How far would you travel?

[jamie6369]

I always get the impression here in the UK, that we think 50 miles is the end of the earth and way too far away. 

I live in Lincoln - many people here seem to think it is some sort of massive trip going to Nottingham (40 miles, about an hour drive)

I have had quite a few "it's a shame you're so far away" comments (admittedly, not on BZ) from people that I consider quite close. 

A good few years ago (late 1990's) I drove down to Burnham on Crouch in Essex for a caning, it wasn't a problem (although the seat was really warm on the way back!). 

So, is it distance or time the journey takes? How far would be deemed reasonable. For me, roughly a 50 mile radius, I wouldn't really hesitate about doing. 

[Ranger Rick]

It's also a function of what sort of traffic I would encounter and the neighborhood. Happy to drive out into the countryside for a romp, but there are parts of cities that are no-go for me.

[AirmaxUK]

Based on personal experience, a lot of it maybe to do with easy availability: I live out the Chiltern countryside, west of London - not many guys around here, but we're only 28 minutes from central London by train. Guys won't travel out of town to visit even though we have tons of space and they can stay overnight. Why? Probably because guys in London can find what they need on their doorstep pretty much. Although, I find a bit odd as with population density in London being what it is many people live in shared spaces and the first question is usually 'can you accom?'. Yes I can, but they have to travel and they won't. 

That's backed by the my observation that other guys in neighbouring towns and villages don't mind a 10-15 mile trip - and we're all regulars in London for fun. 

I'm often in London for work (pre lockdown) and run against the 'can you accom?' issue which is why I tend to stick to places like central station, vault, etc. 

You might be finding a similar thing is happening with Nottingham and Lincoln. 

For me travelling is about risk - if I think someone might flake then I'll be less inclined to travel. If it's someone I know or have met before then I'd be more inclined. Also I always try and have a plan 'B' if I'm travelling a decent distance - perhaps a nearby sauna or something that ties with another of my hobbies and interests. What I never do is say I'll be somewhere and not show up. For me once the commitment is made there's no backing out. 

I've travelled London to Hull for a session before which was three hours there and three back with traffic... I have plans in the making to visit another BZ guy in Manchester and another in Blackpool when the Covid thing quietens down a bit more - both are long trips. I am in the early stages of planning a visit to Frankfurt to meet someone - but that will likely be combined with other reasons to visit Frankfurt, as that's a fair cost and time commitment. 

Andy

[jamie6369]

I agree with Ranger Rick - traffic is an issue, tbh, if a mate asks for a lift across town at 5pm, it might be 3-4 miles, but it will take over an hour for the round trip!

Andy - I think you are right with people who have what they want on their doorsteps, I guess spoiled/lazy - I don't want to insult anyone, I'd probably be the same. I have certainly come across people who travel from Lincoln to Nottingham, small city to bigger city, but don't think I have ever come across people flowing in the opposite direction. 

I also agree with you in the old saying "A mans word is his bond" - if I say I will be somewhere, then I will be. I know in the past, I have agreed to meet in fairly public places and the person I'm supposed to be meeting has had one look at me and decided I'm not his type and walked straight past! I am not bothered about someone not liking when they see in person, but don't be rude, just say I'm not doing anything for them! One person a few years ago agreed to meet, and when we did, actually said I was too old for him - which was, in a way nice he took the time to say sorry, but on the other hand, my photos tend to be fairly up to date and my age was on whatever profile he saw. 

I agree with a plan B - I went to Sheffield last year to meet someone, oddly they pulled out at the last minute due to something, but I like Sheffield, I went to Uni there, so it was a good chance to have a wonder around and see how the place had changed over the last 10 years or so. 

On a positive note - many people have done the meet half-way thing, it's sometimes a little "Well, now we're here in the M1 services, where do we go that's a little quieter?" when neither of us know the local area. 

Meeting people is nearly always a positive experience, even if it just for a chat and coffee. 

I guess in many ways, you get out of a meeting, what you put into a meeting. 

