I have come to an odd realization

[shyguyuk]

And it is this: I only care about sex when I'm depressed.

I'm definitely not asexual, but I have little understanding of how the whole mating dance is supposed to work, which is why at 38 you can count the total number of times I've got laid without using your toes.

But so long as my brain is otherwise operating within a first approximation of "normal", this... doesn't bother me. If it happens it happens, and if it never happens again - it'll be a shame, but not the end of the world. It's only when things aren't firing on all cylinders that I'm motivated to boot up grindr/bbrt or whatever (nearly always unsuccessfully, because I'm fucking depressed). It's like something else in my brain has to stop working before my libido can start.

Is this odd? IDK.

[cheatingjock]

Is it seeking approval/validation? Because I know I get sluttier when I’m feeling down. 

[shyguyuk]

No, I literally only seem to have a sex drive when I'm depressed. When I'm happy otherwise, I actively can't be arsed to even try and get laid. IDGI either