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  • 4 months later...
Posted
On 3/20/2021 at 1:07 PM, Mlo said:

Should I? Any ideas where the story should go?

Well, I think that this is the beginning of a revenge game between Derek and James that develops the two of them into true debaucherous pigs-turned sadists, who fall in love over their mutual enjoyment of torturing each other in various ways.

Posted
On 12/17/2014 at 6:58 PM, Top-Secret said:

this is an awful story . even though it might be fictional , i'm sure guys are out pozzing others like this and it breaks my heart . i have friends who passed away from HIV so it sadden's me to read a story like this . GUYS WHO ARE ON HERE DOING THAT FOR REAL "I WISH YOU WOULD STOP." 

 Don’t like it move on it’s that easy 

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted (edited)
On 3/20/2021 at 12:07 PM, Mlo said:

Should I? Any ideas where the story should go?

Yes, actually.  I sort of copied your work, edited a few grammar errors, went a few minor direction shifts from your baseline and kind of pushed your ending a bit further.  But this is your story and I have no right to post your work.  However if there is some way I can get a copy to you for review, I'd love to have your critique and comments.  I'm a professional writer, have been for forty-five years.  This work is good.  In fact it is one of the better pieces of work here.  Some of these stories are not as engaging.  Probably I'm stepping out of line and if so, I apologize.  It has been a habit of mine to edit adult works because there is so much potential for greatness but most authors would not be caught dead admitting they write what I call "content."  I do though I write for myself mostly these days.

Edited by Poztopguy004

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