Those who have HIV how do you really feel? there is a disconect....

[Male22192]

Fuck no. I'm a service provider. HIV+ Transmission Specialist. ALWAYs ROCK HARD. Total sexpig. Huge umedicated loads for gifting.

I wonder?!? Other then one person saying so, for someone that says they are so well versed in it, there isn't much evidence to prove your track record. From my experience in dealing w/ poz tops towards neg bottoms, they are a lot of talk and not much action.

[Male22192]

Yeah he needs a relationship. But definitely the tubs here have changed, even a few years ago bareback was not done openly or acknowleged. So guys who go infrequntly, like my friend, are often shocked. It has had a bad effect on business. There's 4 tubs that 10 years ago would have been all busy 7 nights a week. Now midweek is often dead. I went to my regular place Tuesday night and there was only about 12 guys, half of those the over 65 crowd who just come to watch the game on the bigscreen TV. I ended up just hanging with them.

Are you in Canada? I thought Canada had a very big barebacking community?!? There seems to be a lot of poz guys there?!?

[Inception]

Are you in Canada? I thought Canada had a very big barebacking community?!? There seems to be a lot of poz guys there?!?

Depends where you are, most of the country is small, rural communities. But yes, like the US, more poz guys in major cities. But Metro Vancouver is the third largest metropolitan area in Canada, yet still only has a population of about 2.2 million. The whole country has a population of about 34 million. According to latest statistics at the end of 2008 there were an estimated 65,000 people in Canada living with HIV.

Compare this to California which has an area close to that of just the province of British Columbia yet has a population of about 37.3 million and an estimated 67,505 cases of HIV (data through April 30, 2009). (from http://www.cdph.ca.gov/programs/aids/Documents/EvolutionofAIDS.pdf) Population wise these are similar statistics, just the populaton here is spread out more.

In Vancouver about 25% of gay men are estimated to be HIV postive. 40% of HIV cases are in gay men, though another 20% are in men who have not reported their risk factors, so assume 60% from gay sex.

Edited March 16, 2012 by Inception

[AlwaysOpen]

Back to the question at hand; how do you feel, is there a disconnect. Hell yes there is a disconnect. Unless you are deep into a circle of guys who play all the time, you tend to hunt around the edges looking for others not in the " pack" . For me, single now 12 years and 55 -well, almost 56- working fulltime and not really a bar goer, that limits the choices. Gay men in this beach city are in love with the tourist- strange fresh meat with no intentions of getting serious or even remembering each others names after 5 or six days of hedonism. I can get laid at the sex club- often by an older, also alone man who is just looking for an outlet. Or by a tourist, looking for sex he doesn't get at home from his boyfriend or wife.

As far as me- I have been poz (known by testing) since 1987, although my pozzing happened in 84 I am fairly certain. Whenever I get a flu or cold, I head in to the doctors- not that he can do much for a cold, but to assure myself that it doesn't progress. This week my throat got sore and my sinuses got infected from allergies. Once upon a time I probably would have weathered it out- now, I do the Dr and make sure it doesn't open the doorway for something else to get established and weaken my immune system. A mild infection was detected, antibiotic ordered, and I was on my way-- but the shadow of the HIV hangs overhead with each bruise, cough or lazy do nothing day. Oh yeah- another thing- if you are neg today, and want to make some investments in life insurance for the long term, do it now before you convert. Once you get sick and tested poz, you can forget about any insurance policies, or in many cases of ever leaving the job you are in today. After all, if you quit, what will you do for health insurance? And a new employer, as a part of the hiring screening, can filter you out in the physical part of the hiring process. I would love to retire at 55, but cannot- I need the insurance to cover my ass for the meds ( they still cost me $200 for a 3 month supply- without insurance, it would be almost $2300)

Do I regret being poz? Sure. But, I AM poz, so it is what it is-- I have come to realize I don't always see the purpose of something at the time I am living it- but I always see how things in the past fit together to bring clarity to my lifes path and where I am at the moment. Maybe being poz has been a blessing I have not come to wrap my head totally around- yet.

