Male Victim Of Campus Sexual Assault Speaks Out

[seaguy]

So I saw this story over on Huff Post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/01/27/male-victims-sexual-assault_n_6535730.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay%20Voices and watched the video.  But I found it hard to feel all that sorry for the victim.  He came across ass being snobby, and he fails to say why he did not just leave the stall was he "frozen" during all of this assault?

 

Just thought I would share cause I know that many BZ readers have had bathroom sex and would totally disagree with his comment about it being "so low".

 

These male rape victims always withhold what exactly the act was were they fucked, sucked?  To me that makes a difference someone who is raped anally experiences way more trauma than someone who is forced to have or give oral sex.

[drscorpio]

I had much the same reaction to this video.

[bbzh]

Of course the guy was being a little dramatic for the camera, but I do feel some sympathy for him. He is a twink and even if he wasn't drunk, he probably could not have done much against a bigger stronger attacker. I am a pretty big guy myself and I did have someone try to force himself on me in a cabin at a bathhouse years ago. We struggled for a while and he gave up because I was strong enough to stop him from penetrating me. If you find yourself in a situation where you are not turned on and someone decides they are going to fuck you, it's really alarming. This is why I don't get the rape in prison fantasy some gays have. There is nothing sexual or exciting about that. It's no different than being mugged or physically assaulted walking down the street.  

[melvin0095]

I can see this happening, and this coming from a guy that has said yes hundreds of times.. and no a few times.

The story does not say what actually happened.  Sexual assault can be anything from inappropriate touching to penetration.

Hell to me inappropriate touching is a good Saturday night out. To a green collage boy, that could be a disaster. No really is No.

 

Everybody here has said no, and then had to repeat it again a bit more forcefully. 

In one case when I was not much older than this guy.  I kicked a guy's ass, before he really understood, that no was no. Not everybody can or will stand up for themselves.

[seaguy]

I would have screamed rape if in his shoes I mean it is a college dorm there are always people coming and going especially with the shared bathrooms.  So I think he is playing it up big time for the camera and leaving out the parts that might make him look less of a victim.  He is cute though.  It's hard to imagine someone this day in age with apps, bathhouses, etc so desperate for sex that they resort to rape.  Those guys are truly sick individuals.

[bbzh]

@seaguy: if i understood the story correctly, the twink had been drinking and it was 5 am. If you think you are safe and you are attacked like that, I can see freezing up. And it had to be very unsettling to see the attacker on campus and very hard to go and report it.

[drscorpio]

I am rethinking my initial reaction. I believe I am applying a double standard because I would have had a different reaction to a woman telling the same story. I work at a university, and we are all now hyper-aware of the federal regulations to report any sexual assault we hear about. 

 

I think one of the big problem that college-aged men have is not so much not understanding "no means no" but not realizing that anything less than an enthusiastic yes also means no. And for some young men nothing short of a severe sanction like being expelled from school (or criminal charges) will teach them this. 

[cnyrawfukr]

I'm sure it isn't done intentionally, but some of the responses to this story border on the type of victim blaming that is common in more typical, male-on-female rapes. Suggesting he should of just left or screamed is not too different from suggesting a female victim shouldn't have drank so much, or shouldn't have been walking alone in that neighborhood. Whatever this guy did or didn't do to prevent or stop the rape is not important, he is the victim.

[seaguy]

I'm sure it isn't done intentionally, but some of the responses to this story border on the type of victim blaming that is common in more typical, male-on-female rapes. Suggesting he should of just left or screamed is not too different from suggesting a female victim shouldn't have drank so much, or shouldn't have been walking alone in that neighborhood. Whatever this guy did or didn't do to prevent or stop the rape is not important, he is the victim.

What comes across as victim blaming starts out with me as me trying to imagine myself in the same situation, and how I would have responded.  But no one knows how they truly would have responded because we respond to things based on so many factors at the time so unless someone invented a time machine or has a Psychic friend like Dionne Warwick it is all just speculation and I don't call it victim blaming unless it is being done to purposely discredit the victim.

[wow4761]

Regardless of how snobby he comes across, rape is a horrifying experience.

You may say, "Oh I'd scream." Well guess what, I used to think that ... until it happened to me.

There are a million reasons why rape victims don't come forward: self-blame (and no, it's never the victim's fault. The perp didn't have to commit rape), embarrassment, especially for guys.

Stop being so narrow minded and callous, just because you can't comprehend what rape does to someone's mind.