Relationship vs just sex

[Guest takingdeepanal]

Just now, S6AT6A6N said:

If I was in a relationship, and my boy came home opened up, and full of cum, well, more fun to be had! 🐽

 

Only from other vetted tops, or anyone at all?

[ScorpionFF]

6 minutes ago, tallslenderguy said:

Well, yeah, but they aren't mutually exclusive. They're pretty awesome when they mix or overlap.  i'm a bottom who loves a Top who also is into mind fuck. Every now and then our paths will cross in hook up sex and we are both feeling it deeply. He reads me and knows His power over me, and loves the opportunity to exercise Who He is. Breeding me deep, and then knowingly kissing my neck or whispering something that collars me into my ear, my back arches involunarily sending Him deeper into me while i bite my mattress to keep from declaring my love for Him.  hehe, it happens, and it's sweet.

hehe, the last part to your comment made me smile and give a warm chuckle. Sweet indeed! 😊 And damn hot too.

Of course they are not mutually exclusive. They can be exclusive, depending on the situation and timing, but also as you say, also mix/overlap.

Thank you for starting this topic. I genuinely find topics like this fascinating, being a man who is interested in human behaviour, and how the mind works from man to man. 

[ScorpionFF]

10 minutes ago, takingdeepanal said:

Only from other vetted tops, or anyone at all?

I do believe the younger me would have required a 'vetting' procedure. The older me;

'Anyone'.

For me now that makes it even more hotter still - Anonymous Load(s) 

[tallslenderguy]

17 minutes ago, S6AT6A6N said:

hehe, the last part to your comment made me smile and give a warm chuckle. Sweet indeed! 😊 And damn hot too.

Of course they are not mutually exclusive. They can be exclusive, depending on the situation and timing, but also as you say, also mix/overlap.

Thank you for starting this topic. I genuinely find topics like this fascinating, being a man who is interested in human behaviour, and how the mind works from man to man. 

i know, eh?  So many want to invalidate our experiences because they don't conform to the heteronormative standards of how things are or should be. 

i think a lot of ltr's die because of failed and unrealistic expectations.  i love the idea of a ltr, i think even a sort of monogamy can have benefits as long as it is happening in natural paremeters and is a result of mutual desire, not a forced conformity to a rule. For instance, a Top who cages His bottom and a bottom who loves Him for that.  

There are innumerable variations on realational experiences. Being in a ltr provides an opportunity to get to know a person better, to delve deeper than one might in a quickie hook up... though i've had some pretty profound hook ups. i think a lot depends on how well a person knows their self and how practiced they are at being open and vulnerable. 

i too love human behaviour and how the mind works. To me, collaring/being collared is hot... physically and psychologically collaring and being collared is even hotter from their respective perspectives/natures and connections.

[ScorpionFF]

Thank you to others who have so far commented on this thread. A real joy and pleasure to read what others have to say in regards to their thoughts, opinions, needs, experiences.

Some of my long term stored memories have thus come flooding to the forefront of my mind, and am reminded of some of my own experiences. 'Maybe' when we are younger we are less able to be honest with others and ourselves. I say maybe as that chestnut is certainly something that can be discussed.

One of my own experiences that springs to mind is being in a monogamous relationship with this man who I had discovered was having sex elsewhere. He did not know at this point I knew. I approached him about us going into an open relationship, and he was adamant that we remain monogamous. But, you are having sex with others. 🤔 Eventually he told me he had sex elsewhere but only with one partner. I happened to know there were multiple partners. 

Maybe we 'try' to be monogamous to fit in with what we are taught is the norm. What is bloody normal anyway. We're far too complex of a species for that nonsense. Complex, yet also simple.

I am sure age plays a pivotal role, as I know the older I get the more honest I have become with others, and more importantly myself. Although, the man I described above was a little older than I, so other factors surely have their part to play as well;

Upbringing and Genetics are the first elements that I can think of that spring to mind.

I think we have the capability to be monogamous emotionally, but sexually, no, I just don't think it can be done. And even if it can be, it certainly is not for me anymore. No way!

Edited December 23, 2019 by S6AT6A6N
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[tallslenderguy]

17 minutes ago, S6AT6A6N said:

Thank you to others who have so far commented on this thread. A real joy and pleasure to read what others have to say in regards to their thoughts, opinions, needs, experiences.

 

I think we have the capability to be monogamous emotionally, but sexually, no, I just don't think it can be done. And even if it can be, it certainly is not for me anymore. No way!

i too am grateful for the contributors on this site and thread. Some wonderful discussions.

i too wonder about monogamy.  i fantasize about a variation of it , i guess. Having a relationship with a Top who i cede control of my sex too, a caged penis to make and keep me horny, and Him controlling who breeds me. Even if that means He want's me to be fucked by anyone and everyone,  for me psychologically i associate that with Him fucking and breeding me. He has me lie on the bed and pimps my pussy out to whomever He pleases while He watches, and i am watching and listening to His lust the whole time and taking those cocks and loads as His. i know, not traditional at all, but to me it can be enormously intimate with Him, and i have experienced a reciprocal feeling from a Top having that kind of control given to Him. There are so many amazing possibilities with relationship.