[lower_bucks_bottom]

AlwaysOpen: I don't know what meds you are on, but I was on Atripla and am now on Truvada and Isentress and in all cases I was able to go to their web sites and get a "copay assistance" card that paid my co pay up to $200 a month or $2300 a year. So between my insurance and these cards I pay nothing. This might be a way for you to save that $200 every 3 months.

[rawcumbiguy]

that is the biggest problem with being poz is the meds are really expensive even with insurance they can run you a lot of money. i know if you have no insurance you can try and get ryan white care to pay for everything but most states have cut funding for it creating long waiting lists for care unless you become really sick. being poz is a big gamble

[HungLatinDom]

This site is a fucking fantasy. Nobody should really believe it. It may be hot but nobody in their right mind should seek getting infected with HIV. It can really be deadly... sometimes even if you can afford your medicines and/or you get them for free.

Really guys just use your head and make it clear that it's a fantasy!! You may be screwing somebody's life. That's not cool, really!

Sorry, you are completely wrong.

There are real biugchasers and the HIV experience is not the same for everybody. I understand that you don't want people to get pozzed, but, get real and accept that some people are into it.

[tin]

I wasn't really into 'barebacking', and was never a bug chaser. I generally had a good track record with safer-sex, but now and then I did fuck without a condom. Seriously, I can probably count the # of people I've had bareback sex with on one hand. So, with that in mind, my answers..

1. Do you regret it? I talked to several poz men over the past month all of them regret it. One guy wants to poz me but he is realistic about the medications and what they do to his body. The medication is expensive (in the united states)

Regret may be the wrong word, but also the closest one. I'd rather not be HIV+ - it adds an unessicary complication to my life, more doctor appointments, more meds, etc. If I ever end up single again - it will complicate my dating life. Finding sex while HIV+ is easy, finding a relationship? that might be another story. While I don't think I was ever 'low risk', I did feel like I was mitigating my risk decently. Finding out I was HIV+ was a huge shock to me, and took me quite a few months to come to terms with.

Maybe if I was slutting it up every weekend, BBing all the time, etc - my mindset would be different. But, after being in a mongamish relationship - very few partners other than my boyfriend, and even less of those were unprotected - meh...

2. Is it really sexually liberating. I would imagine the pozzing fuck itself would be intense. There is someting powerful about truly giving your ass up in the ultimate way. But what about the day after?

For me, I have almost found it to be the opposite - I still get wigged out about other STDs, and frankly I don't want to add Hep-C to the list. Every time I've tried to indulge a little and say 'fuck it, go for it, your already HIV+', I get paranoid about Syph, Ghon, Chlamydia, or Hep C. Even though the first 3 are treatable - they are a pain (and you are getting more resistant strains of Gonorrhoea that are getting harder to treat).

3. What happens when a cute neg boy is interested in dating you? LIke i am in this position now. there is a chance that i am poz. So i kinda been putting him off until i get tested again and know for sure.

Play safe? let them know you've done high risk stuff - and take things from there.

One thing you need to keep in mind - Most people on this site seem to have a fetish for HIV and/or bare backing (and accept HIV as a likely outcome of their activities). There are not that many people on here that will be 'well..wait a minute' and give you the other point of view.

What you are asking here, is almost like going to a Justin Bieber message board and asking 'Hey, how do you feel about Justin Bieber?', obviously your answers are going to be biased. Go to other message boards like, TheBody, or Poz.com - and you will see a far wider range of opinions on there, as it tends to be about dealing with / living with / supporting those who are HIV+, without fetishishing it.

Edited March 20, 2012 by tin

[rsidebb]

Have to say that I totally regret my bad decisions. I was thinking about my nows over my laters and it took over. Love bb sex, love older white men in PS, but most im attracted to are poz and I guess my poor decisions and dropping inhibitions lead to this new life changing experience.

