what is it like? there is no word to descrive how horrible it is

[LetsPOZBreed]

While I appreciate your comments @slampigcumdumpLA, I have to agree with my poz brothers above in that my feeling is not having a "hissy fit".  I get your point that all other things being equal, there are medical differences, but that is far oversimplifying things.  You're neglecting two important points by laying out a hypothetical:  (1)  You're leaving out the mental aspect of dealing with a positive status, and (2) No two humans are created equal - medically and mentally. 

I've been hit up by poz chasers on the apps ever since I disclosed my status on my profile.  I still have no interest in meeting them to "poz them" (my screen-name aside).  If anything, I try and have a talk with them about why they are chasing and so forth - many will not engage, but the odd few will; you'd be surprised at some people's stories whether you agree with them or not.  

Whatever I may feel about my own poz status, I certainly don't enjoy the doctor visits, remembering to take my nightly pharmaceutical regimen, or restricting my global travel due to some nations' unenlightened views on transmission (looking at you, Singapore).  There's also the whole dating thing, which likely belongs in its own thread.

[BootmanLA]

I think I'll answer the original question first, and then address the previous comment.

I certainly understand the perspective of those who say "Before I was diagnosed, I didn't care much about my health; I've had to get serious about it since then, and now (other than HIV) I'm the healthiest I've been in my life." I'm not sure I'm quite that far improved, but I do watch my cholesterol better, my blood sugar's completely under control, my blood pressure is regularly normal, etc. I've got a ways to go losing about 20 more pounds (to improve my stamina, mostly). 

But those improvements have come at a serious cost.

1 hour ago, LetsPOZBreed said:

Whatever I may feel about my own poz status, I certainly don't enjoy the doctor visits, remembering to take my nightly pharmaceutical regimen, or restricting my global travel due to some nations' unenlightened views on transmission (looking at you, Singapore).  There's also the whole dating thing, which likely belongs in its own thread.

Despite having an undetectable viral load, I'm bound to medication to keep it there for the rest of my life. At 57, with my family history, that could easily be another 25 years (ASSUMING we don't learn that after 20 years on HIV compound medications, your body just starts to break down). That's an enormous amount of money to pour into maintenance of my status (currently, at least $35K paid either by my insurer or my copays). Global travel isn't really an issue for me as I don't have a great desire to travel to Singapore, North Korea, Russia, or most of the Middle East - not because there isn't a lot of wonderful culture and history to explore there, but there are plenty of other places where I'm more welcome. But as you note, dating is an entire topic of its own. I've started just blocking any profile that says "DDF/UB2" on the grounds that rudeness doesn't excuse a blunt statement of that sort.

And I'm not even going to touch the topic of those people who think it's a badge of honor to be positive, who encourage anyone and everyone else to become positive, etc. - other than to say that until you're willing to pay their medical expenses and insurance costs and you're willing to foot the bills to compensate if they lose their jobs or family or whatever, then you should just shut the fuck up and advise people to think long and hard about the consequences of their actions. Encouraging people to jump off a cliff and expecting them to discover a parachute mid-air is shitty behavior.

In other words: If it were simply a case of turning the clock back to exactly where I was, pre-diagnosis (or even more specifically, pre-infection, whenever that was), and being in the same state as I was then? I might or might not do it.

But if I could keep the gains I've made, the changes in my life, etc. WITHOUT still being HIV-positive? In a fucking heartbeat. The crappy side of this sucks, and no amount of "But Ah feel FRAY" like a Lee Greenwood impression gone bad is going to change that.

[Pozguyinchi]

On 1/3/2021 at 2:45 PM, slampigcumdumpLA said:

whether or not you barely notice your poz status or it hasnt affected your life or so you think that is; it is a statement in fact that being poz is not good. i understand that some things are ways of coping or dealing with this and im not talking about that stuff. I am talking about glorification and active seeking of such a status. if you guys want to enlighten me maybe ill see it different once it is explained to me in more detail but anytime i say anything remotely anti poz on this site and everyone has a hissy fit. 

Scientifically, being HIV positive is a detrement to ones health and existance. I am not talking about you specifically because of course there are some who end up taking better care of their health because they are positive and thus live healthier lives, but im referring to the hypothetical senario where two people care forthemselves equally, the one who is poz will suffer a worse outcome, whether you measure that by financial hardship either for them, their family , or their community, a time sink, and subsequent health issues arising from being poz. 

i could rant about bug chasers, and the guys who are poud of being aids whores and on purpose have high viral loads and low cd4 counts, but their demise thankfully is immenent so i will leave them be. 

you know there is a space where bareback sex, cum, being a slut, slamming, etc is all really hot, feels really good and has no connection or need mention anything about all the risks one takes. i certainly dont get off on any of these because im i engaging in risky play, in fact that is what limits me from doing more. anyway. all in all i wish i could be neg, and would trade spots with anyone who is willign to so easily give up their neg status if it were possible.

I have been poz since I was 19. It’s now over half of my life. I don’t feel that I glorify it or promote conversion. I do however feel it has been empowering and has helped me define who I am and how I find my place in this world. I look back now and see comments that I have said like...”I wouldn’t change a thing or I have no regrets”. I think I wasn’t to being truthful. I do have regrets but I don’t let them define my life. I also think that I would be the same whore today as I used to be if I wasn’t poz. We have come a long way medically and now men have an opportunity to be uninhibited without the side effects of a nasty disease that has taken the lives of so many people. 

[drscorpio]

Moderator's Note: More abusive posts have been hidden. The thread is over. If you didn't get an infraction, then I don't consider you part of the problem even if I had to hide your post.