Top finding out you're poz

[bbtwink95]

So I was talking to this guy on Grindr and the subject of me being undetectable or using condoms came up. We make plans and he shows up, breeds me and leaves. He then asks me a few days later if I’m clean. I tell him I’m undetectable and he freaks out and blocks me. 

 

So then I decide to put undetectable on the status section of Grindr. Guy hits me up. Again condoms or me being poz doesn’t come up. He shows up, breeds me and leaves. A few days later we’re talking in grindr and tells me that he just saw that i have undetectable in grindr and gets pissed off. 

 

What do you guys do in these scenarios?  Just tell them right away that your undetectable? 

Should I of told them before meeting up? 

[Guest rawnch2019]

Completely his fault for not taking the time to read a Grindr profile. Tell him if he asks, but if he doesn't ask that's completely his responsibility and he has no right to get pissy with you. I would freak out at him for a) using the word "clean" to refer to a person's sexual health status and b) freaking out over encountering someone who is undetectable, which in coastal cities is the new negative. 

My stance is that everyone's status is their responsibility. Doesn't matter what it is, or what you want it to be. You should not have to wear your status as some kind of stigmatized badge. If you're negative and want to stay that way, get on PrEP. If you're positive and want to stay healthy, follow your meds and get/stay undetectable. Neither party really has anything to worry about anymore. 

I grew up in Arizona and went to school in Tucson, it's tragic how backward both guys and doctors are there compared to the big cities (LA, NY, Chicago, etc). Always disclose if you are asked. But if they don't make it an issue before sex, they have no right to raise the issue after sex. Any gay man with a stigmatized fear of HIV who is barebacking strangers from Grindr without being on PrEP is a complete and total idiot and asshole. No one needs that in their life. 

Edited March 13, 2019 by rawnch2019

[Guest Upstateguy518]

Shouldn't be fucking raw if you can about status, At least imo. On top of that, It takes seconds to either read a profile or ask about your status if it's a concern.

[Veytoss]

Keep a photo of your recent analysis on hand that shows that you are undetectable, and an official link where it shows that it undetectable = non-transmissible, maybe it just doesn't know what it means

[Pozguyinchi]

Assume everyone is poz. Always

[beanna]

51 minutes ago, Pozguyinchi said:

Assume everyone is poz. Always

I do that's why I only let bare cock in me,but nice to know it is poz before going in or once the cum deep in you the user states that you have just taken a toxic load

[Pozme1981]

17 hours ago, bbtwink95 said:

So I was talking to this guy on Grindr and the subject of me being undetectable or using condoms came up. We make plans and he shows up, breeds me and leaves. He then asks me a few days later if I’m clean. I tell him I’m undetectable and he freaks out and blocks me. 

 

So then I decide to put undetectable on the status section of Grindr. Guy hits me up. Again condoms or me being poz doesn’t come up. He shows up, breeds me and leaves. A few days later we’re talking in grindr and tells me that he just saw that i have undetectable in grindr and gets pissed off. 

 

What do you guys do in these scenarios?  Just tell them right away that your undetectable? 

Should I of told them before meeting up? 

If they pick to do bb with you it’s there risk as some people don’t know if there have any stds 

[bbtwink95]

15 hours ago, Upstateguy518 said:

Shouldn't be fucking raw if you can about status, At least imo. On top of that, It takes seconds to either read a profile or ask about your status if it's a concern.

You’d be surprised how many people don’t read profiles. 

Even if I write ‘Tell me you read this and get $100’ nobody will win the money

Edited March 14, 2019 by bbtwink95
Grammar

[bbtwink95]

9 hours ago, Veytoss said:

Keep a photo of your recent analysis on hand that shows that you are undetectable, and an official link where it shows that it undetectable = non-transmissible, maybe it just doesn't know what it means

I tried to explain. He said that it’s not his responsibility to read profiles and that I should have told him I had HIV. Explained the undetectable part and he says those are all lies and that doctors are wrong and that he knows more, yada yada yada.

[bbtwink95]

2 hours ago, Pozme1981 said:

If they pick to do bb with you it’s there risk as some people don’t know if there have any stds 

He’s blaming me for everything. He’s 10000% a victim here

[Guest BBBoyfromTN]

People are idiots. They don't read profiles, they look at the pic, think the guy is hot, and blaze away texting. You were honest and told them what they needed to know in your ad. Fuck them if they can't/won't/didn't read it. You're also undetectable which means no chance of exposure if you topped or bottomed. You bottomed, which further negates risk aside from STDs. What are they fucking freaking out about?!? If you don't want something then don't bareback! These are the same idiots who get plastered and think they're fine to drive or who text while driving cause they think they're a "good driver". Ignore them...you're not in the wrong. Move on to whatever's next and don't give them a second thought. I don't when I run into the same thing.

[Pozlover1]

I have tats front and back, that I got before “U=U”. It is still best to disclose. This guy was in the wrong but obviously has a screw loose. If you are in the USA and live in a “shall issue” State, get a concealed carry permit, some good training and whatever is left spend on a gun. Nothing wrong with a $200 HiPoint or, my preference, a used revolver. That’s better than a $1500 Kimber and no training. Watch your six, never drop below “code yellow”, keep it close at home. Chances are this knothead will move onto his next crisis soon and forget about you but play it safe. 

[Guest GoneFishing]

On 3/13/2019 at 2:48 PM, bbtwink95 said:

So I was talking to this guy on Grindr and the subject of me being undetectable or using condoms came up. We make plans and he shows up, breeds me and leaves. He then asks me a few days later if I’m clean. I tell him I’m undetectable and he freaks out and blocks me. 

 

So then I decide to put undetectable on the status section of Grindr. Guy hits me up. Again condoms or me being poz doesn’t come up. He shows up, breeds me and leaves. A few days later we’re talking in grindr and tells me that he just saw that i have undetectable in grindr and gets pissed off. 

 

What do you guys do in these scenarios?  Just tell them right away that your undetectable? 

Should I of told them before meeting up? 

I hate “are you clean?”  Yes mofo I showered.  You didn’t do anything wrong. I proudly say in all profiles I’m positive.   Love me or leave me.  Stay the C☣️urse and don’t be ashamed.  You’ll be surprised how much more ass or cock you’ll get with a House In Vegas and detectable hahah

[SmoothATLVers]

22 hours ago, Pozlover1 said:

I have tats front and back, that I got before “U=U”. It is still best to disclose. This guy was in the wrong but obviously has a screw loose. If you are in the USA and live in a “shall issue” State, get a concealed carry permit, some good training and whatever is left spend on a gun. Nothing wrong with a $200 HiPoint or, my preference, a used revolver. That’s better than a $1500 Kimber and no training. Watch your six, never drop below “code yellow”, keep it close at home. Chances are this knothead will move onto his next crisis soon and forget about you but play it safe. 

This guy clearly missed the "Reading Is Fun- damental" campaign. ???

[Pozlover1]

Anybody as upset as the guy he described is capable of anything. That’s where murders of passion come from, shit like this. You need a gun anyway. Like I say get training, both legal and technical. And don’t ever draw on the drop. As in, if someone is holding a gun against your stomach, it is too late to pull yours out. A gun cannot magically give you common sense. 

Edited March 16, 2019 by Pozlover1