AgentColby

When people say "it's hard to navigate", they do not have a specific call out. Things you have grown used to aren't where they used to be. When sites you visit regularly update, changes layouts and design, it is not always pleasing to the eyes, especially when the previous version was just fine. A lot of guys may not be a fan of the new site because they just aren't used to it yet and that is to be expected. I have been on many forums where the owner changes the design/layout and few things happen: people hate it (often), love it (not often), indifferent (mostly) and they make decisions based on their feelings. Some visit the site less, some stop coming, and some do not make any changes. People just need time to get used to it, the new features, and the placements. I would say look at the traffic. If it is down, perhaps it has to do with the new design. Eventually people will just get used to the new layout.

I think you should re-read some of my posts as I in now way said ALL white guys. I did say more than average but it would be unfair to say all white guys are the same, as they are not

I have a "tramp stamp" myself and love it. I plan to get it re-colored and have something added to it. That being said, I do not think I like the #bbbh as a tramp stamp. If someone wants a stamp with a message, it has to be conveyed and understandable to those who see it or at least understadable to the group of ppl you are trying to reach out. If someone wants a stamp conveying their love for BB, a bio hazard or some script saying "bareback" would be more understandable. My stamp is tribal design. I like it but if I were to turn back the clock, I would've gotten something different. In fact, I would love to get something that says "bareback ride" but in French. I love stamps on guys and it is a major turn on for me.

Thank You for your reply and sharing your thoughts. I think you kind of got my point but not really. Let me start by saying that I have not rejected or closed myself off to white men. I simply no longer go out of my way to approach them. I no longer wish to hear "not into blacks" or experince rejection based on my race and because of that, I have chosen to not go out of my way to approach white men. If a white guy approaches me, that is fine and I am open to seeing where it goes. Only exception is when I go to Europe. There I am comfortable approaching white men b/c the issue of race is almost non existant. I have had far far more luck in Europe. To comment on some of your points: "Weight vs Race": Although I understand the rejection based on race, I can not say that race and weight rejection are the same. One can change their weight. If I were overweight and men did not like it, simple solution would be to lose the weight. Flip side, I can not change my race. Yes, I stated that white gay men are ignorant but I clearly was not saying all white men. Also, ignorance does not = racism. I do believe that a lot of GWM are in fact ignorant and that is due to lack of awareness and experience. The "preference" rebuttal is nothing more than an excuse. I believe most white men who are not into black are this way because their lack of interest stems from pure ignorance about black people. Their lack of interest is based on preconceived notions and stereotypes of what they think black is. I think overall you kind of get my point but many points you missed and overstated that i did not say or mean. The major point I was making is to the original poster. My advice to him was that he should stop trying to get white guys' attention as he isn't going to get it. The day he stops seeking them out is the they he will feel better about himself. White men are not going to be intrested in him so he should save the energy and use it elsewhere.

As a GWM, you really can not even BEGIN to understand what it is like to be a GBM. Reality is that GBM are at the bottom of the pecking order. It's white, latino, some other light skin race, blacks, then asians. I can not begin to tell you, in my 15 years of being out (32 now), how many times I have been told "sorry, not into blacks". After a while, it takes a toll on your self esteem. Despite the fact that I am 32, in good shape, pretty good looking, educated, great career and overall a guy who has his shit together, that means NOTHING to majority of white guys. All they see is "he's black and I just do not do black guys". There is a reason why so many GBMs are not open to being with white guys. We have finally gotten the message we are not desired so guess what? We just find it is easier to stick to our kind. I am one of those guys. For years I really had a preference for white guys but after getting rejected so many times, I now primarily stick to other blacks or latino. It is much easier to deal with and I do not have to face the constant rejections. I have come to realize that overall, a lot of American GWMs are just plain ignorant. Their resistance towards black men has little to do with lack of attraction but more to do with lack of knowledge. GWMs live in a white bubble with their white 'hoods, white friends, white everything that they really do not know anything about blacks. Their "lack of attraction" has a lot do with pure ignorance and preconceived notions of who and what black people are. Do not believe me? How about this. Why is it when I go to Europe it is complete oppsite. I regularly travel to UK, Paris and just went to Germany and getting guys is not a problem. Race was almost a non-issue, esp. in London and Germany. You are right that you are seeing more race mixing, me too, BUT it is NOT among gays. From my observation, I see a lot of intteracial couples (esp. in NY) among hetero. I rarely see black/white among gay men. Recently I have noticed a lot of white guy/black girl mix. So to the original poster my only advice is to "keep it moving." The sooner you accept the fact that majority of WM aren't open to BM, the sooner you are better off. Once you start seeking out other brothas and latinos, you will find your sex life far less complex. The day I stopped chasing WM is the day my self esteem started to rise. To the white guys who are into BM, stop approaching us with that mandigo crap. We are NOT turned on or impressed. It is ignorant and honestly offensive. We are human beings with feelings just like you and when you approach us with "compliments" like "I just love black cock" it is not impressing us. Trust me, you have no idea how many of us just want to smack the stupidity out of you.

