Have You Been Raped as a Child and Became Attracted to Men like your Rapist?

[Guest]

1 hour ago, Bimarried001 said:

Speaking from experience. 
I was raped by my uncle for about 4 years starting at 8. I did not enjoy it at first, it was very painful. 
But as an adult I look back at the experience with pleasure. The memory now stimulates me. 
The only thing I missed in these discussions (I have not read every post) is did anyone that was raped as a child return the favor as an adult. 
That’s all I’ll say here. 

I would appreciate it if people didn't keep the story alive, that victims have a higher change to become perpetrators themselves. 

It's hard enough to open up about this stuff.

And research doesn't show there is a correlation.

[Guest]

22 minutes ago, ErosWired said:

The reason you aren’t seeing that discussed here is likely that anyone replying in the affirmative would be admitting to a criminal sexual act against a minor. That shit doesn’t need to be glorified here under the apologetic that someone found it pleasurable. Relating your experience is one thing, but when you start fishing for accounts of men sexually assaulting children as “returning a favor” that skates very close to a prohibited line here.

not calling it a 'favor' would have been nice too.  the bastard.

[Bimarried001]

58 minutes ago, ErosWired said:

The reason you aren’t seeing that discussed here is likely that anyone replying in the affirmative would be admitting to a criminal sexual act against a minor. That shit doesn’t need to be glorified here under the apologetic that someone found it pleasurable. Relating your experience is one thing, but when you start fishing for accounts of men sexually assaulting children as “returning a favor” that skates very close to a prohibited line here.

“Return the favor” is just a figure of speech. It doesn’t mean that the raper was doing a favor. Just to clarify that. 
I do not know what the statistics show regarding rape victim themselves becoming the raper and yes it does make sense that they would not openly discuss if they did, hence we cannot rely on statistics. 
But to reiterate, from my perspective (and my perspective only) the experience became a pleasurable memory as I grew older. I always meant to confront my uncle but never and he died years ago. 

[Guest]

8 minutes ago, Bimarried001 said:

“Return the favor” is just a figure of speech. It doesn’t mean that the raper was doing a favor. Just to clarify that. 
I do not know what the statistics show regarding rape victim themselves becoming the raper and yes it does make sense that they would not openly discuss if they did, hence we cannot rely on statistics. 
But to reiterate, from my perspective (and my perspective only) the experience became a pleasurable memory as I grew older. I always meant to confront my uncle but never and he died years ago. 

the questionnaire that started this thread isn't complete either tbh.

where's the box you tick, where you've healed after having been molested or raped, but never have liked it?
or a box where although it shouldn't have happened there where no lasting negative effects?

Be careful with 'figures of speech', they sometimes keep outdated and harmful ideas very much alive. 

[Guest]

[think before following links] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_of_males

it's just wikipedia but seems to give somewhat reliable insights. 

[Bimarried001]

9 minutes ago, BareLover666 said:

the questionnaire that started this thread isn't complete either tbh.

where's the box you tick, where you've healed after having been molested or raped, but never have liked it?
or a box where although it shouldn't have happened there where no lasting negative effects?

Be careful with 'figures of speech', they sometimes keep outdated and harmful ideas very much alive. 

Agreed and noted. 
Figure of speech. “A bully punched me in the face and I returned the favor”. 
Btw, there are several other post here on BZ where guys are glowing recounting having sex (with dad, uncle, older brother) at early ages. 

[ErosWired]

1 hour ago, Bimarried001 said:

Btw, there are several other post here on BZ where guys are glowing recounting having sex (with dad, uncle, older brother) at early ages. 

There are, and it’s legitimate for members to relate true accounts of their own childhood experience, just as you have done, even if they now look consider those assaults as a positive influence on their lives. What the site management has expressly disallowed, however, is relating those accounts in ways that glorify child sexual assault or otherwise cater to a pedophilic interest. We’re not wild about encouraging actual rape at any age, in fact.

