Considering divorce

[Guest Reeo]

I started my marriage with a lie. I was bisexual and my wife had no clue that I was and still am sexually involved with men. Over the years our sex life has died a slow death. I am utterly repulsed by her vagina. 

I now accept that I am a gay bottom. Men and cock are what i crave. As such, I am taking more random cock, condom covered but random nonetheless. I feel no shame and I am numb to her feelings.

I think it best to leave. Let her find the happiness that i cannot giver. It has been long hard road from denial to finally accepting i am a faggot and have no romantic feelings for women. 

I want to take cock with reckless abandon, raw if i so choose, at anytime i choose! 

 

[ErosWired]

If you love her at all, be kind. If you are any sort of decent person, be kind. My wife and I divorced in as amicable way as we possibly could, and it was still heart-demolishing.

The fact that you are gay, that she can’t meet your sexual needs, that you are cheating on your marriage to get them met (you are), that you can’t stand sex with her - none of these things is her fault. It’s your responsibility to ensure that your marriage doesn’t end with her carrying a burden of guilt for decisions you made, and her life thrown in the blender.

 You want to divorce so you can take cock with reckless abandon? You feel no shame? If that’s your sole motivation, you sound like a poor excuse for a human being. If you’re going to break your vows and divorce, do it first for the reason you stated, to let her find happiness. You may be a faggot, but you can also be a man.

[wood]

I dont know how long you have been married but your wife still deserves respect. PERIOD. 

If you want a divorce, that is perfectly fine, but if sex is the main thing dragging you two apart, you should think what life is like without sex, because it does happen.

Its not easy, but amicable, and respectful separations can happen, and if you simply didn't realize you were gay when you got into the relationship IMO thats the way you should look at the situation.  Also, if there are kids involved, please dont be selfish and think about their future as well.  

IMO you should start with being open with your wife that you may be gay, if thats uncomfortable do it with a therapist.  But if she has been in your life for years, there is probsbly much more to you're relationship than you think.     

[Guest nelly26]

On 9/8/2019 at 10:52 PM, Radar said:

I started my marriage with a lie. I was bisexual and my wife had no clue that I was and still am sexually involved with men. Over the years our sex life has died a slow death. I am utterly repulsed by her vagina. 

I now accept that I am a gay bottom. Men and cock are what i crave. As such, I am taking more random cock, condom covered but random nonetheless. I feel no shame and I am numb to her feelings.

I think it best to leave. Let her find the happiness that i cannot giver. It has been long hard road from denial to finally accepting i am a faggot and have no romantic feelings for women. 

I want to take cock with reckless abandon, raw if i so choose, at anytime i choose! 

 

You're trash. You knew the bolded long before you married her. You were just afraid of what strangers would think of you. 

[renovers82]

You will be much happier without being trapped in your straight marriage.  Guess what...she will be  happier too.  She deserves to be fucked by a straight man that will worship her pussy.  

“I feel no shame and I am numb to her feelings” is a concerning statement.  If you really mean this, you either clearly no longer love her or are suffering from a personality disorder.  Either way, it is time for you to get out. Do the right thing and get out! 

Edited September 19, 2019 by renovers82

[Guest Reeo]

Woah. Did not expect such a negative response. 

I've decided to keep my sexless marriage. She is a good mother and housewife. Our kids are the only reason to stick it out, at least until the youngest eventually goes off to and graduates college. I have another 15yrs to live a lie. 

Her bills are paid, kids clothed and fed, roof over her head. She and I no longer have sex. Some would say it's a good life.

I play safe, get tested regularly. NOT POZ chasing, though I appreciate those who do. Marriage actually helps. I am more selective. Divorce would definitely indulge hedonistic tendencies. Having more to lose than gain keeps me realistic in who i sleep with. My wild exploits shared here are mostly of days gone by. 

Having my cake and eating it too!

Edited September 20, 2019 by Reeo

[NLbear]

Well, what did you expect? You yourself admitted you started your marriage with a lie. Sorry, but staying in your marriage is not fair to your wife. She is trapped in a sexless and loveless marriage while you go off hunting for cock. You reduce her to being a housekeeper and a nanny.

Set her free. She may find someone else to be happy with while she is still young enough. And you will be free to go after your own lifestyle. Wether or not that is hedonistic is up to you. Don't use your wife and marriage to 'protect' yourself from your sexual desires.

Yes, it will be hard for the kids having their parents going through a divorce. But that is better than seeing their parents in a loveless marriage for the next 15 years. Not a good example for them. Be honest with yourself and your family.

 

[ErosWired]

7 hours ago, Radar said:

Her bills are paid, kids clothed and fed, roof over her head. She and I no longer have sex. Some would say it's a good life.

Some would say it’s just existing. 

I read with horror that children are involved. It’s telling that in your first post you didn’t even mention them.

So you’ve decided to keep your sexless marriage, have you? You’ve done all the cold calculus and made a unilateral decision about the lives of your wife and children for the next 15 years? If you are, in fact, a vertebrate with any sort of spine at all, the absolute least you could do is tell her the truth, and let her decide about you. She has a life equal in value to yours.

