Barebacking Risks

[ethnicbottom]

I apologize if this question has been asked numerous times here but I can't seem to get any clear answers.

I am a total bottom who loves taking anonymous loads, as many as I can. I usually frequent bathhouses and that is probably where I contacted HIV (unknowingly).

After the initial shock was over, I was actually relieved to bareback without any fear or hesitation. The sense of freedom and joy that I experienced during my first post-diagnosis fuck was just out of this world. I no longer had to worry about asking the guy to pull out before coming. I relished this freedom.

Unfortunately, this jubilation phase was rather short-lived. A few months ago I contacted syphilis. That's when I started taking other STI's more seriously. But the scariest of them all is Hep C. I have been reading that the infection rate is on an upward swing in the last few years. Although, I like to take as many dicks as I can during my binges at bathhouses, I never indulge in drugs, fisting or any form of rough sex. No sure if this is enough to keep the little Hep C fucker out or not.

Now, I have tried but failed miserably to stop having anonymous sex at bathhouses. The feeling of a raw dick shooting its goodness inside my ass is something that I cannot imagine my life without. I don't know if this is something I should fight, maybe treat it like a dangerous addiction and get into therapy?

Or should I accept it as something that's part of me and continue to enjoy my life?

My question for others who might be in a similar boat: How do you rationalize this risk? Are there certain steps that I can take to make sure that I can continue to bareback but still stay relatively healthy? 

A little voice inside me tells me that once you get HIV, you are free. Other STIs like syphilis, clap, gonorrhea, HPV etc can be easily treated if one gets checked out frequently. Is this the right approach? Or am I in denial and making up excuses to continue barebacking?

Please do not judge or give a lecture on ethics or morality.

[seaguy]

Maybe you should try hooking up with guys using BBRT where you can at least have a little bit of screening via their profile.  Bathhouses attract guys who want anonymous sex thus your going to get all sort and if your doing it anonymously its even more of a crap shoot.  Basically the only way to avoid STD's is to ask the guy, or keep your eye out for the tell tale signs of certain ones.  Like if someone has discharge from their penis, or if they are jaundiced I would say hell no.  But honestly there is no way to make yourself 100% safe from STD's you can use whatever methods are available and work for you to reduce your risk.  I would avoid guys who are total tweakers and don't take care of themselves and maybe stick to the bathhouse that has onsite STD testing cause at least that means there is a chance that some of the guys are taking advantage of that so the STD cases are lower.

[wood]

I apologize if this question has been asked numerous times here but I can't seem to get any clear answers.

I am a total bottom who loves taking anonymous loads, as many as I can. I usually frequent bathhouses and that is probably where I contacted HIV (unknowingly).

After the initial shock was over, I was actually relieved to bareback without any fear or hesitation. The sense of freedom and joy that I experienced during my first post-diagnosis fuck was just out of this world. I no longer had to worry about asking the guy to pull out before coming. I relished this freedom.

Unfortunately, this jubilation phase was rather short-lived. A few months ago I contacted syphilis. That's when I started taking other STI's more seriously. But the scariest of them all is Hep C. I have been reading that the infection rate is on an upward swing in the last few years. Although, I like to take as many dicks as I can during my binges at bathhouses, I never indulge in drugs, fisting or any form of rough sex. No sure if this is enough to keep the little Hep C fucker out or not.

Now, I have tried but failed miserably to stop having anonymous sex at bathhouses. The feeling of a raw dick shooting its goodness inside my ass is something that I cannot imagine my life without. I don't know if this is something I should fight, maybe treat it like a dangerous addiction and get into therapy?

Or should I accept it as something that's part of me and continue to enjoy my life?

My question for others who might be in a similar boat: How do you rationalize this risk? Are there certain steps that I can take to make sure that I can continue to bareback but still stay relatively healthy? 

A little voice inside me tells me that once you get HIV, you are free. Other STIs like syphilis, clap, gonorrhea, HPV etc can be easily treated if one gets checked out frequently. Is this the right approach? Or am I in denial and making up excuses to continue barebacking?