I would add that the fact that you find the memory of it stimulating is not a negative reflection on you - each person copes with trauma in an individual way. Some do so negatively, some positively. The key either way is not to let the coping strategy perpetuate the causes of the original trauma.

Edited September 11, 2022 by ErosWired

[ErosWired]

7 hours ago, BareLover666 said:

Thank you for coming out of this closet here and help in this way to break the silence. 💙 

I should hasten to make clear, given that this thread is asking for accounts of having been raped as a child, that what I mentioned above happened to me not in childhood, but as an adult. I was just responding specifically to your comment about how our bodies can behave contrary to the way we’re feeling in such situations. I’ve actually spoken of that adverse encounter in greater depth elsewhere in the forum.

Edited September 11, 2022 by ErosWired

[Guest]

2 hours ago, Bimarried001 said:

Btw, there are several other post here on BZ where guys are glowing recounting having sex (with dad, uncle, older brother) at early ages. 

Yes.

You have the misfortune that I don't read these threads but sometimes - as I don't hide from it like I don't hide from my past - I do read one (like this thread) and openly discuss my points of view. There's only one of me alas. 

[Guest]

58 minutes ago, ErosWired said:

I should hasten to make clear, given that this thread is asking for accounts of having been raped as a child, that what I mentioned above happened to me not in childhood, but as an adult. I was just responding specifically to your comment about how our bodies can behave contrary to the way we’re feeling in such situations. I’ve actually spoken of that adverse encounter in greater depth elsewhere in the forum.

Still takes guts my friend.

you pat me on the back now. 😉 

💙

[ErosWired]

8 minutes ago, BareLover666 said:

Still takes guts my friend.

you pat me on the back now. 😉 

💙

The only reason I didn’t say anything was that I didn’t feel qualified. I had zero encounters of a sexual nature as a child, for which I am very grateful, because I had absolutely no way of coping with such a thing, or even comprehending it back then, and that state of innocence followed me well into high school.

I thought about your experience, as one between children, albeit with one child clearly with a higher degree of body awareness and possibly sexual curiosity than the other. The fact that it may not carry the stain it might have had it been an adult acting on a corrupting prurient interest doesn’t change the transformative effect it had on you. You’ll always be left with unanswerable questions about what your life would have been like had not that boy forced your eyes open to a world you hadn’t perceived, and might not have been fully prepared to perceive. I can, and often do, wonder about what trajectory my life would have taken if some other make had burst my protective bubble and made me a sexual being early, but because it didn’t happen I don’t have to think about it. It did happen to you, and that memory lingers with you; you can only imagine what it would have been like if it hadn’t.

[Guest]

3 minutes ago, ErosWired said:

The only reason I didn’t say anything was that I didn’t feel qualified. I had zero encounters of a sexual nature as a child, for which I am very grateful, because I had absolutely no way of coping with such a thing, or even comprehending it back then, and that state of innocence followed me well into high school.

I thought about your experience, as one between children, albeit with one child clearly with a higher degree of body awareness and possibly sexual curiosity than the other. The fact that it may not carry the stain it might have had it been an adult acting on a corrupting prurient interest doesn’t change the transformative effect it had on you. You’ll always be left with unanswerable questions about what your life would have been like had not that boy forced your eyes open to a world you hadn’t perceived, and might not have been fully prepared to perceive. I can, and often do, wonder about what trajectory my life would have taken if some other make had burst my protective bubble and made me a sexual being early, but because it didn’t happen I don’t have to think about it. It did happen to you, and that memory lingers with you; you can only imagine what it would have been like if it hadn’t.

That last part is very true and if it comes to how stuff effected me, I can only speak truthfully about myself.

But I - and perhaps more people who where molested, abused or raped, and whatever their age when it happened - would very, very much appreciate it if people say: "This is wrong what the other person did to you".
They may even add 'allegedly' or doubt if my story is true. I'm at a point in my life I don't doubt myself so the belief of someone else in me has become virtually immaterial. Farther than what the law says, or whatever consequences it has for the one who trespasses against someone else, this would feel as support though, at least to me.

