PozToxVersPig

We have the same pedigree thus why it was familiar and appealing. It wasn't so much JIRA ticket as Program Manager email, but we're saying the same thing 🙂 Slipping to an upstairs bathroom? Sounds like you've already got things sorted out. Enjoy!

I committed to using BB Book (Bigger Black Book) - it's an app in the App store - to track in 2026. I'm not in love with the app...What I like about the app is that it records sexual positions, kinks, etc. and you can add contacts to it (or guests) to each record of hooking up. Are there better apps? I really am super shitty at tracking...I don't have a clue the number. Cheers ya'll!

@hntnhole - you and I have a 15-year age difference, so I recognize and respect that you saw more firsthand those impacted by HIV in the early days and especially throughout the 80s. Though I identified as gay very early on in life and paid more attention than your average kid to things like this, I didn't have friends (two family members though) who died of HIV due to what I understand was a chose to bareback. I've subsequently educated myself, a lot, including about the history of HIV/AIDS. And I think your statement above oversimplifies things, or that the vast majority of those that died from AIDS had their lives "taken over" because their "life without taking loads was simply not worth living." I don't think that's fair or representative of what occurred. Gay men, specifically and homosexuality - have roots in a cultural identity that is largely based on our sexual attraction to the same sex...and the sexual activities that arise from that. When HIV arrived, we weren't even able to be in rooms openly socializing with each other. To have community was impossible, so it was boiled down often to sexual encounters which, were "safer" in the sense that they maintained anonymity, could be done quickly, and without disrupting our likely heteronormative lives. As gay men were able to be more open and out and social communities formed, this remained a part of the culture of gay men. To expect those that have had to struggle having just this one thing (sex) to suddenly transform in to us dating, marrying and not hooking up implies a cultural shift that's speedier than any other seen in history. So now we have HIV and the government, which has treated gay men so badly, not recognized their relationships, not defend them against police action, wrongful terminations, insurance denials, etc. is now ALL UP IN OUR BUSINESS telling us "SAFE SEX ONLY" and "USE A CONDOM ALWAYS" - and running campaigns that if I had seen at the time, I would have thought "who the fuck are you to tell me this?" Not only that, but gay men had a freedom they didn't with heterosexual sex. There was no risk of pregnancy. Now the government was saying "you can't have that anymore. we don't care about you and we don't acknowledge you or your rights as a gay man, but we insist you use a condom because AIDS." So how did this shake out: much like today, men went on being men and having sex. Some portion started using condoms because they were more apt to follow rules like that anyway. Some continued doing what they'd always done because if you're in your 20s you're mindset is already that you're invincible and if you're in your 30s might have started to become stuck in your ways. And some rose up and said "You (the government) telling me to use a condom is overreach, control, and you can go to hell." This latter group, more so than the dudes that just kept fucking raw because it's what they knew, had a formal position on resisting the use of condoms and started a resurgence and perhaps created the sub-culture of "barebacking" as a subcommunity. Yes, they wanted to have sex without a condom, but they also didn't want the government taking away something they cared about - the intimacy, connection, etc. that condomless sex afforded. This group combined with the "this is always the way I've done it" forms a large majority of those in these community groups, along with the fetishists. Unlike some fetishizing groups today (no shame), I don't believe they were "so attached to fucking 'raw'" as you put it. Perhaps they simply didn't want anything else to be taken away from them. Perhaps they thought that it was their right to do have sex however they wanted. Perhaps they didn't want to be controlled. Perhaps, starved for intimacy as a gay man their entire lives, this one thing - this ONE physical thing - allowed them to feel some part of a connection. So I think you over simplified, by a lot, and I think it's dangerous to do so. I'm happy to send you many of the articles, journals, etc. I've read privately, but again, want to acknowledge that I've formed this view without the direct loss of my same age counterparts who you may have witnessed make decisions that would end their lives. I have much respect for your point of view. To illustrate this in a more relatable way, replace AIDS with COVID. It is estimated that somewhere around 700,000 people have died of AIDS or AIDS related diseases in the US since 1981. For COVID, that number is about 1.3M. The medical arts had a solution for that too which was vaccines, face masks and handwashing. We saw how easy that was to get across...........

