Philip

Are you someone who reads people’s bio on Grindr (or any other app) or do you skip it entirely and go straight to sending them a message? I’ve noticed that a lot of people don’t read the bios. Why is that? I find it frustrating sometimes when guys ask me questions that I have clearly written on my bio. To me, it shows a lack of care and attention to detail. I like to read other people’s bio (when there is one) because, A, the way they write gives you clues about their personality, and B, provides starting conversational topics.

This was very wholesome to read 😇 Thank you for sharing. Love for another person is such a strong emotion that I do wish it upon everyone in this lifetime. When I do meet someone who have not fallen in love, I would be lying if I say that I don’t feel a pang of sadness for them, that somehow they are missing out on something special that life has to offer.

A man comes over to my house. We have dinner, play some board games, cuddle, then have anal sex. He tells me that this feels too much like a hook-up rather than a date. I am confused. Another man comes over (on a different day). We play some Nintendo Switch, cuddle, talk about our lives, then have anal sex. He also tells me this is starting to feel more like a hook-up then a date. I am befuddled. Am I doing something wrong? I thought a hook-up is when someone comes over, sex without as much as a grunt and a moan, slaps an ass, leaves. What is the difference between a date and a hook-up? If you have sex with someone and you both cuddle and talk for an hour or two afterwards intimately, would that still be considered a hook-up?

Why do want a partner/boyfriend? A man once told me that he doesn’t know why he wants a partner if he is self-sufficient already. He can look after himself and I had no doubt that he could. He said that he can find happiness within himself, and that he knows how to love himself, so why, he asked me on a summer evening, does he need a partner? His friends and family can keep him company. His work keeps him busy. He can have casual sex whenever he wants to. He simply doesn’t see the need in having a partner. I was stunned. Today, he is 23 and I am 31. Perhaps he hasn’t been in enough relationships to know the importance of having one. I told him that I want a partner because friends come and go, and your partner will be there with you no matter what. Sex with strangers is great, but you reach a deeper level of intimacy with a long-term partner. If life is a stew, then a partner is the salt that enhances the flavour in every possible way. What is everyone’s thought on this? Are you someone who would like a partner or are you fine on your own?

I understood you right away. When one of you are inside the other, you bring the intimacy to a higher state of being. Without the sex, I don’t know if you could reach this ‘higher state.’ Certainly. From pure observation and trying to figure out why certain men say that sex is not important, I have noticed that these men tend to either, A, have a small penis, or B, self-conscious of their appearance, or C, afraid to catch STD. I reason that the man with the small penis says that ‘sex is not really important’ because he is worried that he might not be able to pleasure others, so he forgo sex altogether in case his partner is disappointed when they do have sex. The man that is self-conscious with his weight might be worried about what his partner thinks about his physical appearance, so may say that ‘sex is not really important’ as a cover up for his low-esteem. And the man who is afraid of catching STD might say that ‘sex is not really important’ just so he doesn’t have to expose himself to catching potential STD altogether. These are examples of three different men I have dated who do not like to have sex and my theories as to why it is the case. But I am uncertain if my conclusion is correct. Any ideas?

Wise words from a wise man. I thought about this quote for a long while today. I dated a man where he said that he doesn’t like to have too much sex, but our intimacy was very strong, and for a long time, I thought that perhaps I could compromise a relationship with infrequent sex to be with him. Who needs to have sex when intimacy was as strong as ours? I thought to myself. But then intimacy declined and so did the relationship. Intimacy is the mortar that binds the bricks together to form the house we call relationship. I love this. I often think to myself that the reason I chose to be gay (if it wasn’t genetics—we won’t go there today) is for the sex. Gay sex is awesome and my favourite part of being gay. Couldn’t agree with you more on this. If I begin to feel strong emotions towards another man, the sex usually follows which plunges me into a deeper emotion state, like a drug.

