“Bat In Your League”

[bbzh]

21 hours ago, BootmanLA said:

Not that I disagree with expressing likes/wants in the affirmative rather than the negative, but those "affirmative" statements can be almost as off-putting. For instance, someone saying "I'm ONLY attracted to VERY muscular men - if you have to ask if you qualify, you probably don't".

I also don't see how "I'm ONLY interested in WHITE guys" is any less offensive than "No blacks/Asians".

What really underlies this attitude, I think, is that these self-centered asswipes think they are somehow inconvenienced by having to politely turn someone down, as though "Sorry, but I'm not interested - but thanks!" is beneath their dignity to utter.

In the end, the "hot" guys are trying to get the guys they find undesirable or less attractive to opt out of contacting them. Yes, BIYOL lacks tact. I think we pretty much all agree on that. But on some level, I can understand how it can be downright annoying to the "hot" guys who are constantly being approached. On BBRT, many "hot" guys turn off their oinks. Let's say 90 out of every 100 guys who approach us are not what we're looking for. How many of us - be honest now - want to send out 90 rejections and try our best to make the guy on the other end not feel like we're assholes. On another thread, we've had spirited debates on whether everyone who approaches deserves a gentle "no" or if ignoring unwanted advances is the way to go.

To get potential suitors to opt out of approaching you, the wording is key. Something along the lines of "I'm most attracted to white guys, 30-45 years old, height weight proportional" or "Black/mixed race guys to the front of the line" gets the point across quite well. There are probably much better formulations than that. 

To use another example, quite a few bottoms tend to have this "ugh" reaction when another bottom or versatile bottom approaches them.

So with that, I am hesitant to condemn people who aren't likely to be interested in me giving me clear signals not to waste my time by approaching them.

Let's not overlook the fact that we have all been annoyed at some point by potential suitors. Now imagine having that happen every single time you are online.  

[PlayfulPup]

I’ve never understood the “league” system.  Seems like everyone has their own tastes and like isn’t always attracted to like.

Point in case: I dated a large bear for many years.  He fucked some smoking hot body builders, firemen, and calendar models.   These guys wanted tag teams and gang bangs, but I was rejected because I wasn’t heavy enough.  *shrugs*

I wish we lived in a society that taught us to politely express our interests and respectfully decline when we aren’t interested without fear of harsh reaction.  Unfortunately, engaging online allows us to act with little or no consequence.  That’s a recipe for antisocial behavior and widespread alienation.

[ErosWired]

5 hours ago, bbzh said:

Let's not overlook the fact that we have all been annoyed at some point by potential suitors.

“Suitors”.  So that’s what all those guys who rutted my slit in the steam room were... suitors. Now the whole experience feels less like a mini-gangbang and more like afternoon tea on the verandah! 🤔

[bbzh]

Let's not overlook the fact that we have all been annoyed at some point by potential suitors horndogs.

😂

[Guest FinalDL2021]

On 3/13/2020 at 3:26 AM, ErosWired said:

I keep running across the phrase “Bat in your league” in men’s profiles, usually those of athletic or muscular men looking for equally athletic or muscular men their own age or a little younger. The inference is “I am elite, and unless you are also elite, you’re not worthy to speak to me, let alone take my cock.”

 I find this really irritating when I see it, mainly because I find self-important narcissists annoying, but also because of the presumption. No, I don’t have a physique to meet his standards, but what I do have, by all accounts, is a fantastic ass - what, then, makes him think he would be deserving of that? What makes him think he could bat in my league?

I agree, I am aware that, in my early 50's , that puts me out of the preferred range of what most guys are looking for, yet its their Loss. Online dating Apps are becoming more secondary to me; I just use BBRT, and feel is more of an extension of BZ.  I am physically active, and have a nice athletic build, along with a full head of greyish blond hair. When the mood presents itself, I go to Steam Works, or Watergarden in San Jose, CA, rent a room, strip down to a cobalt-blue Jock strap, and other athletic gear. and let the men enter.

