What to do with "generous" guys?

[youngtopsd1]

So lately I've had a few guys online come forward and offer to pay me money if I bareback them. I always turn it down because I feel that to accept money for sex would lower my dignity and put me in a dependent position. But they're essentially paying me for giving them a load, lol.

Is my attitude towards this the right one? I know that a lot of guys my age (21) would simply say yes because it's money that they could use on booze and other stuff, but I'm not greedy or that superficial.

[Strafe13]

There's no right or wrong answer, as it's a very personal matter (your dignity and all). I personally see nothing inherently wrong with it. But if it makes you uncomfortable, then it's probably not for you. Just my 2 cents...

[closetslut]

There's no right or wrong answer, as it's a very personal matter (your dignity and all). I personally see nothing inherently wrong with it. But if it makes you uncomfortable, then it's probably not for you. Just my 2 cents...

Probably the best answer you'll get.

[bbinbpark]

I see a growing number of guys on websites that are looking for 'gen' guys in their profiles. I must be looking for the kinds of guys that are really escorts or something. It's getting ridiculous.

[ckt]

I see a growing number of guys on websites that are looking for 'gen' guys in their profiles. I must be looking for the kinds of guys that are really escorts or something. It's getting ridiculous.

I always thought 'gen' could also refer to genuine, as in no time-wasters.

[Btm!]

So don't do it. Stick to what is purely fun for you - there is plenty of fun to be had without compromising yourself and what you really want!

[einathens]

are you talking about them leaving a $20 on the dresser, a handful of loose change hitting the pillow, or a tasteful bearer bond?

if it makes you feel like a whore, don't do it. but if somebody wanted to show unsolicited financial appreciation for something i was gonna do for free and i didn't take it, i'd feel like an idiot.

you could save it for a rainy day, or use it as a bookmark in your copy of 'breakfast at tiffany's.'

[Guest faggot hole]

Even as a dedicated and total slut bottom, i feel that "dignity" and a sense of self esteem is important. i'll go to a party and take any load that is offered to me -- and i'll be grateful. and that makes me a slut. But if i did it for money, that would make me a whore. i can live with being a slut; i could not live with being a whore. Sometimes, guys i'm with will take pictures or videos of our having fun on their cell phones and enjoy these pics or videos when they are alone or with friends. i'm cool with that. i was given an opportunity to do porn, but i turned that down. Again, that's crossing the line from a guy who enjoys sex to a guy who is a professional sex worker. i have nothing against professional sex workers; i rather admire them. But i don't want to be one. i think the world of Dawson (he's my hero). But i don't want to be him.

[Deaner]

For some guys, paying for it is part of the fetish itself. I would suspect it either that they A) enjoy the submission and even humiliation of it or feel it gives them a sense of control and entitlement. I once had a guy who liked to give 'gifts' to tops, which I told him wasn't necessary. After he left, I discovered that he had left a prepaid gift card without me realizing it. Just one of his 'kinks', he got off on paying a tribute.

If accepting money offends you, obviously don't do it. But that's no reason to at least play along a little if they make the offer. You could let them know that you're not a whore, but you wouldn't mind if they bought you a beer first. Or that you expect something intangible in return for giving them a load (footrub, massage, etc).

[vrsbbltn]

I'd never accept money from anyone. When I was younger and first started getting offered money, I used to get really angry, wanted to insult them for being so disrespectful. But I got to understand that it's something many people are into, and being offered money means I was attractive/hot, so I started taking it more nicely, saying "no, I'm not into that" with a smile.

I am not old, but I'm not a 18-25 yo boy. Still today I've got offerings, and by guys who are maybe 5 years older than me, so I've got to think that it's not limited to daddy/grandpa-son fantasies, this thing is exciting to many who look good and don't need to pay, and will to pay even for older guys.