Because that would mean people at least would wish these things never to happen to anyone else. I'm grounded enough to know that this is a fiction because bad people will always be there and we can't always protect one another from harm. But it's perhaps actually true that it's the thought that counts.

What happened to me, was not about me. It just happened to me, which is a big difference. That's another reason why I'd like people to say: "this is bad, what people do" so we can think and study those sick people to figure out what the Fuck is wrong with Them. 

 

Speaking only for myself I think that - being a child and therefor didn't comprehending what was happening - and perhaps because I fought, defended myself and stopped the act before penetration was achieved (or at least I think I had an erection; my memory is not detailed enough to know for sure) I actually didn't feel 'hurt' by the experience at the time.

Not speaking out though and growing up realising the violent act was sexual in nature - for the perpetrator although not for me - it did cause shame, and fearing some kinds of people but also my own male lust. Something I've learned to trust, embrace and enjoy later in life.
But depressions and other self-destructive patterns did emerge which, like I said probably due to the silence, shame and feelings of guilt, did hinder a more fun adolescence. And I probably tried to act like it didn't happen for too long.

I would like to mention that the age difference was about 6 years, I was technically a minor. I do not remember if she had turned 18 yet. She was in a position of authority as she as an older sibling was supposed to watch over me at the day it happened. 

 

Perhaps my Don Quichot-like tendencies to pick fights I can't win but very much like to stems for the experience. (For the cases here on BZ when I crossed the lines of respect doing so, I think I've now apologied to everyone concerned).

And there's a lot, REALLY a lot of sexual stuff that other people consider [banned word] or indecent which I can't be bothered to have any stance on, besides either being sexually aroused myself or mildly to hilariously amused. Cheating on of those things that I really feel like: Good for them. Only feelings or trust gets hurt and the latter, they do to themselves. And who doesn't enjoy promiscuous sex?

People in pain, crying or otherwise not being happy are a downer though. Even when roleplaying I'd have to absolutely sure someone's acting or my erection becomes lame for several hours.

So no, I have no idea if I'm any different I am from who I would have been if it hadn't happened.

But I've never, ever regretted or doubted falling in love with any of the men I did.
(A very small of me probably still is and always will be and my idea of heaven is cuddling them all it once if I'm wrong and there is a hereafter; In which please remind me to kick the all-mighty deity in church in the nuts for not protecting innocent children, and not doing his freakin' job). 

 

As you didn't pat me on the back and none of you other perverts here even offered me a hug I suggest we now continue talking about fun and hard bareback fucking. 

[DLMarried]

I have chatted with privately with a couple of guys on here and on another chat site where guys feel comfortable, and they mentioned that are into to young boys because of what happened to them. 
None mentioned that they did it but they all said they have desires to do it. 

[Guest]

12 minutes ago, DLMarried said:

None mentioned that they did it but they all said they have desires to do it. 

Now that is handy for both themselves and yourself as otherwise they would have incriminated themselves and yourself for not reporting them. (s)

 

13 minutes ago, DLMarried said:

I have chatted with privately with a couple of guys on here and on another chat site where guys feel comfortable, and they mentioned that are into to young boys because of what happened to them. 

Have you talked with guys who weren't into young boys as well, but who did have similar experiences?

Anecdotes about a couple of guys, like your are offering now, are hard / impossible to verify; 
They keep a myth alive that has hold me back from coming out about my personal experience for years.

I'd like to know what you want to say as to your conclusions or thoughts by repeating the stories you've been told.
Gossip is never helpful. 

[ErosWired]

@BareLover666 - You definitely get your pat on the back from me now - the additional information you provided puts your experience in quite a different light. I had been under the impression that it was a male of roughly the same age. The age and gender difference removes all question of motive. This wasn’t innocent curiosity, even if she hadn’t yet turned 18. This was aware, and intentional, and consciously leading you toward a very specific goal. I’m sorry that happened to you, doubly sorry that it was a sibling.