[SFCumdog]

Some years ago when I was younger I had a much older friend who would hit on everybody, especially much younger guys  and straight guys, that I felt were soooo far out of his league that I just couldn't understand his doing it. Finally one day after he had been rebuffed by yet another one of these guys, I said to him "Why do you do put yourself through that??" And I'll never forget his response. He said to me "Sure, I've gotten slapped in the face an awful lot, but I've also gotten VERY lucky" as he winked at me. So I followed his advice and for every one of those assholes who has made a "bat in your league comment," there have been plenty of hot fucking guys who were more than happy to have some fun. 

Edited May 9, 2020 by SFCumdog

[Guest RawCunt]

Doesn't matter how some are rejected they are pissed off by it.   May as well be upfront.

I get pissed when I stumble on a profile I like and then read.... looking for a relationship.  At least having that stated means we both don't waste our time chatting back and forth to reach the same conclusion.    No different to preferences or leagues.  People need to stop taking these things as being written and directed personally at them.   It is simply a means to cut through all the BS and narrow down the possibilities.

[NLbear]

5 hours ago, SFCumdog said:

Some years ago when I was younger I had a much older friend who would hit on everybody, especially much younger guys  and straight guys, that I felt were soooo far out of his league that I just couldn't understand his doing it. Finally one day after he had been rebuffed by yet another one of these guys, I said to him "Why do you do put yourself through that??" And I'll never forget his response. He said to me "Sure, I've gotten slapped in the face an awful lot, but I've also gotten VERY lucky" as he winked at me. So I followed his advice and for every one of those assholes who has made a "bat in your league comment," there have been plenty of hot fucking guys who were more than happy to have some fun. 

This triggered me thinking about my own situation. I am older now and bottom. So I viewed profiles of younger tops and reading the profile and their preferences I didn't hit on them. Nobody likes being rejected or blocked. But some (having seen that I viewed their profile) replied asking if I was up for fun. When I asked why because I was clearly not in their preferred "league" some said that it was just a preference. That didn't exclude others. So I had great fun with guys who I thought were far out of my league. A few even returned and became regulars until we drifted apart.

[BlackDude]

As a black guy, I I have been rejected plenty of times and most of them were not kind. So now I return the favor and so I expect guys to be as upfront as I am. Plus I find most of these out of my league guys are usually pretty insecure and mediocre and have nothing going for them. Keep working hard, wait about 10-15 years and laugh at them. 

[Faggotuser]

On 3/13/2020 at 4:26 AM, ErosWired said:

I keep running across the phrase “Bat in your league” in men’s profiles, usually those of athletic or muscular men looking for equally athletic or muscular men their own age or a little younger. The inference is “I am elite, and unless you are also elite, you’re not worthy to speak to me, let alone take my cock.”

 I find this really irritating when I see it, mainly because I find self-important narcissists annoying, but also because of the presumption. No, I don’t have a physique to meet his standards, but what I do have, by all accounts, is a fantastic ass - what, then, makes him think he would be deserving of that? What makes him think he could bat in my league?

l like watching really good looking faggots with great bodies get fucked by men that normal gays would thing wasn't in their league. lt shows what a dirty no standards cockhungry, cumthisty little faggot it is

[YourNoLimitsBottom]

I've never seen that exact phrase before, but have seen wording that pretty much conveys the same concept. I think phrases like that are handy, if a guy feels that way, I know they aren't worth my time. I love sex, but not with narcissistic assholes. Not much turns me off, but that is a deal breaker.

[BlackDude]

This whole this of coffee baristas, and part-time fitness trainers/bartenders tell people they aren’t in their league is kinda comical. I mean work is work, but It’s not like some of these guys are successful enough to make you feel bad about yourself. There was this “hotter than thou” bartender in my town. One of those bro jack asshole types. Well unfortunately father time and the drugs have kicked in, and he’s no longer hot enough to have someone supplement his lifestyle. Dude actually had the nerve to hit me up on A4A (never mind the fact I remember his profile also said white dudes only). My simple reply was “sorry, 10 years too late.” Just saying......

Edited September 19, 2020 by BlackDude