This is why I'm always angry

[bigdick4you]

It has been over a year now that my now husband  haven't had any form of sex. We got married like 7 months ago and not even on our wedding night!  Quite frankly I'm ashamed of talking to my friends about it so I vent on this website.i travel a lot for work and have enough fuck buddys to know that there is nothing wrong in my department. I just want to be able to have sex with my husband! He says im pushy about it,then it's that he is tired and has lots on his mind. Anyways there is always a reason not to do it! Sometimes I start massaging him to get things going as he enjoys being touched, but as soon as I touch his ass it's like u just want sex! I have also tried having him take the initiative but to no avail. We do plenty of little trips together where the atmosphere is certainly there but there is always a reason not to do it.i have also taken therapy about it and lately I have been smoking and drinking more than usual an I know that this situation has a lot to do with it. I met him over 5 years ago and he was an active bottom then which was great. We had lots of sex together and I got to whore him out together which I like. He has told me that he wanted to explore his top side but I think he uses that as an excuse as he is basically all bottom and I'm a top. I just don't know how long I can take. Lately he has been saying I'm moody and I know that not getting any has a lot to do with it. I love him but I really don't know if I can cope with it much longer...

[Guest PigTonight]

Vent all you want!

I am married to a extremely vanilla top. Which is fine since we are open.  We still fuck once or twice a week (always the same position), and he is not aggressive 

 

So in my playtime, I explore all the things I need (my pigdom).  

 

and just have to say a pig top husband who enjoys whoring out his bottom.. FUCKING WET DREAM! GRROINK!

[ConversionPiglet]

Could be guilt...something in his head

Could be depression

Could be that he isn't as in love with you as he was once

Could be that he isn't attractive to you as he was once

Could be just a normal part of getting older...some guys sex drive goes south as they age

 

[Guest Upstateguy518]

I find it weird that he just flat out gives up on sex. Do you think he's having an affair or anything like that?

[skinster]

That sounds quite disappointing. Not to be simplistic, have you tried asking him what's on his mind when he says it deflectively? May be a bit of reaching out at the opportune time would smooth things along. Also, low testosterone levels ruin a lot of possibilities to be socially active or engaging - have you both looked at it ?

[topstud127]

Lost of attraction to you, more mentally and emotionally, than physical

Having issues cleaning out or getting it up.

Anxiety, depression

Guilt, communal disease 

[bigdick4you]

14 hours ago, duroc said:

Vent all you want!

I am married to a extremely vanilla top. Which is fine since we are open.  We still fuck once or twice a week (always the same position), and he is not aggressive 

 

So in my playtime, I explore all the things I need (my pigdom).  

 

and just have to say a pig top husband who enjoys whoring out his bottom.. FUCKING WET DREAM! GRROINK!

Im quite verbal when having sex  and  will fuck u in several positions. I would settle for once a month to be honest! My husband has one of best holes I' have ever fucked! I have to stop several times during a session so I don't come too quick...I don't have that with many guys...we r in open relationship so it's not like I want him to be exclusively mine sexually. In fact I loved when I was able to share him with other tops like I do with some of my other FBs. 

[bigdick4you]

13 hours ago, ConversionPiglet said:

Could be guilt...something in his head

Could be depression

Could be that he isn't as in love with you as he was once

Could be that he isn't attractive to you as he was once

Could be just a normal part of getting older...some guys sex drive goes south as they age

 

I definitely think it's something in his head...he told me once that it's normal to be more attracted to people u just meet. I get that....for me it's the same but no sex at all? I start to think it's cruelty and disrespectful from his part. I broke up with my last real relationship because I lost total interest in sex with him but I still had sex with him like twice a month...

[bigdick4you]

13 hours ago, Upstateguy518 said:

I find it weird that he just flat out gives up on sex. Do you think he's having an affair or anything like that?

No he is not having an affair...we have open relationship since the beginning. In fact I used to share with other tops but he always had like remorse afterwards. It's weird. 

[bigdick4you]

9 hours ago, skinster said:

That sounds quite disappointing. Not to be simplistic, have you tried asking him what's on his mind when he says it deflectively? May be a bit of reaching out at the opportune time would smooth things along. Also, low testosterone levels ruin a lot of possibilities to be socially active or engaging - have you both looked at it ?

I have talked to him quite a few times about . I always get like excuses....I'm too tired,I have too much going on right now,u r too pushy, u don't bottom, I have plumbing problems.... accept the fact that he is not as attracted with me after 5 years but to cut out sex completely doesn't seem normal to me. And even if that's the case why doesn't he let me share him with other tops? 

[skinster]

I find random humans being too convoluted to go around some hurdles. And smallest things being treated as insurmountable - even on my own account. A thing as 'being shared' could be a mental block for him, and he also may not be even thinking about something like that. Again, you two are separate individuals. Your fantasies are not the same and not happening at the same time and in the same theme. You know him best, there got to be an advantage of timing and comprehension on your side to engage him to find more detail into his reasons to do whatever he is partaking in.

[LittleCav]

All the signs are there - he's seeing someone else.

