Tell Me Your Thoughts On Hookup Sites/Apps & Finding Sex

[PaganzofLA]

Attitude. Whatever comes NEXT will, for good or ill, shape attitudes. And as far as user satisfaction goes, ATTITUDES are pretty grim.. Reddit's going public and there's carnage. Twitter, the clown-car with its new executive clown-in chief. Zoom OMG––lets talk about Zoom for A HOT SEC–––AROUND 2016/17 I'M EXPOSED ZOOM FOR THE FIRST TIME ––and because I saw nothing but gay men for days, naturally i assume it was a queer site. NOT so. The opportunity zoom offers to the gay community is essential, yet as it so happens ZOOM is NOT made for queers, and what we do on it is a violation of the Zoom's service agreement. Sure the pandemic is over, and we're still on zoom––but it's principle. It's an "everybody does it" scenario when what we need is a home, a sanctioned safe space to be queer online. A space where standards are made-up of something real that reflect the values of a real community. Mark my words, Facebook will seem nothing more than a glorified tip calculator, that is, if i have anything to do with it, because the world needn't live in Zuckerberg's smelly catbox forever. But how does this fit into the context of gay.apps you wonder? Well, why the fuck NOT? Why does the vision for "what's most needed in our community" not fit into the picture of a larger whole? What I'm saying is that we can do it better. On principle, we can create a www experience that serves our needs in a way that makes the straight world envious. Instead of having little corners of virtual-real estate here and there across platforms like facebook, tictoc, twitter ect.––we own the whole block. Gay Social Media that everyone wants a part of––now that's a thing. Can it happen? Why couldn't it if done right–– meaning NOT exclusively catering to a 'rainbow flag pride' contingency––but through its connection to iconic and emblematic elements of style, culture and creativity. But more importantly the question that needs to ask, should it happen? And for this I say it has to because there is no one, quite literally, steering the ship. Sure you could argue there really never is, but from time to time voices emerge that change the direction of things, and in this day and age we need that voice. And that is my vision. [think before following links] https://markezra.design 

 

[PromiseYouPullOut]

Remember how much fun AOL M4M chat rooms were? 

[AirmaxUK]

I think a big problem with the current. hookup apps is a lack of accountability. If people behave badly then there's no red flags to warn others. But why not turn that around and give green flags for being a good citizen? 

Much like Uber has a rating system when you ride - for both the passenger and the driver, I'd think there's a place for such a system on hook up apps.

How it would work would be an interesting PhD in Social Science... I think having only positive feedback and no negatives avoids the whole situation where people give revenge bad feedback and it has to be moderated.  Maybe there's a bunch of traits you can give props for - "Showed up on time" - "Accurate pics" - "Gave me a load" - "Took my load" - "Multiple loads" - etc...  All of these reputation points would be things that are based around an actual meet.  The idea here is that by being positive rather than negative in feedback it helps build more of a community.  

Perhaps some red flags are also needed to deal with bad actors - but would have to be moderated to prevent abuse.     

The only flaw I can see is that it may be difficult for newcomers to build a reputation from scratch. But reputation has to be earned, somehow/ - so it's sort of the point. 

[AirmaxUK]

22 minutes ago, PromiseYouPullOut said:

Remember how much fun AOL M4M chat rooms were? 

Yes.. Also I remember talkers like Lintilla's Multiple Worlds, some of the gay MUDs/MUSHs (ca 1994) and the IRC channels on efnet. 

[PaganzofLA]

Quote

I think a big problem with the current. hookup apps is a lack of accountability. If people behave badly then there's no red flags to warn others. But why not turn that around and give green flags for being a good citizen? 

Much like Uber has a rating system when you ride - for both the passenger and the driver, I'd think there's a place for such a system on hook up apps.

AirMax––thanks for pointing that out, and, yes, you are absolutely right, behavioral science demonstrates again and again that positive reinforcement is essential in the forward facing development of learned behavior. Something akin to the badges that users earn on message boards like this one, but represent something other than a token of some easily dismissed threshold. Instead your flags might represent a new privilege, responsibility or special position the user takes on––promoting both status and position according  to levels of proficiencies in specific content areas of expertise. I can very much see this happening.

