I have come to an odd realization

[shyguyuk]

And it is this: I only care about sex when I'm depressed.

I'm definitely not asexual, but I have little understanding of how the whole mating dance is supposed to work, which is why at 38 you can count the total number of times I've got laid without using your toes.

But so long as my brain is otherwise operating within a first approximation of "normal", this... doesn't bother me. If it happens it happens, and if it never happens again - it'll be a shame, but not the end of the world. It's only when things aren't firing on all cylinders that I'm motivated to boot up grindr/bbrt or whatever (nearly always unsuccessfully, because I'm fucking depressed). It's like something else in my brain has to stop working before my libido can start.

Is this odd? IDK.

[cheatingjock]

Is it seeking approval/validation? Because I know I get sluttier when I’m feeling down. 

[shyguyuk]

No, I literally only seem to have a sex drive when I'm depressed. When I'm happy otherwise, I actively can't be arsed to even try and get laid. IDGI either

[anonCUMtainer]

On 7/8/2017 at 5:08 PM, shyguyuk said:

And it is this: I only care about sex when I'm depressed.

I'm definitely not asexual, but I have little understanding of how the whole mating dance is supposed to work, which is why at 38 you can count the total number of times I've got laid without using your toes.

But so long as my brain is otherwise operating within a first approximation of "normal", this... doesn't bother me. If it happens it happens, and if it never happens again - it'll be a shame, but not the end of the world. It's only when things aren't firing on all cylinders that I'm motivated to boot up grindr/bbrt or whatever (nearly always unsuccessfully, because I'm fucking depressed). It's like something else in my brain has to stop working before my libido can start.

Is this odd? IDK.

I am working through something personal and it has brought me to the topic of asexuality. I am working on posting a new thread about this.

If the OP is still an active member - I would like to know how or why they are so quickly and easily (and perhaps confidently) able to rule out being ASEXUAL?

I have a very strong suspicion that being "asexual" is one of those [banned word] topics and people refuse to self-diagnose as an asexual as it implies that one cannot "conform" to societal pressure if they don't wanna have sex (or something along those lines - depending on your place within or among the asexual spectrum). I guess what I am trying to say is that it only further marginalizes the individual and sets them apart and makes them feel isolated.

So, OP - knowing what we know now as a society and global culture. Do you still reject that you are asexual? OR might you exist on the asexual spectrum?

[phillygwm]

14 hours ago, anonCUMtainer said:

I have a very strong suspicion that being "asexual" is one of those [banned word] topics and people refuse to self-diagnose as an asexual as it implies that one cannot "conform" to societal pressure if they don't wanna have sex (or something along those lines - depending on your place within or among the asexual spectrum). I guess what I am trying to say is that it only further marginalizes the individual and sets them apart and makes them feel isolated.

 

Asexual is just a label.  One of the positive impacts of this generation is they don't label themselves as readily as we old guys do.  My one niece dated a girl.  She never mentioned the L word (or even the B word.)  One day, she's with a guy and she's pregnant.  Her sister informed me, over a lot of alcohol on a cruise, that she's "pan".  Her BF didn't like that, but I jokingly (well, half) invited him back to my room -- sadly he passed on the opportunity but we all had a laugh.

Likewise, I'm not here to psychoanalyze people.  If you're fucking me because you're depressed, or have no self-esteem, or whatever, I hope you get the help you may need but, in the interim, you're still fucking me so I'm OK with that. 🙂 

I recently read a story on social media about a (female) OF model who rented an airBnB and fucked 100 guys.  The comments were predictably, judgmental.  Might she have some issues?  Maybe but she didn't harm me nor did she ask for my help, so why would I care?  In any case, she probably made more money that day than I'll make in a year, certainly enough to hire an analyst if she needs one.

[YourNoLimitsBottom]

My sex drive is pretty much always on no matter the mood, but this thread has made me think of some of the more dubious fucks I've had around a major depression. During this times I'm looking for cock from wherever and have settled for some bad environments. The sex didn't even make me happy, I used them for cock and cum and moved on.

That may be a big difference from my usual post-sex mood, normally I'm on cloud nine riding a high but the depression sex has never been satisfying.