In love with a blind person

[Sharp-edge]

Thank you both for your comments, I do agree with that you're saying. I don't know how his mother could not be omnipresent given his condition even though we do stay alone in his room. He doesn't have a guide dog but he has a rod. He can read braille, he has audio books as well which he prefers as he said and he does have a computer. I know that he is quite special since having an affair with him will mean a lot of responsibility for me but i really don't mind. I want to take care of him that is not a problem. He is quite social, he is definitely funny. Today i was tickling him and chasing around the room. Thing is, he needs a friend. I could try to be his lover and friend and if he is straight i could be his friend. But if he uderstads that i'm in love and he is straight he could just turn away. He doesn't deserve to be alone. When i come and go i always give him a kiss in his cheek and he smiles. He is not kissing me back but he touches my back as a hi. I also know it's not the best thing to have a love affair between doctor and patient but come on, it's about teeth it's not unethical for me.

[BlindRawFucker1]

If he has a computer, does he have an internet connection?  If so, ask him what he looks at when surfing the web.

 

When the two of you have gone out, does he use his cane, or do you guide him?  If you guide him, how do you do it?  You should let him hold your elbow.  Let him know if there are stairs or curbs in the way.  If you go through somewhere narrow, put your arm behind you.  If he's had proper mobility training, he'll know that he should get right behind you, so you can both go through the narrow area.

 

You said that you wanted to fuck him.  Even if he is gay, he might want to be the one to do the fucking.  Keep that in mind.

 

Keep us informed.

[Sharp-edge]

I'd prefer me fucking him but it really doesn't matter as long as I am with him. He's quite tall, actually he is tall so he can't exactly hold my elbow he holds my shoulders. I always tell him about stairs etc. I think about him all the time. He likes listening to music at youtube, especially pop and classical and he also likes listening to stories from online audio books. i wanna have him naked and bathe him

[BlindRawFucker1]

Unless he is freakishly tall, there is no reason he can't hold your elbow.

 

This is a technique called "sighted guide" that is recognized around the world.

 

You know what type of music he likes, what type of books does he enjoy?  Knowing that, could give you some clue to his sexuality.

 

Don't think of him as being so helpless, and you wanting to do everything for him.  Doing that, makes you no better than his mother.  You are interested in being his partner, you shouldn't want to be his keeper.

[Sharp-edge]

It's quite hard actually trying from the one side not to make him feel uncomfortable in the sense that he could feel i'm helping him too much and believing he is a burden and on the other hand helping him too much. I don't believe he is helpless i just want so much to make things for him. we have about twenty centimetres height difference. He is quite tall sometimes i have to tell him to watch his head. He likes fantasy books like harry potter, lord of the rings and things like that. Especially about lord of the kings he is kinda obsessed he has anything related to it. Wish he could sleep with me somehow but i don't know what his mother would think if he slept at my place. She is worried in general about him, let alone if she thinks that i want to "seduce" her son. 

[skinster]

Then you have wandered into a problem that only grows with time - you've let your fantasy run wild ahead of reality. You already made up your mind that you two will have sex, doing this and that. Partnerships don't work on steering from only one side. I have said it before, and see that I need to say it again - this thing between you two is mostly about you. You need to declare your intentions.

You've let your anxiety play amok with your head and fantasies, may be because you were too eager to rid yourself from some similar loneliness. And the longer you wait now, the more difficult it would be to break out free and clear and be open about your intentions. Between you two vs. explaining this to 3rd parties that won't be as friendly to you.

You need to open the curtains to the stage you've set up in your head and let him know that you are attracted to him more than a friend. Do it sooner than later and when you're away from his mother. And that's going off right into the deep end - you don't even know yet if he is gay however sympathetically. The BIG Unknown. Because then you would have possibly been leading him on and violating his trust being a friend and giving his mother even more ammo to be a helicopter parent. Bad, bad, bad. And it's double-fold difficult for you - you have to come out to him and acknowledge your 'more-than-a-friend' attraction.

Again, may be because it is an undecided question on your end, you haven't said anything about non-sexual prospects for this relationship. And I see that in best case outcome it would still be emotionally very difficult for you. As a 50-50 chance of him being possibly gay, if you would even get a response on this, would you stay around as his friend and socialite if he is not gay? And not attracted to you "that way"? Would you be as emotionally supportive to him, if this thing by chance stays afloat after your coming out to him and him being not gay, when you'd later on come across someone else that you'd take a personal interest in and have an emotional attachment, and that guy won't be in an immediate daily picture? You need to have these answers now, and they take time to be pondered on when your emotions are running way too high and fast for it.

