In love with a blind person

[skinster]

Dude, big things happen going only one step at a time. You want this relationship - you need to be in control of everything you can every step of the way. I still see it that you are putting all you have and enjoy with this guy on a weak hand knowing nothing on their possible reaction but playing poker going all in with all your eggs in one basket. You need to register that you can lose everything you've got there and avoid that as much as possible.

You need to discharge the situation before it explodes - you don't know his reaction to one thing out of many (that you carry in your head), you can't predict the reaction when news breaks to his mother about you and him and, if it plays, you two possibly going together. AND - you guessed it ! - you two won't be staying with her ... because ... you'd want to have all possible wild sex together. All the time. So he'd be moving out shortly.

If I knew you better (where I am making no claim to such effect here at all), I'd say you must be out of your mind (whatever the sweet reason for it). But you seem to be willing to let it play out free style in front of you, no rehearsals, in a single act of your scenario AND somehow expecting to be striking gold, winning the lotto and taking the bank all at the same time. Right. Triple whammies are too much, man.

Good guys win only in movies. Real people flinging wild cards all the time are far too unpredictable. You need to build the team on your side - it takes time, and you're already all hot and heavy - tell the guy and measure the reaction. It can not be a secret from him because it's your personal business between you two. If he is with you - I can only hope - it would be easier to manage the mother. She can run a ton of interference if she becomes hostile or suspects anything non-kosher you end just because of their co-habitation. And I can't estimate how strong or independent his judgement is, as you said he doesn't have a social circle - it is severely limiting his strengths. As much as you're confident in what you are doing being good, I assure you no one else between you three sees it your way right now, because they don't know everything you know - you need to open your cards to your guy. Otherwise it's just a fantasy with longevity of a soap bubble, all rainbowy and large, floating in thin air. As much as I would hate to see that.

You can not afford to be wise only in hind sight when thing didn't go your way - don't let them go there at any given moment you can. You're not the only dentist in town.

Edited July 4, 2017 by skinster

[Sharp-edge]

I get what you're sayin but still it's not easy. He just called me to say hi and we chatted. I told him i enjoy a lot his company and he told me the same. I told him i miss him and he told me he misses me too.

[BlindRawFucker1]

I know it will be difficult and scary, but you have got to tell him.

 

He is an adult, and has a computer, so he knows about homosexuality.

 

Just start asking him questions on different subjects.  Tell him you want to know him better.  Then bring up homosexuality.  Watch his reactions, and see if they match his words.  Go from there.

 

From his reactions, you'll have an idea of his true feelings.  And, as I said before, he could be gay, but not interested in you sexually.

 

You've never told us, exactly how long have you known him?  And you didn't answer when I asked if there was a father in the picture.

[Sharp-edge]

He does have a computer but i'm not sure what kind of content is he visiting. His father is a university teacher, he travels a lot abroad for lectures. I've seen him only twice he seems to love a lot his son. They look identical and i think their personalities are very close and quite different from his mother's. I know him for about a month. His treatment is not done yet, he will keep visiting me for a year at least.

[skinster]

Why won't you ask him? That's a conversation starter. I have no idea how blind people use something like that - but Fucker seems to have found this place and can navigate an all-text forum structure quite successfully. I have no idea how they find clickable and non-clickable areas on the screen without seeing it - every website is gawd awful different. Something like this place can be an acquired taste, but may be the computer in his room is not for furniture. You shouldn't be shy to show your interest in what he does if you have already imagined what you gonna do together sexually.

[BlindRawFucker1]

To use the computer, blind or very low vision people use software called screenreaders.

 

There are several of them: JAWS and NVDA.  NVDA is free and JAWS is a paid product.

 

They voice what is on the screen.  You can go to links, headings and other areas on the screen.

 

They can read most text, but definitely aren't as good as the human eye is for reading.

You should definitely ask him what he enjoys doing on the computer.  Does he have a smart phone?

 

Ask him if he has done much traveling with his father or other people.  Are there other relatives or friends in his life?  Does he have any other blind friends?  What type of education does he have?  Is he truly as much of a shut in as you seem to indicate?

 

You've only known him a month. You've got a lot to learn about each other.  As they say, "Rome wasn't built in a day."  In your case, I guess you would substitute "Athens" for "Rome."

 

 

[bbfarm]

I am a fan of Deven Green, an actress who lives in Hollywood and is known for playing Betty Bowers, America's best Christian.   This is one of her tag phrases: "I read porn to the blind". 

http://www.cafepress.com/devengreen.2020870881

I strongly disagree  with the need to confront your new friend with being in love and/or lust with him.  If he has lived in a room in his parents' house his whole life, that may be WAY beyond his emotional maturity level.

