Poz Envy

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

So yet another buddy converted. And has become a bigger pig than ever. I find a part of my warped mind being envious of my Poz brothers, including my many Poz friends here.

Please help reset my perspective, or confirm basis for my envy.

[MackyJay]

Guy down here in Davenport is still emailing me wanting to breed me and convert me.

[ancusp89]

I can see being envious of the freedom to be the biggest cum pig you can be, that's understandable.

 

Unfortunately, that is the only freedom or glamorous aspect of being Poz in my opinion.

 

After 25 years with this "gift", I would trade places with you in a heartbeat.

 

Taking meds everyday, the countless other ailments, hospitalizations, and continuous monitoring to make sure you're health is not degrading.

 

Then the Psychological drain of dealing with all that.

 

Not that all that will be what you have to go through, but after 25 years there are more reasons not to have it if you ask me.

 

I guess you really need to ask yourself if the freedom to be the cumpig you desire to be is worth all that.

 

If it happens, then deal with it, I wouldn't seek it out.

[Bottomhole]

What freedom? There are other sti's you can get. I don't feel any freer than before I was infected, the amount of people who want to hook up with me online is now less than half the number of guys than before. Don't be silly mate, and if you can get on prep. Unless you have your mind set on it, then do whatever you feel.

[bearbandit]

Diabetes (the result of high dose ritonavir, d4t and ddI), high blood pressure, high cholesterol (both prescribed drug-induced), lipoatrophy, lipodystrophy (the balls of your feet are fat: I walk, painfully, on skin and bone), Fanconi's syndrome (tenofovir poisoning: kidney damage severe enough that I piss away minerals and vitamins that should be recycled, and no, it's not reversible damage; yes, it can kill you - I was about a week from checking out before I was hospitalised), osteopenia. ED (the standard drugs are incompatible with my life-savers) such that I can't top any more. Isolation - your friends are always doing something you physically can't manage. Not 1, not 2 or even 3 pills a day: try 30.

That said, I've got an undetectable VL and over 700 CD4 cells, so I count as healthy. Still fancy the idea? Take your PrEP!

[Bottomhole]

That's really sad to read bearbandit, sorry to hear it. I wish they had prep in Ireland a year ago, or even a few months in my case, too late now. Sucks

Edited January 11, 2015 by Bottomhole

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

Thanks guys, I knew if I asked I would get alternate perspectives. Others?

[GermanFucker]

I don't want to come across as harsh, but there's still a point I want to drive home, so forgive me my bluntness.

 

Frankly I pity the fool who thinks that he needs HIV (or any other chronic disease) to live the life he wants to live. That's like longing to get cancer so you can become that amazing, saint-like, strong person you always wanted to be. It's bullshit. It's either in you or it isn't. Whether you self-actualize is up to you alone. Freedom is a state of mind, not a medical condition.

 

That's not saying that there aren't many poz guys who live long, fulfilled lives and have great sex on the way. It's just that you don't need HIV for that.

 

Also it's not the number of sexual encounters per se or the piggishness of the act that matters. It's the ability to enjoy yourself in the moment and to remember each fuck fondly afterwards what really makes for a great sex life.

 

I don't want to brag, but the kind of sex I'm having on a regular basis would probably make some of you guys want to cry (also one of the reasons why I haven't contributed as much lately). If I showed you pictures of some of the guys I've seeded you'd probably call me a liar. 

 

That's because I don't see my neg status as a disability, but as something that leaves all options open to me, so I can just enjoy myself like a kid in a candy store.

 

You're poz and on meds? Great. Let's fuck! You're neg? Bend over and take it.

 

Some of my sexual adventures are like scenes from Treasure Island media. Half a dozen guys in a hotel room breeding and seeding for hours. Well, that's what I call a friday. I've fucked muscle gods while others pissed on each other in front of a crowd of 50 cheering guys.

 

And two days later I can hook up with a student from the local college who wants to try barebacking for the first time because his boyfriend insists on condoms (or wants to take a load himself because his BF is a total bottom). I can be a safe-only guy's dirty little secret. Or a "straight" (yeah, right ) guy's experimental phase.

 

Because I'm not hung up on anything or defined by something. Instead I just go with flow and see where my horniness takes me. That probably wouldn't change at all if I were poz. But only because being poz wouldn't really matter: I already am sexually liberated.

 

If you have the option to go on prep, this should be a no-brainer. Just get over your psychological issues. Just let go of all of that bad karma like feelings of envy and start enjoying yourself.

Edited January 11, 2015 by GermanFucker

[wood]

So yet another buddy converted. And has become a bigger pig than ever. I find a part of my warped mind being envious of my Poz brothers, including my many Poz friends here.

Please help reset my perspective, or confirm basis for my envy.

