He is divorced. We have been naked together as kids being curious . When I stay over at his house, we do sleep in the same bed. I have wanted many time to put my arms around him and tell him that I want to make him feel good. But I “chicken out”.
I feel that he is my soul mate.
One time years ago, he got very drunk and I have to take him home and help him into the bed. When I got him undressed, he got a hard on and I rubbed his cock and it got harder. I did suck his cock for about 15 minutes. I know he was awake but he just kept his eyes closed and squirmed around some and he did not stop me. I never said anything about that night. I would love to relive that night over and over.
We never discussed that night.
over time, I have tried to bring up topics about gay guys and he would make negative comments. One comment he has said is, “If that is what they want to do, that is their business as long as they do not bother me”. With that comment, I am scared to death to tell him that I am gay. If I lost his friendship, I will be so depressed.
i even that I would write a note to a fake person about meeting and maybe having sex. Then accidentally leave it in his house for him to find latter. Then, maybe he will approach me about me being gay.
what do you think?