Also, you may find it more than helpful  to deconstruct the systems that has allowed non-accountability to dominate the experiences on the www as we know it today. I've spend quite a bit of brain energy doing just that, and would love to compare notes. Thanks!  

 

[rjr334]

I like websites better than the apps. I find I have better luck on websites like squirt and bbrt. There’s not as many members but the ones who contact me usually will really end up breeding my hole

[fuckyouraw777]

There are some weird combos of interest you can find on Grindr tags and such, e.g:

• BB & CondomsOnly

And this on profiles that are probably real people and not on profiles which have obviously just pushed all the buttons.

And then there's the people who say BB but then want to use condoms (you'll not usually find them lurking on this site but I've encountered them).

Honestly, were I in or near a larger populace, it would be easier go to a SOPV (sex on premises venue): whilst people at them can also be picky and stand about etc. at least you know what they are there for and can see what you're getting, if you're not in the dark room of course.

[btmdad]

I have not found Grindr or BBRT  to be very dependable.  Way to many picture collectors.  I really miss Craigslist.   I had a very high success rate with CL.  So far my sucess rate with BBRT has been zero and a little bit better with Grindr.

[Guest Indynudeguy]

First off, thanks for your efforts.  My primary sites are BBRT and BZ.  Don't get many rt hook ups on BBRT.  My primary sex outlet is the local bath house, walk in, get naked, and fuck.  My perception of the hook up sites is that they really don't give pigs a chance to "classify" themselves.  I'd like to find local men easily and know that they are just after sex, and when they are available to get naked and fuck.  I like the wickedgayparties.com site.  

[jagmanaz]

Not much luck on apps at all.  Sall people do are collect pics.  Both connections that did happen, very disappointing

[bbttmm77]

On 6/17/2023 at 4:06 AM, AirmaxAndy said:

Much like Uber has a rating system when you ride - for both the passenger and the driver, I'd think there's a place for such a system on hook up apps

Rating system seem to be great in practice, but they are easily abused. See for example all the people who are paid to write product reviews on Amazon. Catfishers in particular could simply write reviews for each other or create account farms to create a lot of 5-star reviews. Also, once some people get the good reputation badge, it's very hard for new people to be even seen - the idea of the richer gets richer. And also, vulnerable individuals would be easily subjected to do things they don't want to just to get a good review.

I think it's impossible to get rid of the bad apples if you want to provide the level of privacy that gays (and especially barebackers) require. And you also create many incentives for abuse that we cannot even imagine.

[Bwccummer]

On 10/15/2023 at 7:06 AM, bbttmm77 said:

Rating system seem to be great in practice, but they are easily abused. See for example all the people who are paid to write product reviews on Amazon. Catfishers in particular could simply write reviews for each other or create account farms to create a lot of 5-star reviews. Also, once some people get the good reputation badge, it's very hard for new people to be even seen - the idea of the richer gets richer. And also, vulnerable individuals would be easily subjected to do things they don't want to just to get a good review.

I think it's impossible to get rid of the bad apples if you want to provide the level of privacy that gays (and especially barebackers) require. And you also create many incentives for abuse that we cannot even imagine.

I can see potential for abuse of rating systems.  I agree that could have individuals do things may not feel comfortable with. 

I also see problems of apps that not seem to remove problem profiles. I only want to use block feature for those that are wanting to do things that may not be comfortable with or is not ready to try. In past had one that wanted me to fist them and then can top. I personally didn't feel comfortable with fisting. Thus offered to just top. They wanted fisting, so I declined meeting. I did previously meet up with person. I think maybe more into bdsm or something. However, it would have been nice to give a heads up that have oil or lube or whatever was on them.

I ended up blocking the profile for seemed to want things that not comfortable with or figure to maybe ease into. Just seemed no ease into. 

I also had to block some that seemed too pushy. Wanted right now, or realize may not be a good match to meet up. However when I blocked, found a bit unnerving when individual blocked that use another account to send messages to where block them.