These questions are far too serious now to ignore them, and you need an action plan for every eventuality, pro and contra, in your beautiful fantastic outcome for one. Or you'd cause heartbreak for you both, and there is no cure there.

Edited July 2, 2017 by skinster

[Sharp-edge]

I just don't feel it's the right time to tell him that i'm gay and i like him. I feel more time is needed. No matter if he is gay or not and what i have imagined, i'm not gonna abandon him. I will be his friend. His mother.. well.. i may sound stupid but i'm kinda scared of her. I think there is quite a strong possibility of him being gay. He enjoys me hugging him and tickling and that stuff. It's awful that he has spent his whole life in his room. If he is gay I'll try, when some time passes, to have him leave with me. But no matter what, him being happy and living his life is more important than my  love feelings. I'll be there for him. My heart beats fast when he is around. And it aches when i see his eyes.

[skinster]

No man, you won't know unless you ask and get a response - you may also find your guy tongue-tied and switching the topic. But you have to tell on yourself now - you will avoid bigger complications further down the road between you two, also with the same mother. Again, don't indulge your wishful thinking as you seem to be doing now. Human sexuality is a very murky subject even for the professionals, and you are wading pretty deep waters.

Because eventually the mother would learn you're gay. And she may be not as chill and accepting about it unlike yourself. If the son says he had long since known and he's cool with it even that he is not attracted to you - props for you, big weight off that chest. If she finds out you're gay, and you possibly seduced her inexperienced son (parents have quite more leverage in that claim), you'd be blamed for all ills in the world and then some. And for her, this news would arrive along with her own son being gay additional to a disability - who knows which way that spear gonna strike! Because I am positive she hasn't had a talk with her son on that matter yet - otherwise one of them would have mentioned that already.

As to the mother, I share your desire to avoid such people, even though I've experienced confronting similar individuals in the past. That gives no pleasure whatsoever and only works as a buzzkill. You need to foresee and minimize the fallout. Like I mentioned before - for every eventuality. You're not the only one yanking on that steering wheel of life.

[evilqueerpig]

Some of the blind use their fingers to "see".  Find out if he does this and if so, ask if he'd like to see you.

[BlindRawFucker1]

Skinster,I will say it again.  You are a smart guy.

 

Evilqueerpig, I'm not totally sure what you are talking about him touching, but one of the most disgusting things blind people do, in my opinion, is to touch someones face to discover how they look.  Totally creepy!

 

If you are suggesting he touch below the belt, that really isn't helpful advice.

 

I do appreciate you taking the time to read this topic though.

 

Everyone needs to kno that there are blind LGBT people out there.

 

In fact, many "normal" people believe that anyone with a disability is asexual.  Take it from me, blind men and women are just as horny as sighted people.

[skinster]

Thanks, Fucker. Anyone can enjoy a hug, so many of them over to you.

[Sharp-edge]

I don't think it's disgusting or creepy at all to touch one's face to see how it looks. He asked me if he can touch my face sometime ago and I said yes. I really liked it and i thought it was very cute. As for what to do with my guy.. i think it needs time. If i'm hasty it won't work out well I think. He said he wants to buy a book which i had. I told him I have it but he can't read it since it's not in braille. He asked me if i wanted to read it to him I told him of course and we sat in his bed very close i had my arrm over his shoulder and I starting reading. We both enjoyed it. I want him more and more

[BlindRawFucker1]

Skinster, right back at you.  Many hugs to you also.

 

A good hug is always welcomed.

[punaman]

I think you should kiss him, gently, first on the cheek then brush lips.  I'd not go farther than that yet but that is innocent and harmless enough. I have very straight guy friends who have no problem kissing me on the lips when we see each other and I do mean very straight. They're comfortable with their sexuality to do that. You can say the same if he's offended or backs off.  

 

[Sharp-edge]

I don't have the courage to kiss him in his lips yet. But i want it badly, I want to see him shirtless. We meet everyday, I hope his mother is not annoyed by me and convince him not to  see me or something. I'm thinking about him all the time. I need to see him more hours per day.