I believe that with this economic crisis, many more are into getting paid for having sex, and many others that are willing to pay are taking advantage of that. I have been seriously short of money a couple of times, and never thought of doing it. Maybe the risk of HIV and other STDs don't scare us that much, but there are many other risks involved, plus, having to fuck or get fucked by very ugly men is disgusting, so it's not easy money as we all think.

Even if you can detach from the bad feelings, and are cool doing it, you should think that you will grow up, and it won't be that nice, would be a trauma, every time you think on all you had to do for a few dollars, because even if they pay you "a lot", lets say, 500 dollars, in 15 years you won't have a spectacular house and a fantastic car, and a bank account so big, that you won't have to work the rest of your life. All you'll have is a rented apt which you won't be able to pay after you age and are no longer attractive, some fancy/expensive clothing, some jewelry, and a devastating emptiness in your life.

Sadly, many gays nowadays prefer to sell their bodies, to make a living based on that. They don't work cleaning dishes at a restaurant, they don't clean houses, they don't work as cashiers, what would other disco queens think if they see them, no way nooooo!!!!, but prostitution is so glam and fab, yes, much better than to degrade themselves doing those shitty jobs. Some even act as if they are medicine doctors, successful businessmen, engineers, architects, think they have a position in society and everyone else should respect/envy them because they have a few dollars selling their bodies.

I do believe that if in total desperation, in urgent need of money, I'd consider it. It's my body, I am not harming anyone, I'm not stealing. But only once or twice.

That's my pov, everyone is free to think and do whatever they want.

[Guest Matias47]

I always thought 'gen' could also refer to genuine, as in no time-wasters.

Nope. "Gen" means they either want or are giving money.

[einathens]

charlie sheen once said that he wasn't paying them for sex, he was paying them to leave afterward.

you could think of it as dating for a hobby, not as a living.

[rawTOP]

If they're someone you'd hookup up anyway, and the money/gifts come without strings - why not take it? The whole image/dignity thing is just in your head. Just change how you look at it and let them do their thing and say thank you with money/gifts.

That said, I do know where you're coming from. I escorted for 9 months many years ago when I was in grad school. I needed the money and selling my body was the easiest and least disruptive way for me to get the extra cash I needed. It did fuck with me. Because I needed the money by the end of it I didn't feel like my body belonged to me anymore and I was more detached when I had sex - I felt obligated to perform how they wanted me to perform. That's why I say forget about the money - have sex the way you want to have it. But if, at the end of that, they want to give you money - why not? Now if they think they're buying a boyfriend - that's different...

BTW, not all the johns are creepy old men. Quite a few are attractive 40-something businessmen who are just too busy to spend hours online only to have things fall through.

[GermanFucker]

I think this is one question everyone has to decide for himself. Everyone should do what feels right TO HIM.

I myself feel cheapened by being offered money so I won't fuck with guys that want to pay me for seeding them. But then again one of my best fuckbuddies - who has a great job, much better pay than mine - likes it. Not because he needs the money (he strictly spends it on fun, it doesn't go into his normal account) but because it's slutty and kinky.

I think a good rule of thumb is: If you choose to accept money without being a professional whore, you a.) shouldn't have to rely on it as income (e.g. to make rent because you moved into a bigger appartment) and b.) shouldn't compromise your usual standards, even for a nice sum. Because that's when you turn into a whore - and if you don't want that, maybe then it's time to quit.

[rubio2001]

Take the money. When I first finished college I started my corporate career, worked at a movie theater part-time, and then hosted at a restaurant on weekends - all at the same time. I did all of these because at that age I had the energy and the desire to save, save, save. $50 bucks here and there ads up if you put it away and it's EXTRA money you wouldn't have otherwise. It's just sex. Society, especially here in the US, has way too many hang ups when it comes to sex. We are taught that it's dirty, bad, and if you are gay then you are just fucked up and need to be fixed. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Man or woman - do whatever the heck you want with your own body - it's yours - and if you start to feel guilty it's more likely because in your upbringing you were taught that sex is a bad thing.