NWUSHorny

I'm not aware of any detailed agreement on what is explicitly allowed at Slammer's other locations, especially with regard to what actually is happening in the darkrooms. The issue in the other thread was that a lot of men aren't comfortable with what does go on in those darkrooms and aren't welcome because of it. Which brings up the regional aspect, the handsy behavior that is inherent in darkrooms isn't generally acceptable in the PNW, and I can vouch that when Hawks tried having a darkroom in Portland it definitely led to both confrontations and preemptively and repeatedly announcing loud enough for the entire fuckjoint to hear "I DON'T FUCK" when entering the darkroom, it quickly becomes an environment where no one fucks. I actually like what my favorite orgy venue in LA has posted outside of their darkroom, something to the effect of, you are free to grope, you will be groped, no lights, no talking and enjoy! I don't think something like that would fly in the PNW. The space is only big enough to accommodate around a dozen guys, but someone like me I can count on walking out with empty balls and a cummy hole if I spend more than 15 minutes in there. The darkrooms and other group play areas at Slammer LA, and Club 541 aren't quite as good but they are close.

Based on my personal experience is that it is somewhat regional, there are definitely places that couldn't support a sex club or bathhouse that is setup primarily for group sex, and other regions where they have multiple thriving venues for that very thing. The PNW is one of the regions where it doesn't happen, and I think it would be difficult to curate even a small group to have that kind of orgy on a regular basis. That is pretty much against local etiquette here. Even offering can be problematic here, there are a lot of "sides" that don't even do oral, plus a lot of committed bottoms that consider their dick to be off limits, both of which are likely to make a scene if you even offer.

I mostly agree, however if you are waving a hard dick around in a darkroom or in rarer cases group play spaces, you can expect to get groped and if you don't stop them have your dick guided into their mouth or ass, I don't resist and usually wind up fucking them at least briefly. I have an orgy that I like to go to in LA that literally has a list of what you are consenting to posted outside their darkroom, one of the advisories is you are free to grope and will be groped, and one of the rules is no talking, so there is no verbal consent. The last line on the notice is "enjoy!", and I do whole heartedly every chance I get. I've never had a guy that I don't know at all walk up and shove his dick up my ass uninvited other than when I'm bent over or legs up in an group play space, but have had guys who I have gotten to know intimately that will walk up and shove their dick up my ass while I'm fucking or sucking another guy at an orgy. Rather than make a scene telling them NO I always make sure I thank them one way or another quite often by trading places with them every few minutes. There are some of us that really do enjoy both positions and flipping with the same guy. None of those things happen very often at orgies or sex venues in the PNW, I won't force myself on anyone, but standing around for hours watching guys pose and get blue balls in a sexually charged atmosphere with absolutely no actual sex happening, which is the norm here, frustrates me and can see that it could drive some guys to push it to try to get something started more than is acceptable by local custom. Presenting as open as you possibly can, does present problems, the poster on the other thread gets guys trying to fuck themselves on him, which actually welcome. I get guys that either just start having what I consider pointless foreplay with me or try to insist we go somewhere more private to have foreplay or something even less than foreplay.

I was beefy and covered with a full pelt a fine blonde almost transparent hair by the time I was 20. I don't deal well with heat.

I would have been 20 the 1st time I had my ass eaten and ate ass.

An interesting discussion has arisen out of this thread about orgies and group sex. While I don't think the answer can or should be the same for every orgy or venue that hosts gay group sex should be the same, you simply cannot be inclusive for everyone and allow everyone to get what they need and are looking for. For some background the discussion is in my opinion around free for all orgy action. Another poster and I live in very similar gay sex cultures currently, but my formative experiences were in a very different environment. That environment does still exist in some cities. I really miss certain behaviors where consent can generally be implied, that are generally culturally prohibited here in the PNW, but the point has been made that not all orgy goers will find that situation acceptable, and I generally agree with him that the behaviors discussed are never acceptable under the accepted rules of engagement anywhere in the PNW. So here are my questions: How should you establish the rules of consent if you are hosting an orgy or operating a sex venue? Is posting some general rules sufficient? In the other thread, I cited an orgy in LA that has rules posted outside their darkroom that advises those entering that their consent is implied. I also cited 4 sex clubs/bathhouses, half of which are no longer open where consent for that kind of behavior has long been implied, but was not or has not specifically been spelled out. While having a bottom suddenly impale himself on my dick did surprise and stun me the 1st time it happened to me, I actually enjoyed it and have sought out situatiins where it can happen ever since, where as other posters compared it to rape. Is it necessary for every gay orgy sex venue to be inclusive and accepting of every gay interest and position? There are a lot of guys at orgies and at sex venues in the PNW that are pretty adamant that no one touch their cock either because they are a form of gay side or a committed total bottom, which in my opinion generally runs contrary to the basic concept of darkroom sex and quite a few other gay group sex situations. I know it isn't what I'm looking for in a free for all orgy, but everyone does have right to say no. I also think we should be able to find or create those situations with other like minded individuals. Any other thoughts or ideas on how to attain consent for group free for all orgies or should they be prohibited entirely?

The locker room in the intermural rec facility was cruisy, but most of the action took place in the steam sauna. I still can't manage having sex for more than 30 seconds in a steam sauna before tapping out, so it wasn't one of my haunts unless I was there to use the pool.

I think it is a combination of disclosure and consent, the orgy venue I mentioned in LA, seems to be making an attempt to resolve the issue by posting a sign outside their darkroom (I can provide you a link to their website in private chat if you are going to be in LA and are interested in checking it out, I don't post it publicly but have shared it privately with several guys on BZ that I think would enjoy that kind of orgy), but I have never seen anything like that elsewhere. Should the other venues and events be providing the disclosure? If you know upfront before entering the space is implied consent, I don't personally see it as an issue. I personally actually seek it out, and definitely prefer doing it in a way where everyone doesn't have to feel like their walking on eggshells all the time. Not every event and venue has to be inclusive to every variation on gay sex, and some of really do enjoy orgies that are basically free for alls. The lack of those free for all situations is a primary driver of my complaints about the gay hookup culture in the PNW, a real effort has been made to keep everything inclusive, and some of us are frustrated because that inclusive environment does not allow us to do what we enjoy with other like minded individuals. There are places in the world where what I like and what I think @muscmtl likes is fairly easily found, or at least there has been in the past. If you prefer orgies that are gangbangs, where there are designated bottoms and everyone else is there to top, go to those events. I have gone a few times as one of the tops, but as a versatile guy it doesn't really meet my needs and desires. There are a lot of them posted on the hookup apps in some cities. I would say that they are welcome if they are willing to go along with the implied rules of engagement, in instances where it isn't a blackout situation most of them appear to be having a good time. I will admit they won't be my favorite fellow participants, but if they're ass up there is a very good chance I will fuck them. As long as they are actively participating I'm certainly not going to make them feel unwelcome. Bottoms in chastity are fairly rare at those events and venues in my experience. I did see at least one guy standing around in chastity at Club 541 when I was in Palm Springs a month ago, but he wasn't participating the the sexual melee that was happening at least when I noticed him. I'm still seeing a few of them at bathhouses and events here in Portland, but nothing like a couple of years ago when they were all the rage. They draw a lot of attention, but my observation was that the attention wasn't coming from tops or versatile men, which if they really are trying to get fucked it is probably counter productive.