BootmanLA
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Everything posted by BootmanLA
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I wouldn't be so quick to write them off as simply being teenagers trying to be annoying. I think there's always been an element among some young people, everywhere, that is racist, homophobic, misogynistic, etc., but for a good while now, until recently, those sorts of things weren't publicly acceptable to vocalize. Certain public figures in the US and the UK (and elsewhere) have emboldened bigotry to speak up again. It's always been there, beneath the surface, but they're coming out of the shadows. Not even necessarily growing in numbers, but we're seeing how many of them there have always been, and what some of them are capable of when societal pressure to be a decent human being is removed.
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Standard advice: Go on PrEP. In your case, it's too late for daily (standard) PrEP for the encounter you have planned on Thursday, but you can start with the "on demand" dosing and then just stay on daily after that. Or recognize that (a) you've already demonstrated you're likely to take this risk repeatedly, (b) you're playing with a man who cheats on HIS partner, without protection meaning he's an excellent candidate for a sexually transmitted disease, (c) you're placing your wife at risk at the same time, and (d) if you get infected and pass it on to her, she'll probably take everything you've got in a divorce. -
You're not wrong here, but I would argue that "mainstream fetish" might have an alternative, valid meaning: a fetish (as per a definition like this: "a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc.") that while uncommon, is accepted by the mainstream as quirky but harmless. I think a foot fetish is a good example: someone not into it, hearing that an acquaintance does enjoy it, is not particularly likely to be squicked out. "Most common of the uncommon" of course plays a role in that: the more practitioners of a fetish there are, the more likely it is that other people are to take a "live and let live" approach. But I think both factors (commonness, and acceptance) are important.
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I can ignore a lot of things, but openly advocating for a legal system that would, in effect, render child rape legal under many circumstances isn't one of them. You're right that he doesn't owe me an explanation. He also isn't entitled to have his arguments in favor of it go unchallenged, within the rules of this forum. This topic asks a question "What age, and why?" (boiled down for simplicity). The why implies defending your position. I'm going to defend mine.
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That's not true. There's an entire section on sexual health issues, for instance, and while there are some people who insist on posting ideas that are UN-healthy, there are a lot of folks who promote PrEP and other ways of staying healthy. A lot of what's presented as "bad ideas" are, in fact, a way of discussing and letting off steam about "bad ideas" precisely so they DON'T transpire - ie a fantasy release. That's not to say there isn't a large contingent here who push for "bad ideas" as well - there are - but it's not "nothing but".
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That's the part that would worry me. Eager is one thing, but constant calls - AT WORK, when you're both supposed to be working - is a huge red flag to me. What happens if you have sex once, he loves it, wants it regularly, and you're not interested in dating? A guy who calls that regularly while you're both working sounds like stalker material. So I'd be VERY clear - spell out in writing, if need be - if all you're interested in is casual sex, and make it clear to him upfront if you're not the sort to go for repeats. Normally, that last isn't necessary since most people understand sex once is not automatically a promise of anything else, but I'm not sure, based on what you're saying, that this guy thinks that way. If he does, great.
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I haven't run out all the possible permutations of this, but it's possible something like this could work. I'd note, however, that you could end up with two twelve-year olds having sex; a 17 year old having sex with someone just over 14; a 20-year old college junior having sex with a 16-year old high school sophomore; a 22-year old college graduate having sex with a 17-year old high school senior - that is, using this formula. I'd tweak it some, maybe make step 3 to be "add 7". That's getting closer to spreads I think are reasonable. That's not an edict, just a personal opinion.
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Without meaning to suggest people should "like" condom porn - that's a personal choice - there are LOTS of BDSM practitioners who prefer safer sex. Nowadays, that may (or may not) be more likely to involve PrEP instead of condoms, but kink is not an equivalent term for "unsafe sex", and before PrEP, a condom was the only way to have safer sex (involving fucking, that is). In fact, there are quite a few afficionados of BDSM who don't even mix sex with the BDSM. I know any number of guys who love all manner of kinky practices but who will not fuck or get fucked. It's just not their thing.
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BDSM stands for Bondage, Discipline, Sadism and Masochism. That does not mean all four have to be present in an activity for it to be BDSM. You can bend someone over your lap to paddle and that's discipline, whether or not he's tied down, and whether or not it rises to the level of sadism or masochism. You can tie someone up in a comfortable position and leave them for hours, and that's bondage, whether or not there's any discipline or sadism or masochism involved. I'd think that however one might classify Hucows (mainstream or hardcore), simply tying the person up for it does not make it BDSM, particularly if it's an otherwise pleasurable experience. If it's milking to the point of extreme discomfort or pain, however, then it might be BDSM regardless of whether there is bondage involved. Hucows may be mainstream or hardcore (I can't judge, since I don't know much about it other than what it is, technically). But not all hardcore fetishes have to be in one of the three "subgroups" listed at the top of Hardcore; it could be its own topic in the bottom section. Likewise, if it's a mainstream fetish, start a topic there.
