misnomers

[tallslenderguy]

Thought it might be fun to start a thread about misnomers in the gay community or on hook up sites.  Here's a few that strike me as wishful thinking to start with.

"SAFE ONLY:"   i guess this is code for: " i want to have sex and not get an STD."  It surprises me how much ignorance there is about STD's still (even with Google?).  Seems to me, life isn't safe and sex is a part of life. 

"PNP:"  i guess this one can mean different things to different people, but i think of meth.  This was what inspired me to start this thread. i was at a restaurant the other day and as i parked my car i noticed a guy sort of twirling down the street flailing his hands and saying things to no one in particular.  i couldn't tell if he was schizophrenic or tweaking?  He was in his own little world, seemed oblivious to anyone else and i thought: "tweakers are only 'fun' from a minimum of 100 feet away." 

 

[Starwood]

2 that make me shake my head when read on a profile.

"Checked and Tested (Some date more than a year ago), all clear" I get that the guy has wondered into a Sexual Health clinic, but if it was over about 6 months ago, I would suggest trotting off back there. Also, with the exception of this site, would you honestly put "Checked, tested and riddled with Gonno"?

"Time wasters Do not contact me"... Well that going to stop all the catfish's out there .

[ErosWired]

A little vein starts to pulse at the side of my head every time I get “Are you clean?”

Does he mean:

1. Have I showered?

2. Have I cleaned out my colon?

3. Am I free of STDs?

4. Am I free of HIV?

The whole question sort of chaps my ass, because the implication is that this guy is asking whether I’m too “dirty” for him to shove his penis into my anus and leave his bodily fluid inside me. I’m not sure the right person is asking the question...

[bredbiyou]

This reminds me of a time in my late teens when I was getting tested at a sexual health drop-in clinic. During the visit, the nurse asked if I had any questions about sexual health. The clinic always advertised their services to the queer community, so I figured they'd have heard it all. I asked her if there was any STD risk associated with water sports.

She gave me this puzzled look. "You mean, like, water polo? Diving?"

I kept waiting for her to break into a playful laugh, but she really had no idea what I was asking about.

"No... you can't catch an STD just from swimming in the same pool. I think it's pretty safe."

At that point I was too embarrassed to correct the misunderstanding, so I just said, "okay, thanks". LOL

[ErosWired]

1 minute ago, bredbiyou said:

This reminds me of a time in my late teens when I was getting tested at a sexual health drop-in clinic. During the visit, the nurse asked if I had any questions about sexual health. The clinic always advertised their services to the queer community, so I figured they'd have heard it all. I asked her if there was any STD risk associated with water sports.

She gave me this puzzled look. "You mean, like, water polo? Diving?"

I kept waiting for her to break into a playful laugh, but she really had no idea what I was asking about.

"No... you can't catch an STD just from swimming in the same pool. I think it's pretty safe."

At that point I was too embarrassed to correct the misunderstanding, so I just said, "okay, thanks". LOL

*sigh*

I think anyone who decides that he or she has a calling to work in a sexual health clinic should be required to study the online Urban Dictionary.

[NLbear]

3 hours ago, ErosWired said:

A little vein starts to pulse at the side of my head every time I get “Are you clean?”

Does he mean:

1. Have I showered?

2. Have I cleaned out my colon?

3. Am I free of STDs?

4. Am I free of HIV?

The whole question sort of chaps my ass, because the implication is that this guy is asking whether I’m too “dirty” for him to shove his penis into my anus and leave his bodily fluid inside me. I’m not sure the right person is asking the question...

I can relate to that. I also ask what is meant. However, on the other side, nobody seems to mind when a poz top asks his bottom if he wants his "dirty load"......From what I read here most seems to find that hot. How's that for "clean" vs. "dirty"?

[tallslenderguy]

11 hours ago, NLbear said:

I can relate to that. I also ask what is meant. However, on the other side, nobody seems to mind when a poz top asks his bottom if he wants his "dirty load"......From what I read here most seems to find that hot. How's that for "clean" vs. "dirty"?

Ha! That's a funny point.  Though, the BZ population might not qualify as a typical sampling of gay guys, i think (hope) the chasers who would find that hot are a minority and not "most"  here. i think the point is valid and apart of a thread that runs through a lot of the D/s part of the community that if 'it' comes from a Dom or Top it's gotta be good lol.  

On the other hand,  i think the freedom to express our individual predilections,that may run contrary to 'the norm', is a boon because they question the status quo.  There are so many things that are accepted  as normal (and any departure as abnormal).  i think it's healthy to encounter something that makes us step outside, or at least question our ethnocentricity's. 

[tallslenderguy]

13 hours ago, bredbiyou said:

This reminds me of a time in my late teens when I was getting tested at a sexual health drop-in clinic. During the visit, the nurse asked if I had any questions about sexual health. The clinic always advertised their services to the queer community, so I figured they'd have heard it all. I asked her if there was any STD risk associated with water sports.

She gave me this puzzled look. "You mean, like, water polo? Diving?"

I kept waiting for her to break into a playful laugh, but she really had no idea what I was asking about.

"No... you can't catch an STD just from swimming in the same pool. I think it's pretty safe."

At that point I was too embarrassed to correct the misunderstanding, so I just said, "okay, thanks". LOL

That's funny!  Just when you thought you were part of the mainstream, someone reminds you you're not lol. Honestly, i have to explain "WS" to guys on hook up sites frequently enough to remind me it's still a 'sport' that hasn't caught on with the general gay population.  In their defense "water sports" is a pretty tongue in cheek descriptor. 

