What is it REALLY like to be positive?

[starlads]

Hi all! First of all, I'd really like to thank rawtop for this fantastic website - not only is it really informative, but it's also so hot reading what everyone else is up to.

My bf and I love bareback fucking and have been doing it for years, not only with each other, but with other guys that we pick up. We've kina been sero-sorting and, whilst I know it's not a fool-proof way of staying safe, so far, so good.

However, recently, we've taken our fantasies to another level and have talked about taking all loads - including poz ones. Whilst this is really hot to think about, especially when fucking each other, I was just curious as to what positive life is like and whether it is worth being open to all loads. Some people I've spoken to have said that they just take one pill a day and that they don't expect any real reduction in life-expectancy, but other have said how they are not afflicted with different ailments and regret contractiing HIV.

Basically, I'd just like to know what your guys' take is on the issue, so that we can, at least, make an informed decision to take all loads.

Thanks for any responses we get!

[Guest BBSeroMan]

Makes me horny as a fuck to blow loads in holes constantly. Crave cunt daily for poz inseminations.

[GermanFucker]

The best way is to have a number of poz friends and acquaintances in real life. Ideally some where there is no sexual attraction. Because if somebody wants to fuck you, he'll try to present himself in a good way, hiding all the little problems. And guys on the internet don't count. Men can tell anything on the internet. The hottest fucker might actually be a virgin, so always beware if something sounds too good to be true.

I have poz friends that are a picture of health and they're very cool with being poz, too. Others have a constant stream of health problems, always some little thing, from depression to problems with the digestive tract, etc. One of my friends almost died because of HIV (not because of AIDS itself, but because HIV allowed an agressive cancer to take hold), despite all the new meds. He's a sweet, optimistic guy and enjoys when I seed his ass, but yeah, he'd much prefer to be neg.

When all you know about being poz is frome the internet, you are probably not ready.

[totalasspig]

Turned me into a bigger cumdump then I used to be. I take any load, any time and no longer need to worry if that is the load that is going to infect me - the infection is there.

No Fear, HIV, AIDS or STD's - I have gotten fucked raw thousands of times, I have paid for it many times over with STD's and would never give it up. The Freedom to have anyone cum in your ass without someone looking for a condom and wanting to fuck in the heat of the moment is the best when your poz. NO REGRETS!! My ASS is always open for business :-)

[Tucsonmale]

It's a mixed bag of fustrations, having strong feelings for a guy that is neg and you know that a sexual relations will put him at risk. That makes a difficult choice for him too. It is fucking mentality draining as to how to handle it. Using a rubber will not work for me.

Having aids creates many issues too, but we have to learn to survive around that. Just having poz friends or fucks is not enough for me. Poz guys have different emotions and wants/likes.

[Guest Porthos]

I've been poz for 4 years. Not to sugar coat it, but I've never been sick..I never had a low CD4 count (511) and a moderate viral load, but I started meds right away. Atripla...1 pill per day, no side effects. I see my doc 3 times a year. No anxiety about being pozzed anymore. Other than that, no change

[rubio2001]

Don't forget about health insurance. If you live in a country that has universal or government sponsored healthcare that is one thing. If not, and you are at the whim of the private sector, then it's a completely different story. Depending on which HIV medication you are on it can cost upwards to thousands of dollars PER MONTH. It's not sexy, but you need to think that through how those drugs are going to get purchased, especially how that will play out LONG AFTER the turn on to getting poz has worn itself out. Unless there is a cure you are like poison to all health insurance companies.