As for accommodating a meeting - yes I can, but people seem to go all quiet when I say I can accommodate. It's like many people want to, but get frightened at the thought of going to someones house. 

Idk, I think I've waffled on too much here with my random thoughts! 

[Guest]

On 6/11/2020 at 8:36 AM, AirmaxAndy said:

For me travelling is about risk - if I think someone might flake then I'll be less inclined to travel. If it's someone I know or have met before then I'd be more inclined. Also I always try and have a plan 'B' if I'm travelling a decent distance - perhaps a nearby sauna or something that ties with another of my hobbies and interests. What I never do is say I'll be somewhere and not show up. For me once the commitment is made there's no backing out. 

I am in the early stages of planning a visit to Frankfurt to meet someone - but that will likely be combined with other reasons to visit Frankfurt, as that's a fair cost and time commitment.

Exactly this. It's about risk and the amount of guys who flake. 20 min dtive is fine, or meet in central London and if they're weird or flakes or fakes I can just go to a bar or sauna. 

Also, sometimes guys get weird or really clingy after the fuck so if I don't already know them I want the option to fuck off home afterwards rather than be stuck there if trains have ended or I'm driving and we've had a drink. If it's local enough I can just get a taxi there and back. 

I've made arrangements to meet someone while I travel to another city before, combining a weekend break with a fuck trip and sauna/clubs while there, so I haven't wasted a trip if the fuckdate doesn't work out. 

[ftmbristolukfun]

about an hours drive for me. I cant physically do much longer 

[jamie6369]

On 8/7/2020 at 10:16 AM, ftmbristolukfun said:

about an hours drive for me. I cant physically do much longer 

An hour isn't bad, 40 miles, around here (East Midlands) that will get you to several large cities. 

[Franticperv]

For the right load(s) from the right man I'd travel anywhere in the UK.

[bbrich]

I’m not lazy, but over the years have been fucked about that many times, I will literally keep it to a 20 minute journey unless I was 190% sure! Would also add though that because of situation and nerves, I never over promise myself. I get very nervous about taking anal, so any spidey-sense tingles and I say no. God knows how much genuine cock I have passed up, but when you turn up somewhere and then a profile goes quiet (not here btw!), you get a bit reluctant to put yourself out.  

Edited August 25, 2020 by bbrich

[jamie6369]

I understand nervousness, and in the past have backed out and made excuses when things haven't "felt" right, although when I did back out, it was before anyone started travelling. 

Grindr makes me laugh, loads of I'll do this, I'll do that, then as soon as I say that I can host a meeting, they go quiet or even on occasion, block me! Then again, I use my profile as an advert for my weird fetishes, so probably not getting messages from the most reliable users! 

I now always ask for a face photo. People who will show you what they look like (even in a private message) seem more reliable. 

[kinkysuBB]

I’ve travelled to London from Dublin by plane for sex, and subsequently on to Brighton for Cumunion, although none of it was exactly spontaneous. While in London I’ve travelled around on the tube for maybe an hour to meets. I actually find it hard to find guys further afield over there, the population density is so huge that Grindr only shows me a couple of km, and BBRT makes you specify your location within London. What apps/sites do you guys use?

[bbrich]

On 8/25/2020 at 5:39 PM, jamie6369 said:

I understand nervousness, and in the past have backed out and made excuses when things haven't "felt" right, although when I did back out, it was before anyone started travelling. 

Grindr makes me laugh, loads of I'll do this, I'll do that, then as soon as I say that I can host a meeting, they go quiet or even on occasion, block me! Then again, I use my profile as an advert for my weird fetishes, so probably not getting messages from the most reliable users! 

I now always ask for a face photo. People who will show you what they look like (even in a private message) seem more reliable. 

Many times my gut has told me something not right and that’s why I have become nervous. I’m not into intense physicality and as such the words used during the messages have just made me go “woah”. But I have learned to communicate that, and at the end of the day it has to be right for both parties, and those that want things a different way sexually, fair fucking play, it’s not like this is a mainstream site!