Living life as an openly POZ gay man

[120DaysofSodom]

So I recently tested positive for HIV just last week. I had a test back in early January that returned negative results, and then another one in late February that returned positive. In January, I had a really terrible flu (but I tested negative for the flu and the doctor chalked it up to just a norovirus). I had to use a lot of my paid sick days at work and PTO because I couldnt get out of bed for two weeks. I have always been a really open, honest guy with all of my partners and even with my boyfriends that I always urged to open up our relationships. I have always understood the stigma around being POZ and wondered what it would be like to have to disclose this information to any future potential partners and face rejection over my status. I accept negative guys not wanting to be with a positive person. I was never like that because I understood the science behind guys being undetectable and there being options available to reduce the risk of transmission like PrEP. Well, now I am at that point in life where I have no choice. My question to you all is this: Is it easier for you all to just disclose in your HIV status on things like GRINDR, Jackd, A4A, BarebackRT that you're POZ instead of "Ask Me", or do you face a lot of discrimination for it you think in the gay community, and better you think to just have that discussion with any potential sexual partners one on one in private? And also, to just anyone in general, like friends, family, etc.?

I begin taking my ARV's on March 23rd for anyone wondering, and for anyone wondering, I am indifferent to finding out that im positive. Not angry, not sad, not feeling sorry for myself. Also, im not happy about it either, of course, as I find it a pain to have to take medication every day and having to fill my body with poisons, drowning in passivity (which is why I quit taking PrEP a few months ago because it was making me really ill every night). I think the only reflection that really bothers me about finding out that im positive is having a sort of live, malignant, alien sort of thing inside me whose only purpose is to kill me and then die. But having said that, I dont fear death and understand that from the minute were born we are dying, and now that I have it, I have an even more diminished sense of fear about being completely free to be an even bigger slut than I ever was before. Hope this wasnt too long a read, and appreciate being able to share my story with a like-minded and open community. 

Edited March 14, 2020 by TwinkFoot

[tepegodf]

Well stated.  I tend to either answer Ask Me in profiles, or leave it blank.  I will tell all if to the guys I fuck with.  Also, if they don't ask, then I figure they don't care too much about the answer.  I am in my mid 50's, been poz since 2003.  Like you I was indifferent to becoming poz.  It is a pain to take medication everyday.  

[fillmyholeftl]

I commend you for being so open and forthright so early in your "journey". First off, be proactive in your healthcare.  Find some support group also.

Now, I personally find it easier to be open and state my status in all apps and even reiterate it during a chat with someone who has negative or no status.  It gets it out of the way.  Be ready for some rejection and stigma.  But its really better to avid any issue or confrontation  later.  It's really unfortunate that in 2020, there is misinformation about HIV, U=U etc.... 

Good Luck, reach out here also for any support

[Guest Porthos]

I've been poz for almost 12 years and its been quite the journey...First of all just take your meds as part of your daily routine..Just like you shower, brush your teeth, have breakfast etc. I find taking meds the easiest part..I have a 7 day pill dispenser I refill every 7 days.

That being said I honestly think the negative stigma is getting better with PrEP and U=U.....At first I never disclosed, but now I do on a cae by case basis. I don't have it in my profile...I keep that blank, but if I am about to hook up I do disclose. I want to be honest to make it easier if it turns out to be a regular thing or hopefully a relationship. PrEP has made guys more willing to fuck me, and more knowledgeable guys know that undetectable is the safest fuck out there...A few are turned on by me being poz while at the same time realizing they cant get from me....I say leave your profile ambiguous and in any conversation disclose

[Bttm2go]

Living in Palm Springs, I don’t even think of it since so many guys here are positive. Most take very good care of themselves and are undetectable. So as someone who is negative I would think of you as just another guy to have fun with. I think PrEP has relaxed more guys. If you run into someone who turns you down because of your status, that’s his right, but also his loss. There are plenty of guys out there who will be happy to play with you. And they are the ones you want to be with. 

