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What is the strangest thing you put in your arse


Pleasefuckmyarse2

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hard to top Barbie but here goes, among the usual green groceries mentioned here:

A tree branch on a log while out hunting with family

My finish carpentry hammer handle, think of it every time I use it for work

Billiard balls

water balloons

 

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I'd say it's a tie between a serving spoon with a bulbous handle (sorry mom!) or a miniature baseball bat that I found in the attic when I was looking for autumn yard decorations. Between the two, the bat felt the best but only because it had a textured grip similar to a mag light. When I felt it against the lining of my ass, it was like nothing I'd ever felt in my life.

I've tried to find a dildo with the same textured exterior but haven't had any luck. 

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Before the lockdown I had one dildo which got too small real quick. Stuck an aubergine up there. Small beer bottle, bottom end first. Had 3 marble eggs in there too. Now it’s fists and big toys

Edited by BritFFPig
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A really good (straight) buddy died in January from fast, aggressive cancer, and left me his weed stash. Lots of various pipes and stuff and close to an ounce of weed. His wife also gave me his Fleshlight. I got stoned as fuck and inserted his various glass pipes into my ass while I used his Fleshlight. I don't know why I did it other than the fact he would have thought it fucking hilarious. He was sick in the head and loved his twisted fag buddy. So it was my tribute to him. I miss ya man!

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My father was crazy about Japanese martial arts. He has used to practice karate. And he also loved this kind of stuff, e.g., nunchaku. 

I travelled to Italy with my best friend when we were 17, and we decided to buy some souvenirs. The year before we went there too, so we brought the usual stuffs (book, cooler magnets, etc.) then. So, I wanted some special. And I found that nunchaku (I suppose it wasn’t authentic because it was cheap enough to be able to buy as a student).  My father was happy, he put it on the shelf. 

A year later, when I explored my homosexuality, I looked for something with I can play in my hole. And then I realised that nunchaku on the shelf. Every time my father wasn’t at home, I grabbed it, smeared it with body lotion and fucked my hole. I was fucked with first real cock was when I was 22. So, between my first experience with the nunchaku and my first penetration as a bottom I fucked myself countless times with this Japanese weapon. LoL 

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When i was younger, i saw everything with an eye towards putting it in my ass. As i got older, i was more interested in Men putting things in my ass. i connect what penetrates me to the penetrator now, and i'm not a penetrator... 

But a couple of things that went in when i was a teen, my bicycle pump... and then, of course, i had to pump it. 

in my 20's i worked as a "maintenance superintendent" for a high school. I had a lot of tool sin my office, below is a pic of one of them. The newer ones are not as good. The one i had was heavy, solid metal, 30" long, about 1.5 inch diameter and it had a ball at the end instead of being tapered. i saw it and like Pavlovs dog, went into heat and started salivating. i Put it in a vice and backed my hole onto it, it was a pretty intense fuck for an object.

81EpHdkerZL._AC_SL1500_.thumb.jpg.9275749137364da8a543becd531acda2.jpg

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Nothing that I can think of as imaginative as you clever guys, but there was a time when I could shove my balls up my ass.  I had been vacuum pumping regularly for quite a few years and I had developed some pretty impressive low hangers.  That led to longer and longer ball stretchers until I was able to lube up my balls and shove them up my ass.  Part of the ball stretcher, too.

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When I was younger I had a whole coffee can full of marbles I would insert 1 at a time and leave them for hours, In high school I worked in a gift shop stocking shelves, We had polished stone eggs, While doing inventory I found a full case un accounted for. It took me months to get a full dozen in me.   The most intense thing I have ever had was with a Dom top who use to play with my hole a couple times a week. We were doing some strict bondage and he was sticking all sorts of things in my ass. After a couple hours of playing he wrapped his already large cock with 2 layers of thick rope. He put a couple of magnum condoms over it and fucked me. It was amazing but man I was sore for days after that. 

 

A few other things..

3in dia steel ball bearing

sat on a ball hitch while giving a blow job

3 beer cans

shop vac hose

pool balls

cell phone

 

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I have to admit I’ve only had the basic dildos and metal balls in my cunt. I did hook up with a guy who ended up babbling about how he missed his top and … to make him shut up…I shoved a cucumber in him since I’m a bottom and didn’t realize he was also until I was at his place. Though, a nice piece of thick linked chain always made me want to try it. 

Edited by badjujuboy
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He He, I forgot about the cell phone mentioned earlier, put mine on vibrate in a condom up my arse at work and kept calling it it from my desk phone till i exploded in my pants, no one else the wiser just thinking I was busy calling customers.

Edited by john54476
missed text
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