I try to be upfront in if can't host,  if can travel or not. Also to share if interested or not. I do find annoying in chat with someone to realize not likely meet for different combinations such as neither can host, neither have a vehicle, that one or both worked and tired. What after learn details can't likely meet in host or travel, the person wants to see pictures.  What for want to see pictures when can't meet. I decline sharing pictures. I have limited pictures and not want to just share for picture collectors. 

I don't understand want to see pictures when I guess maybe some see as safe sex or a way to fuck or get fucked without actually being fucked or fuck in show a picture of a ass or cock to say fucked or fuck by when not even meet.

I had so many ask for pictures that I finally had to write to go look at a adult magazine, pictures or video online. I guess some not want to go to adult bookstore to buy a magazine, or movie. However, can see online of adult websites so again not sure why want pictures. 

One time shared some pictures like shaved around balls for individual meet if was shaved. Individual I guess just a picture collector not meet. Or another started wanted certain angles, when not practical oneself to take picture of. Thus I eventually figure if want to see more to meet up.

To me pictures should be to help decide to meet up or not. Apps and websites are to figure to meet up or not. I do also wonder if some are lazy or just what in not want to travel or host. I noticed this with gaymers or gamers in may not host but can't seem to get away from video games to meet. Now I can understand caution if maybe visit a rough neighborhood or caution to travel at night. However as I figured out that when can host and individual can travel that they either decide to travel or not. In shortly seems if want fucked will go or not.

I have noticed something that if host and then host darkroom or anon that darkroom or anon seemed sometimes increased meeting. However can vary in want to be discreet, to maybe in the closet, to just don't want to see who with.

Last item that I have concerns on if someone uses someone else's pictures to pretend to say be one person when is someone else.  For example if one share a picture of a cock 9 inches long and in real life their cock is 6 inches long and fuck someone that individual may quickly figure out. See better to be honest of size. If one is 6, 8, or 9 inches long or so to say. Seen ad for individual want small cock, while another ad for long cock. I see as cock is cock and different sizes can give pleasure.

I also don't understand why some seem to play games. I recall one saying needing to get ready to bottom and seems 2 hours later still not ready. 

To wrap up not like to chat with someone that only after chatting for awhile learn not drive or host. I try to be upfront on in can host or not, travel ability so not have a half hour feel wasted chatting to learn not work to meet.

[Bwccummer]

As think about another category of individuals on hookup apps and websites are those that not seem to be ironically looking for a hookup. One is I guess looking for a buddy to do nonsexual things or maybe looking for a husband. I don't know but I guess maybe forgot what app or website be used to fuck or get fucked.

If they are looking for a boyfriend or husband I would guess a website or app that be a better fit for what looking for. At least profile are honest in not looking for a hookup.

Another time found a individual profile seemed misleading in maybe give oral or anal. However when went to where host. First was a hot day. Next when get there in ask learned individual not interested in oral. Basically just wanted to cuddle watching guitar youtube videos. It was ok but profile again had me thinking interested in a hookup when just wanted to cuddle.

I ironically not block their profile as see their profile picture and see to avoid and not have a repeat. I think if just want to cuddle to be upfront on. Otherwise see as waste time if allude to hookup when not hookup. I would not meet again for had their chance. 

[Bwccummer]

I had Wednesday tried using a app. A rare time can host. I wasn't able to host long. One seemed interested but needed to take a shower as gotten off work which can understand. However I have figure hear from after 20 or 30 minutes. Instead was 3 hours later. I replied can't host as not know if time hosting nearing over. Besides if feel asleep or something that likely not work.

Share for some if can host have a limited time can host so best to travel as soon as can or they travel and host or get a room or something. 

I again see to point not get excited unless one actually shows up and use time waited to do other things fsuch as sorting,  cleaning, relaxing, etc. or sadly seems some play games in waste others time.

[Guest]

Being on Squirt, BBRT, Grindr has left me with more messages about wanting to fuck, but more often than not, it's just a waste of my time. Hate people who say they want to hookup, but never get past 5 or 6 messages. And on Doublelist, I think most of the ads are fake.