STD test screening for my PREP is also every three month, so I had the same strategy of going to the bathhouse a week or so before my test, so that the test will pick up any STD that I caught. I don’t think I can wait to go to the bathhouse once every three months though, so now I go to the bathhouse once a month and get tested-treated a few days after that. This is so true! I’ve dated people who are terrified of catching STDs and consequently, are less than satisfactory in bed, although I never made the correlation as to why until now. This was so wholesome to read 😇 Thank you posting this. I went for a STD check-up yesterday and I was very confident and comfortable telling the doctor about my sexual history without feeling guilty of shameful. Don’t think I could have done that if I didn’t read your post beforehand. 😇

I have been dating a few men who says that sex is not everything in a relationship. One man had said that if a cake’s key ingredients are eggs, flour, and milk, then sex is not one of these key ingredients, that it is a topping like chocolate chips or icing. Personally, I think that sex is a key ingredient in a relationship. It is the egg in the cake and without it, the cake will not be a cake. In your opinion, do you think that sex plays a critical role in a healthy relationship, especially gay relationship? I find that men who says that sex is not important either has a small penis, self-conscious of their appearance (e.g., overweight), afraid of STDs, or a combination of all. Is it appropriate for me to have come to this conclusion, or are there legit reasons why men don’t think that sex is everything?

I should try this. I have always finger bottoms to see if they are sloppy before topping them, but this is genius. When I bottom, I do not like being fingered, mainly because guys can get really rough, or they don’t cut their fingernails, and I just know that I’m internally bleeding somewhere.

There are a post or two about the joy of having anon sex in the dark room at the bathhouse but not many about catching STD’s there. Do you always catch some sort of STD when visiting a bathhouse? I usually do. I find it embarrassing to keep going to the Melbourne Sexual Health Clinic every fortnight to get tested, then eventually treated for it, so I try and limit myself to the bathhouse about once a month now so I don’t have to get treated as often, but that means I have less anon fun too.

@fskn this is such a well written sentence and it is so true on so many levels. I have been on many dates where things go really well up until the sex part, and it begins to fall apart from there. I realize that meeting someone at a bathhouse means that you know how they perform in the bedroom, their size and positioning (top/bottom). I talked to a few guys after our sex and I get to know what they sound like, their personality, and it is much more efficient than chatting with someone on a dating app, only to be disappointed when you meet them up in real life. @hntnhole thank you for the wholesome story. You have really inspired me that it is possible to meet your partner in the most unlikely of places. Yes! This has happened to me and I was very surprised that some guys stop to chat!

Been swallowing for over seven years now. The first couple of times was difficult: I would spit it out disgusted at myself and at the taste, but just forced myself one day and have been loving it ever since. Makes cleaning up after a jerk session so much easier and I assess my general health by the taste of the cum too.

Wet on Wellington bathhouse usually has water-based lube in each of the cubicles and major rooms there already. For the first fuck, I usually use a bit of silicon lube in case the first top doesn’t use any lube and once he loads me up, I don’t usually require any lube for the whole night.

Has anyone ever spoken to a man at a bathhouse after having a good time with him, taken down his number, go on a date, and have a romantic relationship with him? Does these things ever happen or am I imagining a fantasy world here?

I agree with this reason. Some of the men I have spoken to on Grindr haven’t given me their phone numbers yet so I still only talk to them on there. When I am dating someone and they don’t make it clear that it is exclusive, I still go on Grindr just to talk to people for the social aspect, but not really for the sex.

What? That makes so much sense lol. I never came across this sign at all and I was checking out the place in detail. I wore my key on my right wrist because it seemed natural. No wonder I kept seeing people looking at my wrist. Thanks for the tip buddy! I will be wearing it on my left wrist next time.