[tallslenderguy]

16 hours ago, Starwood said:

2 that make me shake my head when read on a profile.

"Checked and Tested (Some date more than a year ago), all clear" I get that the guy has wondered into a Sexual Health clinic, but if it was over about 6 months ago, I would suggest trotting off back there. Also, with the exception of this site, would you honestly put "Checked, tested and riddled with Gonno"?

"Time wasters Do not contact me"... Well that going to stop all the catfish's out there .

Lmao. Yeah, i've run into those more than a few times.  

Re the STD/HIV test, i like to hope a lot of guys just don't update their profiles?  That or there's a certain part of the hook up app population who live a generally chaste life and only come out to play annually, so that test last year is still valid (rolls eyes). 

And oy, the time wasters plea.  If only it were as simple as that? i sometimes feel there are more catfishes's than real guys trying to actually  hook up. 

[Guest POZitiveBoyZ]

20 minutes ago, tallslenderguy said:

Ha! That's a funny point.  Though, the BZ population might not qualify as a typical sampling of gay guys, i think (hope) the chasers who would find that hot are a minority and not "most"  here. i think the point is valid and apart of a thread that runs through a lot of the D/s part of the community that if 'it' comes from a Dom or Top it's gotta be good lol.  

On the other hand,  i think the freedom to express our individual predilections,that may run contrary to 'the norm', is a boon because they question the status quo.  There are so many things that are accepted  as normal (and any departure as abnormal).  i think it's healthy to encounter something that makes us step outside, or at least question our ethnocentricity's. 

Ha. Into the point! Bottom’s shaming? Fuck it! Slut shaming? Fuck it! POZ shaming? Fuck this all! There’s 2019! And I can’t imagine how many guys still in the stereotypical mood … So, where is this things “be open mind”? 

[tallslenderguy]

Here's another one... and i'll pre qualify, i say this a little tongue in cheek:

"Versatile:"   anyone else feel that "versatile" is just the new word for bottom lol?  I know there are real and genuine versatile guys out there (carry on).  i have even encountered several profiles where versatile guys are even a little defensive insisting that they are "real versatile" or "total versatile"  (totally both ways?), which makes me think they too have found their word has been usurped by bottoms who, for whatever reason, don't want to identify as such. 

[ErosWired]

1 hour ago, tallslenderguy said:

Here's another one... and i'll pre qualify, i say this a little tongue in cheek:

"Versatile:"   anyone else feel that "versatile" is just the new word for bottom lol?  I know there are real and genuine versatile guys out there (carry on).  i have even encountered several profiles where versatile guys are even a little defensive insisting that they are "real versatile" or "total versatile"  (totally both ways?), which makes me think they too have found their word has been usurped by bottoms who, for whatever reason, don't want to identify as such. 

I’m not sure I understand what’s wrong with that. To me, it sounds like a move toward simplification of the taxonomy. There aren’t actually that many of us absolutely-never-for-fucks-sake-Top-total-bottoms, so as far as I’m concerned having the bottoms who will even occasionally Top switch to considering themselves versatile - which in fact, they are - would be all to the good. The only difference between Vers Top, versatile, and vers bottom is a question of degree, and why should a man who is not on one of the dedicated ends have to limit himself? It would be such a pleasure to be able to say I’m a bottom and know that no man would ever expect me to Top him, ever.

Edited November 12, 2019 by ErosWired

[tallslenderguy]

13 minutes ago, ErosWired said:

I’m not sure I understand what’s wrong with that. To me, it sounds like a move toward simplification of the taxonomy. There aren’t actually that many of us absolutely-never-for-fucks-sake-Top-total-bottoms, so as far as I’m concerned having the bottoms who will even occasionally Top switch to considering themselves versatile - which in fact, they are - would be all to the good. The only difference between Vers Top, versatile, and vers bottom is a question of degree, and why should a man who is not on one of the dedicated ends have to limit himself? It would be such a pleasure to be able to say I’m a bottom and know that no man would ever expect me to Top him, ever.

You are, of course, right.

 i personally appreciate the modifiers "versatile top" or "versatile bottom," and find them helpful.  And yeah, i don't get to (or want to) dictate how a guy presents himself.  It's just my experience has sort of conditioned me against the term because i seem to usually (like 90% of the time) run into versatile guys who only want to get fucked.  

Honestly, i've even gotten to the place where i'm wary of guys who identify as top versatile.  But is suspect i'm maybe one of the minority you note, and for me it's more of a emotional/mental disposition than physical.  my own personal wiring needs/desires someone as obsessed with penetrating and putting Himself (not just His body) inside of another guy as i am obsessed with receiving Him.  So, when i sense that is missing or variable, it doesn't awaken the receiver in me.  But that doesn't mean to me there's anything wrong with being that way, those guys just don't effect me the same way.  I generally end up loving them, but platonically. 

[funpozbottom]

On 11/11/2019 at 11:57 AM, tallslenderguy said:

Thought it might be fun to start a thread about misnomers in the gay community or on hook up sites.

"MILD TO WILD":  I can't count the number of times I've seen someone's profile say: ... "into everything Mild to Wild"  ...  followed by a long list of everything they aren't into.

"DIRTY":  Another overused term -- frequently used by people who think being dirty is getting naked with the lights on.

[tallslenderguy]

1 hour ago, funpozbottom said:

 

"DIRTY":  Another overused term -- frequently used by people who think being dirty is getting naked with the lights on.

lmao