@NWUSHorny - I want to comment on this and your other thread around spit and shove (link below) in one-fell-swoop...because they are, to me, related. Beyond that, two separate friends had experiences related to these things within the last few months.
Use and type of lube is a personal preference and decision made in the moment. I am generally fine with spit/shove unless it's the very start of things, but my friend "Eric" just told me about his recent experience.
Eric is a slut - on RentMen, takes and gives dick constantly. He was at some party, and the guy who was starting to fuck him had a REALLY massive dick and so Eric asked, "hey can you use some lube" and the response Eric got was "no one else used any, why should I?" and then proceeded to fuck him. Eric was PISSED because his plan had been to take many more loads, but what happened to him left him literally unable to take dick for over two weeks including that night. This is the opposite of what you're saying, but I think it's confusing to hold the line at "artificial substance" when you're taking random anonymous DNA/loads/whatever. Also, when topping, if you've never had a chaffed dick then you're a luckier person than me - that shit hurts and makes you walk strange for a few days at least.
TOYS - I have arrived with a buttplug in me and if at a bathhouse sometimes with dildos and toys. The plug is good if there's a lull, the toys can be something a top might like in additional to fucking me. I have heard NO ONE say that they prefer only one way and not the other. If you state that you only wanna top with your dick, then it's not the right bottom for you - walk away. Other guys may want to wreck that hole with toys before fucking. I, personally, wouldn't INSIST on toys versus the opportunity to take your dick, but different strokes for different folks, I guess! 🙂 I don't think it's rude though. What you're describing though is more about just being sloppy in the bathhouse, and I agree, if he was as messy as what you describe, bad behavior! 🙂