Castration - A Bottom's Ultimate Dilemma?

[submissivefaggot]

I've been wondering how to frame this thread without it coming across as as something for people to fantasize and jerk off about or as something too serious and detailed.

For the past 6 months I have been contemplating surgical castration i.e. having my testicles completely removed. My regular top first suggested it in jest almost. He regularly verbally humiliates me for my small endowment and as a submissive bareback bottom told me that I had no use for my penis or balls. We began to discuss it in greater depth and I have slowly been coming to terms with the fact that for the last 6 years (I am currently 22) I have proceeded to go from being what I thought was heterosexual (though I have never had sex with a woman) to accepting the reality that I am gay and moreover completely submissive and masochistic.

This has gone to the point where I actually struggle to achieve erections any more or actually ejaculate. The rare time I do usually only occurs when I am being anally stimulated. This has strengthened the idea that I have no use for my testicles.

On a superficial side, there is no greater turn-on than the thought of having an even smaller shrunken penis, no balls, less body hair and being used and abused by tops because of this. I have no doubt that many tops would get off on a bottom boi who has been castrated.

BUT and there are quite a few there are so many questions that remain...

1) What if I lose all libido and don't want to be a sub boi after castration or worse, am not as good a submissive? My top has regularly said that this doesn't matter and in fact is the way it should be - a sub exists for his top's pleasure even if he himself takes no pleasure from being fucked.

2) It's all very well being young, pretty and ball-free now. But when I get to 40, will I have the same appeal to tops?

3) What if, on the rare chance, I want to top when I get older? I might be able to take testosterone but I'm unlikely to cum and my cock will have shrunk anyway.

4) What other mental side effects will there be?

The question I suppose, and I'd love to hear tops and bottoms views on this, is to what extent should a bottom alter himself to reflect and demonstrate what he is? Should a bottom be castrated if his master wishes him to or should he do it of his own volition anyway? Do tops find a bottom who is castrated or is thinking about castration more appealing because they understand that they have no use for their balls? Should a bottom, if he's going to be castrated, have his cock removed too?

Either way - following numerous counselling sessions, I have now found a surgeon who is willing to castrate me. I've had several physical and mental evaluations in an attempt to determine what the likely impacts of castration will be on me and the results are that given I already have very low testosterone levels I will probably experience total loss of libido and erection abilities almost immediately. I am likely to lose all body hair within a year and being still young, may well experience breast growth. I am due to go under the knife in October - the delay is for good reasons, 90% of people who choose to be castrated choose their mind so the delay gives me time to reconsider should I wish. My main concern is that in an effort to try and get libido post-castration I resort to becoming even more degraded in the things I do, which will probably result in other health issues later down the line.

[rawTOP]

I'd worry more about the physical changes to your body. Your body naturally produces both testosterone and estrogen. Without your balls you won't be producing testosterone, the estrogen will become dominant and your body will start looking more like that of a woman. While some guys like fems, most gay guys don't - so it may have a negative effect on your sex life. OR you have to take testosterone...

I've always thought the best route for someone like you is to cut off the dick, remove one testicle and put the other testicle up inside your body. That way you keep producing testosterone, but by losing your dick and the appearance of your balls, you sorta achieve your goal. But I'm not even sure if it's possible to put a testicle up inside the body.

Keep us posted on your progress... Personally I'm fascinated by the whole process. I wish there were more porn out there with guys who've been modified. I found an art book once of FTM transsexuals once and was fascinated by the guys who kept their vaginas... It was sorta hot - literally guys with pussies... But of course they're in a very different headspace and usually wind up with women.

[4tops2use]

You might want to check out manginaman.com

[srb4887]

Personally, I don't really get it. I would never want to drastically modify my body. I also don't think I could trust anyone enough to do something so irreversible and have them still stay with me. I would legitimately consider castration if my bf wanted it but he loves edging me and controlling my cumming so I think it's next to impossible that he'd want it done. And I really like my balls... the way they look, feel, hang,....

This is kind of lost on me. I'm not judging those to choose it, but I just can't relate. It's similar to trans persons, I've never had those feelings and, frankly, it's a little hard for me to really empathize with them.

Though, I do have a curiosity. I'm a fan of Dennis Cooper and of reading about all the darker sides of sexuality. A part of me is scared that I might let someone do something like castrate me... or kill me. But my self esteem is generally shitty.

[Deaner]

Check out the Eunuch Archive at http://www.eunuch.org/ you'll find lots of people with more direct experience to discuss with. Personally, I'm probably with RawTop on this (perhaps a first, lol) in fascination with FTMs (female-to-male transsexuals) and penectomy while keeping the testicles. But both are relatively rare, so they remain a fascination rather than an experience.

Obviously you know that testosterone can be supplied artificially, but there is the consideration of whether you'd want that additional expense and hassle for the rest of your life (giving yourself an injection is a bit different that taking a pill). Body changes without testosterone are not limited to breast growth, you may find yourself growing plumper in other areas as well as your body takes on a more feminine appearance (and when I say feminine, it might be safer to think Susan Boyle rather than Angelina Jolie).