Please do not judge or give a lecture on ethics or morality.

First off if you are having sex, as a gay man, you should be getting quarterly full panels of STI tests at a minimum, more so if you are having sex at bathhouses, or during times of "excessive participation" 

 

Should you worry about other STI's? possibly, but really you need to be taking care of your health in general.  You should also be on meds for HIV.  Without them, your immune system doesn't function as well, and you are much more likely to pick up lots of random bugs.  

 

HCV is an issue, and as a HIV+ guy, all the research suggests you are at higher risk for infection.  The one sure thing you can do to somewhat lower your risk for HCV is to NEVER use drugs like meth, and never have sex with guys that use it.  They have a much higher rate of infection than other groups, and are more likely to pass it on to you.  Also avoid excessively rough sex, and always use plenty of lube.  

[ethnicbottom]

seaguy, wood:

 

Thanks for the advice.

 

I am currently on meds and undetectable with pretty good cd4 numbers. Never do drugs (except poppers) - not even cigarettes or occasional 420.

I usually get tested for other STIs every 6 months but I agree that I probably should do it every 3 months at a minimum.

 

By the way, and I know it sounds like a stupid question, but what really does constitute rough sex? I don't get fisted or allow tops to get rough at all. For me its usually taking raw dick and letting the top come inside me. Also, use plenty of lube. 

 

So I guess the real question I had was ...

 

I read about all these bare backers who have been doing it more many years. I just want to hear from them as to what they do to protect themselves. My theory is that if you bareback, it doesn't matter whether you go to a bathhouse or not, because unless you are in a monogamous relationship you have no idea what the other guy is up to. He might 'look' nice and clean but how do you know if he took anon dick all night long at a bath house last Friday

 

My thinking is that, with the exception of HCV, if I get tested regularly and take medication as directed I should be able to manage other STIs. Is this the right way to approach the issue? I know that it will be very difficult for me to stop barebacking ... believe me I have tried but just can't stop.

[wood]

I read about all these bare backers who have been doing it more many years. I just want to hear from them as to what they do to protect themselves. My theory is that if you bareback, it doesn't matter whether you go to a bathhouse or not, because unless you are in a monogamous relationship you have no idea what the other guy is up to. He might 'look' nice and clean but how do you know if he took anon dick all night long at a bath house last Friday

 

My thinking is that, with the exception of HCV, if I get tested regularly and take medication as directed I should be able to manage other STIs. Is this the right way to approach the issue? I know that it will be very difficult for me to stop barebacking ... believe me I have tried but just can't stop.

Well IMO you are partially incorrect on the baths issue.  Even look on here about stories about people who go to the baths often.  They almost brag about having tons of STI's and passing them on.  In other settings, like having some FB's etc, IMO there is more communication about whats going on and potential things you should get checked out.  IMO a lot of guys at the baths just don't care, and will pass anything they want on.  Additionally as I mentioned before there is the drug culture at bathhouses that really just breeds all kinds of infections.    

 

As for your question can you manage other STI's, and really thats a loaded question (no pun intended) Before HIV people thought they could manage all the STI's and never have an issue, but HIV obviously changed all of that.  Additionally STI's affect everyone in different ways.  For some people its very hard to clear some infections whereas other people while constantly exposed never get sick or symptomatic  A good example of this is HSV1 and HSV2 (herpes) Its estimated that many gay men have herpes, but not all get symptoms, while others get outbreaks often.  Additionally you need to stay on top of things like HPV, and get anal pap smears.  I just had one come back abnormal, which is somewhat expected, but it also means more tests.   

 

Personally I think you have to judge what you are willing to put up with.  If you bareback you will get STI's, that's a given.  What and how often are the only variables.  Additionally every 6 months is way too long if you are going to the baths.  You are likely carrying gonorrhea and chlamydia because especially if you exclusively bottom, they are very often asymptomatic.