Be a person of character, which is to be honest about what you want. If your boyfriend is not up for it, then break up with him. Cheating is essentially a coward move and everyone deserves to be with someone they trust.

And you somehow find that to be a good thing? If anything, your statement is a window to the type of person you are: dishonest, immoral and someone people are better off not knowing or having in their life. There is nothing attractive about misleading people and putting their health in danger. I am a big believe of karma and sooner or later, you will get what is coming to you.

Fiber does help a big deal. I personally have about 4 cups of oatmeal 5 days a week. This helps immensely in having regular and frequent bowel movements. Honestly, days I have my oatmeals, I end up taking a shit at minimum 3x in the day. This makes cleaning up for fucking a whole lot easier. Also, I swear by psyllium husk. I HIGHLY recommend it for any bottom. It is very similar to metamucil but unlike metamucil, psyllium husk sin't mixed in with other stuff for flavoring. The active ingredient in metamucil is the psyllium, that's what makes you go. You can, at a health food store, but the raw thing. I recommend the powder form. If you take it at least 8 hours before cleaning, it will make you go. Psyllium is actually a cleanser. I take it the night before and in the morning I have to go. If I am getting fuck later, cleaning up is a breeze.

You do realize this whole website is filled with guys making stuff up right? More than half of the statements made here are embellishments or outright lies.

From personal experience, I can keep taking cock after getting fucked but it isn't easy. For me, if I cum before the top, I can keep taking cock but it is uncomfortable. I will say that after a few minutes, the uncomfortableness wanes and I feel fine. For any bttm who wants to keep taking a cock after cumming, the trick is in fighting the resistance. Your hole is really working on resisting that cock but if you just fight it and stay calm for 5 minutes or so, your hole will eventually just give in. The key really is ignoring the resistance coming from your hole. I also find taking deep breaths and breathing in and out helps calm me down.

It depends on how you plan to use it. I use mine when I am going to bttm and anticipate it to be a long play or multiple tops. Last I used it was a BB party and I planned to bttm. For me, I use it b.c it keeps my focus away from my cock and I am not tempted to jerk off or touch my cock. The one I use most is completely metal. It covers my whole cock and only locks with a secure lock. It is similar to this http://www.dildoshop.fr/en/chastity-cages/440-metal-chastity-cock-cage.html I prefer this one b/c no skin is shown and it is very difficult to get out of. I personally do not recommend any chasity where the device shows skin of your cock as I think those are easy to get out of. You want one that you can lock and secure and in no way can escape unless you use the key. When I used mine last, I put it on, locked it and left the key home. I went to my play party and I had a good time and enjoyed myself b/c I did not have to think about cumming b/c I couldn't. When I was done and went home, that is when I unlocked and allowed myself to cum. So think about why you want one, how you are going to use it, where you are going to use it. The answer to these questions will lead you to the right decision. The CB models are pretty good and each one serves a different purpose. They go from beginner to very advance so think about why and how you plan to use yours. Lastly, prices vary for these. I find the cheaper models break and easy to get out of. You do not have to pay a whole lot of money but the more expensive models tend to be escape proof. The cheaper models break or do not secure fully and you can escape out of them. Good Luck