Last load was at Wet on Wellington, Melbourne. 15 dicks over the course of eight hours. Below is the full story (2 k words). Saturday, 15th January 2019 and Sunday, 16th January Today, I have decided to go to Wet on Wellington, a gay bathhouse where men go to have sex with each other. I have been reading a lot of gay sex stories leading up to this day, mainly about dark room. As the name suggest, a dark room is a dimly or completely dark room where men enter to have anonymous sex with each other with the benefit that you cannot see who you are topping or who is topping you. And the sex is completely bareback too, which I enjoy. I get there at 9:00 p.m. There is no one on the street, it is a ghost town. I park my car about a five minute walk away where there are plenty of parking, grab my mask, and take a pleasant stroll. There is an Anytime Fitness gym next door and it is deserted like the rest of the street. I enter the large sliding door and the man at the counter ask for my ID, cash, and my vaccination ticket, then hands me my locker key. “Where is the locker?” I ask him, and he is surprised to learn that it is my first time here and ask me to meet him at the back for a tour of the place. I make my way to the back and he takes me to the locker room. There is a long pool that stretches from the entrance to the back of the building. The place smells like chlorine. There are hundreds of lockers there. My locker is number 132. I take off my clothes and wrap the thin red towel around my waist. It keeps undoing itself so I am constantly wrapping and unwrapping it but I get the hang of it soon. I decide to become accustom to my surroundings so I take a tour of the entire building. The first floor is where the locker room is, as well as the showers and steam room. I did not take any showers when I am there because my face tends to dry without my adding moisturizer afterwards, and I didn’t bring any today. There is a very long and large swimming pool that no one is in, a smoking bay with stairs leading to an upstairs outdoor patio. The floor is wet. Men are walking around with nothing but towels around their waist and it is eye-candy in here. There are stairs leading to the second floor. I hear men moaning but it turns out to be a Sean Cody clip from a lounge area. There is a dark room just past a few turns, and many rooms with a flat black mattress on the floor. I examine each one. I am looking for a glory hole in the wall but, of course, there aren’t any because men want a private room to themselves without the prying eyes of others. The corridors are dark enough to set the mood but not pitch black. Red lights illuminate our faces and set the mood for sex. I take the stairs to the third floor. I bump into walls which I think are passageway a few times because it is slightly darker up here. Mirrors are randomly place and I walk into them by mistake since they look like walkways. Rooms have mattresses on them now, someone is on a sling in one of the rooms, and the glory hole booths are on this floor. There are four booths on the ground level and short stairs leading up to another four booths; this way, men can suck each other’s dicks without kneeling on their knees. The upper booths have an open section where you can watch the porn happening in the back of the room while having your dick sucked, which is genius, in my opinion. An overweight man with glasses approaches me and touches me, asks me to get a room with him, I refuse. He follows me around and I politely refuse a total of three times before he leaves me alone. As I am walking down a corridor on the third floor, an asian man that seems Chinese follows me. He is handsome, fit, and interested in me so I follow him into a room and we make out. I feel his penis, small, and then his ass, lubed and opened, so I turn him around and begin to top him. He enjoys it. I have already cummed three times before coming here so I pretend to finish inside him so I can move on, but he pulls me in closer for a hug and it feels so good. We lay there in each other’s arms for a while and I tell him that I’ll catch him later, put on my towel, leave. It has been an hour since I’ve arrived and I am finding it difficult to hook up with anybody, for the simple fact that there are no real dark room and you have to rely on chasing down a guy to have sex with you. There are two reasons why I find this especially challenging. The first reason is that you both have to give the right signals that you are both interested into each other. I find that a lot of people are verbal, asking straight-out whether you want to have sex, then find a room. The second reason is that you don’t know if they are a top or a bottom until you are both in the room together. When it comes to one-on-one sex and I am the top, there is too much pressure to perform well which makes me limp, unless they are asian and very attractive. If they are a top, this makes things much easier because I tend to bottom at sex clubs. I am standing at an alcove near the glory hole booth and I spot a muscular asian walking past. I think he is Vietnamese and very handsome. I am too shy to approach him