[Guest FinalDL2021]

On ‎3‎/‎13‎/‎2012 at 4:34 PM, adam4adam said:

Those who have HIV how do you really feel? there seems to be a disconect between what i read here and what i here fron HIV positive men offline

I was a bug chaser until i met my first HIV+ postive man from there not only did i stop bb but gave up bug chasing...i did mess up once and got bred but i went from getting bred by different men about two 3 times a week, from just poor judgment and once within the past two months...for me that an accomplisment

but i still struggle with the wanting to be poz. i feel once i get it i can finally stop worrying but my questions are

1. Do you regret it? I talked to several poz men over the past month all of them regret it. One guy wants to poz me but he is realistic about the medications and what they do to his body. The medication is expensive (in the united states)

2. Is it really sexually liberating. I would imagine the pozzing fuck itself would be intense. There is someting powerful about truly giving your ass up in the ultimate way. But what about the day after?

3. What happens when a cute neg boy is interested in dating you? LIke i am in this position now. there is a chance that i am poz. So i kinda been putting him off until i get tested again and know for sure.

I have so many other questions but i dont want to bother this forum since i am no longer chasing. I do miss my slutty days but like someone here said i alone can control my destiny, but the thought of taking a charge load still turns me on.

I kind of go down this list of questions myself, I am weighing out Pro's & Con's.  I am not implying that I am suicidal, yet now in my early 50's, most of my big lifetime goals and achievements are behind me, I don't feel there is any major event I am really going to miss out on personally, I don't have any children to take care of me when I get old, and my parents are about 5-7 years away from passing on; the only two people that would really be impacted. My country is in a down-ward spiral, both culturally, and politically, and I feel, with my healthy lifestyle, I can foresee,  a fairly long incubation period.

Now, the down-side,  disclosing my status to health officials like doctors and dentist, I am Bisexual, so what if I end up meeting a women I really like, what if I am wrong about my incubation/ healthy lifestyle theory, and symptoms come up suddenly. and finally, what if Deep-State, or the government control apparatus, decides to put me in a Concentration camp.

 

 

[Hornyone]

1. Do you regret it? I talked to several poz men over the past month all of them regret it. One guy wants to poz me but he is realistic about the medications and what they do to his body. The medication is expensive (in the united states)

Hmm do I regret it?  I would say yes more so at the beginning but after the years just learned to live with it. I would never purposely become poz, not judging just being realistic it aint easy.

 

2. Is it really sexually liberating. I would imagine the pozzing fuck itself would be intense. There is someting powerful about truly giving your ass up in the ultimate way. But what about the day after? 

Again at the beginning no, but as the years passed yes.  I was not a chaser and definitely not looking to become poz, but it happened and now I just really enjoy getting fucked bare and taking loads. There is just something about getting loads in your ass. I have a fantasy now to just become a cumdump, but I still have a little fear in me.

 

3. What happens when a cute neg boy is interested in dating you? LIke i am in this position now. there is a chance that i am poz. So i kinda been putting him off until i get tested again and know for sure.

This is the real tough part! I cannot tell you how many guys have blocked me or just disappeared after I told them I was poz. It is really tough when you have to decide when to tell them. I usually well tell them as soon as possible so there are no surprises. It is slowly changing but there is still a lot of stigmatism towards HIV + guys.

[KYRiley]

On 9/27/2019 at 11:21 PM, Futile2Resist said:

Now, the down-side,  disclosing my status to health officials like doctors and dentist, I am Bisexual, so what if I end up meeting a women I really like, what if I am wrong about my incubation/ healthy lifestyle theory, and symptoms come up suddenly. and finally, what if Deep-State, or the government control apparatus, decides to put me in a Concentration camp.

Personally, I'd use a condom with females and not take the risk.

I know the country is f'd up but concentration camps for HIV + people??  OMG!

[KYRiley]

I'm curious what ended up as a result of this for the OP!!!

[poztwink]

HIV feels like a pill a day. 

[sthrnguy]

9 hours ago, poztwink said:

HIV feels like a pill a day. 

Yup... What he said.  I am probably healthier than 90% of guys my age.  No regrets at all.