@BruxoCub - first of all, Iove the structure and formatting of your post - you and I would probably really get along. Sounds like you're gonna have a good 2026. There's another threat similar that you might be interested in checking out too. I'll maintain my aspirational goals for 2026. Any plans for midnight to jumpstart things? 🙂 My 2026 Sex Goals

Author's Note: If you've made it this far and have not read the Author's Note, please do. It adds important context to all chapters of this story. I stood silently, in the exact same spot, arms and hands by my side, blindfolded and gagged, wearing all my other gear…my armor. It’s hard to even say that I was “naked” given all the gear though I’m sure that’s how most would have described me. I stood in that spot, as still as I could be, for what felt like much longer but was probably closer to 10 to 15 minutes. My dick had developed a life of its own, occasionally getting a little bit harder and twitching – probably in anticipation of what would come next. During this time my hole was doing what every bottom’s freshly fucked hole does…send non-stop aggressive emergency alert messages to your brain saying, "NEED MORE LOADS!" Many many many more loads. Bottom’s always like to take loads, but if you haven’t recently (within the last 24 hours, week, whatever), the first one seems to trigger the insatiable hunger and unrelenting focus on getting more. Many many many more. Had I just gotten a load under other circumstances and not under the control of my Dominants, I’d be scouring the internet, my phone, texting fuck buddies, and identifying a plan to find more myself, but now, I was left merely to wait. My hole continued to pulse ever so slightly. I genuinely feel bad for the power tops and reluctant bottoms of the world that never feel this sensation in their life. It’s like a weird combination of heat and lust and ambition and drive and singular focus. There was movement all around me during this time -- items being moved and shuffled, dining room chairs placed in different locations. Something made of hollow metal got assembled but I had no idea what it was – it didn’t sound large enough to be a sling. Someone brought something up from the basement and must have hit the wall or door jamb doing so. "Oh damnit!" Jacob said...he must have been the one carrying whatever it was. The porno was back on but not very loud...Ethan and Jacob didn't speak much, at least that I could hear, but occasionally I'd here, "Like this you mean?" or "Try it there." I didn't know what was taking place. Someone lightly clapped their hands and Ethan said, "I think that's it. Let's turn on the other TV and the music." Two TVs? Music? There must be something happening involving other people, because there’d be no reason for two TVs and music… I continued to stand there, thinking about what I had heard. The furniture and chair movement – I assumed so it was more out of the way and would make space. The shutters in the living room had been closed since I arrived, but I thought I heard the shutters in the dining room close as well. Something large enough was brought up from the basement that it was difficult to maneuver through the narrow door…maybe a folding table like one you’d have at a party? I knew I was spiraling trying to imagine the possibilities so once again, reminded myself to just breathe… That lasted a few minutes until I heard some final sounds similar to what I had heard a while ago but did not recognize or identify. This time I thought I knew. I heard what sounding like plastic sheathing being dropped downward coming from the dining room. Putting two and two together, I realized that what I’d heard earlier was the same type of sheathing that I now guessed had been placed on the floor and secured with tape (I had heard tape being pulled off the roll). Now it sounded like they might be covering furniture. The show Dexter was in its heyday around this time and if you remember that show, plastic sheathing was regularly used for Dexter’s cleanup. Yes, my mind went there at that moment, but I quickly ignored the thought. This had to be something involving watersports…that’s the ONLY possible reason for this covering things up like this. But seriously, how much could really go down in someone’s house without it getting destroyed? I got pissed in on my bed once with sex sheets down and me holding as much piss in as I could, it was still something needing containment. Knowing Ethan though, he had thought this through. I’m taken immediately back to reality with another slap on my semi hard dick and I could tell both Ethan and Jacob were standing in front of me. It is crazy how lack of sight and the blindfold made it seem sometimes like what I was thinking in my head was real, because I could picture it so clearly…and it was only someone or something jolting me back to the physical world that made you realize you had been daydreaming. "Boy, we are going to start getting you ready, just the two of us. But shortly after we're done, there are going to be several more people joining us. We are not going to tell you who they are, whether you know them, whether we know them, or any information about them." Oh my god, "whether you know them" - it wouldn't be the first time I'd accidentally ended up at the same sex party as a friend, but not in my current circumstances. "Boy, do you remember when we talked about watersports?” (I shook my head yes and grunted.) “You started today liking watersports, and tomorrow you will not be able to live without them. It will become something you need and crave and can't live without. An obsession. That’s what tonight is all about.” I shook my head a few more times yes, vigorously, while trying to grunt enthusiastically. Someone reached around to my hole and