Are Bottoms 'Less than Men'?

[Deaner]

There is a quote that has been attributed to everyone from Betty White to Cloris Leachman, "Why do people say "grow some balls"? Balls are weak and sensitive! If you really wanna get tough, grow a vagina. Those things take a pounding."

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

If you use the phrase 'less manly' instead of 'less of a man' (which is what the people who are saying that mean) then yes, bottoms do tend to be less manly. But it's a bit like women - there are some women that are more masculine than some men. But on average I'd say tops tend to be more manly, and bottoms less manly. But again, that depends on the individual. I've met masculine bottoms and presumably there are feminine tops out there too...

Sorry but that is just BS. I would challenge you in any setting and most would identify me as "butch" or "manly" over you rawTOP. Whether I fuck or get fucked has not one thing to do with "being manly" or "being a man". That whole notion is reflective of the perverse nature of ours, and many other societies; that somehow what we do in the bedroom defines WHO we are.

As you have experienced, I to have met effeminate tops and rather macho bottoms. But the notion that "bottoms are less manly" or "tops are more manly" is utter crap. We would do well to drop simplistic thinking that puts individuals into one category or another based on a single metric.

[Bttm2go]

I guess I think the bottom is more of a man than the top. Why? Because the bottom has to open up and take it. Sometimes for hours at a time or with multiple dicks. Most tops poop out after dropping their load or they have to go rest. bottoms are like bunnies and can keep on going. i find bottoms far hotter than tops. They are also more fun and know how to fuck. When I bottom I don't mind being used. That can be really hot. But I tend to be equal to the top when I get fucked. Also, most guys assume I'm a top until I'm sliding my hole down on their cock.

[DemonicSexDrive]

Absolutely NOT! I totally agree with Madonna when she said, "It takes more of a man to take a cock than it does to give one." I think bottoms are much stronger men than tops. Well look at how many bad tops there are out there. Sheesh.

[open_hole_24_7 Lion]

Here we go again. In part I suspect the confusion stems from our cultures obsession with male dominance. In Rome NO adult roman male would admit to getting fucked or enjoying it either.Roman men were penetrants young boys or male slaves were for fucking.Any Roman man who allowed it to be known He liked to get fucked would be so derided that he would loss all social standing.Many of our attitudes are based in that mentality. I am a very dominant person.I prefer to be in control. I do not submit well to anyone. I top more than bottom. I do not even really enjoy getting fucked all that much. But I do totally enjoy getting cum up my ass. It's The load I'm after not the fuck. When bottoming I am a real wimp I do not want to be pounded or backwalld I want a quick thrust & dump. So I seldom get as much cum as I would like since most "Tops" want me to submit or beg. YEAH I'm a pushy bastard & picky as to treatment as to who I will do I ain't never been picky If it has a handle in front is vertical & sucking wind I'll do it.

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

True open_hole_24_7 Lion. It seems just in the last week or two there has been a spate of this oversimplification of what defines us. NPR had a bit the other day about trends of Facebook "likes" and how that discloses information about us. And at least in that case; it was the composition of a few dozen "likes". So there is at least some validity to the claim... And even in that show it was clear that it wasn't THE indicator, just opened the range of possibilities.

My problem with the opening question (premise?) is of any one human behavior DEFINIING all of who an individual is. Sure, there is human precident from BC times where the receiver was considered to be less. But even then; it was an oversimplification and even then, there were surely many otherwise strong gladiators who took it up the ass from time to time; just less publicly so as to preserve their reputation.

We seem to have a rapidly developing culture where we're willing to take one attribute of our fellows and ascribe an entire dossier around that one thing. If one wears a "hoodie" they have to be a thug (and not simply chilly). If they wear pants low they are actually looking to get fucked; and not just following a trend without knowledge of the history. If one is fat they are stupid. If one wears glasses they are smart. All things like this are single metric judgements and are thus largely WRONG.

If the opening question was "are SOME bottoms less of a man?"; then sure, that is true. But then; what is "less of a man"?

[AgentColby]

I cringe at this stereotype that if a gay man is a bottom, he just be feminine or less than a man. I do not think taking dick is a feminine act. We can argue its a submissive act but submission doesn't equal femininity or lack of masculinity. In my own personal life I am a bottom but there's nothing feminine about me. I'm masculine guy and my mannerism and interest are those applied to men. While in my professional life I'm controlling, direct, and aggressive, in my sexual and personal life, I'm not. Sexually I'm a bottom because I like someone else in control and to be the director. With all that said I'm not less of a man or feminine.

[Tailgunner]

Masculine/feminine Top/bottom is taken from heterosexual sex because the man penetrates the woman and fucks her so it's often carried over to gay action where the more-masculine guy is 'naturally' considered the man in the relationship, is dominant and takes the man's role in a sex act while the 'less-masculine' guy is considered the woman in a relationship, is submissive and takes the woman's role in a sex act and that many consider the average Top as more masculine than the average bottom.

In addition, many in the vanilla straight world consider straight couples who do 'strap-on' action as 'wierd' and kinky because the husband and wife are reversing the sexual roles.

Many who have their personal or peer 'standards' consider others outside of those standards as substandard.

Much of this 'reinforcement' of sex roles, masculinity and femininity, strong vs. weak, dominant/submissive, etc. starts when we were kids in the playground and continues throughout childhood, teen years, young adult, adulthood and clear on into old age because it's the 'status quo' and violating it is considered the first sin.

Of course the masc.-fem./Top/bottom stereotype just isnt always true and many masculine men like to be the bottom, some for fellow masculine men, while others will submit to a somewhat fem Top just as some Tops who may look and act fem will "man-up" or "butch-up" as some would say and be the Top in sex acts.

One guy whose mouth and ass gave many of us men and our dicks much pleasure put someone in his place in an alley behind a bar, finishing the job by saying, "You can fuck me but dont fuck with me!"

Most of my conquests were plain normal looking and acting men whom I call man enough to suck a cock or take it up the ass, and perform other bottom acts. I have fucked big bruiser hairy bearded bears whom some would say looked twice as manly as I did when I was young because back then I was on the slender side, sported the longish hair most guys my age had back then and couldnt get up a decent beard until my early twenties. Many of have tried both Top and bottom roles and chose our preference from those initial experiences. That's the way I and other men found our calling as Tops, how other men found their calling as bottoms and how others found they liked being versatile. Some versatiles I knew would be the bottom for the masculine men and the Top for the 'less masculine' men, as well as 69 and trade fucks with men their own 'level' of masculinity and with some others who wanted to enjoy versatile action.

The great thing is that I had many bottoms and versatiles who enjoyed my talents as a Top.

The thing is, you cant judge a book by its cover because nobody is 'properly labeled' like a City Of Commerce Municipal Bus.

A large and continuing part of the problem is how the less than tolerant heterosexuals see gays in general, which also inspires many gay men who would prefer being "unisex" to keep masculine or 'butch it up' when outside of the gay environments and venues where they can "let their hair down'.