A lot of reading and a few things came to mind. Bareback is becoming gay mainstream. In the past 2 years I have noticed the topic has become less and less taboo. In addition, I have found that a lot of gay men practice it. Most partice safe sex but a lot partake in the action. With that said, I think there is a lot of opportunity to do business considering the growing popularity. I think breeding zone is a great start but in my opinion there should be some changes. I have referred friends to the site and all said the same thing, "it just not for them." Like many guys, my friends like BB and pratice it but they do not buy into the whole "poz" fetishism or the HIV fetism or the "chem talk". The guys that I have referred to breedingzone have found it to be a bit to much. I think a lot of BBers just like BB, that is it. They like raw sex but the HIV fetism takes it a bit far. Such things I think are a niche and do not speak to most guys who BB. You may be turning off a lot of people off the site because of that. As for porn. I do not pay for it. Porn doesn't excite me that much b/c a lot of what I see seem unrealistic. For ex: I love the original HDK. It was a studio that was different from all the others but now it is just like all the others. Treasure Island is boring. It is the same scene and action each film but just a different guy. If I do watch porn, I watch it for free.

I am one of those guys who will pass a small dicked top. I am vers and go both ways but when I bottom, you better be sure I want to get fucked, feel it and be put in my place. A small dick can not do that. I need to feel the dick opening me and teasing my prostate. Small guys can not reach that far. There has only been one guy, who had about a 6.5 cock who proved me wrong about small guys. A small dick isn't always bad though. If he lacks in length and makes it up girth, I will not pass it up. A dick has to be big enough and/or wide to actually feel my hole is getting worked in some way. That aside, if I am at a bath, then I am not rejecting. To me, a bathhouse is not a place to get picky or make demands. My last trip to Fort Lauderdale, I visited Club FTL. That night, they had a dark room for BB. I got fucked and loaded by 3 guys and two were small dicked. Granted I didn't feel much but I think such scene and situation, if you are going to be bottom, shut your fucking mouth and leave your ego at the door and accept what is given to you. Too many gay guys are picky queens who are looking for perfection (right size, right height, rigt body build, right race) so a bathhouse is the last place where you should be doing that. As for having a belly. It all depends. Am I into grossly overweight guys? No. A little belly doesn't bother me but a heavy set guy who looks like his hands never touched the handle of an exercise machine isn't going to be fucking with me.

There really is a difference between raw fucking and fucking with rubber. When I bottom, the physical feeling isn't necessarily immediate but there is a difference doing it raw as opposed to rubbers. I do feel the skin of the dick but what I really feel more is a deeper connection with the top and the sex has a more "natural" feeling. Whether people see it sex is a natural biological need and rubbers are artifical. I think BB is really doing what nature intended sex to be. It's skin to skin and no barriers seperating you and the person. Bodily fluid is inserted and shared. Yea, I do feel even better and more peaceful when I get fuck BB and loaded. When I top, the physical benefits are immediate. You feel the warmth of a hole carressing your cock. You feel the "massaging" of your cock in that hole. You feel the tightness more. Mentally you feel like you are having sex a more natural and "human" way. To be able to also share your DNA with a bottom, even better. To know a part of you is in him, amazing. As cliche as it sounds, I feel a sense of honor to take guy's cock raw and his seed. Flipside, I feel it is an obligation to share my load with a bttm.

