Depression and Anxiety

[Bbikercub]

This is a bit of a repeat post but I thought it deserves its own thread.

I've just started to feel better after what I can only describe as another of the worst weeks of my life. Why? - I had a bad downer after parTying, something I think I won't ever do again now, and being on a reduced dose of my antidepressants.

I went from feeling ok on Monday to feeling suicidal on Tuesday and Wednesday then to thinking I'd damaged my brain. After that I started slowly to get better, but only after going back to my original dose of meds.

So I'm starting to think I may have a chemical imbalance. Two years ago before I went on antidepressants I suffered from anxiety. I've always been a worrier, the two years since have been pretty awesome and I've not had issues with stress or anxiety. Yes I still get low but I can shake out of it and watch a film or go to the gym, or bake or whatever.

I have changed how I think about people with mental health issues and want to know of others also have issues the are willing to talk about.

[rawTOP]

People frequently talk about the winter blues. There's actually a reason for it - Vitamin D deficiency - most people in northern climates are not getting enough sun, which means they're low on Vitamin D. Being low on Vitamin D can lead to...

• Depression
  
• Difficulty in sleeping
  
• Excessive fatigue
  
• Low energy levels
  
• Low immunity levels
  
• Mood swings
  
• Muscle pain
  
• Weak bones (which might result in fractures)
  
• Weight Loss
  

While you might like that last one, the others aren't so great.

I think your particular symptoms are deeper than just a Vitamin D deficiency, but Vitamin D might be exacerbating things. Get your doctor to test you for Vitamin D and make sure you get your levels back in line. In the meantime you can probably safely take some Vitamin D - 1000 mg / day of Vitamin D3 would be a good place to start. If you're going to go higher than that you really should talk to your doctor.

BTW, oddly milk isn't all that great of a source of Vitamin D - at least not in the US. Here they fortify milk with a form of vitamin D that can't be easily absorbed by the body. What you want is Vitamin D3. I take one or two 1000 mg tablets every day and it has helped my mood significantly.

Come summer make sure you get outdoors and get some sun. Getting (and maintaining) a light tan is actually a good thing since sun exposure gets your body to generate its own Vitamin D.

[Bbikercub]

Thanks RawTop, though I don't think in this case it's winter blues. I do get a little down in winter but not normally like this.

[TigerMilner]

Ive had the same issues you just described in the past. You said you were down and suicidal after a "bad downer" from partying. Remember that. That is the drugs. They deplete your brain of dopamine, which makes you feel suicidal and irrational. Nothing feels good. But, it does go away once your brain balances out the dopamine. That is pretty much the definition of a "chemical imbalance". It goes with the territory. If you wish to continue to party, you just need to keep a good hold on that fact so that you don't off the deep end during those "bad downers". Eat well and get plenty of sleep during these periods. It is important and it makes you feel a little better.

I find it best just not to do the drugs. I mean, yeah, I like to get high as much as anyone else, and I have done it all and done it to excess, but I find it not worth it in the long run. I still binge out on occasion, but I try to avoid it. Antidepressants are another story. Mixing them with party drugs is never good. I find Xanax is good for short term bouts of situational depression, but not long term. Makes me feel lazy and I have too much to do.

I am fortunate to live where it is sunny almost everyday. I grew up near Atlanta so I know what winters are like and what it feels like to live in a climate where skies are gray for months. I know that the sunlight makes me feel better. I don't like to feel cold. I don't even have window coverings on most of the windows in my house and almost every room opens onto my pool, which also reflects bright light. I need that. I love the sunlight. RT is right about Vitamin D, but be careful as it is one of the Vitamins that you can get too much of, meaning it can become toxic at certain levels. Seeing a doctor is a must. I had my Vitamin D tested last year when I was dealing with a bad case of anemia.

Edited February 24, 2013 by TigerMilner

[Bbikercub]

I know it's not just the drugs, the downer lasted longer than the life of the drugs in my system. It only got better once I'd upped my meds.

Doctor again tomorrow so going to chat through things and look at staying in my 20mg for the long term.

[poz0712]

I was dealing with depression and anxiety before my HIV+ diagnosis.

[uclatinosj]

Natural alternative would be some Fish oil and 5htp and so forth. hope you get better..

[fillmyholeftl]

Not being judgemental.. it's "the GIRLS" (tina, Gina etc... ) messing with the chemical imbalance in brain. I just get "HIGH" on Men, the SEX etc...

Its SAFER, Cheaper & LEGAL !

[Bbikercub]

I was dealing with depression and anxiety before my HIV+ diagnosis.

How did finding out you are poz affect your mood/depression?

[Bbikercub]

Not being judgemental.. it's "the GIRLS" (tina' date=' Gina etc... ) messing with the chemical imbalance in brain. I just get "HIGH" on Men, the SEX etc...

Its SAFER, Cheaper & LEGAL ![/quote']

I plan to from now on. I realised in my last session that you can get a serious rush just from playing with the right guy

[fuckboy20]

rawtop is completely right. I'm sure the drugs make it worse but everyone I know has been depressed lately myself included. I have literally just sort of sat or just been in my room most of the weekend. I went out once. I had to force myself today to get some cleaning done and organize some stuff. Luckily, I was able to get together with an old friend which more then helped me feel better. Still feel a little depressed.

I know people keep mentioning ft. lauderdale recently but if time and money allows that is a GREAT place to go right now. Tons of gay bars closeby, happy hour everyday for every drink, and TONS OF BAREBACKERS. And lots of hot sex clubs too. Not only that but the weather was so warm and great it felt like it was summer. I'm missing that warm sun right now. It's been really cloudy mostly and cold and it really sucks. Thanks for explaining the full effects of lack of vitamin d rawtop. It explains a lot.

[BlindRawFucker]

Depression really sucks--and not in a good way.

I've never been formally diagnosed with depression and I don't take any medications, but I know I do suffer from it.

I remember being younger than ten and feeling totally sad. The winter in general, and the Holidays in particular, are the darkest times for me. However, it can hit at any time.

When it does strike, it is like being hit with a hammer. It happens all at once, and I can feel myself falling down the hole. It happens in only a couple of minutes. Unfortunately, it can take days to come out of it.

I take 5,000MG of Vitamin D a day, and never use drugs. I probably have a chemical imbalance, but it is also my situation.

Being blind, gay, lonesome and my living situation is not conducive to happiness.

The good thing about this thread is, anyone who reads it will know that they aren't alone. That can be a big help

I wish you all the best.

[Bbikercub]

You hand in there BlindRawFucker, talking really helps to get through the darker bits of life.

I'm glad if anyone else reads this and knows they can talk when it comes to depression!