I get it in theory, and I guess in some way I have had some envy before, but its goes away pretty quickly.  Being a pig has nothing to do with being poz, other than a side effect, and with PrEP, I suspect in time that will change.

 

I have a few good friends/fuck buddies who are poz, and I they are big pigs but i also know neg guys (mostly those on PrEP) that are just as piggy.   

[seaguy]

I don't want to come across as harsh, but there's still a point I want to drive home, so forgive me my bluntness.

 

Frankly I pity the fool who thinks that he needs HIV (or any other chronic disease) to live the life he wants to live. That's like longing to get cancer so you can become that amazing, saint-like, strong person you always wanted to be. It's bullshit. It's either in you or it isn't. Whether you self-actualize is up to you alone. Freedom is a state of mind, not a medical condition.

 

That's not saying that there aren't many poz guys who live long, fulfilled lives and have great sex on the way. It's just that you don't need HIV for that.

 

Also it's not the number of sexual encounters per se or the piggishness of the act that matters. It's the ability to enjoy yourself in the moment and to remember each fuck fondly afterwards what really makes for a great sex life.

 

I don't want to brag, but the kind of sex I'm having on a regular basis would probably make some of you guys want to cry (also one of the reasons why I haven't contributed as much lately). If I showed you pictures of some of the guys I've seeded you'd probably call me a liar. 

 

That's because I don't see my neg status as a disability, but as something that leaves all options open to me, so I can just enjoy myself like a kid in a candy store.

 

You're poz and on meds? Great. Let's fuck! You're neg? Bend over and take it.

 

Some of my sexual adventures are like scenes from Treasure Island media. Half a dozen guys in a hotel room breeding and seeding for hours. Well, that's what I call a friday. I've fucked muscle gods while others pissed on each other in front of a crowd of 50 cheering guys.

 

And two days later I can hook up with a student from the local college who wants to try barebacking for the first time because his boyfriend insists on condoms (or wants to take a load himself because his BF is a total bottom). I can be a safe-only guy's dirty little secret. Or a "straight" (yeah, right ) guy's experimental phase.

 

Because I'm not hung up on anything or defined by something. Instead I just go with flow and see where my horniness takes me. That probably wouldn't change at all if I were poz. But only because being poz wouldn't really matter: I already am sexually liberated.

 

If you have the option to go on prep, this should be a no-brainer. Just get over your psychological issues. Just let go of all of that bad karma like feelings of envy and start enjoying yourself.

Well said and I want to visit Germany even more so now.  You Germans are such nasty pigs, which I love.

[snaketat]

This post is the very heart of all topics related to HIV transmission and as such, should be mandatory reading.  HIV is real and must be understood.

 

That being said, I believe the value of a site like this is in the information and idea sharing.  I strong believe that being judgmental or telling others what to (or not to) do has no place here.

 

This series of posts has some of all of that rolled into the topic.

 

My views:

 

Becoming infected with HIV+ is serious.  Health, relationships, mental health, finances and about every other aspect of life is affected.  Anyone who converts WILL have to deal with these issues.   If you fail to understand the disease it will be difficult to manage the disease and the consequences will be more difficult to endure.

 

Becoming infected with HIV+ is, in my mind, a choice.  There are exceptions---but those exceptions are related to those who have no choice in the matter---children born to HIV parents, rapes, blood transfusions.   But in all other cases there is an option to prevent the disease from spreading.  Some are sever--abstinence for example.  Some are unpleasant---use of condoms for example.  But each person who passes on the safe option is making a choice that increases the risk.

 

I am an advocate of the concept(s) of personal responsibility, free will and self reliance.  Each choice I have made, regardless of outcome, is still my choice.  The better informed I am, the better I am able to understand and manage the outcome.  Notice I did not say better manage the  actual decision/choice.  That is still a judgmental call and has no real value because it varies with the experience and biases of the owner of the opinion.

 

Research....Understand...Decide...Accept.

 

Each of those steps is required for every decision and risking HIV+ is a clear example.  Failure to own up to those four steps is, in my view, the biggest risk.  Absent any of those steps I will make a decision that results in something I am unable or unprepared to deal with. Perhaps then I should be judged as foolish.

[hungry_hole]

Agreeing with ancusp89, Bottomhole, and GermanFucker, these are my comments.

 

Why wait until you're poz before you allow yourself to be a cumpig? Also, why get so involved in the chasing scene, which only lasts until you poz, when you can get into the breeding scene which lasts forever?

 

The "freedom" achieved by being poz keeps coming up. Bottomhole is someone who has not experienced that freedom.

 

It makes sense to find  advantages in the experience of being poz. But it does not make sense to use those advantages as a motivation for pozing. It's good that someone who's poz becomes aware of their eating and exercising habits. But wanting to eat better is no reason for wanting to poz.  Just eat well. Similarly, just be a slut and you may never poz.