A couple of things. One, take everything you read on this site with a grain of salt. A lot of guys come on here and are either making up stories or embellishing. Second point. Every bottom is getting satisfaction but satisfaction can come in many different ways. It could be physical, it could be emotional, or it can be mental. Yes, there are bottoms, when getting fucked are about the physical satisfaction; the feeling of getting fucked and then cumming. That being said, there are bottoms do not necessarily get physically satisfied but do so mentally or emotionally. It also doesn't mean he is submissive either. I myself am vers. I am about 60% top and 40% bottom. I only bottom for guys that are hung. When I do bottom, it is because I have a need to feed. For me, the physical feeling of getting fucked is great but it actually is secondary. I certainly wouldn't call myself a sub but when I do bttm, I am more interested in having my hole used for someone's else need and pleasure. I am more satisfied that my hole is giving someone pleasure and my hole is going to receive cum. Yes, in the role as bottom, my focus is more on HIS pleasure and him getting what he needs. It is mental and emotional satisfaction I get primarily. The physical is great but it isn't the immediate satisfaction for me. When I bottom, I have no desire to rub my dick, no desire to cum b/c that isn't what I am thinking about or aiming for. Last time I got fucked, which was about 2 months ago, it was with a guy that really took a long time to cum. After about 45 min of fucking me, my hole was getting tired but I didn't stop him or squirm or tried to get him to cum. I was feeling a bit uncomfortable but I put it aside and just focused on making my hole take it and relaxing til he's ready to cum. 20 min later, he did and my satisfaction was seeing him feeling good and relaxed. So yes, there are bottoms where fucking is physical satisfaction and about getting theirs and there are bottoms where it is something else.

If you are seeking out white men, the probability of finding one that will top you is small. First thing, whether you want to believe it or not, black men are not desired by WM. This is one thing you are going to have to accept. It is what it is but most WM prefer other WM and if they do go outside their race, it is latinos they are open to. WM who are into BM are the minority. Now, if you do happen to find a WM, 80% of the time, he wants you to top him. I myself am black and vers. Most WM who I encounter expect me to top. There is a big stereotype that BM are tops. Reality is, it isn't true. A lot of my black gay friends go both ways, only a few are exclusive tops. Even when I go to majority black gay clubs/bars or other social stuff, it is 50/50. So my advice to you is, if you want to get topped, stop going after white guys. Seek out other black men or latino men. And as someone who has dated white and black, it is far more easier to meet and get lucky when you stick to your own. Up until 5 years ago, I mostly dated white guys and one day I just got tired of hearing "not into blacks" that I started to open myself to my own race..It actually is so much easier now.

Hi Poptronic: All great news. I am very happy thinks are ok for you and dealing with the news well. Even better you have an appt with a doctor. You are well on your way to making sure everthing is set up. As I said earlier, keep the communication with your doctor open. Since you will be working for the state of NJ, your insurance will be great. Gov. jobs have awesome benefits and when I first tested poz, my job at the time was a gov job. The insurance was great. I wouldn't bother telling your family about your status. What is the point to it? You are healthy, able bodied. No need to cause worry by telling them. Mine do not know and I do not intend to tell them as there is nothing for them to worry about.