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That may or may not be the case. For many people, BDSM and sex are separate activities and do not necessarily overlap AT ALL. Blanket statements like that are the reason so few people actually understand what BDSM is. Whoever told you that "it's so you can fuck then [sic]" shouldn't be demonstrating how to use a broom to sweep a floor, much less teaching kink.
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I quote people when I'm arguing the points they made, not to make it a personal attack, but to clarify what I'm responding to. The poster in question argued point-blank for an abolition of all age-of-consent laws, letting everyone decide for himself. I asked repeatedly how he'd address situations where someone too young to understand were coerced into "consenting" (which I use in quotes to indicate that it's no such thing). He insists his proposal doesn't lead to such situations, and I've asked him to explain how they're prevented with his "decide for yourself" rule, and he has yet to do so. I'm open to a frank discussion of the issue, but not one which ignores, repeatedly, the issue of coerced consent - which is the reason we currently acknowledge that there's no way for a person below a certain stage of development to meaningfully consent to sex. We can argue what that age should be, but simply discarding the notion entirely without addressing the inevitable consequences is something I'm damned well going to attack - as an idea, not the person pushing it.
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To everything ejaculate said above, I'll add this: Say the supervisory positions are reversed - you're the worker, and the guy you're interested in is the supervisor. If you have sex with him, and word gets out, there can be just as much hurt for both of you. He'll be in trouble for sex with a subordinate (which is an HR nightmare) and everyone will look at everything you accomplished with the lens of "Oh, he slept with the supervisor, that's why he's gotten x tasks or y promotion or whatever". HR policies vary from company to company regarding non-supervisory people having "personal relationships" (whether it's dating, engagement, marriage, or just fucking). Perhaps perversely, the larger the company, the more likely it is to have formal policies governing such relationships even though the larger size makes it easier for the parties involved to be kept separate. On the flip side, really small family owned companies are notorious (or at least, used to be) for junior executives dating the boss's daughter so that the business could stay "in the family". My general advice: unless you're desperate for one more cock (or ass), it's almost certainly more trouble than it's worth.
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It's not immediate. It's not as though the moment you have any PrEP components in your bloodstream at all, you're safe from infection. Some studies suggest that if you take PrEP every day, it reaches its maximum protection in blood at 20 days, in rectal tissue at about 7 days, and in vaginal tissues at about 20 days. Meaning: at least a week before you get fucked bareback. Think of it this way: If you take a single pill, it will take several days for it to completely leave your system. But it starts leaving shortly after you take it (as your body begins to distribute and then also filter it out). Let's say for the sake of argument that over the 24 hours following a dose, 20% of it has been filtered out of your system. So after 24 hours, you only have 80% of a dose in your system. Take another dose, and a day later you have 60% of the first dose and 80% of the second dose. Take another dose, and in 24 hours you have 40% of the first, 60% of the second, and 80% of the third. I made up those percentages, and it may not be a steady decline, but the point is that it takes time for any particular dose to get filtered out of your system and if you keep taking it, your system eventually hits a plateau where it's keeping your system at a "working" level. Because it's easier to contract HIV through contaminated blood or vaginal sex than through anal sex, it takes longer for therapeutic levels to be attained in blood and in vaginal tissues.
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So you can downvote, but not explain how my clear description of what your position would mean, in practical terms, is in error in any way. Snowflake.
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You said, and I quote - specifically - "Let people decide for themselves." If a 40-year old man says a six-year old told him he decided he wanted it, and has the a video clip of the six-year old saying he wants it, how do you square that evidence and your "let people decide for themselves" statement with any way of protecting that child? Serious question. As I understand your statement - and please, correct me if I'm wrong - you're saying that someone of any age should be allowed to decide for himself about sex. Under criminal law - which requires proof beyond a reasonable doubt of each element of a crime, for a conviction - he would have clear, convincing evidence that the child consented. You could never prove, beyond a reasonable doubt, that the consent was coerced. What am I missing here?
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Including, presumably, children who are too young to be able to make such decisions, under the influence of adults who want to influence the decision in one direction and one direction only. I'm not saying *I* decide. I said there should be an age, on which *society* decides. You, apparently, think there should be no repercussions if, say, a six year old gets coerced into "agreeing" to have sex with a thirty-year old man.
