Am I the only one who finds this strange?

[losttop]

Broke up with my bf few months ago, but we remained kind of friends on social media and stuff...when we were together I paid for everything including our vacations as he is a student and has almost no money...when he was in distress for whatever reason I would be there for him with long distance chats....as I still care for him, I didn't mind any of that...we were supposed to hook up in Palm Springs for couple of days and have some fun as friends....he told me it would only be as friends and sleep in separate beds.... I thought this was strange as sex had always been good between us....I told him I didn't like those type of labels and restrictions and that I didn't c anything wrong in us being friends with benefits but that I respected his wishes....after that he suggested that he might hook up with some stranger while we were out....I told him that I would find that weird as I still had feelings for him and I was paying for the whole thing....so basically he would maybe be fucking with others and I would pay for it without getting to touch him.... I told him no way...he accused me then of not being a friend and that he didn't want anything to do with me.... What do u guys think?

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

He is using you. If you let him it is on you... Tell him to find another sugar daddy.

[Walkerth139]

Sounds like you're being used and getting played at the same time, tell him to fuck off. Get over him and find someone that loves you for who you are not what you can buy them.

[pisstopper]

Agreed. He's being a prick and taking advantage. Of course if you don't want to cancel the whole trip you could always enforce some other "friend" rules - friends would likely pay for their part of the trips cost and friends wouldn't typically bring tricks back to the shared hotel room to fuck either. No sex on the table for you means pay up and take it elsewhere buddy in my book

[Ranger Rick]

Since you're paying, the only thing that matters is if it's weird to *you.* It's your money. It's the Golden Rule; he who has the gold makes the rules.

[cmmolthr]

I tend to agree with all the above

[NastyRigPig]

Nothing strange about it at all. He thinks he can get one last vacation out of you on his terms.

[losttop]

He was too much it's my way or the highway....I had to readjust my roster and make it work the time that he wanted.... True that is time was more limited but still....we had open relationship when we were together and we fucked with others....he wouldn't have bring anyone to our resort.... But for me it would have been strange to c him make out with someone at the bars or c him maybe disappear with someone.... It would have been hurtful and I didn't want to put myself in that position.... My friends found him a self centered prick with little or no consideration. When we were together I felt that he always wanted to be the center of attention and would say some pretty nasty things.... The truth is that I don't need someone like this in my life...

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

Great! Take that trip by yourself and have a great time in PS

[pipesmokin'manfucker]

You've gotten sound advice and insights from other posters here, and you realise it. Carrying it out, however, might prove to be more difficult than at first glance it may seem. Getting the man out of your heart and affections might turn out to be a challenge. You might find yourself angry with him and feeling humiliated/ashamed because you allowed yourself to be used, And I think those are normal reactions AND that, with time, they'll evaporate altogether.

I hope you'll go easy on yourself as you adjust to life without the kind of relationship you used to have with him. I bet he has some good qualities, too. You wouldn't have gotten involved with him if he hadn't. You're not foolish; like everyone else, you are vulnerable but also seem resilient. I bet things will work well out for you sooner than you may think.

I'm in your corner, so to speak.

[bearbandit]

He's cut off the emotional ties and you haven't. My rule with ex-boyfriends/lovers/guys I don't intend seeing again is to be be polite in company (however painful it might be) and ti ignore in private. I get the impression that you're trying to continue the relationship on a friends-who-fuck basis. Don't. (voice of experience here) There'll be tears before bedtime and they won't be his. The relationship is over (sorry to be so brutal about it, but some guys think it's one of my good points). Look around you: try new bars/baths/cruising areas. He is history.

If life demands that you have to see him through work, be oolite. Freezingly so. Otherwise he doesn't exist, and I'm afraid whatever was good about your relationship is gone too, consigned to memory. Someday it might be possible to meet up again on a friends basis (one of my best friends is my first ever boyfriend, but it's over forty years since we had the mutual "fuck off" thing). Leave him behind while you get on with the rest of your life...

