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Posted

ErosWired started a great thread "Do Tops have a right to a bottoms' ass" and it made me think of this.

The short and simple answer is: "of course." 

But it can be confusing as hell to a bottom (which may be the point for some).  i was thinking of a Dom FB i had awhile back who never made me cum, but He worked me to a place where He called my hole a "pussy" and my penis a "clit."  He went through a fairly complex process to get me to a place with Him where i went from finding it kind of distasteful and insulting to loving it and Him when He called it that.  Dom magic lol. Something He did a few times during the process was to take lube (He liked Elbow grease, and that ended up becoming my favorite) and apply it to my penis.  This is a FB i never saw, He always wanted me waiting blindfolded, and that really enhanced things. The few times He did it, He simply touched my penis softly with a hand full of lube without any warning. After He touched it, He said: "I'm going to butter your clit, but don't cum."  He didn't squeeze or touch me hard, just really sort of a tease, more like He just wanted to apply a thick coat of Elbow Grease on me. That was pretty much it. He would kind of tease me saying: "I just want to remind you that you have a clit and that it's just a pretty part of your pussy. I don't want you to cum because of it, even though I know a pussy can get pleasure that way, I only want you to get pleasure from penetration."  And that was it. i could feel the cold wetness of the Elbow Grease, He probably refrigerated it, and at first i'd get hard as a rock with anticipation and desire... but He never did anything but coat it and verbally tease me. The last few times He did it, I didn't get hard at all, and He told me He was proud of me... which embarrassed me and made me actually blush. 

So, what do you think Do you think a Dom has a right to fuck with a bottoms head using his penis?

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Posted

I think you should emphasize that you’re talking about Dom Tops here specifically and not every Top, because this forum is awash with comments from Tops who say that they don’t give any thought to a bottom’s cock. Dom Tops, however, are after something quite different.

My former Master very much made use of my cock in my training. Deep sounding, high intensity electro, needles, edging, and oh, GOD - he had this motherfucking vibrator with a cupped head that ultimately made me tremble in fear every time he turned it on because I knew what was about to happen... and then it did.

The first time he successfully made me cum at his verbal command, he was running electric current through my shaft, and every so often, without warning (I was bound and blindfolded) he would start whipping my cock with a long, narrow sort of stiff switch.

He, at least, absolutely felt that he had the Right to use my cock as he saw fit - but then, he actually held a deed to my body as property, so in that sense I guess his Right had been spelled out on paper and the cock attached to me well and truly did belong to him, along with all my other parts.

I’ve submitted to a lot of Doms over time, and I can’t imagine any Man of that mindset ever thinking that he didn’t naturally have a Right to a sub’s cock.

What he does with it is another question, though - he could edge the sub and then cruelly keep jacking his sensitive rod right after he shoots, or, he might lock the sub’s cock up in a chastity cage and not do another thing with it for a month. Either choice would be an expression of a Dom’s Right to command the use of sub cock, and both are equally effective ways of getting inside the sub’s head to build obedience and mental conditioning in training.

I know exactly how my Master was shaping my mind during my training - we even discussed it - but knowing why he chose to use my cock against me didn’t change the effect of what he did. He knew he had me by the most sensitive, neurologically complex sensory organ I had; he knew how it connected to my brain; and he used that knowledge to completely and permanently shape my self-perception. I think it’s fair to say that if he hadn’t exercised his Right to my cock, I might never have realized I was born to serve men with my ass.

  • Like 1
Posted
9 hours ago, ErosWired said:

I think you should emphasize that you’re talking about Dom Tops here specifically and not every Top, because this forum is awash with comments from Tops who say that they don’t give any thought to a bottom’s cock. Dom Tops, however, are after something quite different.

My former Master very much made use of my cock in my training. Deep sounding, high intensity electro, needles, edging, and oh, GOD - he had this motherfucking vibrator with a cupped head that ultimately made me tremble in fear every time he turned it on because I knew what was about to happen... and then it did.

The first time he successfully made me cum at his verbal command, he was running electric current through my shaft, and every so often, without warning (I was bound and blindfolded) he would start whipping my cock with a long, narrow sort of stiff switch.

