so openly about how hot it felt to get fucked, that I was a bottom before I had my first fuck. 

 

 

[Olderkinkybiguy]

I feel that most guys, if they are honest with themselves, grow and change over time; even if they never act on the change. I liked guys from an early age. Me being me, felt I needed to make an honest comparison, so I got my first GF when I was 21. After her, I went back to dating/ fucking guys. I did have a few female encounters along the way. I guess you could say I was bi, but on the DL as bi. I met my wife when I was in my early 40’s and had a few FWB over the years. Now, I am ready to switch back to dating men. 
 

the one thing I have learned over the years, and became more comfortable with is I can’t fit into a permanent box/label. The less I stress over defining myself, the easier it is for me to be myself. All I am saying is hookup, love, fuck, or get fucked by whomever makes you feel good and more complete. In the end, it’s really only your opinion about yourself that matters. Life is short, and getting shorter by the day. 

[Spoogebottom]

I love women.  I love cock. I dont find men romantically attractive but enjoy sex with them.  

[Piggyybttmm]

Sort of, I felt like I was always attracted to men in some form although I exclusively dated women in my early and mid 20s. As I've gotten into my 30s my attraction to men grew to the  where my interest in women is non-existent at this point

[YourNoLimitsBottom]

Late 30's. Once I started I've never gone back and I wish I could let my younger self know what he is missing.

[SensualM]

On 1/19/2026 at 4:56 PM, Piggyybttmm said:

Sort of, I felt like I was always attracted to men in some form although I exclusively dated women in my early and mid 20s. As I've gotten into my 30s my attraction to men grew to the  where my interest in women is non-existent at this point

So how did that feel as that interest went away?

[SensualM]

On 1/19/2026 at 9:45 AM, hungry_hole said:

Laud Humphreys documents this phenomenon in his landmark book "Tearoom Trade: Impersonal Sex in Public Places" (1970). He calls the "Insertee role" to be the "base role", where most men end with time (Insertee=Bottom, Insertor=Top). He comes to this conclusion after following men at a cruising park in 1965. 

Did he have any explanation as to why?

[PhoenixTriad]

Yes, but not men vs women.  I did women 40+ yrs ago because society wanted me straight.   I came out shortly after but have been predominantly top since.  Lately, with an enlarged prostate I am leaning bottom more and more.  I just need dick like never before. 

[hungry_hole]

14 hours ago, SensualM said:

Did he have any explanation as to why?

No explanation, simply an observation