IntoBBvisitor Posted 6 hours ago Author Report Posted 6 hours ago 2 hours ago, hungry_hole said: Tops use whatever they need to get turned on and hard. So I don't blame him Neither I don t blame them at all. I m just wondering what are the causes of these changes... I noticed it in my personnal experience and I notice it in porn too... Tops tend to become everytime more demanding and assertive. Quote
hntnhole Posted 1 hour ago Report Posted 1 hour ago On 2/25/2026 at 12:44 PM, Njn0mc said: It is not fun when you have to recover for a long time due to the aggressiveness of the top. It's neither fun nor anywhere near to appropriate. Corporal distress can be a useful tool, provided the Top knows what he's doing. When that's simply not the case, it's downright dangerous for the sub. I don't know how a sub bottom could get the notion that just because a man says he's this or that, it's actually the case. In the case of Bd/Sm sex, that 'acceptance' of a statement as Whatever's Truth is downright dangerous. This is why I beat the drum occasionally (in appropriate threads) about the boy insisting on a negotiation well before any 'scene' is to take place. NO man, particularly a sub, is nothing but a piece of breedmeat, regardless of whether that concept raises a sweat on one's brow. It's downright fukkin dangerous for a boy to merely accept as fact what any man says when it comes to corporal distress. Boys simply need to insist on what's called a "negotiation-of-limits" meeting well prior to the actual event. A boys well-being, both physically and definitely emotionally depends on more than mere talk, it depends on taking the man's measure in person, wherein things such as limits, acts that are desired, acts that aren't, can be negotiated between the two equals, since until the scheduled moment the scene begins, that's exactly what they are. Tops that mistreat bottoms in an attempt to bolster their own weaknesses are beneath contempt. When two men meet, become acquainted, and grow close enough to establish a more regimented relationship, that's one thing. Until that point in the relationship is reached, however, it's up to each man to pointedly describe any sexual acts he's not comfortable with, and that means it's forbidden at the upcoming scene. Any man, T, b, or in between that won't accept those parameters is simply not trustworthy, and should be avoided. Every so often, when I lived in Chicago, there would be several murders, particularly in the highrises along the lake on the east end of boystown. And none of them needed to happen, but they did happen because some bottoms seem to think they have zero agency, when that is the farthest thing from the truth. Each man has equal agency while negotiating limits, what will happen during the scene, what will not, etc etc. Pardon the rant, but I wonder if anything other thing under the sun pisses me of more than losing men of tremendous value, merely because they don't believe they own just as much agency / value as any other man up to the moment a negotiated Bd/Sm scene commences. 😠 2 Quote
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