 

If you are being responsible about your sexual health a person barebacking who is HIV+ like yourself is probably going the doctor or should be a minimum of 5-6 times a year.  More often if you have issues.  No one can tell you what your situation is going to be like.  I have a friend who is HIV+ undetectable that takes on average 10+ different dicks a week, but he almost never has issues, in contrast I know guys who have had 2 different guys in the course of three months pick up something each time.  Everyone is different.

[ethnicbottom]

Hi Wood,

Thanks for the honest reply. I agree with a lot of what you're saying. I guess I am just trying to justify my behavior and trying to seek validation, especially where none exists.

Just to be clear I go to the bathhouses maybe once every 3 months or so. But that doesn't mean anything ... if I am going to catch something I will catch it regardless of the frequency of my visits.

Its just that I find it very convenient to visit bathhouses. When I am in the mood, I just go there and get fucked. I don't have to go through a million emails, trying to figure out directions, and I can sample.

I am thinking that at the least I can try to be more selective about my partners when I'm at a bath house, but that's difficult to do as many people don't show any obvious symptoms. Guess thats true whether you're at a bathhouse or not.

Fuck, this is a dangerous addiction! Sometimes I really feel helpless.

[wood]

Hi Wood,

Thanks for the honest reply. I agree with a lot of what you're saying. I guess I am just trying to justify my behavior and trying to seek validation, especially where none exists.

Just to be clear I go to the bathhouses maybe once every 3 months or so. But that doesn't mean anything ... if I am going to catch something I will catch it regardless of the frequency of my visits.

 

Fuck, this is a dangerous addiction! Sometimes I really feel helpless.

Well from your previous statements I got the feeling you were going at least weekly, going every three months is no issue IMO.  A healthy sex life is also one you really enjoy, and sometimes that's all the validation you need.  Personally I wouldn't feel bad, and I would just keep on top of your health.    

[Guest ff-whole]

it's a real pity though isn't it...? that there is no way that having raw and dirty (piggy) sex can't be had anymore without the danger of catching anything.

wouldn't you wish there were no diseases at all and one could just have all the sex with loads of cum with men and women, whichever way one would like to have it...

I am getting older now and fortunately I am getting raunchier every time I am having sex... If I would know I only had a year or so to live, I would definitely and completely be a pig and just visit the worst and raunchiest parties, like the ones they have in Berlin.

But every time I get a wake-up call in a post like this one...

[wood]

it's a real pity though isn't it...? that there is no way that having raw and dirty (piggy) sex can't be had anymore without the danger of catching anything.

wouldn't you wish there were no diseases at all and one could just have all the sex with loads of cum with men and women, whichever way one would like to have it...

I am getting older now and fortunately I am getting raunchier every time I am having sex... If I would know I only had a year or so to live, I would definitely and completely be a pig and just visit the worst and raunchiest parties, like the ones they have in Berlin.

But every time I get a wake-up call in a post like this one...

well the simple reality is that that time of "no danger" never existed.  Guys in the 70's and early 80's caught all sorts of things including Hep B which was a 6 month recovery process at best.  And even then there was still the numerous other STI's.  Its hard to say how much of that was made worse by undiagnosed early HIV cases, but the point still stands that sex will always have risks.  With that said I am not giving it up anytime soon. 

[PhilUrass]

 

My thinking is that, with the exception of HCV, if I get tested regularly and take medication as directed I should be able to manage other STIs. Is this the right way to approach the issue? I know that it will be very difficult for me to stop barebacking ... believe me I have tried but just can't stop.

 

 

Well, that's my approach. Life is full of risks - every time I step out the door, I run a risk. And staying in, I run the risk of the roof falling of the gas exploding. An STI infection is more likely than those, but I weigh up the benefits and accept the risk. I had the clap a couple of times when I was neg, from gob jobs...it's a quick and easy thing to clear up. Same with most other STIs. My view is that they're made out to be terrible things to acquire by people with sex/shame issues. If someone gets a verruca from a public pool, they're not judged for having used a public pool. Shit happens. Get tested regularly, take the meds as directed if you're diagnosed and refrain from sex until it's cleared.

