Can men be monogamous?

[Internal Blast]

Can men be monogamous? Should men be monogamous?

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

IMO, No. Many men "try" to be, and of the group of men who claim to be; a few actually are.

Should they be? It really depends on their situation. Any guy in a relationship with someone whose agreement (eg: the promise they made to their partner) is to be monogamous "should" be; if we accept the premise that a well functioning, predictable society is founded on ones word being good. Since that is not the case, society has developed legal remedies...

This is not to imply that relationships must be monogamous though. There are many long term relationships, mine included, whose premise was never to be monogamous.

[endowed]

The answer is no.

[Pig Bottom]

Can they? yes. There may come a time where you reach a certain age where it gets harder to find hookups and if you find a great guy that should be enough.

[cougkdc99]

NO!! I think its impossible, there is way for a man to control his sexual urges. You should never deny yourself the pleasures your body needs to survive.

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

I know guys in their late 80's who still can't/won't be monogamous. Age not a factor either.

Can a guy choose to be? At least in theory, yes. But it goes against nature...

[hawwkfan]

No and we were never meant to be monogamous. Made to breed or get bred by as many others as possible.

Just basic inherent carnal instinct. If you try and fail, its not your fault. Its just the way we are hard wired.

Edited August 11, 2013 by hawwkfan

[PigTop31]

For me NO I cant, its impossible. Ive tried before and I just cant do it. I guess Im just a horny fucker

[bearbandit]

Yes, but it's bloody boring. I had a period when I was on one of the early protease inhibitors at a massive overdose. The result was a complete disinterest in sex. I didn't even wank. When I started coming out of that some years later, my partner was falling ill. It didn't seem tactful to go out whoring when he needed help to get from his bedroom to the toilet. After he died I was so messed in the head I figured I needed to sort my head out without sex messing things up. I went for eleven years without sex. Not strictly the answer to the question, but my experience.

If Mr Right is reading this over my shoulder, he'd better be aware that I want him, I want the slutty guy I saw downtown today, and I want whatever sex parties are going. So I guess the real answer is "no". ;-)

[BiAggieGuy]

Obviously someone can chose to for whatever reason, but that's the exception rather than the rule. For me, too much hot ass and cock out there to limit myself to one person.

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

Yes, but it's bloody boring. I had a period when I was on one of the early protease inhibitors at a massive overdose. The result was a complete disinterest in sex. I didn't even wank. When I started coming out of that some years later, my partner was falling ill. It didn't seem tactful to go out whoring when he needed help to get from his bedroom to the toilet. After he died I was so messed in the head I figured I needed to sort my head out without sex messing things up. I went for eleven years without sex. Not strictly the answer to the question, but my experience.

If Mr Right is reading this over my shoulder, he'd better be aware that I want him, I want the slutty guy I saw downtown today, and I want whatever sex parties are going. So I guess the real answer is "no". ;-)

bearbandit, you know I crave you riding my hole hard and deep...

[PhoenixGeoff]

Can men be monogamous? Should men be monogamous?

Sure, lots of men can be and are. You have to remember that straight men have far fewer opportunities for sex than we do (I have a straight roommate and his attempts to find a girlfriend are really pathetic...I don't dare tell him how much easier it is for us, though I think he's picked up some inkling). And you have to remember that they also live in a society that values monogamy far more than gay culture does.

Hell, there are plenty of men who are not monogamous but chaste, sometimes for religious reasons, sometimes because they have no other choice.

Should they be monogamous? Well, I suppose that's a question that each man should answer for himself.

I've enjoyed fucking around since the day I first stepped out of the closet, so it's all I've really known. But I'll acknowledge that there is a tradeoff involved. I have difficulty with relationships. I'm averse to commitment. I have a tendency to keep my partners a bit at arms' length. And I think part of that comes from the fact that I know I can have my sexual needs met very easily elsewhere. Perhaps if I actually was monogamous, if I made that investment and commitment in another man, I could make my relationships work better. Or maybe that just reflects deeper porblems in my own head, rather than my choice.

I've also known guys who've deliberately chosen to stop having sex, stop watching porn, stop jacking off, all of it, at least for a time. They report it being difficult, especially at first, but also report having tons of energy that gets channeled into other things, usually either a career or business or in some kind of creative direction. Typically they will just do that sort of thing for a period of time, then return to seeking out some sex either in the context of a relationship or more casually.

So is it possible? Sure. Difficult, perhaps, but possible. Is it right? I dunno, you tell me. Is it useful? Might well be.

[bbzh]

I find celibacy far easier than monogamy. I once went 17 months without having sex with anyone - just occasional masturbation. It was one of the most beautiful, creative and productive periods of my life. It was hard at first, but once you get over the initial phase, you lose interest in being sexually active and you see just how manipulative people can be just to have sex. I will never forget when this guy was cruising me constantly in my dorm (I was in grad school at the time). I went to his room (stupidly). He was all over me. When I said I was celibate and didn't want to have sex, he was TOTALLY disgusted. Even though he thought I was hot, he was completely uninterested in me as a person. Didn't even want to talk. He asked me to leave. It was really eye opening.

[kwhotboi]

I do not believe a normal horny male can be monogamous. We are designed to "spread our seed" and we bottoms are waiting for it.

[evilqueerpig]

Speaking for myself, I'm not capable of being monogamous, and it's not just a gay thing, I was one of several regular hookups for a married guy who couldn't get enough dick and cum up his ass!