[evilalex]

On 3/14/2020 at 10:35 AM, TwinkFoot said:

So I recently tested positive for HIV just last week. I had a test back in early January that returned negative results, and then another one in late February that returned positive. In January, I had a really terrible flu (but I tested negative for the flu and the doctor chalked it up to just a norovirus). I had to use a lot of my paid sick days at work and PTO because I couldnt get out of bed for two weeks. I have always been a really open, honest guy with all of my partners and even with my boyfriends that I always urged to open up our relationships. I have always understood the stigma around being POZ and wondered what it would be like to have to disclose this information to any future potential partners and face rejection over my status. I accept negative guys not wanting to be with a positive person. I was never like that because I understood the science behind guys being undetectable and there being options available to reduce the risk of transmission like PrEP. Well, now I am at that point in life where I have no choice. My question to you all is this: Is it easier for you all to just disclose in your HIV status on things like GRINDR, Jackd, A4A, BarebackRT that you're POZ instead of "Ask Me", or do you face a lot of discrimination for it you think in the gay community, and better you think to just have that discussion with any potential sexual partners one on one in private? And also, to just anyone in general, like friends, family, etc.?

I begin taking my ARV's on March 23rd for anyone wondering, and for anyone wondering, I am indifferent to finding out that im positive. Not angry, not sad, not feeling sorry for myself. Also, im not happy about it either, of course, as I find it a pain to have to take medication every day and having to fill my body with poisons, drowning in passivity (which is why I quit taking PrEP a few months ago because it was making me really ill every night). I think the only reflection that really bothers me about finding out that im positive is having a sort of live, malignant, alien sort of thing inside me whose only purpose is to kill me and then die. But having said that, I dont fear death and understand that from the minute were born we are dying, and now that I have it, I have an even more diminished sense of fear about being completely free to be an even bigger slut than I ever was before. Hope this wasnt too long a read, and appreciate being able to share my story with a like-minded and open community. 

Is that you in your avatar sucking on that dick? If so, you're not going to have any trouble getting laid, friend.

[cumtaker77]

I was diagnosed 4months ago.  I've always left status blank on my profiles.  I've always brought up the question in the past if the other person didn't bring it up first.  I still feel that both parties have the right to ask if it's important to them.  I don't have to disclose,and if you don't ask, I probably won't bring it up first at this point.  With that said I will admit that a little over a month ago I started playing with someone, didn't disclose at first and after 4 or 5 oak only get togethers, I did feel compelled to disclose my status before we had anal sex.  It was a bit awkward, but he was enlightened and it all worked out. I'm still somewhat conflicted and don't know what the right answer is.

[1111bb2222]

On 3/14/2020 at 6:35 AM, TwinkFoot said:

So I recently tested positive for HIV just last week. I had a test back in early January that returned negative results, and then another one in late February that returned positive. In January, I had a really terrible flu (but I tested negative for the flu and the doctor chalked it up to just a norovirus). I had to use a lot of my paid sick days at work and PTO because I couldnt get out of bed for two weeks. I have always been a really open, honest guy with all of my partners and even with my boyfriends that I always urged to open up our relationships. I have always understood the stigma around being POZ and wondered what it would be like to have to disclose this information to any future potential partners and face rejection over my status. I accept negative guys not wanting to be with a positive person. I was never like that because I understood the science behind guys being undetectable and there being options available to reduce the risk of transmission like PrEP. Well, now I am at that point in life where I have no choice. My question to you all is this: Is it easier for you all to just disclose in your HIV status on things like GRINDR, Jackd, A4A, BarebackRT that you're POZ instead of "Ask Me", or do you face a lot of discrimination for it you think in the gay community, and better you think to just have that discussion with any potential sexual partners one on one in private? And also, to just anyone in general, like friends, family, etc.?

I begin taking my ARV's on March 23rd for anyone wondering, and for anyone wondering, I am indifferent to finding out that im positive. Not angry, not sad, not feeling sorry for myself. Also, im not happy about it either, of course, as I find it a pain to have to take medication every day and having to fill my body with poisons, drowning in passivity (which is why I quit taking PrEP a few months ago because it was making me really ill every night). I think the only reflection that really bothers me about finding out that im positive is having a sort of live, malignant, alien sort of thing inside me whose only purpose is to kill me and then die. But having said that, I dont fear death and understand that from the minute were born we are dying, and now that I have it, I have an even more diminished sense of fear about being completely free to be an even bigger slut than I ever was before. Hope this wasnt too long a read, and appreciate being able to share my story with a like-minded and open community. 

I am open about my hiv status and proud poz gay pig. In my opinion it’s better to be up front. I have definitely seen my share of  hiv discrimination in gay community and I knew this would happen. I hope you are finding away forward with your new status and are proud poz pig. Good luck on your journey! 
 