[Rawdawg13]

I'm very sorry, the situation seems dire and that alone can be depressing enough even without piling the actual problem on top of it.  I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings and hopefully the obvious but something is wrong.  Five years is not long enough to fall that far out of sexual relations....fifteen or twenty yes, but five not at all.  Granted, five years is probably the time most gay couple start talking about "spicing" things up...bringing in a third, role play, barnyard animals (I don't condone beastiality, I'm just saying everyone is different...whatever!), whatever....but a whole year??  For me and it sounds like to you too, that is asking, or in this case denying too much.  There is a reason why your partner is denying you and if he isn't willing enough to find out or even cares enough  then this relationship,  ney marriage, isn't worth "the price of admission you are willing to pay" to ride this ride.   It would be one thing if he said "I know I'm not sexual, I"m sorry it bothers you, help me find out why."  But for him to be straight up "I have a headache" for a whole year with no offer of self admission...that bothers me a little and it should bother you and obviously it does bother you or you wouldn't be here now. Few questions...do you know for a fact he is having outside sex?  If so, what do you know about it?  When you say you've entered therapy, what kind?  What are both your ages?  I know this seems random but what is his family like and more importantly his parents relationship like.  What is the financial situation/dependency in the relationship?  And lastly, is he a -holic (ie- alcohol, drugs, gambling, sex, food, barnyard animals (again, I don't condone that shit I'm just saying...).  I know you mentioned you've been drinking more but whats his story?

[bigdick4you]

11 hours ago, Rawdawg13 said:

I'm very sorry, the situation seems dire and that alone can be depressing enough even without piling the actual problem on top of it.  I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings and hopefully the obvious but something is wrong.  Five years is not long enough to fall that far out of sexual relations....fifteen or twenty yes, but five not at all.  Granted, five years is probably the time most gay couple start talking about "spicing" things up...bringing in a third, role play, barnyard animals (I don't condone beastiality, I'm just saying everyone is different...whatever!), whatever....but a whole year??  For me and it sounds like to you too, that is asking, or in this case denying too much.  There is a reason why your partner is denying you and if he isn't willing enough to find out or even cares enough  then this relationship,  ney marriage, isn't worth "the price of admission you are willing to pay" to ride this ride.   It would be one thing if he said "I know I'm not sexual, I"m sorry it bothers you, help me find out why."  But for him to be straight up "I have a headache" for a whole year with no offer of self admission...that bothers me a little and it should bother you and obviously it does bother you or you wouldn't be here now. Few questions...do you know for a fact he is having outside sex?  If so, what do you know about it?  When you say you've entered therapy, what kind?  What are both your ages?  I know this seems random but what is his family like and more importantly his parents relationship like.  What is the financial situation/dependency in the relationship?  And lastly, is he a -holic (ie- alcohol, drugs, gambling, sex, food, barnyard animals (again, I don't condone that shit I'm just saying...).  I know you mentioned you've been drinking more but whats his story?

As far as I know he is not having sex outside...but who knows?  I don't mind if he is or not as we have open relationship. If he is I would like to know about it.he always turns the table around so I am the one feeling like the pervert...I'm pushing him to have sex...I'm older than him and I make the most money. He has experienced with hard drugs and been a slut but he regrets it afterwards. He hardly ever drinks. He looks miserable most of the time and I feel guilty because I think it's because of me. His dad passed away and his mother is although loving a bit manipulating. I went to c a psycho analyst as he pushed for it. According to him I had a sexual addiction. The analyst found this not be true...he said I just had an healthy sexual appetite and told me that my husband was the problem.

[Rawdawg13]

I'm very sorry, the situation seems dire and that alone can be depressing enough even without piling the actual problem on top of it.  I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings and hopefully the obvious but something is wrong.  Five years is not long enough to fall that far out of sexual relations....fifteen or twenty yes, but five not at all.  Granted, five years is probably the time most gay couple start talking about "spicing" things up...bringing in a third, role play, barnyard animals (I don't condone beastiality, I'm just saying everyone is different...whatever!), whatever....but a whole year??  For me and it sounds like to you too, that is asking, or in this case denying too much.  There is a reason why your partner is denying you and if he isn't willing enough to find out or even cares enough  then this relationship,  ney marriage, isn't worth "the price of admission you are willing to pay" to ride this ride.   It would be one thing if he said "I know I'm not sexual, I"m sorry it bothers you, help me find out why."  But for him to be straight up "I have a headache" for a whole year with no offer of self admission...that bothers me a little and it should bother you and obviously it does bother you or you wouldn't be here now. Few questions...do you know for a fact he is having outside sex?  If so, what do you know about it?  When you say you've entered therapy, what kind?  What are both your ages?  I know this seems random but what is his family like and more importantly his parents relationship like.  What is the financial situation/dependency in the relationship?  And lastly, is he a -holic (ie- alcohol, drugs, gambling, sex, food, barnyard animals (again, I don't condone that shit I'm just saying...).  I know you mentioned you've been drinking more but whats his story?