As for your attractiveness to others, I have heard random accounts of guys being severely unattracted to the idea, as well as smaller circles who prefer the look. It probably depends where you live. If you are stuck in a podunk town where tattoos and piercings get looked down upon regularly, you can bet that your dating pool will decrease. If you live in a larger metro area, you at least have better hopes of finding interested mates. Also consider whether your Top is a lifelong partner who will appreciate your decision for the next 60+ years (in which case, you have less need to worry about attracting others), or if you expect that you will be 'on the market' again by the time you're 30. I think it's safe to say that the 21st century has seen an increase in 'mainstream' gay men who have no problems with their sexuality, but still cringe at the thought of genital piercings, watersports, fisting, or other non-vanilla concepts.

Your libido may well decrease, but unless you have your prostate removed, I would tend to think that anal sex will still be enjoyable for quite some time. If you enjoy the submissiveness of sex, there will always be a mental element of pleasure in satisfying your man, even if you get no physical return on the act. Age is a disease that affects us all, so there is no way of saying how your attractiveness will increase or decrease over time. I don't know many 40-year olds who think, act, and look the same way they did at 22.

While October seems like a long time to evaluate your decision, might I suggest taking a bit longer to explore other options before resorting to such a permanent decision? If nothing else, you may find a more reversible plan that suits your and your top's desires. Chastity, prostate milking, temporary chemical castration, hormone supplements, or even a simple wardrobe adjustment (wearing a jockstrap 24/7 or locking chastity shorts) might give you a better idea of what's in store for your future. Even the addition of a humbling tattoo or restrictive piercing may satisfy your desires while being less permanent. Having a small, impotent cock may even in fact be more humiliating in the end than having it removed... it's all in how you play the part.

In any case, if you do decide to go through with it, do not underestimate the value of ownership in the matter. Surrendering to the desires of another allows him to take the satisfaction of ownership in it. Doing this of your own volition is something that you do for yourself, and is a process that can never be done a second time. Why make such a gift, and cheat your man out of the decision-making process (provided he is someone worthy of doing this for)? There may even be a time down the road when you are considered 'used goods', a eunuch who has been claimed by someone else and passed on as-is like a used car. (some tops who enjoy your decision may be appreciative of the fact that they don't need to foot the medical bills, but others may be uninterested because they were not able to participate in the actual 'taking' of your manhood).

Good that you are receiving counseling on this. The next important step is to discuss with others who have done it, and definitely with your man. This is something that can be delayed until you are absolutely sure about it, but it cannot be reversed if you change your mind a few years from now.

[Deaner]

Just a side note- the few people I know of who have been castrated were either 100% certain this was right for them all along and had no regrets afterwards, or had 100% no other option (medical reasons) and simply went through with what needed to be done. Being unsure about it opens the possibilities of regrets later. Being an unwilling 'victim' of someone else's decision may lead to resentfulness. If you are 50/50 on the idea, don't do it. If you are 95% sure you want it, take the next few months to eliminate ANY doubt before you go through with it.

There are lots of guys out there who even enjoy castration 'play'... realistic threats to their balls during the course of sex that never lead to permanent damage. If you find that you enjoy such situations, it is possible to live out the rest of your life keeping your nuts while enjoying the constant danger of losing them. If you find that this type of play leads to panic attacks or depression, then you are not a likely candidate.

[PhoenixGeoff]

Ahh...a question that can actually tax some of my esoteric knowledge of the ancient and medieval world!

My understanding is that modern castration is basically done for medical purposes or for aesthetic (or sexual) ones. In the past, it was mostly done as a means of keeping control over slaves (real ones, i.e. property; slaves and freedmen in powerful households often could accumulate a pretty big degree of personal power themselves; castration ensured that there was no means of them creating dynasties of their own), performing specialized functions that required contact with women they were not supposed to touch (e.g. in the Ottoman Seraglio in the Topkapı Palace) or, more recently, to preserve a good singing voice (castrati were popular both in church and secular music (

's a good approximation of the latter from a pretty woofy American countertenor, though I imagine he'd probably need a ball gag in the sack).

From what I've read, castration (especially if done after puberty) does not kill off your sexual desire. There are records of highly placed eunuchs, like the Byzantine general Narses, who still appreciated the company of women (what he may have actually done with them is a matter of conjecture). However, I doubt you'd keep the same level of sexual intensity going after castration due to the declining level of testosterone (that's why castrating sex offenders is actually a decent means of preventing recidivism).

How attractive is it? Well, based on Rule 34, I'd say there are at least some guys out there who'd like it. I doubt it's a terribly large number (although given how few guys seem to be willing to go through with castration, there could be lots of frustrated men looking just for a guy like that).