began to pull the butt plug out that had been inside me. I had once again almost forgotten it was there. Applying a little more lube near the base, they continued pulling. This plug felt different going in and very different coming out. The widest part finally popped out, and I made a small yelping sound as my hole then settled on another ledge, stopping it from coming out further. The plug was pulled on more and my hole released two more additional tiers of the plug – not as wide as the first and getting smaller as it exited. I could picture the shape of the plug now. I was breathing heavy and panting – that ended up being more effort than I expected. I was led to the same bathroom as before and moved into the shower. I heard both Ethan and Jacob remove their clothes. A group shower? Yeah, right! We had just talked about watersports so I had a pretty good idea of what might come next. "Boy, Down!" Ethan demanded. His voice had grown much more assertive in just the last minute. The somewhat compassionate vibe from when my blindfold was off was gone. We were back to business. I got down on all fours and then lowered my arms and head towards the shower floor, raised my ass and pushed it back, giving the maximum access to my hole. I assumed the Down position…I was getting good at it. Ethan told me to move forward and guided my head to the corner of the shower which I assumed was so someone could be behind me. I could hear both stroking their dicks. I wasn’t just getting washed down with piss, I wasn’t just getting fucked…this was the perfect setup for what has become one of my favorite things to this day – I was going to get piss fucked. (Author’s note: at times like this, I have a certain "devious grin" I tend to make that some people have noticed. I couldn't grin then because of the gag, but while writing this section in 2025, I caught myself with the "devious grin.") "Boy, your hole has started to loosen up but you need to focus so you’re ready for what’s happening next! You need to loosen up your muscles and not grip our dicks at all unless we tell you to. We're gonna continue to fuck your hole open with whatever we need to until we can take a piss easily in your hole." Jacob said. He had moved into the shower behind me and onto his knees based on the direction his voice was coming from. The shower was a large rectangular glass enclosed shower, adequate for two people in these positions, but there wasn’t room for additional movement. Right in front of my head was the corner of the shower so I couldn’t move forward, and Jacob could easily stop me from moving left or right…I was pretty much stuck. It felt a little like the Cage. Jacob, like before, put his dick against the outside of my hole and traced the outside with his dick. And in a way that would become very familiar, he centered his dick on my hole and hesitated for just enough time so my anticipation could build. He’d only fucked me once at this point, so I didn’t know if he was always aggressive, switched things up or…. FUUUUCKK! Before I ever knew it, Jacob took a quick breath and lunged forward and sunk his dick completely. It couldn’t have taken more than 3 seconds. I tried to escape the onslaught of his dick by moving forward, but my head collided with the corner of the shower so there he was, balls deep inside of me. I felt the familiar feeling of my hole wrapped around the base of his dick. It did, absolutely, feel different than Alex’s. He kept himself all the way inside me, and the longer he stayed, the more I felt I could tell the difference. I had moaned extremely loudly when he entered and had resumed shallow breathing, panting to try to calm myself. Without the gag, I’m sure even the neighbors would have heard me. I felt my eyes water from the overwhelming sensation – thank God Ethan couldn’t see that. After being inside me and buried for a bit, he rotated his hips so that my hole continued to be opened. I was lightheaded and a little dizzy the way you are when you get a complete endorphin blast all at once. He began to fuck me very aggressively and every five strokes or so would continue to rotate his hips and work my hole open. I could feel myself opening up more and more. He wasted no time beginning to fuck me hard, this time every five strokes or so shoving most of the way in and then circling his hips so that it pulled on all edges of my hole. He had a pattern I could anticipate which helped me to start fucking him back a little bit. As this was happening, I was moaning and grunting like my body was being torn apart but in reality, I was enjoying it so much and hoping he wouldn’t stop. I kept reminding myself to breathe and relax…saying both words in my mind as he continued. He pulled out completely and just as quickly I had three fingers from each of his hands up inside me, again pulling my hole open towards opposite sides of my body. He was not messing around, using all his arm string. It felt great and then he replaced his fingers with his dick again, fucking me for a few minutes longer. "I gotta stop. You don't get my load yet, Boy." He pulled out and said to Ethan "Look at that..." " “Hell yeah, and we haven't really gotten started." I think at that moment I was thinking “if we haven’t started yet, then let’s fucking start already” – the bottom in me was turned up! Despite the energy of the situation, I honestly felt super relaxed compared to any other time I had been fucked in my life up to that point (which was a lot). I felt like those porno bottoms who literally can take a massive dick without so much as a dime size amount of lube, right from the jump – my hole was ready! I could still feel the slickness of Alex's loadI could certainly smell cum which, at this point, had to include Jacob's precum. My hole was in a Zen state – relaxed, ready, and energized. "Here comes!" Jacob said, just a few moments after he had pulled out. I felt a few initial drops and sprays of his warm piss hit the outside of my hole and my ass cheeks before he put his dick back inside, this time slower and gentler. He was nearly fully in when he let out a sigh/moan and just like that, it started. It felt warm and the feeling of it inside could not be ignored. It was so different than cum, which felt softer when it hits your insides. This felt sharper - not painful - just sharper. He went on for a while, and I thought he was finished but then he sigh/moaned again and even more started flowing into me. I wanted to say "Damn, sir, that's a lot of piss." Honestly, I didn't know how much it was compared to how it felt, but then it started to leak out of me and past his dick and I could feel it dribbling down my legs. Jacob let out another sigh/moan, I guess indicating he was done. “Oh Boy, how does that feel? You’ve got a hole filled with my piss. I want you to try gently wrapping your hole a little tighter around my dick…you’re gonna hold all this piss inside you and I don’t want any to come out.” I did as I was told, focusing very hard on controlling my hole around his dick. He very slowly removed his dick, little by little. It felt like I succeeded when he finally had his dick completely out. I didn’t feel any additional piss flow out of me. Jacob and Ethan seemed to shuffle positions quickly, because a few moments later, I felt Ethan's dick pressed up against my hole, already centered, and within 10 seconds of Jacob pulling out, Ethan was already inside of me. "I fucking love shoving my dick into a hole full of piss and fucking it out. Damn, so fucking hot." I groaned in agreement a few times "grrr grrr grrr." "That's so hot man, how's it feel?" Jacob was egging Ethan on. "Really fucking good, I could stay here forever but it's time to make sure he starts feeling and smelling like a pig who's obsessed with piss." While inside of me, I had the same feeling of knowing Ethan's dick compared to the others...I felt a difference. Jacob's dick was thicker overall top to bottom, so it forced me open more side to side. Ethan's was more cylindrical so it felt more equal around my entire hole. Alex’s was longer, wider at the base than at the top. Ethan shoved his dick in about 3/4 of the way and I could tell while he was pushing his dick in that he was already starting to piss in me. "Just keep making sure that hole is nice and relaxed Boy cuz I know you want this second bucket of piss inside you." I grunted again. He made a similar sound to Jacob and let out a sigh/moan as he continued to flood me. A small amount continued to trickle out of my hole, but nothing compared to what I could feel was going inside. I honestly wasn't sure how long it was going to go on. Occasionally the flow of piss would stop for a moment then start. And I felt this complicated sense of fullness and emptiness at the same time. When he finally finished, he didn't pull out. Instead, he started pumping his dick in and out of me, speeding up little by little until he started to pound me at a fairly aggressive speed with deep, long strokes. At this point, I still felt very relaxed but then realized that the flood gates had opened and there was piss splashing out of my hole from his dick thrusts and up on to my back, my legs, presumably all over Ethan....I felt some drops of piss hit my back and sides of my torso. He kept pounding pretty fast and hard, while at the same time taking deep breaths in and out and telling me to "relax" and I did and the more he continued to pump and the piss flew everywhere, the more relaxed I became. Ethan kept going and at a certain point, I felt considerably emptier than before and the piss-splash show had all but stopped. Ethan grunted and said, "That was fucking amazing. Good Boy, you learned how to relax your hole more. You did a good job so I'm gonna start you off with your first load of the night." He smacked my ass and then began fucking me fast and hard and very quickly he said, "I'm breeding your hole Boy. You're gonna get a fat load! Here goes." He grunted more and shot a load in me, buried deep in my hole up to his balls. I could feel the cum deposit, but it felt different now that all that piss had been in there. He pulled out quickly and got up. The smaller butt plug from earlier had re-appeared and slide easily in. "You're not taking a shower. Pat yourself dry with this towel and stand up." He threw a towel on my back and I stood up. He told me to pick up my feet one then the other, slid a jock strap on to my legs, and pulled it up and over my dick, adjusting it. We exited the bathroom and I could already smell the sweet smell of Ethan and Jacob's piss, starting to dry all over my body. The smell was intoxicating. It didn't smell like a public restroom - some combination of cleaning chemicals and stagnant urine and unclean surfaces. It smelled clean and crisp. I was still lightheaded and my body was very relaxed. I was euphoric – that’s the best word for it. I had played around with piss and even been piss fucked many times and so I was a bit surprised that I felt so present to how the experience felt, how I was so relaxed during it, and how the smell was just enchanting. During other experiences, there was more tension in the experience…lingering concern about the environment, who was around, whether I was okay to be around them smelling like I’d just been pissed in. Ethan was leading me across the room with his hand on my shoulder, and Jacob was on my other side. Ethan moved his hand briefly down and snapped the waistband of my jock, right above my hole and laughed, "You're gonna end up loving the smell of this jock by the end of the night Boy."

