Long Dry Spell - Do I Give Up?

[shyguyuk]

Now been over 2 years. Was at Cumunion last weekend and didn't get a nibble. IDK what I'm doing wrong.

[TarzanBoy]

Are you on grindr or anything? Just advertising that you're a bb top or bottom should get you some action if you're anywhere near a city.

[fuckrogerbb]

Some times we have to step back and realistically ask what is "wrong" with me. In my case it is partially age, partly my stomach being too large, my ass is not firm anymore. I go to the baths and rarely do I get fucked. There are plenty of tops looking to breed, but the competition is too much for me. I'm not stopping though. Every once in a while I get lucky. You're too young at 37 to give up.

[shyguyuk]

Are you on grindr or anything? Just advertising that you're a bb top or bottom should get you some action if you're anywhere near a city.

I'm on grindr, scruff, sqirt AND Bbrt. Only ever had one hook up off any of them, and that was five years ago.

[NLbear]

Do you have pics in those profiles? Doesn't have to be a face pic. If I see a blank profile I move on. Unless someone sends me a PM with pics attached.

You may also want to try Planetromeo. Don't know if it is big in the UK or not but it is on the continent. Same for Gaydar. Both offer free accounts so you just might to give them a try. You are indeed too young to give up!

[shyguyuk]

Do you have pics in those profiles? Doesn't have to be a face pic. If I see a blank profile I move on. Unless someone sends me a PM with pics attached.

You may also want to try Planetromeo. Don't know if it is big in the UK or not but it is on the continent. Same for Gaydar. Both offer free accounts so you just might to give them a try. You are indeed too young to give up!

 

Yes they're all filled out including pics. (I'm on gaydar and MH as well but haven't logged into them in ages).

 

Grindr all I get is spambots. Scruff I get the occasional woof - usually from people in a different country. BBRT was the source of my one hookup, in 2013, and it was a 120-mile round trip. Since then, nothing. The others - zilch.

 

I'm obviously doing something wrong, but I have no idea what.

[nastybottom]

Your profile says versatile. If you really have no preference, I'd try topping more (put "TOP" in your profiles). What's your cock like? If it's not really small or gross-looking, then I'd just put your hard-on out there and tell bottoms to get to work on it.   Shouldn't take much more than that.

[SuccessfulChaser]

You only need to look to your late prime minister Churchill for the truth.  In his famous 1941 speech to the Harlow school boys he provides your answer.   In that often paraphrased or (mis)quoted speech, he implored his audience to "never every give up".

 

And son, if that does not apply to chasing cock or ass, nothing ever will.   For every queer I know and perhaps even more for me, dry spells are part of life.  I hear stories that even straight people encounter dry spells.

 

It sounds a bit as if you are blaming yourself.  Don't!  But you, and only you, really have the ability to make a difference.  It is, in my vision, all about confidence and sales ability.   A good salesman creates a great story and learns how to tell it well.   Can you say the same about your profiles?   Do you contribute in online forums to tell your story....not just to chase cock?  If not, think of your story.  Think of ways you are unique.  Find the ways that YOU are the attraction and a good fuck is the bonus---and let folks know that story.  Lots of guys are begging for cock on line.   Many fewer guys are developed "characters" that have an attraction beyond a fuck.

 

And work on your confidence.  KNOW you are going to find what you want.  Exuding more confidence and being less needy have for me been key in killing dry spells. 

 

And never ever give up.

 

There is some great cock out there....and you will get your share.

Edited August 10, 2016 by SuccessfulChaser

[NLbear]

I saw your profile says you are in a remote location which probably limits your opportunities.

 

So, think about taking a 'sexcation' if you can afford it. Combine a sunny vacation with potential sex. Book a holiday to Gran Canaria in the winter for instance (high season is November through May). And don't be shy (as your name says). First time I went there I never had sunbathed in the nude or went to a resort with a high sexual tension such as Basement Studios (during daytime). I was shy too and it took some effort to drop my swim trunks. But I did as everyone else was nude and you stood out wearing something.

- Buy a week pass and just lounge around the pool there at first. After a short while you will have the nerve to wander around the maze in the back where the sex is. Even if you don't have sex there you will see some familiar faces in the evening so be friendly to other guests or day guests.

- Visit the bars with back rooms in the evening. Also takes nerves but (almost) everyone else does it so why not you? Again, first time I did this I was nervous as hell but after a few you couldn't beat me out of them.

- Make contact upfront on Planetromeo with guys who are going to be there at the same time as you (see travel adverts there, or other sites which have that option to see that). Even if you just agree to meet for coffee :-)

 

I am not guaranteeing you will get laid but the opportunities are there. Basement is expensive to lodge and there is not much going on in the evening but you can stay at Paso Chico nextdoor for instance (small also gay only resort with a pool) or another "gay interest" hotel/resort close by.

 

One or two weeks there means you have enough time to build up your nerve, as opposed to going to a city for just a few days.

 

Sitges near Barcelona is also hopping with men in September.

 

It's just a suggestion. It's been two years since I lived in Gran Canaria but nothing much changes there so if you want some pointers or help where to go PM me. I'll be happy to share what I know. Or look at the regional section here on BZ.

[shyguyuk]

So I was at Manchester Pride last weekend - edited my grindr and scruff profiles to explicitly say BB Bttm seeking loads, posted ads on BBRT, pinged people on all of them who looked interesting, spent hours lying in a cabin at Basement - got jack squat.

 

Can't afford more than long weekend vacations in the UK at all right now  did the Gran Canaria thing a few years ago and got jack squat then as well. Same with the time I went on an atlantis cruise.

 

I'm 37 and you can count the total number of times I've had sex in my life without using all your fingers. I just have no idea how to do this at all.

 

This sucks.