Need some thoughts here...

[mspcummer]

Ok. So I have been with my bf for almost 5 years. Great guy, we get along great in everyway....except sex. We hardly ever have sex, and when we do it is usually 1.5 minutes of mututal jacking. I prefer long sessions and I love cum. I am mostly top, but I do like to get fucked as well. I am currently neg. I have fooled around on my bf a couple of times behind his back. Some 1 on 1 and a couple groups. I have done BB a couple times and love it! I also ate some loads. love that too.

So my dillemma is....How long can I stay in this basicall sexless relationship? DO I give into my growing piggy tendencies? Also I am not quite there yet as to jumping in to the "only BB" world. I have been very torn up about all of this lately. I feel like when I see other barebackers I am a bit jealous and I fee like I have found "my people." Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated....

[colletonguy]

My thoughts are you have a decision to make. If you and your boyfriend don't have sex that makes him vulnerable, then enjoy you piggy side. If you top him BB or do other things that might give him what you get on your piggy exploits, you have to tell him. I say go to the darkside and only have safe sex with him. lol

[sdcigarpig]

Find out what the root problem in and why sex is no longer there, or that spark. For myself, it got old and boring after several years of sex, and then I got sick, or he did, and we just never had the time or energy to actually get into sex. And he loves it when I fuck him raw and cum right up into his ass. But he understands as I do, that sometimes, in every ones relationship, that there is more there than sex. If it is an open relationship, and he is not interested, go out, enjoy, but if he shows jealousy, then look at him and get busy, try fucking him raw, see what gets him going.

[mspcummer]

If.....BIG if we actually have sex it is always safe. It has been a long time since we actually had sex.

[sdcigarpig]

I say, go for the guesto and take a chance, cause if it is something you want then he should be accomidating and at the same time you need to be accomidating for him as well. Sex should be fun and relaxing, nothin wrong with it.

[mspcummer]

Fun, hot piggy sex sounds so good....

[fairlygay]

My thoughts are you have a decision to make. If you and your boyfriend don't have sex that makes him vulnerable, then enjoy you piggy side. If you top him BB or do other things that might give him what you get on your piggy exploits, you have to tell him. I say go to the darkside and only have safe sex with him. lol

As part of a couple that barebacks and other things together I have to agree completely with your comments.

[AlwaysOpen]

If you guys are close in all other things other than sex, you need to sit down and talk HONESTLY with him. Let him know what you want/ need. And if he isn't willing to be the source for it, then you need to find out where he is at with you getting your needs met from guys outside the relationship. If the relationshiip is important to him, he will either give you the sex outlets himself or from others with his blessing. If the relationship has other major cracks, you are about to discover them in a damn fast rush. I don't think I would divulge your past tricking out, but explain your wishes. 5 years is about when the excitement of sex in a partnership gets rusty, and you need to understand it isn't any one mans "fault"- just happens.

I had a 19 yr partnership, and about 12 years of it were sexually dead- but everything else was so great we both hung on. What killed our partnership was when he had a yearlong affair with a guy 5 states away - had he told me of it from the front end I might have dealt with it, but getting blindsided really puts you in a defensive position. And we had an open relationship for the last 10 years so we both knew the other was getting sex, but it was an understanding that it was to be casual and recreational- not emotional. So - get your partner, have a hard , honest talk- and clear/refresh the air with him. He may be just as hungry as you are, and just as frustrated at how to get his sex menu met- maybe even embarrassed at some of what he wants and feels too shy to express them to you. Both of you have to agree to be non judgemental in the talking process

[Guest MightyMouth]

I agree with the posters who say you need to have a talk with your boyfriend. You'll either cheat or live in a sexless relationship and be miserable. Which is worse? Relationships are not all about sex but it can't be denied that it is a huge part of them. What you don't want to happen is to get initiated to "the club" and have to have THAT uncomfortable convesation with him, especially if it turns out you initiate him. It sounds like you care about this guy; have the uncomfortable conversation. Good luck.

[ruralguy7326]

Try someting different, Take him away for a dirty week end, try anything you know he likes doing to re ignite the passion.

Good luck

[hungry_hole]

When it comes to "sexual cheating" what matters to me is health and nothing else. I'm not concerned about rejection or jealousy.

I think of sex as a personal experience that, if I want to, I can share with someone else. When I have anon sex I'm not really sharing sex but simply using other bodies of men to have sex with myself; sort of enhanced masturbation.

I've been in relationships where my guy was very concerned about any disease so I never had sex with anyone else until we talked and decided on what to do.

Sexually open relationships are fine as long as they are negotiated. Another option is not to have sex and seek outside, but again, as long as it’s clearly negotiated. I would never live with another man because of sex. On the contrary, if sex is what I want I prefer to remain single.

[evilqueerpig]

If you're having sex rarely and it's not the type of sex you crave, you have 2 choices, talk it over with your bf or end the relationship...don't stifle your true self

[NiceHard1]

I continue to find many of the responses of so many people on this site to be amazing and valuable. I completely agree with AO and HH on here. Great comments. It can be such a struggle to be both true to yourself and true to your partner at the same time, but it is so important to do both. You owe it to yourself to give yourself what you need, not only in an emotional relationship, but also a sexual one, which may mean getting those two things from different places. But if you want to stay with this man, it is because you care about him, and would be hurting both of you to be lying both about your desires and about what you are doing behind his back. If you start barebacking on a regular basis, and even if you only bottom occasionally, you will likely become poz sooner or later. And then even if you're only having sex with your partner occasionally, you could bring HIV to him at some point. Being open and putting it all out on the table is the only way. If he is not willing to work with you to understand that you have important needs apart from your relationship, then perhaps you might want to change the type of relationship that you have. Its important to have a partner who you can be honest with who knows what you're doing, and you know what he's doing, while you both know that you care about each other and want to be together.

[HolePunchSD]

Have you told him that you're not satisfied sexually? You guys need to first acknowledge [to each other] that there's something lacking in the relationship. Before you can begin to fix it. But atleast give your boyfriend a chance to do something about it before you & he call it quits.

[rawplayboston]

agree with a lot of the posts. Sex dropped off after a couple of years with my boyfriend and we eventually talked about sex and opening it up. we came to an agreement about having sex with other people, and now when we do have sex together we use condoms and believe it or not the sex is better (not because of the condoms, but because we have talked openly about sex between us and we can have sex with other people).