[Guest Porthos]

I have good health insurance...Under Obam's health reform you cannot be turned down for a pre existing condition....a cure is at least a decade away...if at all

[TonyRedux]

u will most certainly age faster if poz, and be susceptible to greater instability in ur health, and ur life expectancy will certainly decrease. how much any of this happens will vary based upon ur highest viral load, ur lowest t-cell count, ur genetics, any other health issues u may have, the genetics of ur virus, ur stress-level and lifestyle, and random dumb luck. i advise staying neg and finding a way to enjoy sexual freedom n raw sex without converting...perhaps PrEP might be right for u.

i know rawtop and others r very much against PrEP, and i find this utterly misguided, but i'll let someone else throw down a gauntlet b4 i argue about it.

i do indeed enjoy greater sexual freedom than at any previous time in my life, but it took me a few years of experiencing the darker side of being poz before getting to this point...i could never make light of the matter. i would much rather have taken Truvada daily than the huge cocktail off drugs i take now...but i have a good handle on evolutionary biology and the science of drug-resistance.

one theme i consistently try to make in HIV-activist circles is that they had better start charting a path toward HIV-prevention that does not solely depend on the utterly crippled sexual sensation and manifold psychological hang-ups of condom-usage, and that general chemoprophylaxis is emerging as the solution in the absence of activist creativity (nanotechnologically-constructed condoms, anyone?). Test and Treat, PEP and PrEP r all modalities of HIV-infection prevention that remind us of the real glory of sex, which we all need to remember is a basic human desire that can never be eternally suppressed.

Edited January 8, 2012 by TonyRedux

[rubio2001]

I have good health insurance...Under Obam's health reform you cannot be turned down for a pre existing condition....a cure is at least a decade away...if at all

They key is, "I have good health insurance." Many do not, especially younger people. And even though you may not be able to be turned down for a pre-existing condition that doesn't mean the the insurance company isn't going to charge you an arm and a leg for coverage. You most likely will be forced into some type of state mandated high risk pool, at least until the next phase of the new health care law goes in effect in the US goes which I believe isn't until 2014. That's assuming a Republican doesn't get in office and try to dismantle the entire thing. It's not sexy, but health insurance is to me the absolute biggest factor that comes with getting HIV. Lose your job, heck have a job that doesn't offer health insurance, and you are in a world of hurt.

[evilqueerpig]

Starlads, this is a decision that you and your bf need to make together...I was diagnosed POZ on Friday, August 13th, 1999 and I've remained healthy. The euphemism "knocked up" is popular right now, so with that in mind, there's no such thing as being a little bit POZ. With the cocktail, HIV is no longer a death sentence, but it's still a life sentence. Please, let us know what you decide to do, and should it be to take all loads, tell us if you convert.

[onlyraw]

I like that "HIV is no longer a death sentence, but it is still a life sentence" the meds now are a lot better and easier than in the old days, but they are still a pill you have to take EVERY day (if you are lucky enough to be able to take a one a day pill) and trust me, after 13 years that gets to be a real drag. and insurance is a real biggie. I am lucky that I have a job with good insurance, but I also know that I will not be able to retire as soon as others because who know what the Republicans will do to Medicare, and I am sure that there will be some Rx copays and I need to save up for those.

But I will admit that unprotected sex is a lot more enjoyable that with condoms (actally I can't really stay hard enough with one on to fuck a guy these days - not to mention being able to cum with one on no matter how thin and 'sensitive' it is- so I need to do it raw if I want to top). So, while I do find some of the conversion stories hot, and even some of the stealth stories hot, I really don't get the why someone who is healthy would want this.

Edited January 9, 2012 by Hotload84

[sadrudefuturedude]

This is all very good information, however I do tend to find that this site is very US orientated and comments about the reality of being poz often revolve around that fact that you are responsible for paying your own health care.

I for one would be very interested to hear from people that live in a country with free health care especially those in the UK.

[mikealec]

The UK does well, with all meds free, and I have a wonderful doctor at the clinic who I've been seeing for years. I was fine for several years, but reached a stage where I was passing out. They changed the meds, and that doesn't happen now. Whether our new government, keen on saving money, will change that is not clear right now, but they system gives me the freedom I need for raw sex. Americans are crazy to vote against such a system.

[rawTOP]

Related to the cost of meds - remember that at some point the drug companies will lose their patent on the current ARVs. I'm sure they'll come out with new and better ones, but at that point a generation all the current ones (which seem to be pretty decent) will become FAR less expensive. I'm sure doctors will start prescribing the cheap ones to people with minimal or no insurance and the new expensive ones will just be for the people with good health insurance. So at some point being poz will be far less costly than it is currently.