[Guest indynudeguy]

While the previous responses may be true, I'd like to offer a different perspective. You don't mention age, except to say he is a student. When I was younger I wanted to experience everything that the gay life had to offer. However, at the same time there were older men in my life who I really cared about and enjoyed being with. They were interested in a monogamous relationship and I wasn't ready. I wanted to experience the things they already had. And I wanted to do it without feeliong guilty. Sometimes an age difference just means that two people aren't in the same place at the same time. Looking back, knowing what I know now, I would make different choices. About the finances, a student usually doesn't have much money, again he is behind you in the life cycle. My suggestion is to talk in a non threatening, non demanding way. If you usually pick up the bill, you may be giving the wrong impression about your financial situation and/or what money means to you. In closing, nothing takes the joy out of sex more than when it is expected or demanded. Good luck.

[cheshiregay]

Having been used in the past - he claimed to love me but only loved the £8000 he got out of me, then he claimed I had given him Aids (I am still neg) and other tall stories - like he was accepted to get into Oxford Uni (his qualifications, which I saw by accident on a CV meant he would have struggled to get into the worst uni). So from experience don't give him anything more - which includes your time as well, consign him to the dustbin of your life

[firefighter]

He's cut off the emotional ties and you haven't. My rule with ex-boyfriends/lovers/guys I don't intend seeing again is to be be polite in company (however painful it might be) and ti ignore in private. I get the impression that you're trying to continue the relationship on a friends-who-fuck basis. Don't. (voice of experience here) There'll be tears before bedtime and they won't be his. The relationship is over (sorry to be so brutal about it, but some guys think it's one of my good points). Look around you: try new bars/baths/cruising areas. He is history.

If life demands that you have to see him through work, be oolite. Freezingly so. Otherwise he doesn't exist, and I'm afraid whatever was good about your relationship is gone too, consigned to memory. Someday it might be possible to meet up again on a friends basis (one of my best friends is my first ever boyfriend, but it's over forty years since we had the mutual "fuck off" thing). Leave him behind while you get on with the rest of your life...

If there was a star system for a posting on here, I would have gave this a gold star, fantastic advice and bang on.. Losttop I too have been where you are now, in exactly the same situation

he was much younger than me, a student too, and I look after his every need. The same story he wanted to move on with benefits. I let it for a while as emotionally I thought it might work out

and he would come back to me, but alas it was not to be. I gradually weaned him off, and I swore I would never be in that situation again, if someone wanted to be with me, they were going to be with me because of who I am, not what I have. I hope you move on soon, make no mistake it is tough, but being tough is the only way you will jump the hurdle and move on to the next stage in your life.

[losttop]

While the previous responses may be true, I'd like to offer a different perspective. You don't mention age, except to say he is a student. When I was younger I wanted to experience everything that the gay life had to offer. However, at the same time there were older men in my life who I really cared about and enjoyed being with. They were interested in a monogamous relationship and I wasn't ready. I wanted to experience the things they already had. And I wanted to do it without feeliong guilty. Sometimes an age difference just means that two people aren't in the same place at the same time. Looking back, knowing what I know now, I would make different choices. About the finances, a student usually doesn't have much money, again he is behind you in the life cycle. My suggestion is to talk in a non threatening, non demanding way. If you usually pick up the bill, you may be giving the wrong impression about your financial situation and/or what money means to you. In closing, nothing takes the joy out of sex more than when it is expected or demanded. Good luck.

I forgot to mention he is 37.... And mamas boy..... Although I'm few years older, that was not an issue.... I just had the job and therefore more money, so I paid for lot of more stuff than he did..... He is also no love god.... He may be a bit out of shape.... But that doesn't matter in my book....he didn't take advantage of me, as lots of times I offered something and he declined.... It is just that he had the tendency to make everything evolve around him....I want it.... So make it happen.... He could also be condescending at times.... Like he was better than me or something.... But this time I was just protecting myself from more heartache as I do still care for him.... But seeing him leave with somebody else while I paid for everything would have left a bitter taste in my mouth.... Also didn't like the fact that he said no to friends with benefits.... Kind of hurt my feelings.... Anyway it's done and over...