bigdick4you Posted May 29, 2014 Report Share Posted May 29, 2014 The last couple of months have not been easy for me...I had failed relationship, tried to be FWB but nothing seemed really to work well. I seem to have tendency to be possessive, jealous and when u fuel that with alcohol u get an explosive mix....have also a somewhat compulsive behavior towards sex... Most of the time I'm on hook up sites.... Strange thing is that I don't need necessarily be looking for ass to be on there...I masturbate quite a bit and sometimes when I hook up I feel kind of depressed afterwards.... Truth of the matter is that I'm looking to share my life with that special one...someone who can be piggy like me... But also has a soft romantic side...lately is like nothing matters.... I should be taking care of tons of things...but I don't seem to get anything done...had a chat with my doctor and he suggested to talk to a therapist. Don't know if taking medication would be good for me...a friend of mine suggested Xanax ...have any of u guys been through the same and what would u suggest? It's like I feel numb and death inside...used to be easy going fun guy who took care of himself...lately I drink far too much and nothing seems to make me happy... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Idigholes Posted May 29, 2014 Report Share Posted May 29, 2014 Therapy has been a very good for me at different points in my life. There is power is speaking your truth and a good therapist will be an objective listener and willing to hear all your thoughts and feelings. Talking and getting some peace of mind would be better in the long term than xanax or alcohol, in my opinion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bottombottoy Posted May 29, 2014 Report Share Posted May 29, 2014 as a graduate of psych, Xanax should be a last resort. It appears to me, just by what you have said, that you are in a depressive state and your compulsive state if making your love life incomplete. I would suggest talking to a professional before you started medicating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JizzDumpWI Posted May 29, 2014 Report Share Posted May 29, 2014 Professional would be good. You might combine with AA if you find you can't stop drinking. Sexual Compulsives Anonymous might help with sex compulsion... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TigerMilner Posted May 29, 2014 Report Share Posted May 29, 2014 I find Xanax are good for crisis times to calm anxiety or or just to numb out for an evening, but taken regularly it gets ugly. In other words, they don't solve the issue, just temporary symptom relief. And mixing them with alcohol can be fatal. It sounds like you are clinically depressed. Therapists can help us focus on and work thru root issues. It never has hurt me. Just how big is that dick....? lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belfast-Bottom Posted May 29, 2014 Report Share Posted May 29, 2014 Hi, I think you posted before about feeling cut up after a long term relationship ended. That can trigger a grief reaction and alter brain chemistry. I experienced that myself after a long term relationship ended. You sound clinically depressed which is understandable and nothing to be ashamed of. If your doctor can recommend a good therapist ( with a proven track record ) I think it would be a good starting point for you. Medication can help if talking doesn't, but I agree that alcohol is a dangerous prop. I know too many alcoholics. I hope you feel better soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigdick4you Posted May 30, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 I only drink excessively when I was going out with this guy.... He drank his drinks like water and I had then the need to do same. It's like I have lost a piece of me.... Think will be good to talk things through with therapist. I will be ok I'm sure... I promised myself to never accept any bad situation with anyone ever again! But it's time to cut on the self pity and to start living! Shame that most of my best friends live in different countries... In Berlin haven't made that many friends as I'm hardly ever there...also don't really go out to a lot of bars to meet people.... Normally I end up at sexclubs.... Which r great to have sex but not so much to meet people on more social level.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bathhousebill Posted June 30, 2014 Report Share Posted June 30, 2014 yes - get in psychotherapy and determine your medications with his/her guidance. Doing this was the best thing in my life. Eventually i weened myself off the main medication but I needed it to get to that point. Usually depression plays a role and just learning to identify when the depression is happening is another critical element. You are being very brave and following thru with it will change your life. Good Luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
assTronomical Posted July 19, 2014 Report Share Posted July 19, 2014 I want to applaud you for choosing to get professional help. I did so many years ago and it saved my life. Admitting to the need for psychotherapy, sadly, is still stigmatized to a degree in society. I feel it shows great courage and a strong character to get help and go through the process. I wish you all the best! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators drscorpio Posted July 19, 2014 Moderators Report Share Posted July 19, 2014 Therapy has been very helpful to me in dealing with the issues you say you are having. Good luck; I think it will help things get much better for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kylan Posted July 20, 2014 Report Share Posted July 20, 2014 Deciding to go to therapy is a very positive and self-caring step to take in your life. Good for you. I've been through three different "bouts" of therapy and found each of them to be very helpful in sorting out various things going on with me at the time. (Frankly, I sort of think everyone would benefit from having some therapy. ) And while it may occasionally be emotional, therapy doesn't hurt or and it doesn't take huge amounts of time, so why not? The thing about therapy is that it is mostly a chance for YOU to talk. The benefit is that you get to talk with someone who is only there to help you sort out what you need and want and feel. Therapists don't have opinions about what you should do and aarent there to advise you on decisions. What therapists do is LISTEN very careful so that they can remind you when, for instance, something you say today about your boyfriend is similar to something you said a while ago about your Mom. Or when you are hating something today, they can remind you that you were praising it last month. That doesn't tell you what to do, but it helps to FOCUS and BALANCE your sense of how you think and feel about emotional things. So you are in a better place to make choices and decisions without the sense of being overwhelmed. Or to understand why you feel certain ways sometimes. It doesnt solve everything, but you should feel less rocky. Finally, once in a while, a patient doesn't connect with the therapist. If you feel like that, talk to the therapist about it, it isn't a criticism or sin. And then feel free to look for someone else and/or ask for a reference to another therapist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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