Hi Poptronic. I do not participate much on this site as I find majority of the discussion to be a bit "crazy" and "false" but i felt compelled to respond to you. Let me first start by saying that the news of being POZ is unfortunate but really, you will be alright. I can share my experience and hopefully it will help you. I was tested poz when I was 29. I am 32 now. The person who infected me was someone who lied about his status (we both got tested at the same time). Although I had been BBing for years, I had always kept it to men I knew well but with such risk, things are bound to happen. The news for me was shocking yet not surprising. I remember when I was told, I honestly went deaf for the rest of the appointmemt. I was not in shock per se, but felt I was in another world, almost like a dream. That night, I took a long walk home and called my best friend. I knew I was going to fine but I just needed to process the news. Lucky for me, I had poz friends so I knew I would be in good hands. I called a poz friend and he referred me to his doctor and I immediately made an appt for that week. The doctor was just amazing and eased a lot of my concerns (i.e. meds, regimen, cost, side effects.etc etc). I immediately went on a cocktail that took me to undetectable in 4 weeks and once I got there, went to two pills. I now only take 1 pill a day. As for insurance and cost. I am fortunate to have a corporate career. I have a well paid job that offers great benefits so the cost of my pills are $0. Based on my experience a few advice I can give you: - Doctor: Get a doctor who specializes in HIV care and even better if he is well versed in gay men's health. My doc is a gay man and I have a completely honest relationship with him. I am honest about everything and he knows I actively BB and do not use condoms. With that information, he knows what to do when I see him. - Get in touch with AHF. If your insurance allows you to get your pills from them, go to AHF. They are just amazing and they take out all the worries in getting meds, paying for meds, and dealing with insurance. They really take care of everything and only thing you have to do is pick up your meds. - Insurace: In your current insurance, switch to PPO. This allows you to see anyone you want and gives you extra coverage. If you have a job that has medicore insurance, find a new job that provides excellent insurance. - Live in a city with high % of poz men. You are already doing this as you live in NYC/NJ. One year after getting diagnosed, I moved back to NYC. It is easier to meet people in your situation and overall just makes things better. - Therapy: if you can, might be good idea to see a shrink. The hardest thing about being poz is not the meds or the health stuff but the mental stuff. Even though I have been poz for a few years, I still have moments of regrets and sadness. Also, loneliness is common. My experience so far has shown me that being poz means dealing with rejections and it is hard to make connection with other poz guys as too many want sex and sex and more sex. Hard to meet poz men for more serious things. I hope my experience helps. I sincerely mean it when it I said you will be ok. HIV today is much different from what it used to be. You aren't going to die. My health is no different from what it was before I became poz. In fact, i find myself taking better care of myself. I have not experienced any side effts or gotten sick. I wish you all the luck.

I want my profile gone but since it can't be deleted how long does it go to "inactive"

As a gay man you should have a primary that you feel comfortable with. One you can be honest with and not feel any judgement or embarassment. I have a primary that is gay and I am honest with him. He knows my sexual lifestyle. My first appt, he asked series of questions and I laid it out for him. I was honest I exclusively BB and have been for years. Since he knows my history, he knows what to look out for on every visit and what tests to do. At the end of the day, doctors are professionals. They have seen it all and heard it all. Importantly, they must remain professional and provide a safe space. If you feel you need to lie to your doctor, you may not be getting the best care.

*rolls eyes*

It is over for me if I see shit on my dick. If I am topping, I expect a clean hole b/c before I fuck it, I am going to spend some time eating that hole. I undersand accidents happens but once I see or smell the shit, I am done. I do not want to go back there. This happened last month as I was fucking this bottom. After a few minutes of fucking, I pulled out and noticed brown smear on my dick. I asked of he douched he said no he didn't have time. I told him it was best we end this. When I bottom, I make sure to clean out completely. I can only think of 2 occasians I had accidents and in both cases, I ended the session b/c I didn't feel I was clean enough.

You can not help yourself can you? I am going to stick to my original comment, you are an asshole.

I cringe at this stereotype that if a gay man is a bottom, he just be feminine or less than a man. I do not think taking dick is a feminine act. We can argue its a submissive act but submission doesn't equal femininity or lack of masculinity. In my own personal life I am a bottom but there's nothing feminine about me. I'm masculine guy and my mannerism and interest are those applied to men. While in my professional life I'm controlling, direct, and aggressive, in my sexual and personal life, I'm not. Sexually I'm a bottom because I like someone else in control and to be the director. With all that said I'm not less of a man or feminine.

The issue is not your "sexual preference" or the fact that you aren't into drugs. What makes you an asshole and guys who have racial "preferences" is how they articulate it. There is a way to say you are not into asians or blacks without dehumanizing them or speak of them as if they are some kind of "eww thing". Example: "But I was too afraid of fucking black or Asian ass so I didn't totally relax. At one time.... I was fucking this hot bodied guy with amazing silky fuck hole but as soon as I thought he might be Asian as his body was really smooth....so I couldn't unload in him" I mean really? Asians and blacks are that repulsive to you? How do you think an asian or black guy feels reading that? Put yourself in their shoes.