However, have you come out to him?  That is something which if it comes out too late, might seems like a betrayal to have withheld.  I mean you can see he is blind, but he can not see you are gay.  And if you hide this very important fact about yourself, then you are not being a good, trusting friend.  And you are not giving him the same consideration of having important information before building a relationship with you.

 

Coming out to him gives him some power of choice he deserves. He might not want gay friend!  There was an apisode of the Golden Girls where Blanche comes to terms dating a little person, and he ends up rejecting her because she is not Jewish!  She was so focused on what she saw as his handicap, she did not think about the rest of him, or her handicaps, for that matter.

 

If you are out to him, he can think about what you might be feeling towards him (and him towards you) in his own time and way. He can imagine lust, or a physical relationship - and all the possibilities and problems, just like you are going through a process of imagining things with him, with his physical self, his blindness, his family.  Coming out to him will allow this to gestate in his mind, and take the pressure off your need to declare more!! 

I think from making a friend (maybe one of his first?) , and then getting sort of an I-am-gay-and-I-love-you declaration could seem could seem caststrophic, like your motives were not true all along.

The question is are you out to him?  If not how can you come out to him as soon as possible?!!  Then give him the space to do the figuring (and hopefully fantasizing) with that HUGE chunk of information.

One approach I would consider is to ask him, in a moment of no pressure closeness, if you can tell him something about yourself, and you dont know what he'll think or his parents will think of you.

Then leave it .  He'll do the math. If he's not gay or not into the possibility it can all ramp down with minumum hurt or loss of face.

Another approach is to offer to read him some porn . . . ! 

 

[BlindRawFucker1]

You could always ask him,

 

"Do you have, or have you ever had a girlfriend, boyfriend or whatever?"

 

Then, depending on his answer, you could ask,

"Would you like to have a girlfriend, boyfriend or whatever?"

 

Do some investigating online, and find if there is an organization for the blind in your area.  If so, find out if he might like to go and see what they are all about.

 

I want you to ask yourself some questions.

 

Are you attracted to him only because he's blind and could be totally dependent on you?

 

If he were sighted, would you have any interest in him?

 

If, he were to miraculously gain his vision, would you still be interested in him?

 

If he is gay, and he is a top and he has no interest in bareback sex, would you still be interested in him?

 

But, it all comes down to one issue, you've got to tell him you are gay.  Nothing "WILL" happen, in either direction, until you tell him you are gay.  Is it scary? ABSOLUTELY!!

 

I don't know if you have ever come out to anyone, but it "is" scary  But this is something you have to do.

 

Almost everyone here has told you that.  Either settle for him as just a friend--which is definitely agood thing--or you will have to take the risk.

 

I, and I'm sure everyone else, wishes you luck.

[Sharp-edge]

I've asked him if he had a girlrfiend he said no. I'm attracted to him because he is very cute and he seems a very sweet person that intrigues me to know him better. I'm a quiet person myself so given his condition i guess he won't asking me of going to clubs which i despise. I also know that I will have to take care of him and if i decide to break up with him it will be very hard for him but i've started feeling nice things about him. Even if he is not a bottom we could still find a way, same for bareback sex. Ideally, I'd like to make him discover how nice having a dick inside him feels. I'm quite a dominant guy but I don't want him as a slave I want to respect him and love him. I like the fact that he seems willing to do thins that i've suggested him so far. Maybe he is equally obedient in bed too. I'd like him to be a total bottom with cum in him  
I've also considered, if he is submissive enough to try chastity with him but maybe this is too much given his condition.

[BlindRawFucker1]

This topic seems to have ended abruptly.  What happened, if anything?

 

Did you tell him you were gay?  Did he or his mother react badly?

 

This friendship/relationship seems to have dropped off the face of the earth.

[DarkroomTaker]

2 hours ago, BlindRawFucker1 said:

This topic seems to have ended abruptly.  What happened, if anything?

 

Did you tell him you were gay?  Did he or his mother react badly?

 

This friendship/relationship seems to have dropped off the face of the earth.

So glad you asked this Q BRF1, I loved your advice. Love to know how things turned out. 

[polyglutton]

On 7/2/2017 at 6:10 AM, Sharp-edge said:

 I also know it's not the best thing to have a love affair between doctor and patient but come on, it's about teeth it's not unethical for me.

Could you transfer his dental care to a colleague and carry on with the friendship? 

[Sharp-edge]

Hey guys. We didn't have sex but we're friends by now. He never had a gf, i haven't asked him if he's gay but he lets me hug him and stay like this. He likes to be touched.