It may also be partly reversible, at least to some degree. I know more than one guy who receives regular testosterone injections; low testosterone seems to be a fairly common problem with middle-aged or older guys with HIV. I believe it's also used with FTM transsexuals. No doubt it could also be used to restore testosterone lost due to castration too. In that case, you'd probably still get the masculine traits (facial & body hair, musculature, deeper voice, sex drive, etc.) you have today.

[submissivefaggot]

Thought it was time for an update - I am booked for my castration this coming Friday. My regular top has organized for me to have a final orgasm this Wednesday, where I will also be subject to numerous tops fucking me.

I'm still slightly scared, but now convinced that this is my route in life. I think it will be fascinating to see what happens post-castration. Thinking of starting a blog, not only updating the castration, but my general life as a submissive bottom.

[rawTOP]

Thought it was time for an update - I am booked for my castration this coming Friday. My regular top has organized for me to have a final orgasm this Wednesday, where I will also be subject to numerous tops fucking me.

I'm still slightly scared, but now convinced that this is my route in life. I think it will be fascinating to see what happens post-castration. Thinking of starting a blog, not only updating the castration, but my general life as a submissive bottom.

Post pics here - both before and after pics, and then as it heals... Would love to see the progress...

[JoshLandaleXXX]

I dont understand it, as i'm happy being a guy, with a dick, who gets fucked by other guys, with dicks....

Thats why I'm gay, and proud of it also.

That said, i will never judge others for what turns them on, or the decisions they make, we are all different, and thats what makes the world so freakin great!

[ruralguy7326]

Mate its your life. I can't get my head around that one because I like to 69 and being "vers" I also dig guy's who can bat on both teams. Good luck.

[jridge]

No offense of course, but I dont get it either. Just because someone is gay, does that mean they want to be a woman? Not I. Im very happy being a male and having male parts. Even being mostly a top, I love to lick nuts and suck cock. So this would def be a turn off for me. I guess Im saying I want my man to look like a man in every way, which is what attracts me. So I dont really understand this whole castration process, but everyone is different I suppose. Question I have is, just because someone bottoms, does that mean he doesnt have use for his cock anymore? I personally love to have my ass played with and licked, gets my cock rock hard. I just dont like anything actually inside it.

[jridge]

So did you ever go through with it by the way?

[spunk_mutt]

wow. it could be for you or not. that's permanent and no going back. I'm Gay, I love Men, a Man without a cock isn't a Man...so, I can't be Gay with it. Do you really never want to ever have an orgasm or love a man who loves you for you? Like a sex change this should be discussed and thoroughly analyzed with a therapist before the first and the last cut. OWN YOURSELF FIRST!!!

[OwnMyFuckHole]

I also can't really understand this; I just don't get it. What puzzles me is wondering if this wanting castration falls into some gray area between being a gay male and being transexual. What confuses me is wondering why a man who desires castration (and penectomy) of their partner differs that much from their wanting to be physical with or being attracted to an actual female. Does the one considering castration desire to "feel" more feminine or less of a sexual being, i.e, asexual? I can appreciate (at least on an academic level) that a man wanting to be physical with another man who lacks a cock and balls obviously goes beyond the attraction merely to "body parts," but at this point, I'm at a loss to be able to understand the dynamic between the "castrati" and the "man." I'm quoting the previous words to demonstrate my lack of understanding the dynamic of each individual's role. In no way am I making a negative judgement. I'm simply trying to convey that my understanding of this matter is in limbo. I welcome anyone who can provide an explanation to de-confuse me.

For me, I love being a male and love being gay and love being sexual with a man who desires me as a male, i.e., my possessing the physical attributes and masculine physical features not present in a female. When I'm getting fucked, my Top can call my hole a mancunt, man-pussy, boi-pussy, mangina, or any other pseudo-female "vaginal" euphemism he wants, however we both know he's fucking my shit chute, the "end of the line" of my digestive tract.

Plus, no matter how many Tops say that a Bottom to them is just a couple of holes to fuck and unload in, my experience is that, in general, whether they admit or not, I think Tops want to be "good" Tops. After all, I want to be an awesome Bottom every time my ass is spread. Why wouldn't a Top want to be the best fucker in town? My experience has been that Tops like a Bottom to praise their performance; it's natural for one to be receptive to reassuring words like "Christ, you are the hottest fucker who's ever bred me!" (even if the Bottom is being generous with his comments). After all, given that a Top, by default, assumes some degree of dominance simply by the nature of his role, his ego may cause him to want to "crow" about his abilities as a Top man; having an ego is only human. From personal experience, any Top who has been able to fuck a load out of me without my touching myself was quite proud of himself and would remind me of his "talent" and strive to achieve such a goal again to demonstrate his prowess. I've read enough bravado in postings on this website from Tops to support my assertions. Sorry, I guess this last paragraph is starting to ramble a little off-topic, but I was trying to emphasize the dynamic of "man-man" sex as compared to "castrati-man" sex, while confessing my lack of understanding and appreciation of the latter. Therefore, I welcome anyone who can provide an explanation to educate and enlighten me. Thanks!