[120DaysofSodom]

1 hour ago, Pozfaggot80 said:

I am open about my hiv status and proud poz gay pig. In my opinion it’s better to be up front. I have definitely seen my share of  hiv discrimination in gay community and I knew this would happen. I hope you are finding away forward with your new status and are proud poz pig. Good luck on your journey! 
 

I agree. I've been totally transparent about my status on everything, and have embraced it fully. Im a proud POZ pig, and also prefer to just have it out there and to be upfront about it. I rather the guys that hit me up looking to have sex know fully well before they even message me that im positive, and personally, I prefer being with other POZ guys myself and taking their POZ loads. I'm also definitely not going to be the type of guy (unlike what can be unfortunately said about some people on this site) that hides his status like a pussy ass bitch, and then goes around knowingly infecting people like a complete douchebag. Those types of people should be ashamed of themselves. 

[120DaysofSodom]

On 3/28/2020 at 9:57 PM, evilalex said:

Is that you in your avatar sucking on that dick? If so, you're not going to have any trouble getting laid, friend.

lol yes its me 😁

[evilalex]

2 hours ago, TwinkFoot said:

lol yes its me 😁

I want to kiss you while you're sucking it. 

[funpozbottom]

2 hours ago, TwinkFoot said:

I agree. I've been totally transparent about my status on everything, and have embraced it fully. Im a proud POZ pig, and also prefer to just have it out there and to be upfront about it. I rather the guys that hit me up looking to have sex know fully well before they even message me that im positive, and personally, I prefer being with other POZ guys myself and taking their POZ loads. I'm also definitely not going to be the type of guy (unlike what can be unfortunately said about some people on this site) that hides his status like a pussy ass bitch, and then goes around knowingly infecting people like a complete douchebag. Those types of people should be ashamed of themselves. 

When I was diagnosed I wondered how it would effect hookups, and other interactions, but I wasn't going to lie to anyone, so I created all new profiles that disclosed my status in my name. Before someone clicks on my profile, they already know what my status is and we don't waste each other's time trying to work that out. So with the new profile and reveled status, the number of messages I received increased.  All comments I received were positive (no pun intended) and fear of a stigma faded away.  

I did not want to become POZ, but once I was diagnosed, it was fairly easy for me to adjust to it being a part of me. Having a virus does not define who I am, rather it's the opposite. I determine whether, and by how much, it has an influence in my life. If there has been one positive aspect of becoming POZ, I think it has made me a little more relaxed, a little more open, and a little more accepting of myself and other people.

[NastyBrazilian]

If you're in the gay community nowadays it is normal to meet poz people, at least for me in Brazil. Some people are relutant, some people choose to hide their status, but after all it is fucking normal to be poz. And I don't know how discret your sorology can be where you live, but here we have laws prohibiting HR ppl and even doctors who aren't supposed to treat your HIV from knowing your status.
And I don't think HIV is an "alien" destroying you. For me it's just a chronic condition, you can die easily from other shit. There will be a cure for HIV in the future, that's a fact; even if pharmaceutical companies are hiding that, the top secret won't last longer.

(sorry about any typo, I'm not fluent)

[Guest]

I was diagnosed in 2004 when the world was very different from today. I didn’t want to poz and at first I was ashamed. I’ve gotten over that long ago. At first guys didn’t want to fuck with me even wrapped. (I’ve long who gone totally bare). Now I have guys begging me for my load. 
 

With regards to disclosure on hook up sites I am upfront that I am poz/undetectable. If I see “ask me” on a profile I assume the guy is poz. It also is a turn off for me since I think you should have the balls to disclose before you hook up. On the other hand. I’m extremely careful with disclosing in non sexual situations. Only doctors, dentists and other medical professionals need to know. 

[Guest PozJock]

On 4/13/2020 at 5:48 PM, TwinkFoot said:

I agree. I've been totally transparent about my status on everything, and have embraced it fully. Im a proud POZ pig, and also prefer to just have it out there and to be upfront about it. I rather the guys that hit me up looking to have sex know fully well before they even message me that im positive, and personally, I prefer being with other POZ guys myself and taking their POZ loads. I'm also definitely not going to be the type of guy (unlike what can be unfortunately said about some people on this site) that hides his status like a pussy ass bitch, and then goes around knowingly infecting people like a complete douchebag. Those types of people should be ashamed of themselves. 

Totally Agree.  proud POZ pig here 😉