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Do you honestly think guys who film amateur scenes don't "know they are being filmed" - especially since so many seem to involve a cell phone being held by the top pointed down at his cock going in and out of the bottom? Absent a blindfold (or a blind bottom) it would take a pretty slow-witted person not to get the idea. Ditto with the ones that seem to be a phone or laptop pointed at the bed. Eighty percent of the videos seem to start with the guy adjusting the angle of the device while the other party watches and waits.
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Does that translate to "People don't want to give me free stuff any more, now that they realize they can charge for it"?
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Oh, I get it now. You'd rather have untreated syphilis or gonorrhea than face the indignity of being told you have a sexually transmittable disease, or worse yet, have to disclose other partners for contact tracing. Message received.
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The short version of most of the responses decrying age of consent laws seems to be "Better that some kids get raped because they didn't understand they were being manipulated than that I should be denied an orgasm with another person just because I felt I was ready."
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It's not even a violation of the oath, honestly. There's no duty under the 25th Amendment - just a privilege, of sorts; the group is empowered to act, if they feel it is necessary in their best judgment. You can never prove what their best judgment ought to be. In fact, I don't think there is any sort of all-purpose offense of "violating their oath of office" which could even be charged; criminal offenses must be specifically defined, including all the elements needed to convict, and there's just nothing there.
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Foreskin - Wish You Had It? Wish You Didn't Have It?
BootmanLA replied to rawTOP's topic in General Discussion
It doesn't actually "grow back" - it's more that existing skin on the cock is gradually stretched to make a new foreskin. Bear in mind that decades of being cut will have left the head of your cock "tougher" than one that has been covered virtually all the time like an uncut one would be. So your head won't be as sensitive as it would have been if you'd never been cut. There's anecdotal evidence that the head skin can become more sensitive, eventually, but I don't know of any studies documenting this. -
For people who take the pill *every day*, *without fail*, that is correct. There are plenty of people who miss doses of medication, even knowing they're extremely important. Life has a way of getting in the way. You build a schedule around taking it at lunch with your meal, for instance, and you forget it at home one day when you're eating out. By the time you're home again, you've forgotten because it's not in your routine to take it in the evening, so you miss a dose. Or you take it each morning at work with a quick breakfast or your first cup of coffee, but ooops, it's Monday morning, you were running late, and you forgot your pills at home. Tuesday mornings, you're used to the pills being at work for the week, and you forget to grab them because it's not your Tuesday routine. Ooops, you've missed two doses. Or you're used to taking it each morning while you get your desk sorted for the day, but this morning, you arrived to an "all hands on deck" meeting that you have to go straight into. You're not comfortable taking medication in front of your coworkers, so you decide you'll take it later, during lunch break. Only lunch ends up being sandwiches brought into the conference room and everyone works through lunch. It's so crazy you don't think about it until you're on your way home at seven o'clock and realize the pills are in your desk at work. That's why regular testing is important. Because people screw up. They make mistakes. Life gets in the way.
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Foreskin - Wish You Had It? Wish You Didn't Have It?
BootmanLA replied to rawTOP's topic in General Discussion
I would suggest you discuss this with a urologic specialist, one who doesn't think circumcision is automatically the right solution. There are kits I've seen out there for guys to restore a foreskin. They appear to have a cone-like thing you place over the head of the cock, and then you pull up whatever skin is left and use something akin to athletic tape to attach it to the cone - basically, putting some gradual stretch to the foreskin. Over a period of time, eventually the remaining skin grows through stretching, just as your skin grows when you gain weight, and is able to cover the head eventually. It's *possible* some sort of stretching like that might work for you, especially combined with some sort of lotion or cream that keeps the skin from splitting or tearing. It would be worth exploring, if you haven't already, with someone who's open to alternative ways to treat this. -
For the record: I'm not saying 18 should necessarily be a solid age everywhere under all circumstances. My own recommended approach is a multi-level concept. First, there's a floor, below which there's simply no consent available. Maybe that's 12, maybe that's 13, maybe that's 14. I'd defer to professionals (developmental psychologists, for instance). Above that floor, until both parties reach the full age of majority, a sex partner can be no more than two years' age difference or there's no consent possible. That levels the playing field, so to speak, somewhat; it allows the sixteen-year old boy to have a fifteen-year old girlfriend, but not one who's less than fourteen. It allows a twelve-year old boy and his thirteen-year old cousin to experiment sexually without fear of a prison record but keeps a 17-year old Scout leader from being able to molest a 13-year old scout. Below that, consent is impossible. And as always, there would be special limits for those whose developmental status precludes consent - for instance, a 16-year old girl who has the mental age of six (for whatever reason) doesn't count as 16 for those purposes. At some point, that developmentally hindered person will become an adult, and that's another bridge we'll have to cross - balancing the rights of those persons with disabilities with the state's responsibility to care for them. But those are rare enough cases that can be saved for another day.