[Guest takingdeepanal]

26 minutes ago, S6AT6A6N said:

Thank you to others who have so far commented on this thread. A real joy and pleasure to read what others have to say in regards to their thoughts, opinions, needs, experiences.

We're far too complex of a species for that nonsense. Complex, yet also simple.

I am sure age plays a pivotal role, as I know the older I get the more honest I have become with others, and more importantly myself. Although, the man I described above was a little older than I, so other factors surely have their part to play as well;

I think we have the capability to be monogamous emotionally, but sexually, no, I just don't think it can be done. And even if it can be, it certainly is not for me anymore. No way!

Agreed. I have no LTRs that have lasted more than 2 years (honesty gets in the way of a lot of things, and does so more and more these days!).

Definitely emotionally monogamous, but humans aren't biologically/naturally engineered to be sexually monogamous - neither in a hetero or gay way (unless you cage a bottom's cock - and anyway, a bottom should be refused permission to pleasure himself).

Edited December 23, 2019 by takingdeepanal

[bottombunny]

I would love to be in a relationship - someone to share a home with, go shopping with, go on holiday with - and have sex with.  I am bottom, so ideally the guy in the relationship would fuck me, but also let me be fucked by others, or get others to fuck me (while he watches of course) - any tops in the UK want this kind of relationship?

[bottombunny]

10 hours ago, S6AT6A6N said:

I do believe the younger me would have required a 'vetting' procedure. The older me;

'Anyone'.

For me now that makes it even more hotter still - Anonymous Load(s) 

I would love to be your bottom, and have you get other tops to fuck me ...

[Guest]

I wasn't looking for a relationship, but I found one while I was cruising for just sex.  I guess you just know when it's right to go after something more than just sex.  Now I have the best of both worlds. 🙂  

[Guest POZitiveBoyZ]

I definitely doesn’t need being in any friendships or relationships anymore anytime anyway. I lost my beliefs on people. I lost my beliefs on guys and mans. And I’m absolutely not wanna being associated with this fucking pathetic and jealous lgbt community with a lot of liars and hypocrites, with a huge numbers of haters and envy! And I guess this would be a really better if I was just a straight Musc guy with an average or bigger cock. Because you don’t wanna live life anymore when you can realize that your life is about being alone every single day because you looks different and not attractive to anyone. Because gay guys doesn’t love fem guys and don’t like guys with a small cock. Because everyone and everything it is about porn standards and Musc Fitness culture on the pedestal of the gay community. And after that, someone who you thought was your friend and lover, who you thought was be ready to be your husband, who told me too many beautiful words, just found himself in the different way like an average pathetic faggot and a liar. I found everything what he did with every single fucking fags to bully and harassed me. He betrayed me. As an every fucking jealous pathetic American faggot! 

[ScorpionFF]

20 hours ago, tallslenderguy said:

Having a relationship with a Top who i cede control of my sex too, a caged penis to make and keep me horny, and Him controlling who breeds me. Even if that means He want's me to be fucked by anyone and everyone,  for me psychologically i associate that with Him fucking and breeding me.

What I would exactly now need in a relationship. My boy to be caged would be absolutely essential also. I very much like your psychological association that you describe. Perfect.

[Guest takingdeepanal]

Just now, S6AT6A6N said:

What I would exactly now need in a relationship. My boy to be caged would be absolutely essential also. I very much like your psychological association that you describe. Perfect.

As I prefer to keep my dick and balls intact, but to never get any pleasure out of them, I'd love you to cage me.

[twstdpigboy]

I am not a believer in the social construct of monogamy so I chose other. Monogamy does not work and most of the science stands behind that assertion. I think having one person to create a life with is a great ideal to work toward but I certainly don't think that imposing restrictions on a relationship that are impossible to meet is fair to either partner and dooms the relationship to failure.

Having a frank one open discussion around the issue of sex outside of the relationship is not only wise but required. I don't expect the person I want to create a life with to be the one and only solution to every aspect in my life - best friend, confident, emotional rock and throw in perfect in everyway sexually?! No one can be that and it's unfair to ask for it and to expect it. We're all grown-ups and we expect to to be treated as one as well. Do I want to build a life with someone who life goals and values are a fit for mine? Yes, of course and to determine if that is even possible to achieve we need to have open and honest dialogues about everything; free of judgement and shame and ridicule.  Why shouldn't we approach sex differently. Spellk it all out, diagram it out, make lists of everything then establish the rules and expectations around what is and is not permissibly and the consequences of violation of the rules - EVERYTHING. it's dry and boring and frustrating and can be shocking but it's also a great way to find out what truly turns your partner on and what doesn't turn you on as well. it's hard and potentially embarrassing and it relies on placing trust in the other person so there's incentive to hold back but it makes the issue of having to hide infidelity go away and makes for great conversations at coffee the morning after. When relationships end as a result of sex issues it's almost never about the sex but the lies and violation of trust. 

So yes I want a relationship and I want the sex I like sex too I just don't think that it necessarily needs to be the same person filling those role all the time and giving myself over to trusting and loving a person rather than being suspicious of them is how I'd rather construct a life with someone. 

[rawfuckingonly]

Humans are mammals. Now, consider for a moment if you will that only 3% to 5% of all living mammal species on earth are monogamous. Less than 3% are monogamous for life. Think about it.