so I watch as he enters the upper glory hole booth and I enter the booth below and suck him off. His cock is an average size, smooth and velvety, and you can tell he is a top by the way that he is thrusting his hips back and forth. I exit the booth, follow him around, but we never enter a booth together as he doesn’t seem to send out the signal that he is interested. So I walk downstairs to the dark room area and a man follows me, kisses me. Someone feels my body from behind, drops my towel, lubes my ass, sticks his penis inside me, begins to fuck me. I lean down and suck someone’s dick. After the top loads me, someone else enters me. I am still sucking dick. When this guy finishes inside me, I turn to look up and the Vietnamese guy is there watching me and I am excited to see him watching me get fucked. I kiss him and he kisses me back tenderly and I reach out my arms to hug him and for a brief moment, everyone is gone and it is just as in the room, embracing each other. I lean down to suck his dick, then moves it towards my ass but he pulls away. Perhaps he doesn’t do bareback? Someone else enters me instead, pushes me towards the bed, and begins to fuck me really hard. I moan in pleasure but the sound is muffled by a cock entering my mouth. This is what I have come here for, I thought to myself. On the other side of the bench, the Vietnamese guy is fucking someone on the bed, then he is on his knees in the missionary position. I get fucked by about ten men and I stand up when I see the Vietnamese guy leaving. A few men stops me and asks if I am feeling okay, get some water, rest. I tell them I am okay but someone pushes me against the wall and begin to kiss me, tells me he wants to fuck me in a room, so we both go, but my head is turning this way and that looking for the Viet guy—I want to get him into a room so I can continue to embrace him. In the room, the man pushes me on my back and enters me deep. He pumps a couple of times and loads me up, cuddles me, then asks if I am enjoying my time and I say yes. I tell him that it is my first time here and he is surprised. He tells me where all the basic amenities are in building and we say our goodbyes. As I exit, I spot the Viet guy just turn the corner. Many days later, I regret the decision not to follow him at this point. Instead, I turn the opposite corner, down the stairs, to the water fountain. I go back upstairs, search the corridor, but the Viet guy is nowhere to be found. He had left. So I stand next to the dark room and a western man approaches me. “You are the most beautiful guy here,” he says to me, then, “if you want to, I would like to bend you over and fuck you.” “Perhaps later,” I say and then we begin to have small chats. He leans over to kiss me and that is all it takes for us to enter the closest room, me on my back, him inside me, loads me up. He wants to load me up for the second time. I tell him to come to the dark room, so we do, and in there I meet the Chinese man. He pulls me close and hugs me and it reminds me of how it feels to be in a relationship all over again. We collapse on the bed and we begin to cuddle, in the midst of all the fucking that is happening around us. We must have looked ridiculous, embracing like a couple, in the dark, men surrounding us, but we don’t care. He pulls me close and squeezes me. The fan is blowing cold air into us, the music is very loud, the place smells like poppers, sweat, chlorine, cum. I have my head on his shoulders, my hands on his chest, my eyes are closed and we manage to fall asleep for a few hours. I have come to the conclusion that I will find someone that can hold me like this in a relationship. When I wake up, there are people in the room watching us. One man is stroking his dick so I get up, suck it, and someone else is touching my ass, lubes it, enters me. He has a very large dick and it feels so good. He doesn’t load me up, exits, and within a few seconds, someone else replaces him. This man doesn’t load me up either, and they are taking turns now. After a while, neither cums, and they both exit the room. I am glad that the Chinese man is beside me because when everyone is gone, I turn back and hug him again, and everything seems okay. At one point, the Chinese man gets up and tells me that he needs to have a hot shower as he is feeling cold. I get up and hug him and the second regret that I have is not asking for his number, because I want to do this all over again with him. We say goodbye and I walk downstairs to my locker and get change. It is five o’clock in the morning and they should be closing up soon, I think to myself, so I leave, drive back home. It is 6:00 a.m. when I arrive at home. Turns out that they are open twenty-four hours on the weekend so I should have gone back upstairs to see if I could get filled some more. I don’t know if my second experience would be the same coming back. It was made enjoyable due to the Chinese man being there with me for half the eight hours visit; without him, I think I would have left at around midnight after I realized that the Viet guy was no longer there. I hope that I can see both of them there next time.