Oh wow. Okay. I might have way overdone it. The smallest of the new plugs that are arriving (hopefully today...) is 8". I also got a 9.6" then 10.6" circumference. My current plug is smaller than 8" - I don't have it with me but it's definitely smaller than a pop can in circumference. That still takes some warmup if I'm starting from a cold-engine 🙂 I don't anticipate being able to get the 8" right away- but that's goal #1. I did not even think to google "average male hand circumference" and sure as shit the answer is right there at the top of the page.

Me too - that's why I thought it couldn't possibly be good. Like, I can get grown up stuff now 🙂 Sure enough, it works great 🙂

Feedback from the first few folks to see this has been really positive. Will share more.

@Sfmike64 appreciate you sharing you voice on this! 🙂 You have firmly made "don't yuck someone's yum" part of my vernacular. I had never heard it prior to you recently, and I actually used it out in the world yesterday!

This is my "FF training whilte PA upsizing heals" regime. It arrives Wednesday.

I'm not sure how long you've been having sex and how many people have topped you, but shit happens. I don't know where you're finding these people, and what their status is RE: drug use, etc. If you found them on "Gay Christian Barebackers" and there were no drugs, maybe they are a top that thrives of intimacy and connection. If they are party tops, maybe they had too much in their system. If they were just your run of the mill BB top, it could just be a coincidence. Men who struggle with ED are not as likely to show up with the promise of toping without taking a pill. I don't generally feel like those that suffer from performance anxiety to be prevalent as tops on these sites. You haven't provided enough information to ascertain the issue. IF you're not planning on hooking up with them, then who cares?

@norefusal curious about your thoughts on this. And thanks for the back and stuff. Context: so I'm poz/detectable (qualified gifter), I get hit up by chasers ALL the time. I'm pretty restrictive about the ones that I'll consider messing around with namely that they seem serious, considered, and thoughtful about this decision and have taken steps beyond just contact me that indicates they are actually chasing. I can tell you more about this if you want. Anyway - I've been writing about my own BDSM fully immersed 6-day submission experience recently, and part of BDSM is being clear and aligned on limits/no-gos, and my primary Dom in my situation had spent a month gathering information. Leading to a final conversation with me after I had indicated interest in participating. We sat down for about 45 minutes and he made notes about what limits/no gos. Not everyone would have to do this exercise (e.g. a once and done anon fuck), but if you want, as the Chaser does, a multi-day experience (i own and control fri night - sun night, have full authority within limits, he has safeword) then he needs to identity his limits and we'll connect well prior to the fuck session to discuss and agree. So this is how I shaped it. Three of my very sex-active friends got this as well and they all said, "this is kinda cool sitting down and writing this out" - Curious about your thoughts....template below with bogus example. Again this isn't for a random hookup - it's for someone that's looking for something more significant and potentially spans many days in a row, or days spread out over a period of time. ---------------------- OKAY SO FORMAT IS LIKES / PREFERENCES - things you like and want to do DISLIKES / DON'T PREFER - stuff you don't really like but are not off limits and are willing to do NON NEGOTIABLE NO'S - absolutely not! For each item you list, if there is a limit, include it. You can put as many or as few things as you want in each section (PREFERENCE, DISLIKE, NO)., e.g. PREFERENCE: All Bareback / No Condom Breeding (limit 10000 per day, NO CONDOMS accepted) *the limit of 10000 today is there for exaggeration butt plugs and toys (top should be respectful of bottoms size limitations at that moment, goal is to go the distance, not cause damage or extreme pain) HIV Status preferred in this order: HIV +detectable, HIV+ meds/undetectable, HIV- DISLIKE: women (gender assigned at birth) (limit XXXXXX) NO's: double penetration by horses dressing me in women's clothing or lingerie Take your time. Me and an a dude who's first in line when my dick is healed did this over last few days cuz he's basically gonna let me own him from Friday night to Sunday night once dick is done healing but I made it very clear he has no say in what happens other than what he rights here.

I'll share this here, even though it doesn't involve a husband and doesn't fit in to the quiz responses. ""IF"" I had another husband, I would absolutely do this. My sidenote story which I'd incorporate **IF** a husband ever existed again... is something I got in to Summer 2024 but just did again for the first time lsat week. If I'd chat with someone who wasn't local and we'd developed a relationship of some sort, I'd offer to ship them one of the $8.99 jock straps from Amazon. They then pissed, wiped up cum, came in the jock for a week, wore it if they wanted, then put it in a Ziplock bag, and shipped it back to me. Back at home, if I found a particularly piggy talk, I would pitch me wearing it and then would wear it when we hooked up. The tops that loved it loved it, I sure did. Just this week, I sent out one for the first time in 2025. I imagine some imaginary future husband (I don't plan on having another) would be in to this as well, so I'd have a combo of his and the donor jocks as supply. So that's why I thought I'd share.