Do you honestly expect sympathy here for your callous and cavalier attitude toward your family? What kind of men do you think we are? Have your cake and eat it too? You deserve no cake. Begone, reptile, and try to find some warmth in your blood for those closest to you.

[Guest]

Should keep my mouth shut here, but as usual, can't do that with something I do know a lot about !!  There have been some comments here, some trying to be nice and some not so nice, but I can tell you from my experience and the experiences from others that I have known and been involved with indirectly.

You are using the excuse of living the lie because of the kids, etc.  Let me tell you from experience, that does not work, a great many of us here and elsewhere have done just that same scenario and later in years, you will find it was all for nothing and along with a great deal more pain and anguish than would have been if you just get the divorce and get it over with. The costs afterwards are a great deal more and devastating  than if getting the divorce and getting it over with and all concerned just getting a new start and building the new lives.

I used the same excuses back in my days, "its because of the kids, etc", but now after it is all too late, I have learned that it just wasn't worth it and now find my life has pretty much been wasted because of it, as it has with many others in the same scenario's. The reasons are different and as many as you can think of, but the scenario is always the same.  In the long run the kids, etc will suffer more from the total lie and holding out, than just getting the divorce now and allowing them to get over it in their younger years and moving on and growing into it. Just do your part, divorce, support them through school and college and allow them to grow up and grow into the understanding, it will be a lot better than letting them grow up and then find out things and question why in later years. 

I as others have made this great mistake thinking we were doing the right thing, just to find it was one of the biggest mistakes we have ever made !!

[Guest BritBottom]

It’s clear you anticipated a different reaction to both your initial and, I suspect your follow up post.

In both posts the only perspective you appear care about is your own.

Despite the content of the responses, you still seem to have missed the point – it isn’t all about YOU.

[raunchycumslut]

You need to sit down and have an honest discussion with your wife regarding:

1-Your sexual interest in men.

2-Your lack of romantic and sexual interest in her.    

3-Your past cheating on her and your intent to continue cheating on her with multiple partners, probably escalating to  bareback sex at some point.

4-What she wants to do (divorce? stay together as platonic partners? something else?).

5-How whatever you decide will affect your children, and how to do what’s best for them.

Don’t expect her to take it well. Don’t expect your children or your friends or your family to take it well. 

I have sympathy for men who get married, their wife shuts them out sexually, and they have sex outside of their marriage as a result (men have needs, and it’s bullshit for women to claim they love their husband but then expect him to live a life of celibacy). But this, it sounds like you have zero desire for her, just married her as a beard to cover up your homosexuality, and don’t really care about her beyond being a housekeeper. It doesn’t sound like you care much about your kids (feeling responsible for them isn’t the same as loving them). Your wife and your kids are better off if you’re honest about the situation and let them heal and move on, instead of living a lie (which they will see through more and more as time passes). I’m not saying this to attack you, I’m saying it to try to help your wife and kids.

Edited September 26, 2019 by raunchycumslut

[Guest FinalDL2021]

On 9/9/2019 at 6:04 PM, ErosWired said:

If you love her at all, be kind. If you are any sort of decent person, be kind. My wife and I divorced in as amicable way as we possibly could, and it was still heart-demolishing.

The fact that you are gay, that she can’t meet your sexual needs, that you are cheating on your marriage to get them met (you are), that you can’t stand sex with her - none of these things is her fault. It’s your responsibility to ensure that your marriage doesn’t end with her carrying a burden of guilt for decisions you made, and her life thrown in the blender.

 You want to divorce so you can take cock with reckless abandon? You feel no shame? If that’s your sole motivation, you sound like a poor excuse for a human being. If you’re going to break your vows and divorce, do it first for the reason you stated, to let her find happiness. You may be a faggot, but you can also be a man.

Very good advice. My marriage ended, for other reasons, my wanting to have the freedom to have a gay lifestyle, was sort of waiting in the wings. heart-demolishing, is a very good word. I find that a few months after I have moved back to California, I am starting to actually miss my ex-wife, and what we had when things where good.

[Guest Reeo]

In news all about me!!!

I have a new lover 😈 Sucking his dick at least twice a week on my way home from work. He never fails to deposit a creamy load or two.  He doesn't fuck, but promises to introduce his nephew to my fuckhole 🤞🏾🤞🏾

Still haven't decided if i want to leave my wife. My routine is very gratifying, the kids have stability and my wife takes care of us and the home. 

I sleep very well. 

Edited October 8, 2019 by Reeo

[BBButtSlut]

Dude, get a divorce. Your kids are going to pickup that their parents are in an unhappy marriage and that’s setting them up to make the same mistakes in their own relationships because they think that’s normal. Seriously, a divorce will be rough for them but staying with your wife and lying to them for 15 years will mess them them up much more.

[ejaculaTe]

From the woman’s point of view:

[think before following links] https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/nov/03/did-i-ever-really-know-him-the-women-who-married-gay-men