He, at least, absolutely felt that he had the Right to use my cock as he saw fit - but then, he actually held a deed to my body as property, so in that sense I guess his Right had been spelled out on paper and the cock attached to me well and truly did belong to him, along with all my other parts.

I’ve submitted to a lot of Doms over time, and I can’t imagine any Man of that mindset ever thinking that he didn’t naturally have a Right to a sub’s cock.

What he does with it is another question, though - he could edge the sub and then cruelly keep jacking his sensitive rod right after he shoots, or, he might lock the sub’s cock up in a chastity cage and not do another thing with it for a month. Either choice would be an expression of a Dom’s Right to command the use of sub cock, and both are equally effective ways of getting inside the sub’s head to build obedience and mental conditioning in training.

I know exactly how my Master was shaping my mind during my training - we even discussed it - but knowing why he chose to use my cock against me didn’t change the effect of what he did. He knew he had me by the most sensitive, neurologically complex sensory organ I had; he knew how it connected to my brain; and he used that knowledge to completely and permanently shape my self-perception. I think it’s fair to say that if he hadn’t exercised his Right to my cock, I might never have realized I was born to serve men with my ass.

Thanks for sharing your experience, and yeah, my intent by using the word "Dom" in the title was to clarify i wasn't speaking of every Top, but appreciate the emphasis that your post adds.  

From what i have read of your posts, you have significantly more experience with D/s than i.  In my life, i have only had three significant connects with Doms. Two of those were not discussed as "D/s" relationships each of us,  one lasted a year and a half, the other one week end. The third was absolutely qualified as D/s, was all online and lasted a month. Those are my relational experiences... i've talked to a lot of people identifying as Dom or sub, but that's the extent of my D/s experience. Those three relationships were hugely significant for me, each marked me permanently, but that's all personal perspective. 

The story i related in my first post was with the longest term FB (a year and a half, weekly get togethers).  He was my first relationship with a Dom and, while we never spoke of D/s relationship, i came to realize that is what it was. At that point, i was new to the D/s  framework and didn't have experience or vocabulary to articulate it, that came retrospectively.  So, i was a naive bottom experiencing a Dom (and retrospectively, a really skilled, mature Dom) for the first time. He was the first to draw on my sub nature, exercise and develop it leaving His signature on me.  Being new and ignorant, a lot of what He did was both alluring and confusing to me, so i wrote that into the experience i was relating. 

In a way, my question is tongue in cheek, and may seem rhetorical to some (many?).  But it really isn't meant to be, i really am hoping it spurs discussion and sharing or all perspectives.  i mention in another thread that i subscribe to the spectrum idea of sexuality. In this case, i'd put Dom at one extreme end of the spectrum and sub at the other.  i see Top and bottom fitting between those, versatile some where in the middle. i don't see the spectrum as one dimensional, but multidimensional, which is to say: "infinitely complex." Consequently, i do not see D/s in black and white terms. 

i'm looking forward to reading perspectives on D/s and my question was intended to spark input about bottom/sub position/s in D/s relationship.  

 

Posted

With regard to a “spectrum” of sexuality, that’s not an idea - that’s science, established by the Kinsey study. And I would agree with you that there is also a spectrum of Dominance and submission, so clearly so that in BDSM practice it’s not uncommon for men to rate the percentage of which they are one or the other. The thing is, I’m not sure those two spectrums are the same spectrum - but perhaps two related spectra on an axis to one another.

My thread about whether Tops have a right to bottoms’ asses clearly derives from my experience as a submissive who has served a numbers of very Dominant men who took my ass as an entitlement. But I’m fully aware that there is a world out there in which normal, well-adjusted guys meet similar guys, and form loving relationships in which their sex is a balance of give-and-take and mutual regard on both sides. I’m a cumdump - by definition an object to be used for ungentle acts. I’m under no illusion that the kind of men I generally encounter are middle-of-the-spectrum guys with their sex lives in balance.

A guy who is unsure or uneasy about where he falls on the masculinity/femininity axis may not have a thought in his head about the Dominance/submission axis, and I can always tell the difference between a Top who breeds me for sexual contact and expression, and a Dom who fucks me for power and control.

It doesn’t amount to that much difference fo me, though - regardless of which axis it is, I’m going to end up getting reamed with it...

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