[RideMyBlkDik]

  If you bareback you will get STI's, that's a given.  What and how often are the only variables.  Additionally every 6 months is way too long if you are going to the baths.  You are likely carrying gonorrhea and chlamydia because especially if you exclusively bottom, they are very often asymptomatic.

 

If you are being responsible about your sexual health a person barebacking who is HIV+ like yourself is probably going the doctor or should be a minimum of 5-6 times a year.  More often if you have issues.  No one can tell you what your situation is going to be like.  I have a friend who is HIV+ undetectable that takes on average 10+ different dicks a week, but he almost never has issues, in contrast I know guys who have had 2 different guys in the course of three months pick up something each time.  Everyone is different.

Indeed everyone is different.

I would say it's now anywhere between 12 to 15 years since I really became a bareback addict. I am not unlike many of the guys on this site who hardly ever use a condom. So for the past 12 to 15 years I have fucked and fucked and fucked like few other men I know. I am and have always been a total strict top.  I fuck raw 99% of the time.  It's impossible for me to even begin to count how many men I have topped raw since I took the plunge into being a bareback addict. I have done bareback sex parties, bathhouses, saunas, cabanas, glory holes, adult bookstores....you name it. And I have traveled extensively overseas barebacking on just about every continent in the world. 

And I cannot explain why I never caught any STI's until about 2 years ago. So for 10 to 13 years I never caught a single STI. Never!

I wish I could understand why I didn't catch anything for those 10 to 13 years...especially since I fucked hundreds of guys raw during those years. Hundreds!!

I have always been HIV negative. I am still HIV negative today. But in the last 2 years I caught gonorrhea a few times. 

Indeed everyone is different.

[snaketat]

As a life long barebacker, I never had a single STI/STD.  In over 35 years of taking it raw, nothing crawled up my ass and bit me.  UNTIL!

You know that here is always a but or until.   Until, I started actively chasing last September.  Had fuck flu by Thanksgiving, syphilis in December and now added gono here in January.   Not sure if I was just lucky or if I was sero sorting much more than I ever thought I was.  

 

It took me a long time to get to the place I am.  No doubt, I am having the most and best sex of my life, but there is a price.  One of the real basic thoughts I had to  fully accept was that once I started chasing, the very next cock could poz me.   While it was not the NEXT one, it did not take long until a "undetectable" guy had done the deed.  

 

I will never give advice on the decision to or not to bareback or even to consider wanting to convert.  Those are highly personal decisions and each guy must know his own mind before acting.  

[CumBustion]

IMHO, I don't think its an "addiction" or that you need therapy. It is perfectly natural to want sex without condoms as it is the way sex was intend to be. I know a lot of girls who also fuck raw with men they barely knew. They had every intention of having the man use condoms but ended up fucking raw and most times letting him cum in them. Whether it was old lines like "I just want to put the tip in/just a few strokes then I'll put one (condom) on," "I promise to pull out," or "I promise I'm clean/I can't get you preggos cuz I got the operation," they contnually have unprotected sex. Maybe it was the heat of the moment, the alcohol/drugs, or she was super horny and he was just too sexy. Deep down, though, there was some unrelenting desire to be bred.

As for me, even though the physical sensation of sex with a (non-latex) condom feels good, it doesn't feel the same. I love feeling every nuance of the dick and the texture of his skin gliding against my hole. Mentally/emotionally, sex with a condom feels super dissatisfying. I yearn for that feeling, the deep connection with the top that comes from his essence in me. Hindus say that a man's semen is his spiritual energy. Thats why women and bottoms crave it. Scientifically, semen is full of minerals and hormones that, when ingested rectally/vaginally/orally, can cause feelings of euphoria and pleasure. The more semen you ingest, the bigger the "high."

So no, it is not unnatural for you to crave a top's cum breeding and seeding your hole.